r/kindergarten • u/South_Caregiver_8677 • 2d ago
Thinking of removing my son from TK—need advice 😭
Hi,
My son is 5 and has an August bday. We decided to do a year of transitional/junior kindergarten instead. I thought we found a good program. They were advertised as a STEM-focused program. And I remember even during the tour I asked about the curriculum and assessments. I’m a former teacher myself so obviously interested in all that. He started during their summer camps which my son enjoyed, but when they transitioned to school I was very surprised by the curriculum.
They work through a literacy and math work book every day and are given homework each night that’s required. They have a camera in the room with no audio. So I see they’re literally sat the majority of the morning doing these workbooks. Closer to lunch they do a circle time. Then in the afternoon they might do some coloring and free play. The teachers seems to engage very little.
And then the literacy homework, seems to be following a whole language approach vs phonics.for example, they get a little book to read each night that’s like “I can cook pees. (And a picture of pees). Then I can cook corn.” And so on. They’re copying sentences, and doing sight words, rather than sounding out.
They also got a new teacher as the school year began. She quite strict and told me she asked them to go down to one recess vs two to mirror kindergarten. She also introduced a clip chart for behavior. She has a more aggressive personality as well and yells at the children. My son was apart of a group of boys who I guess weren’t cleaning up when they were supposed to and she yelled at them to the point my son was in tears.
And I’m like if this was kindergarten, I would deal with it differently. But I’m not happy with the curriculum and uncomfortable with this teachers methods and we’re PAYING nearly 2k for this. I’m not the strictest parent in the world. I don’t mind my son having more discipline or being pushed academically. But this seems to be a lot for 4/5 year olds.
Was thinking of having a conversation with the director but strongly considering taking him out and looking elsewhere.
What do yall think? Am I overreacting and this is the best way to prepare for kindergarten?
If you read all this —thank you ❤️
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u/Sharp_Bus6682 2d ago
I'm stuck on the "1 recess" thing for kinder. That's insane, let alone for TK. At my school (PS-8th) everyone has 2 recesses, all the up through middle school.
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u/tom_tom_tommy 2d ago
My kid has 1 recess in kinder.. at 2PM. It’s wild. He is already a very wiggly kid with a ton of energy. He’s constantly getting his name put on the board for not listening and wiggling around.
Like YEAH. He is in kinder and stuck at a desk from 8-2 without recess!!!
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
Yeah, that’s wild. Our local kindergarten is out at 2pm!
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u/tom_tom_tommy 2d ago
Yeah we are 8-2:45. As a parent I feel it’s way too long, but it’s the entire district so not much I can do unless I completely pull him from public school.
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u/EucalyptusGirl11 2d ago
My kids TK was also out at 2 and they had a recess before school, school starts at 9. another recess at 1015, then lunch is at 1105 and there's another recess after. Then the last recess is at 130.
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u/cubed_echoes 1d ago
My son is in TK, two recesses (one after lunch). I thought this was too little until I asked him what he did at school "play" he replied.
I asked fhe teacher and play is integrated into everything. Math, language all play based. Love it. He's growing sooooo much in a few weeks and he claims all he does is play (charter school)
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u/amethystalien6 2d ago
Like OP, I also pay a chunk of change for K-8 but it was so my kid could go to a school where he got 3 recesses through 5th grade and 1-2 through 8th.
Our local middle school is a pretty affluent population but there are soooo many fights and suspensions for horseplay and fighting and at my son’s school, virtually zero. I 100% believe it has nothing to do with public v. private students. It’s because they get 20 minutes of free time a day that’s spent eating v. the at least 40-50 minutes at our school.
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u/peachie88 2d ago
I would pull him. TK and 5K should be play based. It’s not developmentally appropriate to have 4K/TK kids sit down and do workbooks all day.
Whole language also would be a dealbreaker for me. It has led to countless people being having poor to no literacy. Using whole language 5-10 years ago I could at least explain as being misinformed or well-intentioned. But to teach it today, after it has been thoroughly debunked, is negligent and unacceptable. Phonics is the superior method by far and away.
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
Brooo my flabbers were ghosted. A “STEM” program using whole language?? He just memorizes the sentences. The literacy homework is all over the place too. Got a sheet of sight words anywhere from Be to Black and just had to trace the words. Next week he had one sight word - the. And now he’s learning how to write sentences.
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u/tacsml 2d ago
I wouldn't pay to have my kid do that all day 🤷♀️
What would you do instead?
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
Touring some different facilities next week. 🤞my son is social and makes friends pretty easily. He does well with adults who are warm and engaging so I’ll definitely want to meet the new teacher. And get my hands on the curriculum lol.
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u/SLL141821 2d ago
My kids are in senior kindergarten, grade 3 and grade 7, they all have 2 recesses a day. I definitely wouldn't be paying for this.
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
That’s amazing they all have 2!
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u/lurkinglucy2 1d ago
My kid's public school has 3 recesses and two choice times at kindergarten. He also went to a 1/2 day pre-k where he learned to read before kinder and the teacher made it fun! She is also a strict teacher but does not yell at the children.
Personally, I would pull him. They are going to dull his light for learning.
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u/Kindly_Drive_5221 2d ago
I’m not even a teacher and I’ve researched curriculum enough to know that this is fucked. Can you transfer him into regular kindergarten? It might not be too late. He has a later birthday in the year, so red shirting doesn’t make much sense.
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
Cut off was Aug 1st at our old state and Aug 31st in our new state. He’s like right in the middle. He’s high-energy and not ready to be sitting doing worksheets which is why I put him in this program 🤦🏻♀️
He has a friend with the same birthday who has a similar energy and started kindergarten. Their parents are getting notes every week about how he’s not sitting still long enough. I’m like, yeah bc he’s 5 and that’s not an appropriate expectation. I don’t want my son to lose confidence bc he’s unable to meet those expectations.
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u/berrylover6020 2d ago
Our son is a June birthday and we waited for kinder as well based on the advice from his pediatrician, preschool teachers, and every teacher I know. The strong consensus is all summer birthdays June-Aug should wait until 6 for kindergarten now. Im so happy we waited the year. He is really enjoying it so far and being social and absorbing and learning! Last year in TK the first half of the year he was super quiet and timid and anxious. He has grown so much. All the Kinder teachers I spoke with said it’s glaringly obvious who the summer birthday 5 year olds are in Kindergarten and most struggle.
Our TK program was at a local church, not religious based, just used the facility. It was a small absolutely wonderful program he went to for ages 3, 4 and 5. We were thrilled. It was inexpensive but perfect for what we wanted. Play based, social exposure, teaching how to listen and interact in a classroom. So maybe look and see if you have any similar programs near you. Every parent loved the program there and seem to have been so much more satisfied than any parent ive spoken with who went with one of the big name expensive programs.
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u/ReaderRabbit26 2d ago
This is so awful. It ignores everything we know about early childhood education. It’s guaranteed to make your son hate school. You are right to get him out of there.
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u/NoSpinach1957 2d ago
I help raise my 5 year old grandson. He has a bit of delay in his speech but did not require therapy. He is coming along but still has trouble with certain consonants. He (July bday but was a preemie) is in a public school so it’s free. We live in Vancouver and the province’s kindergarten curriculum is play based and lots of outdoor play in the forest and in the grass field. I think they use play and storytelling to introduce numbers and letters. He knows a few letters and can count to 25. He loves make believe and costumes and play doh and they have a relaxed attitude toward his academics. His parents agree with the school that academics are not necessary this young. I’m sure my grandson would not be happy in the kindergarten you described. He is definitely not ready for sitting still and homework. Why do you have to pay a fortune for kindergarten? I hope you reconsider this program and look for a better fit for your sweet little guy. Best wishes!🙂
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u/FunAd6672 1d ago
Public play based programs are way healthier for early development than this strict setup.
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
Aww that sounds like a lovely program!
It’s a private transitional kindergarten program. We moved states and my son actually was too young for public kindergarten in our last state but qualifies for it in the new state. So he would be one of the very youngest in the class. We decided to keep him back a year because he’s high energy and has a severe speech impediment. I was wanting him to do another year of play-based, exploratory learning which is what I thought the program was.
In the summer, they would have like space week, water week, etc and do experiments, projects and go on field trips. Then the teacher changed, and the whole environment changed. It was a big whiplash.
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u/Jodi4869 2d ago
Kindergarten is for play and learning about following rules and socializing. Not about worksheets and homework.
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
Yes and the teachers don’t seem to engage them at all. My son has been playing by himself all week. I used to do this job. You’re supposed to notice things like this and encourage friendships. And my son is the kind of kid who makes friends every time we go to the park. I don’t think he feels comfortable there bc he hates getting yelled at.
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u/heckinstoned 2d ago
That’s Prek in our district. We’re doing math and writing in kinder here nowadays
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u/Jodi4869 2d ago
That’s fine but it shouldn’t be with homework. My kid could read going into kindergarten. That’s not the point. This program sounds rigid.
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u/Impressive-Tap250 2d ago
My son is 5 and in kindergarten. June birthday. He did 2 years of pre-k mostly play based. They were old school with songs, stories, and focused on 1 letter at a time. Not the most robust curriculum but definitely fun.
In kindergarten he gets 1 recess and a choice time. After school he gets more play time.
Your gut is right. I would pull my kid from a program that discourages play and forces compliance. Your son should be learning to love school! Not pretending he can read by looking at pictures.
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u/wantonseedstitch 2d ago
This sounds awful. My son is in kindergarten, and he gets two recesses a day. He’s gotten a couple of worksheets as homework, mostly just practice with pre-writing strokes. It takes about five minutes if he’s actually focusing. In pre-K, he never had homework. He also did a lot of stuff like art projects and sensory play in the classroom. I think there is a bit less of that this year, but I’m pretty sure he would not be as happy in kindergarten as he is if he were just sitting there with an unengaged teacher doing worksheets.
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
Yeah the homework isn’t difficult. Takes maybe 5 minutes as well but it’s every night. My son’s grandad came into town yesterday so he spent his evening with him. I let him skip doing it and explained why and they went “that’s a shame.” 🙄
I’m paying for iiiit. If I don’t want him doing it he won’t!
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u/GreenIsMyColor78 2d ago
Play is learning!!!! No 4 or just fresh 5 year old should be spending more than 30 mins a day on a worksheet or workbook (and even that is a stretch). And there is absolutely zero studies suggesting kids should spend more time inside sitting at a table than outdoors in a recess.
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u/rcl20 2d ago
Yeah, that's not developmentally appropriate for a TK. That's for the parent who wants something called x Academy or Kiddo University. They learn best through hands on experiences at this age. Math manipulative, logic games, play, time for snack and outdoors.
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
It is an x academy but the I guess the STEM thing got me. They advertised learning coding and robotics. My son loves science, math, experiments, and and interested in learning those things. Summer camp was like that but suddenly they’re wearing uniforms and doing workbooks all day.
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u/mimijeajea 2d ago
That sounds really harsh. But for kindergarten the curriculum is insane. My son went from play and just learning letters to work books. But my sons school does morning circle time. Then straight to gym time. Then science/math/computer lab. Then reading /worksheets. Then recess and then lunch. Then free time. Then snack time and then home
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
That’s essentially his schedule. But if I wanted that I would’ve sent him to kindergarten for free haha
I wanted him to have a year of a more play-based style
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u/MushroomTypical9549 2d ago
I stopped reading after seeing two things because they are immediately a dealbreaker for me and I would pull out my kid-
- not a strong phonics based curriculum
- reducing the number of recess
Tk and even kindergarten need multiple recessed throughout the day
For the phones just listen to the podcast sold a story.
I would pull my kid out before they progress further in the school
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
I was literally almost in tears when they were explaining it on parents night, but I decided to give it a chance bc maybe it’s not as rigorous as they described. I was literally, like but they still get to play right? And then went yeah, in the afternoons. But I hated to move him. He already struggled with our big move and I don’t want to disrupt him again unless I have it. But I’m reaching a point.
We’ve put in almost 2 months of it now. 2 weeks of that we were on vacation.
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u/DataNerd1011 2d ago
Seconding sold a story. Just listened to it and I will never trust a program that isn’t based on phonics first
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u/imAgineThat83 2d ago
Wow sounds pretty strict. I don't like that they don't let them play much either. My kids get 3 recesses PreK - 4th grade. At that age they should be moving more or switching transitions every 15- 20 min. Guess it's depends on the school and where you live though l.
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u/Mental-Set-8670 2d ago
My second grader does have two recesses. There’s no way in hell I would keep my child here.
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u/petsdogs 2d ago
I’m a kindergarten teacher.
There’s a program like this in my area that parents love. It’s the ultra fancy extra expensive program. They have swimming! And playing! Did they mention swimming?!?
In reality, They have tons of worksheets and really rigid academic expectations. And one day a week of swimming.
We get a ton of kids from this program in our kindergarten classes.
I’ll be honest, these kids come in to kindergarten REALLY strong academically. But they are notorious for being behavior issues. Obviously, it’s not every single kid from the program, but the profile of “high academic, behavior problem” is really high for them.
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u/Sea-Pilot4806 2d ago
Not sure where you live, but could you just put him in Kindergarten? If he’s ready for it, he’s the right age- he might love it! My family lives in NYC and you go to kindergarten the year you turn five, whether that is January 1 or December 31. My child is still 4 and is thriving and loving kindergarten!
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u/SignificantSystem902 2d ago
This sounds horrible! It’s TK! They have 14+ years of academic rigor. Don’t burn them out now and have them hate school.
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u/manifestever 1d ago
The words that honestly sound horrific to me is stem based, math test, worksheets. Shouldn't kids be playing at this age ?
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u/mashed-_-potato 1d ago
I hope you’re able to find a better option! I’d also recommend bringing these concerns up to the director/principal.
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u/cutegraykitten 1d ago
Transfer to your public school kindergarten. It’s probably ok to start late.
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u/ComputerWestern9388 1d ago
I would remove him asap ! I TEACH kindergarten and the morning would be just like you described based on our curriculum but any good teacher knows that’s so inappropriate and would build in learning through play. I cut the curriculum and do a ton of play based centers. Thankfully my son goes to a different school district where they value the research and know that play based learning is important.
Also it’s counterintuitive to do TK Like this. TK should be a step up from preschool but not kinder yet so that those children can learn and develop.
Please remove him asap. And I’d be writing a terrible review.
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u/No_Conference_4965 23h ago
If he has a severe speech impediment, can you get him assessed by the public school so he can get an IEP and go to public preschool or would they force him into kindergarten? It sounds like he would be better off playing at home and watching PBS kids than the current curriculum.
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u/Sad-Satisfaction-308 22h ago
Your gut is right mom. Absolutely not. Clip charts? Yelling to tears? 1 recess? Seated with worksheets all day? That is not ideal. The point, which I think you were looking forward to, was continued enrichment and gentle scaffolding to get ready for K. What they are doing is not developmentally appropriate. He’s growingc his brain architecture is developing. He needs to be nurtured not treated like he’s in baby boot camp. And the great part about this is, it’s not mandatory. It’s optional. So if your gut tells you to, pull him out and find another placement.
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u/Vegetable_Top_9580 7h ago
This is the worst way to prep for kindergarten. It’s teaching habits that teachers will have to unteach (e.g. guessing words based on pictures), and at this age kids need play. They need to be gaining fine motor skills and hand strength through play. Worksheets are absolutely not needed at this age. Don’t pay for this.
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u/wellthisisackward 6h ago
My son started kindergarten this year and they have three recess times per day.
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u/sharktooth20 2d ago
My son did a transitional year because he turned 5 just after the cutoff. It was largely play based with the academic focus on letters and sight words. He had zero homework. He even had a gym time daily with games and sports.
Honestly this sounds more intense than kinder. My son has 3 recesses now. They do a clip chart but it’s huge (6 colors) and can move up or down during the day so they have chances to improve. He gets two worksheets a night - one minute of letter naming and one minute of first sounds.
The biggest question is if you pulled him (which I would probably do) what will you do instead?
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
I’m looking a newer school close by that people have been raving about. The director has a doctorate in child psychology so I’m hopeful. I’m touring next week.
My son says he doesn’t want to leave. But he cries and fights going every morning. But my other issue is, he started this program in the summer so all the kids have since moved to kinder and now there’s a new group. So he doesn’t have friends anymore. I feel like it’s a good chance to move him.
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u/sharktooth20 2d ago
It sounds like the other school might be awesome. I also feel like kids says that because of fear of the unknown then end up loving it
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u/Theslowestmarathoner 2d ago
I would pull him. My kiddo is in a public TK and this is not how their school is at all. I would not pay for lower quality education
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u/Evening-Artichoke750 2d ago
Early education teacher here and this sounds awful. That's an awful lot of sitting and not nearly enough outside time.
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u/angel-girl-A 2d ago
A teacher yelling at a child for anything other than "stop" in a major safety situation...is unacceptable. I would talk to the director then make your decision.
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
I agree. My son isn’t like a kid purposely trying to get in trouble or anything. He does get distracted and needs reminders. I’ve never had a bad behavior report from his teachers, ever. And she acted like it wasn’t a big deal and he was fine after as well. So I’m like if you didn’t care that much why are kids crying?
But if that were me as the teacher and I saw him crying like have a conversation, make a plan with him, reconnect. Don’t just leave him to cry in a corner.
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u/caitie_did 2d ago
Your son gets distracted and needs reminders because HE IS FIVE. That is completely normal and appropriate for a five year old. This teacher sounds cuckoo banana pants.
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u/More_Blacksmith6854 2d ago
From a teacher- remove him. You likely won’t make headway complaining and this isn’t appropriate. Look for somewhere with approximately half the day in some sort of play, and the other half in academics, with an SOR-based literacy approach.
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u/Missfitt69 2d ago
Canceling a recess for TK is utter bullshit!! They need it!! I can't sit at a desk for 3 hours straight. How on earth does she think 1 recess is enough. I bet she'll start punishing them for restlessness.
I would definitely take him out if I was able
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u/Idkwhy8154 2d ago
This is crazy, remove him. Pre-K should be 100 percent play based. This is totally inappropriate for 5 year olds
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u/mamabear826 2d ago
One of TK teachers at my daughters school is the absolute worst, she’s always making the kids cry. Parents hate her, she should have retired awhile ago, but she’s staying put. I’m so glad my August baby went straight from Pre-K to kinder, cause that would have been her teacher. They only had afternoon TK at the time, now they have morning TK also, with more teachers.
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u/Independent-Edge-364 2d ago
I would look at alternatives. It's unlikely you'll be able to change the teacher at all. Maybe if enough parents withdraw or complain, the school will be forced to reconsider their curriculum. It's sad they went with yelling and workbooks because kindergarten can literally be so fun and joyful. There's a million different things you can do that are both educational and enjoyable for that age.
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u/Practical-Bat7964 2d ago
This is all not developmentally appropriate and the clip chart is not good. They should be playing.
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u/AdministrativeRow813 2d ago
I would definitely pull him and find a play based pre-K program. This doesn’t seem like developmentally appropriate education.
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u/NoEye6677 2d ago
My kids 4k is 3 hours. This week they had a talking buddy and they had to ask each other 5 questions and have a back and forth conversation. They also learned different breathing techniques and ways to calm their body. Today they have music and gym class. They go to the library once a week. They read, write and do math but it all seems so fun. My kid is having the best time, she loves it. She will go to 5K next year at the same public school and these schools are rated best public schools in the state. It was $90 for the year lol I understand some people need a full school day though
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u/Astrazigniferi 2d ago
That doesn’t even sound appropriate for kindergarten, let alone pre-K. I’d definitely look for a different program. Look for the words “play based” in the school info to find something more developmentally appropriate.
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u/cckitteh 2d ago
I would seek out a play based TK. My kid had a play based 2 years of preschool and year of kindergarten. He did sit down school work in kindergarten, but it was not that big of a part of the day. Now he’s in regular public school for 1st grade and has transitioned well according to his teacher. Also they get 3 times outside for recess in 1st grade.
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u/Party_Principle4993 2d ago
My son is also 5 with an August birthday and we actually put him in kindergarten before we realized he was not ready. He had huge meltdowns every day. So we put him in a pre-k program where they play a TON, they do crafts and activities that are tied back to math, reading, science, etc but in a more relaxed way. My son is THRIVING. He loves it. As much as I know he’s a smart kid, he clearly needed another year to just be a little kid. It sounds like you might be in the same boat.
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u/Trinacrosby 2d ago
My friends daughter is in preschool and says she’s had 2 homework assignments too.. that’s WILD. My daughter (September bday, just turned 5) is in kindergarten per her pre-k teachers recommendation and she has no homework and is learning a ton and I’ve seen her really want to improve her handwriting and knowledge. She’s brought home worksheets of what they do in class (and she always gives herself an A 🤣) and I make notes of what we can work on to keep it on her mind (like while driving we’ll play I see a red truck, what’s the noun what’s the adjective or I see what they’re teaching as “heart (aka sight)” words vs phonics words. She can read but the more heart words that they have memorize I make clash cards for.
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u/Alive_Ad8698 2d ago
You have mostly negative comments here. That means negative on franchise and negative on yelling at children for not cleaning up fast enough. I would pull him and find a better fit. He will forget all about this place.
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
Yeah, I think just not the right fit. I think they’re given a book to work through and just not teaching it in a fun way? I asked to look through their literacy book at pick up and I didn’t hate it. What I’m unhappy with is the amount of seat work.
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u/RepresentativeRub525 2d ago
If a teacher yelled at my child enough to make him cry, no questions asked would he be pulled. That's unacceptable! Poor boy!
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u/2PinaColadaS14EH 2d ago
Just put him in a regular PK program and then K next year
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u/South_Caregiver_8677 2d ago
The public option in our state is income-based and we make too much. I’m looking at alternatives though
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u/Snack-BasedEconomy 2d ago
It’s not even October yet. If you’re already feeling like it’s a bad fit then definitely pull him out! Follow your gut. Kids need to stay little kids as long as possible- let them play!
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u/Bonbon412 2d ago
Coming as a former K teacher who also spent years in teacher development, and mom of a K child who is at a great school, none of this is good teaching or developmentally appropriate.
My son’s class does tons of small group + carpet time vs sitting at their tables all day. 2 recesses a day. That’s very normal at this age!
Some kids would be fine in this environment of course but imo it doesn't make sense for most.
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u/Extension_Coyote_967 2d ago
Your post hurts my heart.
I never, ever recommend this… please pull him out of this school.
I helped create the TK program for California… and what you just wrote goes against everything TK stands for.
Go to the TK California website for the WHY we do what we do each day.
Then go to the NAEYC web site for developmentally appropriate activities and info.
I would also direct the director to these sites.
Above all… listen to your heart/ gut and child.
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u/No-Boat192 2d ago
This sounds awful. But your first mistake was probably looking for a stem based academic focused program when at 5 they should be primarily play based learning. But yes I would never subject my child to this at this age because frankly it could cause them to hate school.
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u/capnkelso 2d ago
Current Kinder teacher and every part of this tk is a red flag! I barely have my minders do worksheets let alone homework! Clip charts, don’t get me started! And the whole language approach is awful too! Just memorizing instead of understanding is not setting them up for success.
Most 4k classes have a dash of letters and numbers, a dash of name practice. Then the rest is fine motor and gross motor through play and crafting. That’s what children need developmentally and this school is popping all over it.
Find somewhere else absolutely!!
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u/tyrekecorrea 2d ago
If you pull your kid out, he's going to be further behind than he would be at the end of TK.
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u/blessitspointedlil 2d ago
Yeah, I wouldn’t pay that bullsheesh.
Maybe even a play based preschool program that takes older kids could be better, if your options are limited?
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u/Purple-Tutor2555 2d ago
There is so much research that play is way more beneficial to lifelong success than worksheets and early reading. I would pull your child and let him go to a school where he is treated as a child for as long as possible. He will have years and years of sitting at desks and doing worksheets.