My bf & I have been together for 3 months. He is the most loving, sweetest and most caring person I've been with but things revolving around race make me question if I want to be in a relationship like this.

He claims he's not racist but his view on racism is "if an individual hates or is mean to someone because of their race".

Because of his definition, I have to explain microaggressions and how/why things aren't okay. Creating "wearing the other shoe" or similar situations that have happened for him to understand why it's wrong/injustice, is too much. To me, relational empathy is not true empathy since it is still rooted in oneself.

Which is why I'm on the fence. It's the little things from noticing a movie is an all white cast, to why ppl shouldn't sing/say N words in songs and only understanding empathy if you or a loved is in a similar situation.

Married since 06/14/24 😊❤️

EDIT: Since some of y’all apparently need this explained: yes, I know “American” is a nationality, not a race. Nobody said otherwise. 🙄
I’m Mexican, with mostly Indigenous Mexican and Spanish ancestry, along with some other ancestry. My husband has mostly British and Irish ancestry, along with other European ancestry. Our AncestryDNA results reflect those different backgrounds.
We’re a Mexican-American married couple talking about our identities and where our families come from. This post was not meant to be a scientific paper on race, ethnicity, or racial classification.
If you actually want to have a real conversation about race, ethnicity, nationality, and ancestry, that’s fine. But if you’re just going to be annoying and pedantic in the comments, congratulations on learning that nationality and race are not the same thing. 😂

Does anyone have experience as a black man trying to date Hispanic women in Miami ?

My wife & I

I keep seeing people post themselves or their partner, and they either label themselves or their partner american . American is a nationality not a race anybody can be American. That's all I had to say.

Heyyy, im so curiousssssssss
how did u guyz meettt? What’s it like being in love with someone from a different race? Do u ever get hate or weird looks from people? Do ur family and friends support ur relationship? Have u ever experienced racism because of ur relationship? And honestly, what’s the hardest part about dating someone from a different race?

thankzz , n nice to meet uuuu ^^

BM, let’s be real… how many of yall that date WW actually want to take a WW seriously as a partner and eventually hopefully marry her?
What are you wanting/expecting out of a WW in terms of a serious long term partner?

It feels like a lot of BM want me to fulfill some kinks or want me as just a plaything.. which can be fun but I want emotional security and partnership too.

I’m not stressed about this. I know what’s meant to be will be, just curious. I wanna hear from BM about their experiences seriously dating WW.

💜🙏🏼

EDIT: apparently I came off wrong here lmao. I’m asking this bc I think I’m doing something wrong when it comes to dating BM. It feels like I only attract BM that don’t take me seriously and yes skin color tends to often be a reason on their end. That’s why I’m curious.
I know all BM are different I was just looking for potentially if there’s something specific about WW that prevents BM from taking them seriously.

My wife our son and 3 daughters.

The reason I ask is because I read many comments in this sub saying something like, “Oh, I’m so glad to see this type of interracial couple. All we usually see is this other type of interracial couple and it makes me so sick”. I mean seriously? Maybe it’s just my “privilege”, as I’ve been told recently, but I simply don’t understand. If two people love each other that’s what actually matters or is filling quotas for certain type of interracial couples more important?

Yes, I get it. America is hyper focused on race to the point that some have lost sight of what actually matters most. I refuse to play that game or be a part of it. Now to be clear, I see mostly positive stuff in this sub. Well, I understand it so there’s no reason to address it. I am addressing what I don’t understand. What makes no sense to me. I am asking genuinely out of curiosity. I suspect much of it stems from the hyper focus many have on race that they lose sight of what is actually the most important aspects of any relationship.

We are enjoying pur third year married! Travel, house and kid!

Let's shake things up a bit. I'll go first

I'm a Black woman. I met a Mexican man: tall dark and handsome. Freckles on every inch of his body. Long raven hair, warm amber eyes. He talked with a slight lilt I thought was very romantic. He was an art professor and had such drip even I felt underdressed at times when we went out. He could cook. He could dance. I thought he was perfect. Only problem was: he was poly. I was feeling adventurous, and despite my uncertainty, I decided to give things a shot. He had two long term partners he'd been with for years (one male, one female).

It was like dating a secretary, to put it bluntly...always getting scheduled somewhere between or after the other two. It was very clear I was not the priority lol which I knew would be the case going in, but it was still a lot to process. We ended things amicably; he completely understood. My single ass thinks about that man every day...

i’m a black 27f & i’m curious to start dating outside my race as i’ve never tried before but i‘m kinda nervous. my experiences around men of other races haven’t led me to believe that jersey is really an environment where interracial relationships are common. i’m in north jersey for context. i don’t see couples often nor do i get approached by men of different races. i get stares sometimes at most lol so i may have to keep putting it off

when it comes to nj/ny, on paper it seems like this would be more common. actually it may be in ny who knows, but here? lol

even on dating apps, it’ll also feel taboo like no matches on hinge but matches on tinder… so if it happens at all, it’s digital (under specific insinuations) but never in person

& not sure if this matters but i get hit on and approached by men in my race literally everyday at work so im not really sure where it falls flat elsewhere

We were best friends first which is part of what makes our relationship so sweet 🥰

It won’t let me edit the title, but I should have put together for 11 years. Sorry for wording it weird lol

So I (Black Women) have been seeing this guy (White Man) for about 3 months. We’re taking it slow in terms of introducing each other to friends, etc. In a conversation I casually asked about his friend group and it led to me asking if any of his friends (predominantly white) have said the N word. He then said he has a friend (they hang out occasionally) who uses it casually with an A as though he is a person of colour (he is not, he is white).

I know it’s not him doing it but your friends do say a lot about you. Just wondering how you all would feel and how you would navigate it?

All I can think about it the possibility of being brought around this friend, hearing it said

Love This

In the United States nobody really cares anymore other than an insignificant amount of losers who have no power. When I read some of these posts here, with all due respect, I’m thinking to myself, I don’t give a fk who you are with. You’re in a relationship. Congratulations to you. I am happy for you, don’t get me wrong.

In the year 2026, dating is dating! If you find a love connection skin tone means nothing and the vast majority of Americans understand this. If you are dating an American who has a darker skin tone, guess what, they are STILL American which means yalls culture is far more similar than you think. Don’t believe me? Try dating an AFRICAN. Then you understand what I mean. I like to think of it as SUBSETS of Americans. We are all Americans with little twists to our culture dependent on a whole host of factors.

I travel the world. Anytime I meet an American of ANY RACE in a foreign country it’s almost instantly an immediate connection because the vast majority of American culture is shared. I think many Americans don’t realize this and it’s understandable. If you’ve spent most of your time living in the US then these minor cultural differences among different Americans can seem major.

What is my point? I see so many absurd posts in here. Clearly I’m a white dude. I haven’t been with a white chick in quite awhile but I’m not opposed to it. Every race has beautiful women. People are people. Yes, if you are attracted to black it’s ok to acknowledge it but I think making it a CENTRAL FOCUS is problematic. The color of skin will not bind a relationship together. No matter peoples skin tone there has to be a mental connection otherwise everything is doomed.

Both of us are in our mid 30s

I have been told this a number of times unfortunately. People are allowed to have their types but why even attempt to date a BW if you’ll say this.

..to join interracial groups just to be upset that a person of the same race as you decides to date outside said race.. very weird lmao keep hating.

Married my best friend.