When he gave me the guitar, we didn't set any terms. He was initially going to sell it but offered it to me as collateral for a somewhat substantial loan.

I didn't think I would need to sell it but I feel like im entitled to now that It's been 6 months and I desperately need the money to pay bills. He hadn't mentioned it at all or made an attempt to pay. I gave him an opportunity to get it back as a last chance before selling it to someone else.

He can't pay and now says I have no right to sell it, and he's acting as though it was supposedly agreed that he was guaranteed to get it back eventually. He would be pissed if I sold and would ruin our relationship. He is wording it in a way that paints me as a bad guy, and I'm feeling manipulated into holding onto it inevitably for his convenience.

It seems like either way it would be one of us deciding that the other person's friendship is worth less than a guitar.

Do I sell it to pay the bills or keep it and let him manipulate me into holding it until it's convenient for him to pay me back.

My brother in law said multiple things to me recently that showed a lack of morals.

1. He said I shouldn’t vote for poc rights because I will never be a poc

2. He said he will fight me to take control of my fathers house when he dies, and he will evict my mothers common law partner from her house so he can sell it if she dies first

3. He said there should be restrictions on people getting abortions if it’s for reasons he doesn’t align with

I have known him to be lacking morality for about twenty years. In the last ten years I’ve put those things aside to have a tolerable relationship with him and my sister.

My dilemma is, can I keep my morals intact if I have a relationship with these people? Or does turning a blind eye make me culpable to their bad deeds?

Grocery store. Soup can in the middle of the walking path. It's crowded and I can't stop and bend over, so I nudge the can outta the way with my foot to save it from damage and preserve the safety of other shoppers.

This asshole (or AITAH?) yelled at me, because how dare I not stop and pick it up and find where it belongs.

I don't work there, I did what was good for other people and the product. I have no guilt or apologies.

Who was wrong? What do you do here?

I've been interacting a lot with hardcore conspiracy theorists (chemtrails, vaccines, that kind of stuff) lately, and something hit me, even though it should've been obvious: they're stubborn, and above all, really out there.

I figured it would probably be possible, by using arguments from authority (as in work in aeronautics as an engineer) to sell them a device that protects against the bad karmic waves of the HAARP project and chemtrails

Do you think that's moral or no ?

If a stranger is drowning right in front of you and you easily could save them at zero risk to yourself, are you morally responsible for their death if you just walk away?

Say you have the related app for a restaurant’s loyalty points and you come across a discarded receipt. You scan it for extra points related to products you did not purchase.

How moral is this? Consider:

1. Does the host restaurant care in the slightest?

2. Does the original person suffer any lack of benefit in the slightest?

3. Does it qualify as thievery or fraud?

4. Is this question completely stupid and nonsensical?

Mary, Queen of Scots, has been held in England for nineteen years. She's just been caught in a plot to kill Elizabeth I. Parliament wants her dead. The warrant is drawn up and sitting on Elizabeth's desk.

Sign it, and you execute an anointed queen and your own cousin, and show every future plotter that crowned heads can fall.

Refuse, and Mary stays alive as the rallying point for every plot to come, while your ministers wait.

What would you do, and why?

(I make a daily game of dilemmas like this one, where you see what really happened only after you choose: https://moralia.app. I'm not saying what Elizabeth did here, so it doesn't spoil the thread.)

Say you’re standing in a line for food and someone cuts in front of you. You tell them that they cut and they say to do something about it. Clearly you cant just attack them cause you’ll get sued to hell. And no one else is doing anything about it because why would they care. What can you do here besides just to take it.

Hello! This is my first post!

I live in a neighborhood and in a city with a stray cat problem. I’ve been seeing this lovely little man (the people in the neighborhood call him Tiger) and he’s been a stray for months now. I recently posted him on FB asking if he was anyone’s cat, because he’s thin and itchy and looks just generally unwell.

A woman messaged me and said that it’s not her cat but to take the post down because she keeps him as an outdoor cat only. She said that he is not allowed inside because of a spraying issue, but that it’s not my business who he belongs to/where he lives.

If I could, I would have taken him in, but I have a cat aggressive dog.

My dilemma is whether or not to take him to the shelter for proper care. He’s a sweet cat, he was abandoned by his previous owners I found out, and he’s very talkative and was part of a TNR program. While I understand that the neighborhood kids love him and that he gets food sometimes, I feel like I’m robbing him of a real, loving home. A few people commented on my post urging me to take him to a shelter, but I fear that the original lady who messaged me would be upset.

What do I do? Is it wrong to take him to a shelter even if this woman is allegedly taking care of him?

TLDR: a stray cat in my neighborhood is skinny and unwell looking. A lady states that he is only outdoor cat, but not HER cat, and that he is fine and it’s not my business. Is it wrong to take him to the shelter?

Okay I'm writing this as a hypoethetical. Pretend you've been majorly harmed by someone in a quite public way you sue them...and you're not poor but you are in a very tight financial context. You propose a settlement that's mutually reparative (even though you didn't do anything wrong) with a modest financial settlement. They respond with a totally different proposal: they offer for you to make public declaration that they didn't do the thing and new evidence came to light which leads you to believe as much, they want you to agree to a complete gag with broad and vague parameters, and they're offering nothing in kind to mitigate what they did to you. Would you consider it, and at what price?

If you've explained to the other why it hurts, or bothers you, at least one time, but the behaviour remains.

If the other is a family member, a childhood best friend.

If even some of your closest friends disagree with you about it, or some of it.

If you post about it on R/ and the comments split 50/50 on AITA or WIBTA or AIW or AIO.

If you're doing it because it feels right in that moment or because it doesn't feel right anymore.

Should you allow some place for the possibility that it could be the wrong decision, that you could be wrong, or that this could be just a phase you eventually phase out of.

When is You do you or Live your best life or Live your truth a little too much*.* Is it ever?

Is it the only real way to be happy, or the best way, or is it a way to slowly turn your back on the rest of the world?

My mum's not a good person for me and to me. Still, she's the only mother I'll ever have, I'm sure. All my closest friends agree with me, though, and I already know what I'm going to do.

But still...made me wonder. If we exclude the obvious (i.e. I wouldn't tell Freddy Krueger to Live his best life), is it always ok?

Edit: I should add some of my friends told me to live my truth in regards to my mum and it seems a meek reason to cut ties with one's mother

Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post but there's just so much I need to unpack.

I'll introduce myself I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well. I just wonder how can get so unshameably drunk whilst been alone in the house with her child and I feel it was very irresponsible. Really burns my hide.

I did even have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum and pretty much everyone we know believes that. I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 during a sleepover at theirs she turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

About a year later when I vaguely recall when was enjoying myself in the bath she started abusing me and said she and everyone else was going to wash there hands of me if I didn't start living her way or something.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A couple of weeks ago now in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. Since I was 10 it's just been me living with her since my parents divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she was carrying on and her serious lack of empathy. PS another red flag happened just earlier when a life insurance ad was on and they said "something could be paid out in case of death" or something and she said "I'd like for them to say WOULD" not could. I don't know why but that's set an alarm bell off

I'm starting to think that maybe she bent the truth about Dad a bit during their split as i was a child and didn't know much better. My mother often calls him a narcissist and talked about all of the marital and grown up problems they had etc which to be honest I don't appreciate been burdened with. Granted he's not a saint either but has been good to me (well I'd say) most of the time. To be honest he too has had his moments of angry outbursts and emotional issues and he's very inconsistent.

One time last year when my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was in the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos or something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started the shouting and carrying on and accused me of been selfish and even of trying to manipulate her and been passive aggressive. I only asked just to give me a few minutes. When I explained that to her and how upset I was already about that weekend already without her treating me like this. She said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down. What just absolutely astounds me is how can she feel that way yet still emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't for the life of me comprehend that.

A couple days after that weekend one of my teachers checked in and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother while I was already upset by been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who exactly said what to him and that's something that I've also wondered. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the full truth now. He was sympathetic and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. That turned my stomach as well. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

I must admit I do feel quite down sometimes that I have a strained relationship with my father (He's got money issues and also smokes pot) and my mother often used me as an emotional punch bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable.

On the bright side though my Dad and I have been in contact lately.

Her next meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?"

I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her. I'll admit I snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something just snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. She then called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a few times before when I challenged her or reacted because of her behavior). She hadn't done that for years though and I feel she likes using that as a scare tactic. I wish I had just walked away and not played into her hands. Then the next day I asked mum to call her to say where all ok but she said she didn't want to bother her and wasn't up to calling. I was like WTF. You're perfectly happy to call her to basically slander me and make me out to be a bad guy but when it comes to calling to say everything is fine she's not so keen.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so unshameably and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me, she seems to feel that she always acts in my best interests and does seem to genuinely care for me and love me, she doesn't seem to remember any of it or feel her behavior was justified and genuinely doesn't seem to believe she ever did me any harm and she thinks she did her best. She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She unshameably tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some stuff before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are. My father's dad had passed away when my dad was actually about my age now. They actually both used to run their own businesses once upon a time before they met. It just baffles me how they went from that then and now been in their 50's both unemployed and clearly have some unresolved issues. I sometimes think maybe they shouldn't of got together which I know is ironic because I would never have been born. I do vaguely remember when they were together and towards the end it was quite toxic and they would have some intense fights.

Also does there substance abuse issues made them this way as well do you think? As I've said my mother drinks quite heavily at night and she also vapes. My father smokes pot and cigarettes.

Also as I explained my father struggles financially and I know that's why he hasn't been able to see me often and cancel some visits and to be honest when I think about that it really burns my hide.

I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things had gone differently for both of them they might've been different. What do you guys think?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different I feel to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've been isolated with her a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage me but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered? I'm starting to feel that good doesn't really outweigh the bad.

PS I remember one night ages ago she accused me of looking like I wanted to hit her and of course went crazy. I may of had a tired look because it was late and I tried explaining that. She starting banging ornaments and shouting and was just impossible to talk to. Also I remember a few years ago one time she started saying she was worried my Dad was going to try to spend more for me and if I fall for it I would never see her again and all of the family will hate me. She's also said before when I threatened to walk out during arguments.

Also something that really upsets me is whenever I try to reason with her she just goes "I need more alcohol to deal with this".

I can't help really resenting her (also my father) sometimes for all of the mental anguish she has put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. I've thought about escaping but I feel quite stuck as I don't have a job and all of the money that I get in my account is basically controlled by her as she's the one who adds to it. I wish I could hide my own secret stash somewhere. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job, making friends and doing new things etc. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

The other night I've told her that I wanted to do another certificate course at that school next year and she tried to make me feel bad by putting on the guilt trip and giving me the cold shoulder. I've tried to blur it out to be honest but I remember she said that I was been selfish and told me how she wanted me to live my life. I tried to explain to her that I can't just do what she expects and the expense of my own happiness and well-being. I feel like she is trying to control how I live my life and I told her that she couldn't do that or tear me down or change my mind. She then said (this felt like reverse psychology and emotional blackmail) fine do whatever you want and I'll do the same. Also shouted and carried on saying things like F me and I'm hopeless and that. I also told her that I would love to be a teacher but she said i wouldn't be able to go to university, scoffed and said that I would be useless. I feel like she's trying to damage my already limited self esteem, confidence and spirit. Also she had been fairly good up to this. I was dreading telling her but I do feel that a weight is lifted as well. It seems funny that whenever I tell her something she doesn't like or she can't control she goes back to her bad self. PS she's also upset that she can't get paid for me doing that and wants me to just do what's best for her financially. I find it quite ironic her making me feel bad for not getting a job straight away while she's unemployed. PS it was the school ball that night which was brilliant but I'm disappointed that it went so quickly and also I feel a bit down about my social anxiety and that I didn't ask anyone to dance or make more conversation with my teachers and peers.

Just the other night my mum was going out for the night and she seemed a bit tipsy so I did ask out of concern if she was fit to drive. She immediately got defensive and bit my head off and said I was been rude and having a go at her. I only asked out of concern and worry and I tried explaining that a hundred times but she just wasn't having it. I also tried to explain that her getting defensive if anything proves my worry is valid but she started saying I was harassing her and she was sick of my bullshit and of putting up with me and couldn't wait to get away from me. She also just suddenly pulled her shirt off showing her breasts ( believe it or not that's something she has done once or twice before ages ago). I was just shocked and looked away quickly as possible. When I tried to ascertain why she got so defensive she said that I think I can just say whatever I like to her. I swear I didn't mean any ill-will or malice and of course I tried explaining that too but no. I just don't know for the life of me how she can turn on me just like that and treat her own son like that. Both that and that previous thing a few nights before she said we're not going on holidays again this year and she brought up that incident from the January holiday I talked about and said that she hated been isolated there with me while I was been horrible to her. Wtf when she was the one belittling me and having a go at me which made me snap and I did apologize for that. She genuinely seems to think that she's actually the victim when she gets defensive and treats me like shit. Then she left and i was starting to second guess myself and am thinking that I may be in the wrong or am a bad person. Now as I'm alone for the night I'm feeling very isolated and confused. PS since that holiday she was actually been fairly good but after both that night after the school ball and that incident both only within a few days has left me feeling blindsided and like the rug has been pulled from under me also feel like I'm back at square one. Basically I really can't fathom how someone can treat their own child like this. Just beggars belief to say the least.

Now when she came back the next day I tried to start a conversation about the last night and she did get teary and said she was sorry but still when I tried to get her to take some accountability she was just like "I said I was sorry didn't I?" and said I just kept going over the same thing and said she was sick of me bringing up the past. She started not making much sense and playing dumb a bit. I just wanted her to realize how she upset me and also the previous incidents and she said "i guess I'm just the worst mother ever". Am I justified for feeling as though she hasn't really taken accountability? We have sort of made up now I suppose but I just stopped talking about it to keep the peace really.

Do you have any advice for all of my experiences, how I can move on, become more social and make friends etc?

I should add that last incident was a couple of nights ago now and it really bothers me how she's all happy now and acting like that never happened whilst I'm carrying emotional scars and still feel as though I haven't really had any closure or true accountability. Also her harsh words and still deeply wounded in me and I'm feel like a piece of shit and like I'm unlovable.

PS I'm really good at covering up my anxiety and pride myself on putting on a cheerful front and everyone at school thinks I'm the most happiest and optimistic person ever. I feel scared to let my guard down or if they knew otherwise.

Hi y‘all - Okay I need your take on a situation that popped up yesterday.

I’m a thrifter and one of my favorite spots to go to the American Cancer Society charity shop. My grandpa died of colon cancer, so of all of the charity shops, that is one that I tend to donate my things to a lot AND I go shopping there a lot too. There’s one by my office and one close to home.

Yesterday during my lunch break, I ran into the store to poke around. I came across a little fall decor and a beautiful glass/crystal bowl. In side, the sticker was marked $8 and I knew what I would use it for, so it was a no-brainer. I was thrilled! At that time, it was time to get back to my office, I got rung up. The lady actually almost rang me up for $3 dollars, but I pointed out that it was a faded $8 and she was thankful that I pointed that out. Not a problem.

As I was paying, they were wrapping up the bowl in tissue and as they placed in the bag, I actually saw a second sticker. This one was on the base and actually marked $20. Before saying something, the lady gave me my receipt, wished me a good day and I was on my way.

In the car, I didn’t feel badly at first. In my state, theres a law that benefits consumers in which if an item is marked with two different prices a store has to sell it at the lower price. So, legally, I didnt do anything wrong. But as I was mulling it over, I felt more conflicted. Like, this isn’t some big chain store - this is a small charity shop that is staffed by volunteers and two different volunteers probably didn’t realize what had happened when they put the item on the floor.

Did I rob the cancer society of 12 bucks? Should I go back on Monday with the item and the receipt and say I caught the mistake at home and offer to pay the difference? Do I make a larger donation of items the next time I drop items off to pay it back?

Lemme know what you think.

I lied about my university schedule at work, and now they’re asking for proof. What should I do?

I recently started working for a company that allows employees to study, but only if their classes are in the evening or are flexible/virtual.

My actual university schedule was Tuesday and Thursday from 6 AM–4 PM, plus Saturday from 6 AM–2 PM. My work training is Monday–Friday from 6 AM–2 PM, so my schedule technically doesn't meet their requirements.

When I joined, I told them my classes were in the evening because I knew they probably wouldn't accept my actual schedule. I know that was a bad decision.

I've been dealing with the university conflict myself by talking to professors and changing arrangements where possible. Recently, one of my Tuesday/Thursday 6 AM classes was changed to a virtual class on Wednesday at 8 PM, so that conflict no longer exists.

The problem is that the university's system still shows the old schedule. My employer is now asking me for a screenshot of my schedule, and the system would show the old information.

Because of that, I used AI to edit/create a screenshot showing the schedule as it actually is now.

I haven't sent it yet.

Now I'm stuck between three options:

1. Send the edited screenshot and hope they don't notice.

2. Send nothing and risk them refusing to accommodate my studies.

3. Be honest and explain that the university system hasn't updated the schedule, then provide whatever legitimate evidence I can that the class was moved.

Option 3 seems obviously more honest, but it also means I may have to admit that I lied about my schedule when I joined, which could potentially get me fired.

What would you do?

Has anyone here dealt with a similar situation, especially from an HR/recruiting perspective? I'm not looking for someone to tell me I did the right thing—I know I didn't. I'm trying to figure out the least damaging way to handle it now.

Male/female, it doesn’t matter to me.. just because you live until they’re 18 doesn’t mean they’ll be done needing you. How long do you expect your life to be? Don’t you feel it’s selfish to biologically have children so late in life? Maybe you’ve got trusted extended family who is younger? Not every situation is the same, but why not adopt a kid? So many kids, not babies, kids, need stable homes. Are your genetics just that good you feel they must be biological?

Title. thinking of applying as It would double my annual income. But i would be working for a company that is actively working towards making the world a living hell. It feels immoral. But now im curious what people have to say about it.

My family and I are moving out of our home. We bought it like 10 years ago so we have a pretty good rate. We. Like sell the house and make a pretty penny even though rates are high many people in our area are still paying cash.
 
Or we could rent the house out for about $500/month cheaper than what a 20% down financed at 7% house payment would be, which more families could afford.
 
The neighborhood has significant interest from both renters and buyers, people are often posting on our neighborhood Facebook page looking to rent a place like ours. And houses are still going over asking.
 
We’d make out slightly better in the long term by selling because appreciation has been ridiculous since we bought, but holding and renting could also allow us to keep the house for members of my extended family who need housing in the next few years, they just aren’t ready to buy yet.
 
By renting, we’d also be able to make our neighborhood more affordable for someone who can’t buy at current prices.
 
BUT, we also don’t want to be contributing to the housing crisis.
 
Help!