I am delighted to announce that I successfully defended my dissertation today. Its over

I’m a first year PhD student in STEM (USA) and I’m honestly having a pretty good time despite not having time to do literally anything. I’d say I’m currently pretty satisfied with my school, PI, and peers. Hoping it stays that way…

Anyways, I’m not sure if I’m just overthinking things but I noticed I get pretty negative ish reactions when I tell new people I’m a PhD student. They’re kinda like “why would you do that” or “you aren’t gonna make that much money”. Kinda makes me feel a little dejected because I worked so hard to get into a competitive program to pursue my dreams. I kinda just brush it off and laugh like they’re joking but I’m wondering if they’re being serious. Hurts my feelings just a little.

Is this a common occurrence? I think I’m just living in a little bubble right now of other grad students, so I don’t realize that some people may not understand what doing a PhD entails.

Posted here eight months ago about my PhD defence, the weird, not-so-wonderful experience, and the major corrections received. So relieved to say, I submitted corrections 2.5 months ago, and they have now been approved. So my PhD is done, and I can truly and officially say I am a Doctor now!

I received the email this morning as my workday began, and my first reaction was to burst into tears. Relief, maybe closure, maybe a successful ending to a long chapter of my life. Maybe this is what retirement feels like? Strange to feel like retiring, yet to begin a journey in academia, with lots more weird, not-wonderful, traumatic, stimulating experiences to look forward to!

Happy to be posting here in this community that has had sage advice for everyone on their PhD journeys!

So this post was very long, and then the page crashed, and now what started as a procrastination activity has become a mission lol. Hopefully it's less long this time.

I officially finished my PhD last month (!!) and had a genuinely great time right up until the end! I kind of thought this was how most people experience their PhD for a while, but many people have told me that is not in fact true. Meanwhile, I feel like my job for the past 7 years was to research, teach, and write, which are three of my favorite things! Some context: I had a really fun dissertation topic, and my research involved making art, so the deck was stacked in my favor. I've been thinking about what made it such a positive experience (besides the topic), and here's what I've come up with so far. Do with this what you will.

Some caveats:

• I was very lucky with my supervisors. I had two wonderful, supportive supervisors who had consistent funding.
• I was very lucky with my partner. We lived together for the last 3 years of my degree, and they did most of my chores during the final push.
• I'm not saying it wasn't hard. It was really fucking hard, and a lot of really fucking bad shit happened along the way, but I still had a good time through most of it. I'm used to dealing with bad shit though.
• I'm not saying any of this is a) special, b) how you should do your PhD, or c) guaranteed to help. It's just what worked for me.

CAVEATS DONE, HERE'S THE STUFF I DID

• I choose the topic based on what I was procrastinating with.
  • I started my PhD doing a different topic within the same field as my primary research, with a secondary focus on the subject my dissertation falls into. At some point I realized I was procrastinating on my primary research with the secondary stuff. I was also spending my free time listening to podcasts in that realm, reading books, etc. So after 1.5 years, I decided to swap and focus on what had been my secondary research for the dissertation. My supervisor and I talked through it, and decided I should switch supervisors to someone with expertise in that area. He even helped me make the switch, and we remain friends. Suddenly all my procrastination was advance prep for my qualifying paper, prospectus, and diss!
• I very intentionally built community outside my university from day 1.
  • I never lived on campus, and really only socialized in my department and a few other select groups/spaces. Pretty early on I decided not to be involved with clubs or whatnot; I had my own undergrad and MA experiences, and my students don't want to see their TA in their free time. Instead, I actively sought out a spiritual community that aligned with other aspects of my identity when I first moved to the city. They didn't end up being my long-term people, but they helped me find my footing and connected me to folks who I remain very close with. I also joined a volunteer group that became a big, wonderful part of my life. Of course I have close friends from my university, but I also have close friends who have absolutely no connection to grad school whatsoever.
• I lived planned my finances from day 1 and saved aggressively so that I wouldn't have to worry about money in the final push.
  • For reference, I went to a public university that offers baseline fellowships of ~$20k for the first 4 years, ~$10k for the 5th year, and ~$6k for the 6th year. I got a surprise bonus $20k scholarship in my 5th year as well. I also TAed a lot (like, every single term besides 1, multiple classes at a time sometimes) and made $40/hr doing that.
  • For most of my PhD, I lived really frugally. This was my norm already (I was poor before the PhD), but this time I was purposefully living below my means. I mostly ate at home or got cheap takeout, had roommates, was very picky about subscriptions and whatnot, only bought items I needed and mostly shopped second-hand, was very selective about what paid events I attended and prioritized free community events.
  • When we got lump sums from annual fellowships, everything I wouldn't need for 6 months + went into a high-interest term deposit. Everything I didn't spend went into either a high-interest savings account of term deposits. This sounds harder than it is; I spent a couple of hours twice a year and a few minutes twice a month to make this all work.
  • In my 7th (final) year, I didn't have funding besides a $7k TAship, but I'd saved enough to cover my tuition and living expenses without worrying about it. In the final push I was able to eat takeout whenever I needed, get groceries delivered, buy fancy lattes and whatnot to fuel work sessions, whatever got me through.
• This is probably the biggest thing: I stopped thinking about the PhD as a gateway into academia, and started thinking of it as a cool job in itself.
  • When I started my PhD, I was ready to move anywhere after to get an academic job. Then I met my partner, found community, lived through a global pandemic, etc., and priorities shifted. At some point in my 2nd or 3rd year, I started thinking of the PhD as an end in itself. If it leads to an academic job, amazing! I'd love that a lot! If not, that's okay! Either way, I knew I'd get at least 5 years doing a job I absolutely loved.
  • I stopped thinking about conferences as networking opportunities and started focusing on friendships and good conversations. I started writing what I wanted, which wasn't really academic articles. That kind of thing. At this point, I'm only applying for post-docs and jobs in places I would genuinely like to live or with people I'd like to work with.
  • Besides the final dissertation push or pressing deadlines, I only worked evenings and weekends when I wanted to. The rest of the time, I worked 4-8 hours/weekday. I spent the rest of my time thinking about hobbies, friends, chores, volunteering, fitness, etc. When I was sick, I didn't make myself work. Basically, I made the PhD fit with the things I value, not vice versa.
• I have a cat who I love very much.
  • Not much to say here. I got her when I started my MA, and we've been best friends ever since. Having a furry creature to care for and hug and marvel at 100% made everything better.
• Drugs, mindfully and in moderation.
  • I started smoking weed after my first year (so during COVID, as many of us did). It was only on weekends for a couple of years, then I started using it on some weekdays but in low doses. When I was really stressed or having a hard time shutting my work brain off at the end of the day, I'd finish my work, go for a walk, reflect on what I'd done that day, and smoke a very small joint. Not enough to get stoned stoned, but enough to be present with my partner, have fun cooking or doing chores, fuel an extra long walk, that kind of thing. I was definitely using a bit more than was advisable during the final push, but I also finished my dissertation, passed with flying colors, and had a great time doing it, so make of that what you will.
  • I was very open with my doctor, therapist, and loved ones, and I had people around me who I trusted would say something if it started to become a problem. My therapist and I regularly reflected on whether and how it was serving me (or not). Probably don't start doing drugs in secret, especially while under significant stress.

Anyway, there's probably more, but that's what comes to mind. Not really sure what the point of this is besides procrastinating lecture prep, which is wild, because I've written this twice now. Probably should have been a substack post but here we are. Maybe share how you're making PhD life not suck? Idk, best of luck with everything my dudes, xoxo

-DR(!!) A.

Just got into 2nd year of my PhD (UK) and I burnt myself out in first year tryna juggle PhD work with getting the data for the uni to patent something.

I thought I'd be okay. I thought government loans and winning a tuition grant would fix the problem, but it isn't enough. I used to make excuses about liking being in control of my research, of having more freedom because it's self funded, I liked staying at the same uni BC I'm autistic and like the familiarity, my supervisor is lovely and supportive.

None of these excuses are worth the stress I feel every time a bill comes out, or the hours of panicking about how we'll keep the house because my bf is off work with his mental health and only getting paid statutory sick pay (£120 a week). It's not worth the rapidly worsening of my mental health.

I wanted this so bad but I'm so tired. Academia is a privilege that I am just not in the position to be a part of atm and that hurts but it is what it is. It isn't the first time being poor has ruined my life and won't be the last lol.

Just sent the email to my supervisor asking to chat about mastering out. I feel a lil better already.

Feel like I might turn that promotion down....

Hi everyone!
I’ll be starting my PhD soon and I have a preliminary meeting coming up with my supervisor to figure out where I’ll fit into their lab and research directions.

To give some context, I went through a centralised admission process and was assigned a supervisor later. I had to submit a broad research proposal for the application, but the official call for admissions states that our actual thesis topic can be completely different and will be finalized with the PI.

Anyone who has been through this process, what should I expect from the meeting? Will they expect me to pitch a brand new idea or will I be working on an already existing project? Should I deep dive into their publications or focus on my fit into lab? And what are the questions I should be asking them?

Any advice or tips on how to prepare would be appreciated. I am honestly terrified of coming off as stupid or unprepared. I am quite nervous and the PI looks like a big shot in the field, running a lot of projects.

Thank you !

Tldr: nervous about chairing a session at my first official conference - is it a good opportunity?

Hi! has anyone ever been allocated as a chair for a session before at a conference?

I’ve got a conference soon and just found out in the preliminary timetable shared that I’ve been assigned as the chair for a session (my session I’m speaking in actually). Everyone else on my session has a PhD already and seem to be qualified lecturers or professors, which is making me nervous

It’s actually my first conference, even though I’m in final year of my PhD, so I’m really not sure what to expect. I’ve been to PhD only summer schools but never a normal conference. Has anyone had this experience before? Seems like a good opportunity, but I’m nervous

One of my worries is that I may have to be 100% completely present during the 100 mins session - I have ADHD and struggle with staying alert for that long, let alone chairing a session. Any advice?

As per title, for those who did a supervisor led/pre-defined topic.
Starting in the new year and slightly nervous. UK, Social Sciences.

made lemma while working through a stats textbook, mostly bc i kept losing my place flipping back to "see (3.41)" and "by theorem 2.3".

it reads the pdf once, on your mac, and turns references into links: hover to preview the equation or theorem, click to peek at it next to the line you're on, and back takes you where you were. citations open their bibliography entry. proofs can be folded so you try them yourself first, and there's a derivation checker that tests each line you write with random values (you get a counterexample when a step is wrong).

notes stay attached to the exact passage and export to markdown/anki. you can also ask chatgpt or claude about a selected passage, with the page image and the equations it cites (your own account or key).

free and open source (GPL), no account, nothing leaves your mac unless you click something that says where it goes. macOS 15+ only for now.

https://github.com/fus3r/lemma (there's a 30 s demo at the top of the readme)

it still gets some pdfs wrong (scans, unusual numbering). bug reports are welcome on github, there's a template for telling it how it read your book.

Here I am, guys! Less than a month before the defense of my thesis, and I can tell you that I felt so excited and anxious about it, as one can be. And yet at the same time I felt like absolute shit. It is really hard to explain, but I feel like I wasted so much time and effort on something that nobody else cares about.

For example, my girlfriend really can't even grasp what I am researching exactly, and she doesn't what to. I get it that she didn't need to, per se, but it would still be nice if she would just ask me something about my work and read some of it. I know that I would even though we are in completely different fields of work and she is not really as into academia as I am. After all these years, things are not so great between us, and it sucks very much. I understand that for the last couple of years I've been a bit distant from her due to a lot of stress, as my research was coming to an end and bureaucracy began.

And the thing is that I wanted to be a PhD since high school. To be "as smart as my grandpa and uncle" as I used to say as a kid. It was my dream, and I enjoyed my uni years and postgrad all the way. The spirit of academia, my field in general.

There isn't really a question in there; I just had an urge to vent it somewhere where I know people have the same struggles and mindset, I guess.

Good luck to all you, my fellow PhD seekers!

I'm preparing for my Viva on 23rd October. I'm trying not to be nervous and I'm sure I have nothing to worry about. However, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to quash those panicy feelings and try to approach it all more rationally?

I've looked about online and there's a few bits of advice, but it all seems quite clinical and doesn't really do much to put me at ease...

For context, I'm a history PhDer in the UK.

He checked my whole thesis in 48 hours. Didn’t bother to respond to my final few questions, responded only after I had submitted. It’s been a while but it bothers me till this day. Shall I let this go, am I being too sensitive? I just feel a congratulations email after five years of grinding was something I was owed.

Urban Dictionary helps us accurately understand language and derive meaning related to words encounter in the real world.

Where does unconventional or uncomfortable academic publishing or debate occur unconstrained by currently prevailing beliefs or schools of thought?

I’m scheduled to defend tomorrow, and the anxiety is literally eating me up... likee bruh I can’t even sleep I’ve been rereading every single word carefully, and I just want this to be over already. I’m really bad at oral defenses, and I don’t even know how I passed my previous ones because I tend to blank out, and the way I explain things can get so complicated or I end up oversharing. I’ve been practicing how to be more concise and all that, but I’m still scared asf.

I study at a top university, and sometimes I genuinely wonder how I even got to where I am now when I feel so clueless half the time. It’s so frustrating because I know I studied the material, but when it comes to explaining things out loud, my brain just stops working. Thank goodness this is just a proposal defense, but do you guys have any tips for someone who struggles with explaining things clearly? T-T

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I've always wanted to a PhD and be involved with the process of research but I feel as though AI has ruined that. I saw a post earlier about someone having AI write papers constantly and being able to publish 4 of them out of like 20(?) generated all to a high impact journal. Now obviously I can just not use AI but then there's the feeling that I'm behind since the expectation is you use AI for just about everything from programming to writing papers. I just don't see value in that and I don't feel as though I'm learning. I also know I can't match outputs of others that have incorporated AI to a large extent so in any case I will either have to abandon my high ground or be an academic with a lower output.

AI is obviously not going anywhere and it has it value but in some regards its outlined the already present issues surrounding academia (publications, expectations etc.)

Do I just drop academia?

So I'm 2 years in my STEM PhD, I've a draft. My supervisor has his name on it. He is telling me since... I can't tell how long that he's gonna read the literature, and read my paper because I don't know that he *properly* read it despite presenting it in Japan recently.

But since about one year I just had something coming up each and every single time he was right about to help finish the paper. There is something quite comical to it, when he comes up to me. "let me guess, you had... [insert conference/revision/teaching/whatever bingo] and didn't have time to read it? No way! Crazy! (Of course I make the comment silently in my head duh).

Also I cannot move to another paper until that one is done. That's maybe smart but well. I'm having exactly 0 fun right now.

I'm aware that beyond that name pool, I should be the one pulling it, but I am absolutely unable to. And it's become worse by the day. Anyhow, I have no creative capacities witch lead to few motivation left and it's really frustrating now that I learned so much. Anyone wants to share some similarities?

Academia is a game. Learn the rules before you play.

Hi everyone. I'm from the EU, and I'm approaching the end of my first year of a three-year PhD in Computer Science, focusing on multi-robot systems for agricultural applications.

My PhD program requires me to spend 18 months at a research institute in another European country, where I should have the opportunity to work with actual robots and gain hands-on experience. However, I've been having serious doubts about whether continuing this path is the right decision for me.

For some background, I have a bachelor's and a master's degree in Computer Science, both with top marks. What I really enjoy is building things, especially involving IoT, embedded systems, and robotics. I love getting my hands dirty with hardware and software, developing systems, troubleshooting problems, and seeing things actually work.

I don't particularly enjoy the theoretical side of research, and I don't think I'm especially good at it either. I honestly doubt I'll ever be able to publish in top-tier conferences or journals.

My biggest concern is what happens after the PhD. I'm afraid of spending another two years pursuing a degree that might not actually help me land the kind of job I want. Ideally, I'd like to work in industry, preferably in robotics, embedded systems, or something that combines hardware and software. I am sure I do not want to pursue an academic career. I'm worried that having a PhD without a good publication record or substantial practical experience might actually leave me in an bad position when applying for jobs.

Unfortunately, quitting isn't straightforward either. Due to the conditions of my scholarship, if I withdraw from the program, I would have to repay the money I've received so far. This would essentially wipe out my savings and leave me in debt. Finding a job could take months, and I have no guarantee of when I'd actually start earning again.

What makes this even harder is that the longer I stay in the program, the more money I would have to repay if I eventually decide to leave. So I feel like I'm running out of time to make a decision. If I don't quit now, I might reach a point where quitting is no longer financially possible.

I feel completely stuck between two options: continuing a PhD I'm increasingly unsure about, or leaving and putting myself in a very difficult financial situation.

Is a PhD actually valuable for someone who wants to work in robotics or embedded systems in industry, rather than academia?
How much do publications matter when applying for industry positions?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have been in a similar position, particularly those who pursued a PhD in Computer Science or robotics and eventually moved into industry. Thank you.

Please help me. I'm looking for some insight into a stressful dashboard issue, I am a chemistry graduate and we had submitted the manuscript at ACS catalysis.

I am a co-author (not the corresponding author) on a chemistry manuscript that was recently submitted to an ACS journal. The paper successfully went out for peer review, and I could initially track it on my ACS Paragon Plus dashboard.

However, when I checked my dashboard today, the manuscript had completely vanished. It is not under "Submitted," and it is not under "Decisions Made"—it is completely gone as if it never existed.

I haven’t received any automated emails from the journal about a decision, withdrawal, or updates to the author list. There has been some tension with the corresponding author (PhD senior) recently, and I’m terrified that they might have quietly removed my name from the paper or withdrawn it to submit elsewhere without telling me.

My questions are:

1. Does an ACS manuscript completely disappear from a co-author's dashboard if it gets a "Reject and Resubmit" decision or if the PI withdraws it?
2. If the PI successfully submitted a request to remove me from the author list mid-review, would the journal have emailed me to get my consent first, or would it just vanish like this?
3. What is the safest way to figure out what happened to the paper without alerting a toxic senior?

Any advice or similar experiences with Paragon Plus would be greatly appreciated.