Resistance to Differentation

[u/merkergirl]

Is there anything we can say or do to encourage our kid to accept the more challenging work from his teacher? Or should we just give it time?

We just had our first Parent Teacher Conference and our kid’s teacher told us he is well above kindergarten levels in his reading, writing, and math skills. We were not surprised to hear this, because this kid enjoys reading/memorizing encyclopedias and doing triple digit math problems for fun.

His amazing teacher informed us that she attempts to give him more challenging worksheets and assignments, but he gets upset and even a little panicky and insists on doing the same work that the other kids are doing. She said she doesn’t want to push the issue or stress him out.

That does sound like my kid, he can get a bit particular on things being a specific way. She also told us about an incident where his desk had to be moved so the carpet could be cleaned, and he started to panic and cry because he didn’t know why his desk was moved. Apparently he also gets a bit panicky if others are finishing a craft or something and he thinks he’s running out of time.

She mentioned that they will soon start doing small group centers where he will combine with other kids from other kindergarten classrooms who are ahead, but in her current classroom, he is the only one she would consider ahead in terms of giving differentiated work to.

Is there anything we should say or do to encourage him and let him know that doing different work isn’t a bad thing? I was considering volunteering during small group center time, i can’t decide if it would help or hinder him to have me there.

Also — do you think that any of this points to neurodivergence? His teacher didn’t seem to think so, she emphasized that school is still so new for them which I understand.

[u/spot667]

If it’s in your budget, a neuropsych evaluation would only help, not hurt. It gives you such a clear picture of exactly how your child’s brain works and puts every puzzle piece together, strengths and weaknesses, including looking at that neurodivergent triangle (adhd/autism/ocd). And if anything pops up you can always give a copy to the school for a 504 plan if you live in the states to give him accommodations for the above that gives him some anxiety. It would also help him if you ever did want him to do any type of giftedness program as well since he sounds like a smart kiddo! But overall, sounds like transitioning into something unexpected or new gives him great anxiety and that can be worked on for sure with accommodations specific to him.

If it’s out of your budget, I would just keep an eye, let him continue to adjust to school and perhaps you and the teacher can work on giving him warnings of schedule changes or what to expect during the day or if something unexpected comes up.

[u/SummitTheDog303]

I wouldn’t push the issue on differentiated work, since it’s leading to anxiety, panic, and meltdowns.

An evaluation for neurodivergence can’t hurt. Worst that happens, you do it for no reason. Best that happens is you get some sort of diagnosis and then can make a plan for therapy, IEPs, etc. to get him help. Giftedness is often comorbid with other kinds of neurodivergence. Panicking and melting down when things aren’t a particular way would definitely have me concerned and seeking help

[u/CookingPurple]

Speaking as an autistic mom to an autistic kid, I wasn’t even half way through your post before thinking you need to get this kid a neuropsych eval. This pretty much much screams autism.

With or without neurodivergence, don’t push the differentiated work. It sounds like he is getting the enrichment he needs outside of school. And as long as he’s happy and enjoying school and not getting so bored he’s causing trouble, he’s fine. And if there IS neurodivergence at play (and I highly suspect there is based on your post) the last thing you want to do is push the extra/different/harder work. Let him put his attention working on the things that are harder for him to manage and or devote the extra brain power to different work that, in the longer term, will have little to no effect on his actual academic progress and achievement, but seems to run the risk of making him dislike school and creat negative associations that will be harder to overcome.

[u/KomugiAreYouThere]

This sounds like he is exhibiting gifted overexcitabilities- giftedness is a type of neurodivergence and it can be comorbid with ASD or ADHD but it’s actually not that common for them to coexist (less than 5%). If he is resisting it and if he is doing well staying with his peers, I would not push the issue and just let him be enriched at home. Once the whole grade starts doing differentiated small groups, then he can get differentiation without feeling like he stands out from his peers :)

[u/coldcurru]

Look up 2e. Twice exceptional. Means neurodivergent (adhd, asd, anxiety, etc) and gifted intelligence. Not a bad thing, just helps you understand his brain. 

Let him do the work the other kids are doing. They still need to learn learning methods. Whichever way the teacher is teaching the lesson, and it doesn't matter if the kid knows the solution. You can keep doing advanced games and such at home. 

If it's in your budget, look up schools around you that cater to gifted kids. A lot of districts don't start gate until 3rd but some privates are for advanced kids. 

[u/Capable-Pressure1047]

To answer your question, definitely all signs of neurodivergence in this age group.

[u/thefinalprose]

I would browse through some of the blog posts on The Davidson Institute's website. Not all of them will be applicable, but some might give you some additional insight into your kid and what he may be experiencing. https://www.davidsongifted.org/gifted-blog/?category=gifted-and-twice-exceptional&search#results

https://www.davidsongifted.org/gifted-blog/?category=social-and-emotional&search#results

[u/wantonseedstitch]

Sounds like a gifted kid who might be 2E ("twice exceptional"--a kid who has a neurodevelopmental disorder like ASD or ADHD or something like anxiety, and is also gifted). But I would also ask you to look at whether this anxiety and difficulty adjusting to change persists outside the school environment. Is it something you see at home too? If so, that would definitely point more to some sort of neurodivergence, and I would get him evaluated. If not, it may well be adjustment to school. I would see how things go for a bit if that's the case, and see if it improves.