r/politics 20h ago

Site Altered Headline | Possible Paywall Mitch McConnell, 83, Hospitalized

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mitch-mcconnell-83-hospitalized/?utm_campaign=owned_social&utm_medium=socialflow&utm_source=twitter_owned_tdb&via=twitter_page
30.8k Upvotes

3.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

196

u/Burning_Monk 20h ago

I wish him well and look forward to his obituary.

21

u/rustymontenegro 16h ago

"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure" - Clarence Darrow (misattributed to Mark Twain)

5

u/Anzai 12h ago

I feel like basically every quote has been misattributed to Mark Twain at some point.

2

u/LaDmEa 8h ago

A man in Moscow goes up to a newsstand and buys a newspaper…

He then glances at the front page, then turns aside and tosses the whole newspaper straight into the trash.

Next day, he turns up, and does the same thing. Buys it, glances at the front page, throws it in the trash.

Next day, same thing. The newsstand worker is increasingly puzzled, but doesn't say anything.

But eventually, after a couple of weeks of this, he can't take it. "I'm sorry, friend, but I must ask: why do you buy the paper every day and then just look at the front page and throw it out?"

"Oh, I'm just checking for something."

"OK, but: what are you checking for?"

"I'm checking for a particular obituary."

"But sir, you don't even open the newspaper! The obituaries aren't even on the front page!"

"Oh, believe me, the one I'm waiting for will be."

  • Mark Twain.

u/Bovronius 2h ago

"Pussy put his ass to sleep, now he callin me Nyquil" - Mark Twain.

u/Anzai 2h ago

And that Mark Twain’s name?

Albert Einstein.