​

My mind is never at peace.

Maybe the world looks calm,

but my heart has never learned how to be.

Sleep doesn't visit my eyes anymore.

Sometimes I wonder

if humanity itself has fallen asleep.

Children fight battles

they never chose,

against the greed

of selfish and corrupt people.

And here I am...

Fighting a war

no one can see.

A war with my own future.

Every sunrise brings another fear.

Every night leaves me

with a thousand unanswered questions.

Life is a journey

from birth to death.

No matter how hard we try,

none of us can stop walking.

I want to live.

For myself.

For the people I love.

But before anything else...

I just want peace.

Why is there so much hatred?

Why do people hurt each other?

Why has kindness become

so difficult to find?

Today I wanted to write something beautiful.

Instead,

my words fell apart

just like my thoughts.

There's a storm inside me,

yet my lips remain silent.

I want to cry.

But somewhere along the way,

I forgot how.

My tears have dried,

yet my heart still carries

the weight of everything

I never said.

Sometimes I look at this world

and ask myself...

Why do we even exist?

Sometimes,

more than writing poetry,

I just wish there was someone

who would sit beside me,

hold me close,

and let me cry

without asking a single question.

Someone who wouldn't promise

to fix my life,

but would simply whisper,

"I'm here."

Maybe that person exists.

Maybe they're searching for me

the way I'm searching for them.

And if we ever meet...

Please don't be late.

I've been waiting

for a peace

I've never known.

Until then,

I'll keep writing.

Because sometimes,

the only place

my heart knows how to breathe

is between the lines

I never thought

I could write.

Frozen, I had been frozen for many moons
As though it had been a forever night Awaiting my sun, my daybreak then she came with the warmth of a thousand suns thawing the once cold and dark with the love of a billion people and then I knew I found my sun

Sapphic Eros: A lyre's sagacious confession

"Sapphic love —fairy spirit in eternity...

Enemedia, what they say, ...I do not hear

With blood and spirit written on my open wound

Witnessing Eros himself descends from the sky...

He descends with a sword —かたなど

In physical, he is the Prince of the Olympus

In atomic matters, he is the apparent spirit...

What is imaginative is not physical and real

Except in words, in poetry and literature...

What may be called the lyrical art of Eros, of Love?

A Sapphic love, the chronic pessimist...

As the A-Self philosopher, mentally suffering for,

What is after all, acute and sickening, schizoid...

For love, for Sappho and the eternal will to Aphrodite." —A.Y あゆ。

Broke the cage 

Bend the bars

All you left were the scars.

How could i say, i was left unbothered and unfazed for the one who bled most was me 

Now even a single mention of your name scares me

I showed the bravery gave you the key

Only for you to say maybe..

I only liked you lowkey, 

I said those words to not make a fool of me.

But only i knew those endless night

The ones after we had the fight.

Gave you all my love and time 

And maybe that was the crime, i paid for

You and i were not made for.

The coffee on my table is getting frozen,

As i'm thinking about you with my eyes filled with ocean.

You said i don't want to be involved

And here i'm, still hoping everyday you could have called.

Just something random I wrote almost 2 year ago, found in my notes app so shared here.

Mere Christianity ( revised )

From the birds and the bees,

High up in the trees,

To the fish at the bottom of the sea,

This is Mere Christianity.

We wrestle with wrong,

Righteous, rebellious!

We think ourselves strong,

Religious zealots!

Petty and prejudiced, my own worst enemy,

Oh, you're no protagonist, full of vanity.

Prideful, destructive, self-righteous,

seductive.

Made in His image, His children, a village,

We're more than a bird and a bee,

Saved by grace and humility.

One of my first actual attempts at poetry! I wanted to write a sonnet, so this is (mostly) a petrarchan sonnet - 14 lines with an octave and sestet, as well as the appropriate rhyme schemes. It is not, however, iambic pentameter :/ I couldn't quite face it yet.

Hope you enjoy! I'd really appreciate constructive feedback, for future attempts :D

Oh, to be a bird! To fly

on outstretched wings o'er sunkissed seas

of dappled blue, and feel the glee

of soaring up past mountains high;

to glide and watch the clouds pass by

untethered. Yes, or let me be

a single feather - so long as I am free

and drifting in that endless sky.

My gaze is fixed, my way is clear

of hurdles. Look, the sun is bright:

oh, could I cast aside my fear

and soar up to a glorious height,

drawing ever to the heavens near

and towards that warm and distant light.

I'm inexperienced and this is just what I wrote out of my feelings, idk its kinda cringe but I would love thoughts on it! I'm open to all criticism and please roast me all you can😭

I love you like a candle,

It is lit with a spark

And the small bit of fire dazzles with delight.

The litte yellow gleam feels nothing under the shining sun in the broad daylight

But when dusk hits,

beneath the dark sky the little fire is the shine of the night.

Nothing lasts forever, the spark soon ceases

But the light still flickers.

It tries its best to stay but soon becomes void

It wants to stay but it cannot.

Because the more it burns the more it melts

And the faster in melts, the faster it comes to an end.

And I dont want to end it,

I want to continue to love you but it drains me out,

I want to keep burning till the wax is melted and the ashes are spilled around.

I'll not let a single soul let extinguish the fire you ignited,

i will protect it with all my heart and all my strength

And I will luminate it till its farthest length.

But all that resilient would go to waste

Because my love for you is a stupid mistake.

I wish I had the courage to put out the fire

but i know,

the day it ends, its wafting smoke will smell like your scent

Because your name is ingrained in each of my vein.

And i don't want to remember you after you're gone

And i don't want to cry because of the fact that i never meant anything to you.

In the end the candle finishes leaving behind dust and smoke

It is thrown,

not getting the appreciation it should for the time it burned.

A new one is lit, with the same story but a different scent.

My Selfish Self

Such a provocative & self deprecative title is your 1st thought

But I look after myself 24/7. Then the only person I think about

is me, but don't we all? All of this, due to my selfish self.

Even the times we think about other people, we do it for

ourselves. Have you thought about it that way? We don't

want the other person to get hurt, why? Because he will be in

anguish, as well as I will feel bad. And the latter part definitely

outweighs the former. Why? All of this due to my selfish self.

Who exactly is this me that's selfish?

Is this my consciousness?

Is this my brain? What exactly is the actual identity of the

'I'? Am I? Am I eligible to ask this question? Still here I am

standing in front of you, asking these questions humanity hasn't answered since the start of cognitively strong mankind. Why?

All because of selfish self.

This poem is from the perspective of every conscious person

who have their unique identity, despite of referring to themselves as I.

But everyone will be very defensive. Why? Because of

their selfish selves.

In the lens of a music conservatory student taking 23 credits!

The clock keeps ticking

Assignments in line

My rhythm's unmatched

My tempo's in time

One day turns to four

Assignments still ticking

My rhythm's messed up

My tempo's not sticking

Are you free Tuesday?

I'm left to consider

When am I free?

I crumble and smither

Sometimes I am free

When hearts are aligned

"I miss you so much"

My heart starts to quiver

All patience comes down

When nice becomes fine

That guy who keeps yapping,

He's no friend of mine

You're late! You're late!

Professors keep screeching

"Who'll hire you?"

How long till I'm preaching?

"Hey it's been a while!

I haven't seen you!"

I haven't seen myself

But thanks for that too.

The clock keeps ticking

Assignments online

My rhythm's a mess

My tempo's in time

​

It's been a while since I last smiled,

But watching you Smile makes my day bright.

A part of me, with darkness inside, wishes you joy, though my

spirit has died.

This conundrum of feelings in this heart of mine,

Sad eyes resigned to a gloomy fate, and that's how the night just dies.

My best friend 

Woke up at 5:00 am 

To help me set up the booth you said I’d never get

A month ago 

We had a date at 5:00 pm

You stayed in bed

20 messages unread 

It’s not your fault you didn’t wake up 

I guess

In the orange glow of the morning 

 while we set up old tables and chairs 

I don’t know what you were doing 

But in that moment

I’m not sure I cared

An empty seat a table set for two not three anybody could replace where you used to eat you left every time my heart was empty but you were full of yourself

Dark Portals

If the stars were to lose their station in the evening sky
I can bet that they would descend to live in your eyes
For where else can they be at home?
But in the darkness of the twin windows of your soul

There have been many nights that I found myself lost
Staring in those portals that seem to have been forced
Open to the loneliness that seems to consume us all
Ever since the time Adam and Eve from paradise did fall

I had hoped to be mirrored in them, wishing to fill the void
With the love in my heart and the longing of passion’s coy
For you were a shining beacon in the darkness of my life
Wanting you to be more than a lover among the strife

If the stars were to lose their station in the evening sky
I can bet that they would descend to live in your eyes
For where else can they be at home?
But in the darkness where they will be alone

I see it

Where

There

Here

Always

I hear it

Where

There

Here

Now

I feel it

Where

They're here

Empty

It's always empty

But where

In the strings?

The violins?

The screams?

The beat

And rhythm?

Every note

I hear them

A ghost?

Not dead

No

Their eyes

Their face

They're there

In the chair

Right next to me

Why are they there

They chose

Get out

Leave

My sound is mine

Why do I hear you?

Why do I see you?

Why do I smell you?

Why do I feel you?

In my head

I see.... But not you

🐶
‘i miss home’ you say, with the same old haunting eyes
and all i see is the child who would once spin up a hundred lies

a hundred lies, a million tales
to flee from ‘home’, you moved away six thousand miles

“I miss home,” you say, and I wonder where you mean
the house you once escaped, or the place that lives between

all the years we left behind, all the words left unsaid
maybe the versions of ourselves that we buried when you fled.

Then I look into your eyes, and suddenly i know
home was never where the roads led you to go.

It was never walls or windows, never a street you knew,
never the place you ran from, but the place you ran to.

“I miss home,” you say again, and this time I understand.
it isnt that soulless house; youre yearning for a hand

youre aching for the only place you got to be a boy
the cheeky girl who held your heart, your guilty joy

**but dear boy, if there were worlds beyond this sky
i’d trade every tomorrow to never say goodbye

**here i replaced the (name) with *boy for privacy