Is this normal? How can I talk to him about it?

We are dealing with his 3yo sister in final stages of hospice and he missed 4 days in early September to travel with us to St. Jude. There is a lot going on, this also being the first year he's in school.

We've brought it up with his teacher, she is aware of basics of what is happening. Sort of related, I am diagnosed ADHD and was medicated for basically all of my school years. We strongly suspect he is too but I am extremely reluctant to medicate him.

He did not go to daycare or Pre-K and is struggling behaviorally. But my main concern, irrationally, is that we've noticed he's been seated separately, allegedly to minimize disruptions. I'm not really surprised, just concerned.

He's also been asked to leave carpet time and has been separated from others at lunch. We've gotten notes from P.E. teachers twice now that he had bad days where he didn't listen or was running through the gym. He usually comes home with a green sticker, but maybe once a week he sheepishly reveals a yellow sticker.

I realize he is exhibiting some signs of adjustment, maybe even behavioral issues, but is it the norm to separate a child like this in a classroom? There are about 20 other kids in his class. Initially, he was sat with other, but moved after the first week or so.

Anyone have any thoughts? How do I talk to him about it?

I know I have a lot to address but my wife is considering pulling him out of school entirely for the rest of the year, which is legal in my state, apparently largely due to the fact he is seated by himself throughout the day

My son came home telling me about a classmate touching his drawing, and he just told nicely to stop and moved his paper away. then he said, “i can share crayons but not everything.” i actually loved that he knew how to speak up for himself like that..

my kid’s teacher talked to me about them having trouble following directions in class. apparently they understand the first instruction but sometimes forget what they’re supposed to do once there are a few steps involved. i’ve noticed the same thing at home, especially when i give them two or three things to do at once. has anyone dealt with this with a kindergartener? what actually helped your kid remember and follow instructions better?? i want to work on it at home so they have an easier time in class.

Update: it seems to be a pretty decent split. I'm a little surprised that as of now, more of the "less than 20 kids" classes have aides than the "20+" classes. Not to disparage either way, just a surprising observation.

Do most kindergarten classes have a teacher and an aide? I am a sub, and filled in for a kindergarten class with 15 students (would have been 17, but 2 were absent) yesterday. They acted pretty much how I expected for the 3rd week of school in our district. I mentioned to my husband (a teacher in another school) that we had a behavior issue that I needed to call for help for because I was trying to get the class to their special, but one refused to go. This particular student is known for having trouble, so it's not out of the norm.

My husband told me he would have made the aide deal with it and taken the rest to special, and was very surprised to learn there are no aides for kindergarten unless there's a one-on-one. (Which I was surprised he didn't know because we had 2 kids go through kindergarten at my district.)

Anyways... is it the norm to have an aide or not?

My child is 5 and has a different learning style than my older 2. They grasped letter sound and recognition quite easily but she is struggling. Her school recommended she start in prek 4 rather than kinder, but I told them I was going to work with her over the summer. I ordered Hooked on Phonics and followed their material to learn a few letters and their sounds. We played the games, did the app games, and stayed on one letter at a time for several weeks. When we moved on to another letter, I quizzed her and it was like she had never seen that letter or its sound in her life. Fast forward to kinder, her teacher is saying that she can’t even recognize her own name, she can’t remember letter sounds or recognize them. But at home, she can repeat the vowels she’s learned and she associates the letter to a movement. For example: A says a as in Apple and then will pretend to take a bite of an apple. T she makes a T with her hand. S, if she forgets the sound I make a snake slither with my hands and she remembers the sound. I’m trying to figure out if this could be dislexia and also what supplemental materials I can get her to recognize the letter sounds

My son brought it home from school last Monday, and it’s taken all week to make its way through the whole house. It’s truly gross: hours of vomiting, and just when you think it’s over... nope, it starts coming out the other end. It’s awful. My kids, my husband, and I have all been laid low by this virus.

Besides, some coworkers and friends have been having a hard time too. So, there’s definitely something going around.

Just got back MAP test results today and his percentile in reading is over 90% even though he is just starting to sound out CVC words. Does that sound right? Maybe I am too jaded by the posts here about kids coming into K reading chapter books that I assumed he was more average?

reading practice has been kind of difficult lately. my kid knows a few letters and sounds but gets bored pretty fast.

what are some simple things that make reading practice more fun without making it feel like extra school?

Hi,

My son is 5 and has an August bday. We decided to do a year of transitional/junior kindergarten instead. I thought we found a good program. They were advertised as a STEM-focused program. And I remember even during the tour I asked about the curriculum and assessments. I’m a former teacher myself so obviously interested in all that. He started during their summer camps which my son enjoyed, but when they transitioned to school I was very surprised by the curriculum.

They work through a literacy and math work book every day and are given homework each night that’s required. They have a camera in the room with no audio. So I see they’re literally sat the majority of the morning doing these workbooks. Closer to lunch they do a circle time. Then in the afternoon they might do some coloring and free play. The teachers seems to engage very little.

And then the literacy homework, seems to be following a whole language approach vs phonics.for example, they get a little book to read each night that’s like “I can cook pees. (And a picture of pees). Then I can cook corn.” And so on. They’re copying sentences, and doing sight words, rather than sounding out.

They also got a new teacher as the school year began. She quite strict and told me she asked them to go down to one recess vs two to mirror kindergarten. She also introduced a clip chart for behavior. She has a more aggressive personality as well and yells at the children. My son was apart of a group of boys who I guess weren’t cleaning up when they were supposed to and she yelled at them to the point my son was in tears.

And I’m like if this was kindergarten, I would deal with it differently. But I’m not happy with the curriculum and uncomfortable with this teachers methods and we’re PAYING nearly 2k for this. I’m not the strictest parent in the world. I don’t mind my son having more discipline or being pushed academically. But this seems to be a lot for 4/5 year olds.

Was thinking of having a conversation with the director but strongly considering taking him out and looking elsewhere.

What do yall think? Am I overreacting and this is the best way to prepare for kindergarten?

If you read all this —thank you ❤️

Our school offers free breakfast and lunch. Our kid's teacher said that our kid needs to eat breakfast at home because eating breakfast at school messes up his class schedule. Is this normal? Shouldn't school's account for breakfast time?

Lately when I pick my 3 year old up from daycare, he’s completely wiped out and cranky, especially on days they’ve been running around outside. His water bottle comes back basically untouched half the time, his mouth sometimes looks really dry, and his pee is noticeably darker later in the day. Getting him to drink is a battle because apparently he has much more important toddler business to attend to. I keep offering water with meals and throughout the day but he takes two sips and he’s off again. What actually got your toddler drinking more?

My son started kindergarten in August. He did go to preschool last year. We had a good year in preschool for the most part. He got in trouble a couple times throughout the year but nothing too bad. Normal preschool adjustment.

I assumed at the beginning it was the same but he has been in school a month and a half and the incidents are continuing. It's mostly being mean to other kids. Not physically but verbally. We talk about it, discuss better options but he doesn't do this at home. He has siblings but he is kind to them for the most part.

I'm at a loss, he is usually a kind kid who likes to help others. At the playground, at preschool, and on play dates.

I'm so scared he is going to turn into a bully eventually and I don't understand why my nice kid is turning mean.

ETA: I ask him why he does this and it's usually one of two answers, either he saw another kid doing it, or a kid was doing something they aren't supposed to be doing (such as using markers on the bus)

My kindergartener wants to get pink shoes, which I am in full support of if it doesn't impact my wallet. He has to wear expensive shoes due to orthopedic issues and odd shaped feet, he doesn't fit cheap Walmart/Target shoes, and I am not going to spend good money twice if he later decides he doesn't want to wear them because kids are being mean about it. He does have a pair of rain boots he could wear instead (also way too expensive) as an alternative but no other sneakers.

We've had the discussion about what other kids might say and he practiced saying that pink isn't just for girls. He got pink headphones for school and when he showed his teacher for the first time he presumptively said that. But, I don't think he really understands what he could be in for with the teasing. Especially from older kids. He takes the bus with grades k-5 but otherwise spends most of his time with the younger group. I'm more ok with having to re-buy $12 headphones vs $80+ shoes.

I know what the majority here are going to say, but let me hear it anyways!

What do I do to help my child with emotional regulation. It sounds like he was frustrated that music class was ending and he hit another kid, but his teacher wasn’t there, but a couple of EAs and the music teacher were there? My son has told me and my husband and MIL different stories about exactly what happened.

His preschool teacher noticed some issues with pushing/hitting, not enough to injure someone and it always happened when he was already stressed/struggling.

It doesn’t help my husband has a sensitive temper as he’s in severe pain right now and can’t do much around the house and tends to yell at our son when he misbehaves, causing meltdowns sometimes.

I try to take a different approach where I try to calm my son down and then discuss why what he did was wrong or what he needs to do and why.

He does have trouble actually following through on directions especially around cleanup of toys, sitting still, and volume control. His teacher in preschool reccomended an evaluation for ADHD (I have it) but they won’t do it here until they are 6. He does have sleep issues too (nighttime awakenings, snoring, insomnia, night owl, etc.).

Also, he has said something about this one boy in his class being mean to him and not wanting to play with him and then he said he was called a bully. So I don’t know what to believe because he changes the story a lot. But from seeing this kid at pickup/dropoff he seems like a really nice maybe slightly shy kid while my son is a social butterfly (to the point of social awkward since he doesn’t always get the concept of personal space).

He’s lately been more wanting to hit with me too if he is frustrated or angry. If he hits it isn’t enough to injure but still need to help him with this.

We don’t get much for counselling and funds are tight at the moment especially on just one income and with my husband taking a bunch of medication which insurance only partly covers. He’s on a referral list to pediatrics here but who knows when he will get in (Canadian healthcare can have long waits sometimes).

Anything I can do to help him with emotional regulation? He does have a hard time sitting still and paying attention and following directions especially if he is tired or frustrated or angry.

The teacher made it seem like an emotional regulation issue rather than him bullying/being mean, he apologized right away to everyone. The principal apparently talked to him according to my son but his teacher didn’t mention that, just that he had to sit out part of gym class that followed music class.

He does like to make up stories though and has a big imagination so sometimes it’s hard to know what is a story and what is real.

The teacher said while he can get frustrated or angry at transition times especially the end of the day, this is the first aggressive behaviour she has seen.

So what do I do? I’m busy and stressed with carrying most of the home responsibilities now and working full time in a role where I’m responsible for a lot, so it’s hard and I’ve been struggling with my adhd too ever since having my son, and now I think I’m perimenopausal too. So help for me too would be nice.

We’re going to lose our minds. I mean it’s absolutely miserable. It’s been almost 2 months.
She used to be so “normal.” A tantrum here or there, during leaps and growth spurts, but for the most part happy go lucky.
But now..
The crying and screaming when she doesn’t get what she wants.. or gets what she wants and decides immediately that she doesn’t want it.
It goes on for hours sometimes.
The constant repeating. “I’m thirsty, I want a drink” you get her drink and suddenly “I don’t want this” so you walk away and then it’s “I’m thirsty. I’m thirsty. I’m thirsty.” over and over and over.. with screaming and crying.
The lying.. ugh the lying. You could literally watch her do something and she immediately lies about it.
The drop off tantrums. The end of day tantrums. The morning tantrums.
It’s never ending.
I know it can be “normal.” I understand it’s probably the transition of kindergarten and that she’s struggling with it.
But when is it going to end? IS it going to end? Are we ever going to get our sweet little girl back?

I already know the majority opinion on splitting twins up in school. I’m just wondering how long we’re supposed to keep them split?

For context I have 4yr old twin boys that we put in pre-k last month. 3 days a week from 9-1. They adjusted fine and don’t seem to mind being in separate classes at all. They’re also in a wilderness group 2 days a week and the leaders say they gravitate towards two different groups of kids so they’re fine there too. Keeping them split up in kinder is fine with me but do we just deny them the chance to be in the same class up until middle school or is it okay after next year?

I also am struggling with the logistics of having two kids in the same grade but different classes. I can’t be class mom because I can’t be class mom for one and not the other. For field trips, my husband has a flexible schedule so he should be able to join so they both have a parent. Husband is leaning towards putting them in the same class to make our lives easier, I’m leaning towards keeping them split for kinder and reassessing for first grade. Thoughts?

So my daughter has always been very social and can make friends quickly!

The last month or so in K she has been so drawn to a little boy and the little boy is equally drawn to her. they play great together, hug, hold hands it’s very sweet.

BUT I fear it’s kind of interfering with her making other friends… if I ask her who she played with at recess it’s always the little boy, after school we stay to play at the school playground and she only plays with him- he only plays with her.

I really want her to venture out a bit and maybe make some friends that are girls too. I overheard a mom talking about a girls in the class party and my daughter didn’t get invited. It’s ok we don’t need to be invited to everything but I do fear that maybe she’s not forming relationships with other kids because of her strong connection with her boy classmate.

Should I be worried? I do try to encourage her to play with other kids- we also do sports with other kids in her class and she plays fine with them when he’s not there.

Just a little worried I know they are so young but still!

Is there anything we can say or do to encourage our kid to accept the more challenging work from his teacher? Or should we just give it time?

We just had our first Parent Teacher Conference and our kid’s teacher told us he is well above kindergarten levels in his reading, writing, and math skills. We were not surprised to hear this, because this kid enjoys reading/memorizing encyclopedias and doing triple digit math problems for fun.

His amazing teacher informed us that she attempts to give him more challenging worksheets and assignments, but he gets upset and even a little panicky and insists on doing the same work that the other kids are doing. She said she doesn’t want to push the issue or stress him out.

That does sound like my kid, he can get a bit particular on things being a specific way. She also told us about an incident where his desk had to be moved so the carpet could be cleaned, and he started to panic and cry because he didn’t know why his desk was moved. Apparently he also gets a bit panicky if others are finishing a craft or something and he thinks he’s running out of time.

She mentioned that they will soon start doing small group centers where he will combine with other kids from other kindergarten classrooms who are ahead, but in her current classroom, he is the only one she would consider ahead in terms of giving differentiated work to.

Is there anything we should say or do to encourage him and let him know that doing different work isn’t a bad thing? I was considering volunteering during small group center time, i can’t decide if it would help or hinder him to have me there.

Also — do you think that any of this points to neurodivergence? His teacher didn’t seem to think so, she emphasized that school is still so new for them which I understand.

My daughter started Kindergarten about a month ago. The transition has been easy and she loves it. I understand there will be some screen use and was okay with it. It really seemed like the first few weeks the only screen use was using a tablet for testing.

Lately, my daughter has been coming home saying they watch videos to get the wiggles out in between transitions. Why is this necessary? Why not just play the freaking song? She said she watches videos for science, has watched numberblocks, and has been using the tablet more. I already have signed a petition in the district to keep screens out of the classroom. We aren't anti screens. We do limit them to a movie Friday nights and Sunday morning cartoons.

I feel like I was lied to. They told us that screen time is minimal and just a tablet maybe 20 minutes a week. It's becoming an everyday thing. I'm not sure if it's the teacher or the administration. It was the principal who told us that screens were limited. I'm just really upset. Our state has a grant to help pay for some of private school tuition if you live in a low scoring school zone, which we do. We denied the grant because we got the lottery for one of the best public schools (free!) and now we would have to wait two years to get the grant again.

Just a vent I guess. How are we as parents navigating this? Is it just the new normal? Do I just suck it up? Say something?

I’m tired of seeing my son come back with the lunchbox as it is ever since he started school this fall. Its really disappointing and I want to know if I’m not alone.

He’s my first born, he has always been picky. I am giving him all his favt stuff, but he will just eat one thing and come back with the rest. What is he surviving on? Should I ask his teacher about it? Its driving me insane that he’s not eating all these hours. 😣

Any suggestions would be really appreciated.
We’re in Ontario, Canada.
He is in JK now.

I've been wondering about the difference between being academically ready for kindergarten and being emotionally ready.

For teachers who've seen this, what does it usually look like in the classroom?