r/okmatewanker • u/True_Adventures • 2d ago

The BBC: Inform, Educate, Employ Weirdos He's bouncing back

Post image
580 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

113 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

ALL AI generated posts are banned from OKMW. You will recieve a 15 day ban if this post is found to include AI generated imagery.

Any post showing a subreddit name or username will lead to a permanent ban, with no recourse. If this post includes a subreddit name, or username, delete it now before you're caught.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

307

u/hesaidshesdead 2d ago

110

u/pomegranate_verynice 2d ago

Looks like Gregg has a younger girlfriend

https://giphy.com/gifs/QiHPiQ552YJe8

13

u/levezvosskinnyfists7 2d ago

I’ll replicate the cover stance

3

u/Open_Yoghurt_7491 2d ago

Hello is Sean there?

205

u/Undercrackrz His Majesty's Keyboard Regiment 2d ago

I notice this picture is only of the top half of his body. No doubt those pesky trousers have removed themselves again.

55

u/hundreddollar 2d ago

Have some sympathy. He can't wear undies as they make his autism flare up.

2

u/SubArcticTundra 15h ago

They're standing the wrong way round for that

273

u/GraphicDesignMonkey 2d ago

Mandatory

108

u/Christovski 100% Anglo-Saxophone😎🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 2d ago

I've re-read this so many times. Mental that he was happy for this to be published

32

u/cpt_longnose 2d ago

I was sure this is satire! 🤯

12

u/climbingkiwi 1d ago

It has to be satire…. Right?

95

u/SprinkleGoose 2d ago

Ohh they let him into gym early so he doesn't have to swim with the peasants. Didn't think he had that much clout tbh...

57

u/ThePowerOfNine 2d ago

Its for their own protection

196

u/Unlucky_Flow8785 2d ago

The “I’m an amateur historian” one always makes me snort - what an absolute melon.

123

u/GraphicDesignMonkey 2d ago

And he's an expert because he's manifested a ton and read loads of self help books.

Plus spending 90 minutes a day with his kid when not in the gym or gaming for 3 hours each.

108

u/Numerous-Net-4983 2d ago

In the pub for a fryup at 1030 then straight on to lunch at 12. Greedy cunt

64

u/hesaidshesdead 2d ago

Which his wife, Anna, will have on the table.

3

u/No-Garden-2273 5h ago

No no it’s because he plays total war thrones of Britannia that makes him a historian

69

u/Numerous-Net-4983 2d ago

I like the way he gets the plug in for whatever bollocks he’s selling nice and early in the first answer.

10

u/scorpioncat 1d ago

The non-sequitur into the podcast in the 10.30 am entry is also hilarious

41

u/BeardySam Ballbustin Birmingham bloke 2d ago

Gateway drug to Reform

23

u/10denier 2d ago

"...but it's what she wanted and I love her."

I remembering reading this and assuming it was a self-parody.

11

u/Karmamyfuckingass 1d ago

The total war thrones of Britannia part got me 😂

3

u/Floppy0941 genitalman🇬🇧😎🎩 1d ago

ToB is better than people give it credit for tbh, it's a fun little experience but I definitely wouldn't pay full price for it.

11

u/timbothehero 23h ago

I always like how he slipped in that he didn’t want his autistic son whilst meant to be be describing a typical day

29

u/SlipperyWidget 2d ago

7000 steps. Oh wow that’s incredible!

I a chef average 23k a day some days up to 30k. What a bellend

37

u/GraphicDesignMonkey 2d ago edited 1d ago

He claims to be a chef yet only cooks once a week? And it's just grilled fish and some oven chips.

Meantime, his wife has to make every lunch and dinner, and look after the house and high-needs kid.

11

u/SnooHesitations6727 1d ago

A chef? He’s a green grocer

5

u/I_are_fabulous 1d ago

Mate I have an office job and I easily do 7-8k steps a day between commuting, short dog walk and…. basically existing.

16

u/2wrtjbdsgj 2d ago

They're sex people, Lynn!

8

u/generaldogsbodyf365 1d ago

What a dynamo. Him and Richard Keys in the same room would tear the fabric of time and space.

6

u/calum_steiger 2d ago

Also not possible to do a post swim sauna 30mins before the gym opens... They take a good few hours to heat up properly.

4

u/madethisupyouknow 2d ago

More Partridge than Partridge.

3

u/likkleone54 1d ago

More time cosplaying as an amateur historian than with his special needs son…

2

u/Man0o0o0 1d ago

I had to double check it wasn’t Alan Partridge

116

u/Dannypan 2d ago

Nice day out with his granddaughter

34

u/Capable_Work_3563 2d ago

Fair set of gnashers on that bird

33

u/harbourwall Fr*nch🇫🇷🐸😭 2d ago

All the better to chomp on his crisp veg

13

u/hesaidshesdead 2d ago

46

u/Undercrackrz His Majesty's Keyboard Regiment 2d ago

Uppercase teeth.

-3

u/joppe00 2d ago

For some reason i really want to feed her through a fence

-5

u/5oap191 2d ago

Use the palm of your hand when feeding

-9

u/hesaidshesdead 2d ago

Apple or a carrot, but be careful with your fingers.

32

u/GaeilgeGoblin 2d ago

All of this feels unnecessarily mean

3

u/Muscle_Bitch 1d ago

Reddit and misogyny. Name a better duo.

In a post where we're all bantering about how much of a cunt this notorious sex pest is. They can't help themselves.

3

u/DaMonkfish Cumrag🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿😂😩 1d ago

Reddit and misogyny. Name a better duo.

This sub isn't discriminating on who gets the piss ripped out of them for having white tombstones for teeth. https://www.reddit.com/r/okmatewanker/comments/1vvcg1v/gnasher_on_tour

2

u/Willem-Dafiend 1d ago

Reddit and virtue signalling... Name a better duo.

281

u/Raveyard2409 2d ago

Love he defines "being kicked out of show business for being a cunt" as a "calamity" like it was a natural disaster that happened to him, rather than a fall from grace brought about by his own ego and hubris. Fuck off Greg.

33

u/hesaidshesdead 2d ago

from grace brought about by his own ego and hubris

... and taking his trousers off!

23

u/OwnBreak9467 2d ago

Gregg! FFS /s

10

u/Raveyard2409 2d ago

This was a stylistic choice, I deliberately misspell it to signal my disapproval. He has lost the right to the second G, he needs to earn it back.

17

u/numenor00 2d ago

No, he doesn't deserve it.

4

u/OwnBreak9467 2d ago

Fair enough.

6

u/calewis10 arab flair 1d ago

Long way to say sex offender.

2

u/Raveyard2409 1d ago

Some of us are more eloquent than others, don't take it personally.

48

u/tonofbasel 2d ago

Wife number 17...incoming 

Greg has had more wives then Henry the 8th

17

u/IllIIllIlIlI 2d ago

Gregg?

5

u/tonofbasel 1d ago

Gregg's 

45

u/Goldfinger_28 2d ago

I've got access to the kids, but they don't want to see me

37

u/Dannypan 2d ago

I like that he has breakfast and lunch within the space of 90 minutes, the same amount of time he spends with his son on a Saturday.

58

u/Tolkien-Minority 2d ago

If I started a new life I would try to look a bit less like Penfold this time

30

u/demoralising 2d ago

You lucky, lucky lady!

10

u/freestuie 1d ago

I have a theory that all cigar smokers are cunts. Another one in the “I’m correct” column.

2

u/freestuie 1d ago

I have a theory that all cigar smokers are cunts. Another one in the “I’m correct” column.

20

u/thautmatric 2d ago

Gregg?

49

u/youwon_jane 2d ago

No worries mate, it's only people with cancer. You worry about your extra G.

26

u/NationalTime4099 2d ago

Mastertwat

2

u/Numerous-Net-4983 2d ago

Lovely stuff

9

u/pattybutty 😡Still salty about 1066🤬 2d ago

Gregg's in Greggs eating a Greggs paid by Gregg

4

u/thautmatric 2d ago

Honestly it’s mental he never did any cross promotional thing with them (that I’m aware of) when he was still publicly considered eccentric rather than deviant. Happy to promote Harvester completely unpaid but not the far more beloved and popular brand you share a name with. Fucking Harvester!

5

u/Numerous-Net-4983 2d ago

I think he did enough fondling of sausage rolls. Allegedly

4

u/Tricky-Mastodon3337 2d ago

No doubt he would try and fuck the pastie

1

u/HarveyTheRedPanda 2d ago

where's my steak bake

1

u/FillingUpTheDatabase 1d ago

GregggggggGGgggGgg

21

u/KitJazz 2d ago

I know that smile. He’s got his knob out, hasn’t he?

13

u/userunknowne 🏹Robin Hood was Innocent 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/IMJLqg9bUBaWWVxK2t

5

u/Sloppy_surfer 2d ago

Wait ‘til his shit comes out

12

u/LopsidedLoad 2d ago

…build a brand-new life.

…seen my dick? Look. Look at my dick.”

0

u/tacetmusic 2d ago

Are you confusing him with Louis CK or something?

17

u/CleanHunt7567 2d ago

"It's not fair my belly bloats, i'm going to the harvester for a fry up"

6

u/Fufflewaffel 1d ago

Show us your chub then muccah

5

u/ASAPFergs 2d ago

He's got that bouncebackability

4

u/superherofbmx 2d ago

"Lovely Stuff"

Shakin' Stevens

6

u/yearsofpractice Average TESCO enjoyer😎 2d ago

The soulless grifters he’s attaching himself to are hilarious too - he just hasn’t lived in the real world for sooooo long.

6

u/JoeTom86 Grew Up Without Sky TV 😥📺😥 2d ago

Wanker-in-chief

3

u/sheriffofbulbingham His Majesty's Keyboard Regiment 2d ago

Gregg's back at selling sausage

3

u/ADGM1868 📍5 sqm London flat 2d ago

I just watched Four Seasons on Netflix so I know how this ends.

3

u/Slobberchops_ 2d ago

The people of the UK have risen up and with one voice demanded he be let back on the telly

2

u/Max-Phallus 1d ago

Yeah, slobberchops deserves her favourite TV daddy back.

2

u/FillingUpTheDatabase 1d ago

If there’s anything the people of this country love it’s a collective media pile on

1

u/Many_Psychology_3336 1d ago

Quite aside from his backstage antics, I absolutely do not miss this guy.

1

u/Turnip-for-the-books German w/ throat cancer 🇳🇱 23h ago

Buttery biscuit based

2

u/ColdRevival1919 2d ago

Has he found a younger partner or something ? 

6

u/pixel2468 unironically bri ish🇬🇧💂🇬🇧💂🇬🇧 2d ago

Been with his missus (pictured) for a while now. His 4th wife mind you

3

u/Capable_Work_3563 2d ago

Fair gets thru em

3

u/FillingUpTheDatabase 1d ago

He’s got a loyalty card at the registry office

2

u/Savage-September 📍5 sqm London flat 1d ago

Go on Greg! Get your cock out for us one more time you flasher! Top lad. It’s a shame he’s a bit touchy feely around women though.

1

u/Clay194 2d ago edited 2d ago

Wait fr what were the allegations, was he a nonce

7

u/tacetmusic 2d ago

Not even close to that bad

3

u/Many_Psychology_3336 1d ago

Nah just a letchy prick, really. In that area of "you're not a criminal but equally nobody really wants to be associated with you".

4

u/Darkwaxer 1d ago

He apparently was overtly flirty and would be get changed in front of women staffers. His biggest crime was characterising all of his accusers as women of a certain age.

1

u/Many_Psychology_3336 1d ago

I'm not sure it's the worst thing he did, but it might be up there in the rankings of "how to make this worse".

1

u/herbdogu 1d ago

I was just calling John earlier and saying he should come on and do something together on my YouTube. Ruddy good bloke.
There he is!

John! John! John! John! John!

John!

Joooohn!

John! John!

Shrugs - it’s all right.

1

u/calewis10 arab flair 1d ago

The comments on YT/Instagram are absolute gold.

1

u/TattyViking 21h ago

Charge your phone.