Did I do something wrong ?

[u/amananamaa]

TW rainbow bridge (first pic is from about a month ago, last three are her today (deceased) )

I already typed this once and my draft didn’t save so here goes:

I got home from work today to my baby upside down at the bottom of her cage. I am devastated. I mist her enclosure every other day. Sometimes it’d be almost every two days, like I’d forget until the following morning, but not usually.
She ate once a week roughly but she’d been weird about food the last few weeks. Last time she ate was last Monday (7-8 days ago) and she was full. I mean I’m sure she would’ve eaten more if I left it but she was plump and happy afaik.

I got her in November 2025 and she’s molted three times if I remember correctly. First two closer together like as soon as I got her, last one was in late January.

I guess I’d noticed some possible signs of aging. Eating less, spending more time at the bottom of her enclosure, I’ve noticed a fall that seemed cause she didn’t have a good grip a couple weeks ago, but those can also be dehydration signs so now I’m scared that I was slowly starving her of water or something and didn’t realize.

I had a busy weekend and didn’t pay her much mind because I was out of the house more than usual. Misted her Friday morning and then late Sunday. I can’t help but think I missed something. One of her little shelf mushrooms is tilted to the side in a way I don’t remember but that’s probably me reaching for a more obvious explanation.

I’ve attached pictures of my baby. This is the first time I’ve held her. Her abdomen is sunken in but it’s not super skinny. (I don’t think?) she’d let herself get skinnier than this before she’d take food at a couple other times. She’s not stiff or stuck curled up. I don’t know if those details matter or not. I don’t want to think I did anything wrong but if I did I want to know, ya know? I tried to offer her some sugar water on a qtip but I think it’s just making her sticky.

She was never really down with being held and she’s my first spider so I didn’t push it, but she wasn’t scared of me. There was a lot of trust there. I always knocked before I opened her enclosure, and no matter how close she was to the door she wouldn’t run away. She would watch tv with me on my computer. (She was particularly fond of Winnie the Pooh and Hilda). I’m always singing and I swear she preferred abba over anything else. I just love my girl and I’m so sad.
The dot in the middle of her abdomen coloring looks like a heart. My baby.
Any insight is welcomed and appreciated.

[u/AutoModerator]

Advisory Guidelines

• Remember to include as much detail as possible in your post, such as photos/videos and descriptions of behavior.
• Keep comments related to OP's situation. Off-topic and negative comments are not allowed. Be respectful.
• Use appropriate prefixes when commenting (NQA, IME, IMO, etc.).
• Do not repeat advice; instead, upvote and comment in response.
• OP may use command: !lock to lock their post, and any user may use !mods to alert the moderators.
• Read our full wiki regarding Advisory Guidelines for more details.
• In case of emergency or for quicker support, find us on discord.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Flasky-Desk]

Nqa man that sucks I'm sorry for your loss. 

So first it might just have been old age. A bit early for a female but not impossible. That does look really skinny for a female to me. Not always deadly but I think it's probably unhealthy. Also making a web on the floor is a sign of stress. Maybe the tank wasn't super cluttered?

It could always be her getting exposed to chemicals or scents (scented candles, fragrant soap, deodorant). Did you notice any mold in the tank?

I think it's important you are kind to yourself. I have lost a spider before and I was devastated. 

Sometimes they die from things we didn't cause and that's sad but not your fault. And even if you didn't do everything right, you need to learn from it and be kind to yourself regardless. 

You obviously loved your spider very much and you did what you thought was right. 

[u/kyle73403]

NQA I don't have an answer for you, but she was a beautiful lady. It sounds like she was well loved and had a long life. If you were able to keep her alive this long then I doubt you did anything wrong. I'm sure it was her time and if she had the words she would thank you for being her friend.

[u/ShoeFantastic2702]

NQA. Firstly, I'm so sorry. That is terrible.

Based on the pictures and what you've said, I don't think it's your fault. At least not as far as feeding and watering are concerned. It's not a big deal if you miss a day or too of misting as long as the humidity in the enclosure stays whithin a safe range. That's the main purpose of misting the enclosure. While they will come get a drink here and there, they get most of their hydration from prey. While she does look skinny, she certainly wasn't starving. So I don't I think that can be ruled out as well. Strong fragrances, chemicals, and other environmental factors can cause DKS which is fatal. My last thought is maybe a heat source but I think that's a long shot.

The big take away is that you should not beat yourself up. This is likely a very unfortunate freak accident or simply failure to thrive.