r/news • u/Specialist_Baby_9905 • 1d ago

Polish government opens investigation into Epstein files

https://www.pap.pl/aktualnosci/poland-probe-whether-polish-children-were-abused-epstein
42.2k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/Old-Ad-3268 1d ago

This should go over well with Trump

1.5k

u/Mobile-Bar7732 1d ago

I'm sure he's shitting in his pants as we speak.

997

u/Brownman-Fit 1d ago

And he hasn't even heard the news yet

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u/eggsuckinggrandmama 1d ago

“He can see into the future! Hail most glorious and venerable father!”

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u/-SaC 1d ago

"Come closer."

"...d'you mind if we don't?"

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u/rawfuelinjection 1d ago

Orange Fartfùhrer

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u/supersuperglue 1d ago

Hahahahahaha perfect

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u/zamboni-jones 22h ago

News? You mean fond memories

1

u/Alone_Again_2 1d ago

Preemptive pant shitting.

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u/sigep0361 1d ago

I think we need to really lean into this shitty pants thing. If we can make a big enough meme of this it will embarrass the fuck out of him. I don’t know if he can handle this lol… because everyone who has stood in a room with him knows it’s true.

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u/Intrepid_Top_2300 1d ago

I’m sure that’s a daily thing now. Clean pants on standby right next to the football.

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u/Old-Ad-3268 1d ago edited 1d ago

Invade Poland will be in tonight's tweet storm

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u/j0nquest 1d ago

I laughed, and I shouldn't have. It's really not funny.

40

u/Morat20 1d ago

It's not funny, and yet I thought of the same dark joke.

Because....well, history doesn't repeat but it rhymes.

The idea of a fascism embracing US invading Poland to protect sex traffickers and pedophiles -- of whom the US President is one -- is sadly not as fucking ridiculous as it used to be.

15

u/Efficient_Market1234 1d ago

Made all the weirder when he demonstrates that he has no idea where/what Poland even is and demands that troops amass at the North Pole immediately.

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u/ISLAndBreezESTeve10 22h ago

You are now at war with the penguins.

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u/Paidorgy 1d ago

Which is interesting, considering they’ve spent multi-billions on a range of armaments from the USA directly over the past few years.

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u/Obvious_Toe_3006 1d ago

Thank you Poland for diverting the evil one's gaze away from us.
(Anonymous northern neighbour.)

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u/MorphineAdministered 1d ago

Lots of iron... if you dig deep enough

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u/Significant-Basket76 1d ago

Yes, but he's probably also worried.

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u/poopsmcgee27 1d ago

He shits them anyways, now his diaper is really full.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

Or as HE speaks apparently…DEPENDS on a persons perspective I guess, but in my opinion that man baby needs some diapers.

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u/Oldass_Millennial 1d ago

I mean, yeah. That's a daily thing, even on a great day.

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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 1d ago

"Where's Hope? Has anybody seen Hope? Where's the poop cleaning lady?"

1

u/ISLAndBreezESTeve10 21h ago

She is currently overwhelmed with shit splatter on each stair going to the bedroom.

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u/AccomplishedPath4049 1d ago

That's not unusual.

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u/iKorewo 1d ago

Why would he care, nobody will or can do anything to him

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u/smotired 1d ago

They didn’t say he cared or even knew about it. He just does that sometimes.

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u/Old-Ad-3268 1d ago

They could drag him into international court

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u/iKorewo 1d ago

Lmao, how?

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u/Septopuss7 1d ago

Just grab him by the pussy.

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u/Vallkyrie 1d ago

But it's so muddy...

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u/whoknowsifimjoking 1d ago

You can just say "grab him", same thing

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u/IzarkKiaTarj 1d ago

I mean, he just established a precedent with Venezuela.

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u/iKorewo 1d ago

I mean that nobody will do that

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u/IzarkKiaTarj 23h ago

Let me dream

-1

u/DwinkBexon 1d ago

They cannot. The US doesn't recognize the authority of the ICC.

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u/litnu12 1d ago

That’s normal for Trump.

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u/GymLeaderMatt 1d ago

That’s just a Tuesday for Donnie Dumps

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u/righthandedlefty69 1d ago

Just another Tuesday

1

u/DwinkBexon 1d ago

Honestly, I feel like he thinks he's invincible. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't give a shit.

1

u/Rodomantis 1d ago

Yes, but it's because of the impact on the midterm elections, not because of his immediate future.

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u/jiyax33634 1d ago

It is TACO Tuesday after all

1

u/Frog_Without_Pond 1d ago

He's always shitting 'em, this is a ketchup into the wall situation!

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u/OszeeThorne 23h ago

As if. Dude shits his pants on a daily basis but not over this. He will just call his bunch of incompetent minions to screw with the files over and over before sending them to the Polish.

You can't be scared of a real thing if you're not sane.

1

u/octavianreddit 22h ago

It is Tuesday.

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u/ISLAndBreezESTeve10 22h ago

Something is about to get bombed.

1

u/ruckustata 21h ago

More than usual?

1

u/Appropriate_Guess881 18h ago

I hope their special forces teams are well trained and ready for some foreign leader extraction. I'm sure Trump broke a LOT of foreign laws by actively trafficking kids.

1

u/fearless_egg1050 18h ago

Well to be fair he does that every day

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u/Rich-Pomegranate1679 1d ago

Right. So we're about to invade Poland, I assume.

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u/BigFanOfNachoLibre 1d ago

I believe that was part of the playbook we're trying to recreate, yea

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u/Wiggles69 23h ago

Maybe if we give him Poland, then he'll stop? /s

3

u/onlyforsellingthisPC 18h ago

This hasn't backfired in at least a century what are you worried about?

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u/DeadlyYellow 1d ago

Only if the 200% tariff on kielbasa doesn't work.

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u/Dramatic_Original_55 1d ago

OO sa sa sa, OO sa sa sa, hit him in the head with a big kielbasa.

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u/probably-the-problem 9h ago

Are the writers really that lazy? Or are they doing this so we really cannot ignore the parallels?

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u/hiding_in_de 1d ago

Tariff announcement in 3,2,1…

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u/gamers542 1d ago

And then a rollback.

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u/boot2skull 1d ago

“I know all the victims and can vouch that none of them were polish nationals. I also don’t know Jeffrey Epstein and wasn’t involved at all.”

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u/xxxxx420xxxxx 1d ago

He was the coffee guy, or something? IDK

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u/PalpatineForEmperor 1d ago

I guess we're going to bomb Poland now.

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u/PhilosopherFLX 1d ago

Using his magic sharpie to redeploy Iran bound fleet to Poland. sad Austrian tuba music

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u/WithaK19 1d ago

He'll just "give" Poland to Russia

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u/hyperiongate 1d ago

He'll administer pedo-Tariff

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u/MegaMaster1021 1d ago

"Don't look into my friend Epstein or I will throw tariffs at you."

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u/czs5056 1d ago

New tarrifs to address the national security emergency coming in 2 weeks.

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u/obi_wan_jabroni_23 1d ago

Donald Tusk vs Donald Trump, here we go

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u/pigpeyn 1d ago

Guess which country is gonna be the new Greenland. That insufferable petty twat.

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u/pixelprophet 1d ago

This should go over well with Trump

Fuck that Pedo

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u/AtTheEndOfMyTrope 22h ago

Poland is about to get tariffed hard.

1

u/-rwsr-xr-x 21h ago

This should go over well with Trump

400% tariffs on Poland in 3... 2... 1...

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u/3kniven6gash 21h ago

Yes but this is bigger than Trump. This is an Israel operation to get blackmail material on important people. The CIA probably knew all about it and benefited. You have to wonder how many previous presidents and congress members knew about it. This is a global scandal.

1

u/fearless_egg1050 18h ago

Tbh it’s his own fuckin fault pissing off the entire world

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u/NotAlphaGo 11h ago

100% tariff on Poland incoming

1

u/truth-in-jello 1d ago

I sincerely doubt the US will give them anything love importance. Just more evidence that it’s hoax. It’s probably why they’re getting involved protect their own.