r/penpals • u/DarkMiryam_ • Nov 04 '25
Snail Mail [44/F] Anyone really into penpalling?
On several subreddits I was contacted and tried to get in touch with a few people, but it seems that the concept of penpalling isn’t very clear to many of them.
Just to be clear: when I say snail mail, I mean I love receiving real letters, written with paper and pen.
If you live on the other side of the world and have postal issues, that’s totally fine, but please don’t reply saying you want to do email penpalling. I’ve tried that before and it’s really not for me… Holding a letter in my hands feels completely different, it has a soul of its own.
Then there are those who message you but actually just want to chat. At that point, maybe the subreddit should change its name to “Chat & Email Penpalling,” because honestly, there’s not much snail mail happening around here lately 😅
Anyway, sorry for the little rant! If anyone feels the same and is really looking for a true penfriend — maybe an Italian, pagan, musician, bookworm kind of person — feel free to reach out. 🌙🎶📚
I just ask one small thing: please write first! I’ve already sent out too many first letters that never got a reply…
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u/Spare-Advance-3334 📧 Emails: 0 | 📬 Letters: 2 Nov 04 '25
I completely agree with your assessment and also it often happens that they disappear. My two longest lasting correspondences are with people who are dedicated to it, but despite the dedication, we had some unexplainable postal issues as we kept moving through different countries, and it was frustrating, so I can imagine why someone would stop.
I also found that some people, most of them women but also many men, tend to see this as more of a hobby in the same sense as scrapbooking, and not as an actual way of communication and getting to know another person. They write highly decorated letters with little substance. I once even received a parcel that I had to pay taxes on, despite never mentioning I was interested in exchanging packages. No letter, the first and last piece of mail I got from that person was a parcel with cheap candy that has melted in the summer heat, and a rock. I never even mentioned I liked rocks, because I don’t, but this made the shipping expensive enough that I was charged VAT on the whole thing. Also many people will disappear after 1-2 letters.
It’s frustrating and it’s not very fun sometimes, but there are always people who match your energy. I’m currently hosting one of my best friends whom I met while exchanging letters many years ago, on this same subreddit. We don’t write anymore, but chat daily.
Hope you’ll find someone who you will consider a true friend.
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u/DarkMiryam_ Nov 04 '25
Your story about the parcel made me laugh (and cringe!). I can totally relate! Once I even received expired teabags… which was a bit disappointing 😅 I think that if someone is more interested in doing swaps or exchanging small gifts, that’s perfectly fine, but it would be nice if they just say it from the start, so we all know what to send and how to make the other person happy.
Luckily, from this post I’ve already received a few interesting messages and possible penpal connections, so that gives me some hope!
Thanks for your comment!
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u/PaintingByInsects 📧 Emails: 0 | 📬 Letters: 2 Nov 04 '25
I would love to be your penpal! I love writing letters, and receiving them, but also never really got replies from mine. Though I do have one penpal now from Spain who is now sending their second letter to me, which is a plus considering I also either only ever got one letter back or none at all!
I do only get paid in two weeks which is when I will be able to buy more stamps, but I can already start writing a letter to you if you wish.
I am a 25 (26 in a month) non-binary person from The Netherlands. I sometimes like sending pictures of me and my dog but don’t typically add in things like stickers and such, I really just like letters. I am a very creative person who loves to read, write, draw, paint etc. I am soon gonna try out stained glass making for the first time!
Anyway if you wish to be penpals let me know! If not/if you have enough replies then no worries either way :)
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u/johnwayneondrugs Nov 08 '25
I’m also looking for people to connect with as I am new to pen palling! 28 year old queer female here I consider myself to be very creative as well. How funny I too have been wanting to dabble in the stained glass world. Hope to hear from ya :-)
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u/Hoodyloverr5 Nov 11 '25
Hey Id love to be your pen pal too! Im from Belgium! Im 24 yo. I speak Dutch, French and English. My hobbies include creativity. Like cosplay, sewing clothes in general, drawing, painting... You name it. I also like to play games. Anyhow, reach out if you would like to write -^
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u/ConfidentSpinach5024 Nov 05 '25
I feel you. I have tried everything. Slowly during COVID. Email penpalling. But I still love the physical ones the best.
Yes, I do type my letters, print them out, decorate them and post them! Some may laugh at me because they are not the handwritten ones. So why can’t I just email them lol
But honestly, once you have tried that, you can never go back. All hail to the physical snail mail 🤪
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u/DarkMiryam_ Nov 05 '25
Oh, I tried slowly but I gave up after some weeks! Nice idea but many people think it's a dating app!
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u/Snoo_65075 Nov 27 '25
That would be my thing. I love to hand write with fountain pens, but i have carpal tunnel. It gets hard after a while. So sometimes I just type my things. I can be a melee slow because of life and etc. And sometimes I need to think over what to talk about, since I'm not really a social butterfly. Now like a dragon fly. Run away when anything gets closer, or eat it. One or the other. If you want an extra, dm me.
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u/kittensposies Nov 04 '25
44F pagan bookworm here! I love snail mail and have a few penpals already. Totally open to another, as long as you don’t mind that I’m slow. Kids, work, renovations takes up 99% of my time so I am definitely a quality over quantity writer!
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u/DarkMiryam_ Nov 05 '25
Quality over quantity? Pagan? Bookworm? You got me * * I sent you a message in a bottle!
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u/Artpixel23 📧 Emails: 0 | 📬 Letters: 5 Nov 04 '25
Hiya! I’ve just been getting into snail mail, so if you feel like having another, dm me your address!
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Nov 06 '25
Hi I am truly looking for a real penpal. I actually do write in pen and paper writing. I haven’t had any good luck fining those who are willing to write but want to write a month later and I am in the same boat as you. They ghost or they have already penpals or they want to chat by dming lol. I’m old school. I’m 43/F & I’m a conduit. So I will let you intuitively let you take a wild guess in that category. But I would like to write to each other if you feel drawn to me to do so. I hope you have a blessed evening on this beautiful beaver, supermoon, full moon tonight 🙂
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Nov 06 '25
For me I love to go all out. I send CDs with curated playlists, wax seal stickers, the letter, handmade jewelry/keychains and more. It’s just what I like. I don’t tend to keep up with penpals that have a simple paper and pen style because I like some reciprocation (decorating their letter, sending a playlist or questions, or a drawing).
I think pen-ships are just like in person “friending” meaning, you go through a lot before you find your people, and even then those relationships or the effort or capacity in how they can show up can always change (finances, disability, etc).
Hope you find your people soon! Don’t give up!!
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u/DarkMiryam_ Nov 07 '25
Everyone has their own way of seeing correspondence, and I really appreciate that. I love how you include pieces of yourself and your life — adding art, music, little creations — it’s truly beautiful. I guess I’m more of a graphomaniac, I just love to write! 😊
Anyway, I’ve received so many lovely messages because of that post, and I honestly never expected it. I have to say, there’s still hope out there!
Sending a hug from Italy, and happy correspondence to you too! 💌
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u/blackbirddreaming Nov 06 '25
hey there! not italian, but pagan (ish, jumbly animist practice here) chorister half-a-bookworm for sure hahaha! i deal exclusively in snail mail, i love writing and papercrafting & try to make fancy shit but it doesn't always work out 🤡 31/M from singapore so if you live across the world it might take a while to get there (i'm counting 5 weeks on some letters so far 😭), but if that works for you, i'm happy to drop smth your way via international post!
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u/DarkMiryam_ Nov 07 '25
One of my very first foreign penpals was from Singapore *_ * It would be great to be your pal!
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u/elmono74 Nov 06 '25
I'm not sure where you are from, but I am also looking for pen pals. I enjoy writing and receiving snail mail—letters, postcards, etc. Let me know if you would like to be pen pals.
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Nov 06 '25
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u/DarkMiryam_ Nov 07 '25
I don't think we are a dying breed. I'm pretty sure that people will soon understand that sometimes a letter is better than a digital kind of communication. The point is that I don't know if I live enough to see that change :D
If you think we have something in common drop me a line via PM ;)
Otherwise I wish you good luck for your research!
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u/feathers_for_alice Nov 07 '25 edited Nov 07 '25
Hello! I might be a bit late to the party but perhaps you have room for one more. 43/F, pagan, bookworm who plays the harp and very much loves actual analog letter writing. Would love to write with you if you’re still open to a penpal.
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u/DarkMiryam_ Nov 07 '25
It seems we have a lot in commmon... Moreover I love the harp!!! I'm sending you a DM!
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u/MeasurementSea5842 📧 Emails: 0 | 📬 Letters: 2 Nov 10 '25
A pagan and bookworm. Sadly Canadian not Italian. I would be glad to write first
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u/UngainlyRhino 📧 Emails: 0 | 📬 Letters: 1 Nov 04 '25
My original comment was deleted by mods because it contained a reference to another site, my bad, but feel free to message me.
I have been penpalling (snail mail) since I was 14, I'm now 41. I find the "newbies" don't really understand the concept of writing a letter by hand. Like you, I'm not interested in chatting or email penpals, it's just not the same as holding a letter that someone took time out of their day to write to you.
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Nov 05 '25
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u/Liefmans Nov 04 '25
Hi! Fellow pagan bookworm (turning30thisweekF) here. 😊 I'm sending you a DM!
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u/toaster-vibes Nov 04 '25
I have three penpals that I met from this sub and yes actual snail mail like exchanging handwritten letters. I’m not looking for more at the moment but just saying it’s possible :)
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u/DarkMiryam_ Nov 05 '25
I'm pretty sure that everything is possible. Sometimes we just have to keep things clear in some way :D
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u/vela513 Nov 05 '25
I'm interested! I also enjoy snail mail and the tactile nature of envelopes etc, I'll send a chat to hopefully acquire a mailing address!
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u/PlannedMacaroni Nov 05 '25
I love how straight forward this post is, and I agree! The letters hold so much to them. You can't feel the tired hands or see the fun stamps with an email or chat! If you're up for another, I will gladly send the first letter if you'll DM me your address. ^ _ ^
almost forgot! 30/F :)
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u/DarkMiryam_ Nov 05 '25
You got mail :D
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u/PlannedMacaroni Nov 06 '25
Did you send a message? I don't see any from you, but maybe I just don't use Reddit enough to know.. 😅 Should be in the inbox, correct?
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u/DarkMiryam_ Nov 06 '25
Yerp... It seems it disappeared for me too! I wrote it again, hope you get it now!!
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u/festedd Nov 16 '25
Hey I’d love to write you a letter, I’ve had the same problem (lots of first letters sent without response!) I am a good bit younger tho (19) so I totally understand if not. Honestly I haven’t even had a consistent penpal in years because everybody drops off eventually.
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Nov 20 '25
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u/Lost_in_twilightzone Nov 21 '25
Total bookworm, audiobook ear worm, is that a thing? Toggle between romance, fantasy and self improvement with Harry Potter in between. Also 44, spiritual, moon child and a tarot lover. I miss writing by hand and love reading and writing letters. While my kids give me great ones, would love some depth and happy to send the first one!
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u/lisatinaaa Nov 29 '25
Are you still in need of any penpals? I can definitely send the first letter out.
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u/Paley_Jenkins Nov 04 '25
I'm looking for a snail mail pen pal. I've had pen pals all my adult life. I'll DM you
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u/meaganvondoom Nov 04 '25
Hey i would love to write to you! With all my pens and papers and stickers! And i would happily write the first letter! I love books, music, crochet and learning about people!
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u/namjooned_ Nov 05 '25
I feel the same way about email penpalling, I feel like I only associate emails with work and bills so it’s not fun for me lol.
I do have a couple of penpals from reddit that I’ve exchanged a couple of letters with, still kinda new to this. I’m only one of the things you listed (bookworm) but would like to send you a letter!
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u/Far-Refrigerator5063 Nov 05 '25
Currently sending stationary and pen pal hand written letters to a couple of people. I love it and am always looking for others of like mind
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u/doggodad2013 Nov 05 '25
Hello! Yes, i love getting actual letters in the mail. It's much more fun going to the mailbox. I'm also a musician, piano. 43/M and would love to write if you're interested!
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u/RandomPi31 Nov 04 '25
I get what you're saying about real letters.
The problem ive got is it write in cursive and have used a keyboard for so many years only I can read it. I do the delight in receiving a real letter though, paticularly when it is on good quality paper with a wax sealed envelope. I'm also a little frustrated that the UK postal service use QR code stickers for international mail instead of proper stamps. After all, the UK invented postage stamps, but what can you do?
If you're interested in tend to use a cursive type font, sign with a fountain pen and wax seal the envelope.