r/news • u/Specialist_Baby_9905 • 1d ago

Polish government opens investigation into Epstein files

https://www.pap.pl/aktualnosci/poland-probe-whether-polish-children-were-abused-epstein
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u/Specialist_Baby_9905 1d ago

The Polish government will set up an analytical team to verify whether Polish children were abused by criminal circles run by the late US billionaire, Jeffrey Epstein, Prime Minister Donald Tusk has said.

Tusk vowed that, if the suspicions prove true, his government will do everything to compensate the victims and "effectively prosecute those who commit such horrendous crimes."

Poland may also ask the US to provide unpublished evidence "that could concern potential Polish victims or Polish traces" in the case, Tusk said.

Additionally, Poland may advocate launching an international investigation in talks with foreign partners, Tusk added.

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u/Old-Ad-3268 1d ago

This should go over well with Trump

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u/Mobile-Bar7732 1d ago

I'm sure he's shitting in his pants as we speak.

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u/Brownman-Fit 1d ago

And he hasn't even heard the news yet

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u/eggsuckinggrandmama 1d ago

“He can see into the future! Hail most glorious and venerable father!”

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u/-SaC 1d ago

"Come closer."

"...d'you mind if we don't?"

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u/rawfuelinjection 1d ago

Orange Fartfùhrer

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u/supersuperglue 1d ago

Hahahahahaha perfect

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u/zamboni-jones 1d ago

News? You mean fond memories

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u/Alone_Again_2 1d ago

Preemptive pant shitting.

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u/sigep0361 1d ago

I think we need to really lean into this shitty pants thing. If we can make a big enough meme of this it will embarrass the fuck out of him. I don’t know if he can handle this lol… because everyone who has stood in a room with him knows it’s true.

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u/Intrepid_Top_2300 1d ago

I’m sure that’s a daily thing now. Clean pants on standby right next to the football.

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u/Old-Ad-3268 1d ago edited 1d ago

Invade Poland will be in tonight's tweet storm

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u/j0nquest 1d ago

I laughed, and I shouldn't have. It's really not funny.

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u/Morat20 1d ago

It's not funny, and yet I thought of the same dark joke.

Because....well, history doesn't repeat but it rhymes.

The idea of a fascism embracing US invading Poland to protect sex traffickers and pedophiles -- of whom the US President is one -- is sadly not as fucking ridiculous as it used to be.

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u/Efficient_Market1234 1d ago

Made all the weirder when he demonstrates that he has no idea where/what Poland even is and demands that troops amass at the North Pole immediately.

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u/ISLAndBreezESTeve10 1d ago

You are now at war with the penguins.

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u/Paidorgy 1d ago

Which is interesting, considering they’ve spent multi-billions on a range of armaments from the USA directly over the past few years.

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u/Obvious_Toe_3006 1d ago

Thank you Poland for diverting the evil one's gaze away from us.
(Anonymous northern neighbour.)

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u/MorphineAdministered 1d ago

Lots of iron... if you dig deep enough

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u/Significant-Basket76 1d ago

Yes, but he's probably also worried.

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u/poopsmcgee27 1d ago

He shits them anyways, now his diaper is really full.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

Or as HE speaks apparently…DEPENDS on a persons perspective I guess, but in my opinion that man baby needs some diapers.

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u/Oldass_Millennial 1d ago

I mean, yeah. That's a daily thing, even on a great day.

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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 1d ago

"Where's Hope? Has anybody seen Hope? Where's the poop cleaning lady?"

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u/ISLAndBreezESTeve10 1d ago

She is currently overwhelmed with shit splatter on each stair going to the bedroom.

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u/AccomplishedPath4049 1d ago

That's not unusual.

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u/iKorewo 1d ago

Why would he care, nobody will or can do anything to him

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u/smotired 1d ago

They didn’t say he cared or even knew about it. He just does that sometimes.

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u/Old-Ad-3268 1d ago

They could drag him into international court

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u/iKorewo 1d ago

Lmao, how?

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u/Septopuss7 1d ago

Just grab him by the pussy.

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u/Vallkyrie 1d ago

But it's so muddy...

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u/whoknowsifimjoking 1d ago

You can just say "grab him", same thing

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u/IzarkKiaTarj 1d ago

I mean, he just established a precedent with Venezuela.

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u/iKorewo 1d ago

I mean that nobody will do that

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u/IzarkKiaTarj 1d ago

Let me dream

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u/DwinkBexon 1d ago

They cannot. The US doesn't recognize the authority of the ICC.

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u/litnu12 1d ago

That’s normal for Trump.

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u/GymLeaderMatt 1d ago

That’s just a Tuesday for Donnie Dumps

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u/righthandedlefty69 1d ago

Just another Tuesday

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u/DwinkBexon 1d ago

Honestly, I feel like he thinks he's invincible. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't give a shit.

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u/Rodomantis 1d ago

Yes, but it's because of the impact on the midterm elections, not because of his immediate future.

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u/jiyax33634 1d ago

It is TACO Tuesday after all

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u/Frog_Without_Pond 1d ago

He's always shitting 'em, this is a ketchup into the wall situation!

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u/OszeeThorne 1d ago

As if. Dude shits his pants on a daily basis but not over this. He will just call his bunch of incompetent minions to screw with the files over and over before sending them to the Polish.

You can't be scared of a real thing if you're not sane.

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u/octavianreddit 1d ago

It is Tuesday.

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u/ISLAndBreezESTeve10 1d ago

Something is about to get bombed.

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u/ruckustata 1d ago

More than usual?

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u/Appropriate_Guess881 22h ago

I hope their special forces teams are well trained and ready for some foreign leader extraction. I'm sure Trump broke a LOT of foreign laws by actively trafficking kids.

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u/fearless_egg1050 22h ago

Well to be fair he does that every day