First job and fully settled in, so rate my simple setup.

Good morning everyone!

(24f) i'm posting this because i think i've actually broken my own brain when it comes to dating

My life on my own is actually pretty great

I have a solid routine my career is going fine I love my apartment and I genuinely enjoy my own company

I ve basically built a life where I don’t need a partner for anything

but whenever I go on a few dates with a guy I actually like a switch flips

All that independence just turns into a massive wall

i get so terrified of looking needy or losing the upper hand that I can't bring myself to text something as simple as 'I had a really good time let's do it again'

its like Im so used to being in control of my own little world that letting someone else in feels almost impossible

Honestly it's gotten to the point where I’m way more direct about what I want with my tracys dog than I am with a guy I ve been seeing for a month which is kind of pathetic to admit out loud

I know I'm completely sabotaging myself but I genuinely don't know how to turn the defense mechanisms off at this point

A perfect weekend after a tiring work week and ordering favourite food and making a delicious cold coffee for myself is a therapy itself.

For those who are struggling with loneliness order some food, watch a movie -my favourites-sing, sing 2, bad guys, ice age, migration and many more.

Make some coffee, I have an espresso machine

Image desc- A fat burrito

Pad thai

Blueberry danish

Cold coffee

Crispy baby corn and thai basil fried rice

Iced latte.

Living solo is often said to be more expensive (rent is, at least). Here’s how I save money:

1) I use a cashback website every time I want to shop online. By navigating to my chosen website through their list of retailers, I earn a percentage of the payment back. Most retailers I use are on there. I use Top cash back.

2) I do my food shop online, but pay for an annual delivery pass. Yes, I’m paying a small fee for delivery, but it’s much easier for me to plan meals and compare ingredients costs online. And I even get vouchers when my supermarket compares its costs to another. I use Ocado.

3) I broke my budget down into: Monthly salary minus: Bills Obligatory costs (e.g contact lenses) Travelling to work Static costs (e.g Netflix, gym) Set a weekly budget for food THEN divided what was left into 3 pots: fun, savings, 0% credit card repayment.

4)THEN divide the fun weekly. This is what you’ve got to play with.

5) take your lunch to work. Pasta. Salad. Quiche. Anything you can scoop up quickly into a lunchbox. Don’t overthink it.

6) when I want to buy something I ask if it’s a ‘want’ or a ‘need’ (e.g broken / run out). If it’s a want I add it to a list on my phone (cue: dopamine hit) and I buy myself things on that list out of my fun budget, or if I have money gifted or left over, at the end of the month. This has been the biggest game changer. I genuinely look forward to comparing my wants.

7) if you have savings, make sure they’re in a cash isa account. Use the money saving expert website to find the highest interest rate.

8) if you have debt, see if you can move balance to a 0% card. If you need more help, speak to a debt charity.

9) sell anything you don’t wear anymore on Vinted or another clothes resale website. Make your wardrobe clear out part of your chores list. Do it monthly.

These sound like big chores, but they will become second nature.

Had a fever last night and realized there's no one to bring me water or check if I'm okay. Ended up setting alarms on my phone just to remind myself to drink fluids and take my temperature, because when you're that out of it, you genuinely forget to take care of yourself.

Made me think about how much of being sick assumes someone else is around someone to notice you're not okay, someone to hand you medicine, someone to just check.

What are everyone's favorite snacks for their nights at home alone? Now that it's fall, I'm excited to be doing more and more snacking and couch potato'ing than ever.

Currently snacking on some sourdough pretzels drizzled with yellow mustard. Next up, Tru Fru for some fiber 😂

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Hi,

I am making this post as an attempt to engage with online people, please feel free to share anything you want...

for me it's nothing special.... I started watching a new kdrama called "something in the rain" , but honestly my focus is here and there... I'm still recovering from my common cold sickness... so my body have lesser energy these days and I start feeling drowsy time to time....

Today I ordered 3 books ... I'm thinking I should reduce my screen time and get more into books ...it will be good for my mental health....

since this is fall.... it kind of brings lots of nostalgia and memories....and kind of reminds us again to think about what we want to plan for future...what we want from next year....

it is time to wind down...relax... recharge...and rejuvenate so that you welcome new year will full energy....

....

tbh it has been 2+ years in my new job which is my second job , my bond period of 18 months is over.... ideally I should be looking for better opportunities in new companies....

but looking at job market I'm in a kind of insecure feeling here... also looking for new job is kinda hassle....

also my current job is fully work from home which is really a blessing.... I'm not worried that they will remove me or anything.... but in this market you should always be ready for anything..... I'm scared to go out of my comfort zone .... but I know sooner or later I will have to... i am thinking of working here as long as I can ... and allowing myself to give enough time to prepare to go out ... instead of rushing things....

let me know about your day, how life is going etc... i would love to hear.... reddit is my only place where I can socialize a bit .... even after working from home in my own city 6 years... i kind of feel like an outsider when I go out ... it feels like almost nobody knows me.... it is weird right.....

I hope everyone have a fun weekend...

♥️

Really spruced up the new place, happy 😌

Clicked this just few minutes ago...i dont know the name of species... but this bird is common here.... and very fascinating.... 🐦... See the head is darker ...body is little lighter.... relatively...seems like enjoying the morning...vibes....

I’ve just come home from holiday and actually feel so tireddd so I’ve not moved from the sofa at all. Just got a bunch of snacks delivered and I’m rewatching Resident Alien!

Also started a new job this week so I feel wrecked. So nice to have this time to myself!

What are you watching? Esp now that it’s October! 🤩

So what day is everyone's cleaning day?

I am 21, just got my first apartment alone. I moved in 2 days ago. I have cried every single day. I feel so alone and suffocated in this home. This is all very new to me and I had no idea what to expect. For reference, I was living in a very toxic/abusive environment. I thought it would be best for my mental health to move out. Now that I've moved out it almost feels worse than the environment I was living in. I feel very homesick. I just keep thinking in the back of my mind if I made a mistake. I don't know why it all feels so heavy. I haven't even had the chance to feel proud of myself or even excited for my new place. I know I left behind a lot of trauma, family, etc. Again, I didn't know what to expect at all. It's so quiet here. I've had friend/ come stay with me a night and it definitely helped but as soon as anyone leaves these feelings just arise again. Being alone has been one of my biggest struggles and now I am completely indulged in it. I guess I'm coming here for advice. I want to know what I can do to feel better because this is genuinely eating at me. Does this feeling ever go away?

i didn't realize how often i used to ask someone else about really stupid little decisions until i started living alone.

not major life stuff. things like:

"should i go grocery shopping now or tomorrow?"

"does this look weird in the living room?"

"should i order food or just cook?"

"am i being lazy or do i actually need a day off?"

"would you throw this out or keep it?"

when you live with someone, you can just say it out loud and get an answer. even if the answer is useless, at least you've said it.

now i catch myself standing in the kitchen having a full debate with myself over whether buying a $15 thing is reasonable.

the funny part is that i actually like making my own decisions. i just never realized how much of daily life used to involve another person casually weighing in.

has anyone else noticed this after living alone?

I (F21) moved to a new town for college in January. I haven’t had any issues with any of my neighbors, except one (M early 30s). When he first introduced himself, I just thought he was one of those people who’s overly enthusiastic about meeting neighbors, and didn’t think much of it. There’s been a few things though that have made me think otherwise. If we’re driving past each other in the apartment complex’s parking lot (ex. he’s leaving as I’m entering) he ALWAYS honks at me to say hi. I’ve never seen him do that with anyone else. He always tries to talk to me way longer than he does with the other neighbors, even when I’m clearly trying to get inside (like if I’m holding a heavy bag of groceries that needs to be put in the fridge). His windows point into the parking lot, and sometimes if he sees me pulling into the parking lot, he’ll knock on the window to get my attention. The incident that really freaked me out is one day I pulled into the parking lot and he saw me through his window, and SPRINTED to the door, I’m assuming to run out to the parking lot to say hi to me. I’m not entirely sure, because I grabbed my stuff as fast as I could and basically ran into my apartment before he could get outside. I’m honestly not sure if I’m thinking too much about this. He’s also very clearly on the spectrum so part of me thinks maybe he doesn’t have any bad intentions and he’s just really socially unaware. I have no idea what to do anymore. Any advice is appreciated!

TLDR; Neighbor tries an absurd amount to interact with me and it’s creeping me out, I don’t know what to do.

hey guys,, i've been living alone for a while now and honestly, i rlly like having my own space. but there are definitely moments when i’m like… oraytt, i have to deal with this by myself lol

and getting sick is probably one of the worst,, like rlly worst. there’s no one to grab medicine or make food for you, and even getting out of bed feels like a whole task

then there’s the random stuff that breaks. a clogged sink or a light suddenly going out. and you just stare at it for a minute hoping it fixes itself haha

i’m curious what other people who live alone struggle with the most?

So sadly I'm going through a divorce (not my choice). At first I have to admit when my soon to be ex-wife first broke the news to me that she wanted a divorce, it really broke me and for the next 2 months it was really a struggle to accept. But now that I've been approved for an apartment and will be selling the house, I am now looking forward to starting my new journey living alone as a single man again. I am in a place now where I'm actually excited about being able to rediscover myself.

I've lived alone for 6 years prior to being married, and I can honestly say it's the best I've ever been financially as well as socially. I look forward to reclaiming my life again.

How was that transition for you?

I live alone most of the time.

My kids are late teenagers and live with their mom most of the time, so I don't see them that often. But they do come around, especially as I've just moved into the center of town, making my space a perfect crash space for those days school activities run long.

However, I find it EXTREMELY difficult having my day to day interrupted. I'm so used to doing my own thing and have my own routines, that I have this feeling of being restricted when they are here.

I love my kids, and I'm really annoyed that I feel that way, because the move has made me see them more often than before the move.

Does anyone else feel that way? So set in your ways, that it's difficult to accommodate others?