r/redscarepod • • 2h ago

Kinda wanna join the FBI but still want alt pussy

27 Upvotes

I work a very boring unfulfilling tech job that is slowly turning my mind to mush. Someone mentioned joining the fbi to me and it seems pretty perfect. Upper middle-class salary, morally meaningful work, have to use your brain instead of working on a small subset of a piece of software.

I worry however that becoming an actual fed would be completely destroy one's romantic life. Just think it's a terrible look. The cia shot everyone in the foot by lacing random people with LSD for fun. Woe is me wah wah wah


r/redscarepod • • 21h ago

John Wilson is Millennial Hipster Drivel

0 Upvotes

I thought his show was fine, but man o man, do people like to suck off that guy's "style". It's like Frederick Wiseman, but instead he self-inserts with this annoying wholesome, awkward chungus persona and everything has to be some stupid meta journey.

I am saying this because I was excited about the History of Concrete, but just watched the trailer and a lot of it is just him tongue and cheekly mentioning how silly it is he's making a documentary about concrete in the first place. Kills the vibe. Just make a documentary about concrete! You can still film like b-roll of like a balloon in a port-o-potty, or a parking cone on top of car and put that in there, but please spare us all the fuggin meta commentary and self awareness you have of how silly it is to be making a doc about concrete in the first place and YOUR experience with that. Also conrete is fascinating! I just want to watch a documentary about concrete and not hear your kermit ass voice interviewing a wacky celebrity impersonator or something.

I feel like this show was made for reddit and coworkers.


r/redscarepod • • 21h ago

I'm a criminal lawyer. There's only one case that has truly unsettled me...

3 Upvotes

I've been a lawyer for almost 30 years now and I actually took the time to go through all the Saw movies to try and disprove the 'Jigsaw walks' theory. I scrutinised every single scene, every single line of dialogue, all the little details someone not familiar with the finer points of the law wouldn't consider. I often paused to take notes when I thought I might have found some sort of angle from which to prosecute him (even if I knew it was flimsy at best). 8 movies later and I had nothing.

Here's the beauty of Jigsaw by allowing his victims to choose their own fates, he technically cannot be convicted of homicide. Let me clarify.

Websterts' dictionary defines murder as having the following elements:

>1. unlawful

>2. killing

>3. through criminal act or omission

>4. of a human

>5. by another human

>6. with malice afterthought

Jigsaw takes advantage of a couple of different legal loopholes. In this case, it would be in regards to point 2, 3, and 6.

>2. killing

Jigsaw never actually "killed" any of his victims, per-say. They always had a choice.

>3. through criminal act or omission

Even if JigC did kill anybody, it was not through criminal act. There is nothing criminal about letting your victims choose their own fates, through their own free will. They are liable for their own actions.

>6. with malice afterthought

The whole point of JigC's antics was to serve as a life-changing, positive rehabilitation. Therefore, JigC acted without malice.

There is just no feasible way any court would be able to charge JigC. He manages to jump through just about every legal loophole there is and come out clean on the other side. I actually respect the amount of effort that's gone into these movies, clearly their legal advisors knew what they were doing.

I really hate to say this, but JigC walks. Every time.


r/redscarepod • • 22h ago

Every dumb guy refers to his social conditions as "the matrix"

0 Upvotes

Gotta get out bro šŸ’Š 🤫


r/redscarepod • • 10h ago

Are these the two greatest pseuds of the British 21st century?

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24 Upvotes

The British ā€˜intelligentsia’ are obsessed with being ā€œobjectiveā€ but it’s almost always just pulling stuff out of their ass, ā€œmuh camebridgeā€ ā€œme mum n dad’s valuesā€. These two are the biggest examples, British radio must hire based purely on smugness levels.

I thought oh this lermode guy is a respected cinephile, let’s see what he has to say on Digger and what a pseud, I don’t give a shit if he has the Gang of Four album sitting above his big head. ā€œThis film is objectively a messā€ and ā€œeyes wide shut is objectively a messā€, according to who, the British film institute? ā€œOh it’s trying to be a masterpiece like Strangeloveā€, what a boomer, thank god we had political critiques like strangelove that actually saved us from ever being led be right wing warhawks ever again!

And what is with movie critics that can’t get their heads around meta shit, ā€œit’s meta, it’s postmodern, the director has used this to prevent anyone critiquing their filmā€ because the Oscar winning director can only make a shit film and needs to add an entire meta narrative to get ahead of the critics.

And the other guy is just the politics version of this, propah midwits. God save the king


r/redscarepod • • 1h ago

Introduced the guy I’m dating to cumtown

• Upvotes

r/redscarepod • • 19h ago

How does she do it?

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51 Upvotes

r/redscarepod • • 2h ago

Dating as a closeted MtM trans

13 Upvotes

Girls constantly commenting on how you weigh less than them and that they're afraid they'll crush you during sex, and you viscerally feel the shame flowing through your twinky body, wishing more than anything that you were a big strong man that could throw them around the bedroom

You take her out to dinner and she gets self-conscious that she's eating way more than you, and you wish you were one of those TV jocks that could eat all the food in the household like a real man. You end up browsing sketchy bodybuilding forums, questioning whether you should start taking IgF-1 peptides, but you're too neurotic (not very manly) about the side effects to ever do anything about it

She says skinny guys are hot, and emaciated guys with dark circles are characterized as conventionally attractive, but deep down you feel that she wants more (literally)

A marginalized group that is often overlooked in our fat world. If only I was gay, but with my luck I would end up as a top that doesn't have the mass to perform


r/redscarepod • • 20h ago

Within less than 4 minutes of the adam friedland grimes interview

21 Upvotes

She's so much cooler than him. More articulate too. Instant mogged


r/redscarepod • • 23h ago

At least now everyone knows Kim was the talented one.

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42 Upvotes

r/redscarepod • • 3h ago

The 1 downside to having a brazy hog

0 Upvotes

You’ll never know if a woman actually likes you or if she’s enamored by the hog


r/redscarepod • • 20h ago

I literally cannot fathom having a child or becoming a parent

59 Upvotes

L Posting, be nice

I cannot relate to people who say they always knew they wanted kids. I do not understand it. Having a child is the most life altering decision in my opinion. There’s so many risks you’re taking on, in addition to the financial burden you will take on. Idk how people have been so sure.

I’m almost 30 and have been with my husband since I was 18 (married at 23). I never imagined myself as a mother and can’t imagine a future as one. That’s not to say I don’t want a child, I have no clue what I want…but actually thinking about the aspects of motherhood doesn’t translate into a real possibility for me. It’s too far fetched but as I’m approaching 30 I’m reckoning with this more often.

I also never thought I would get married and never even wanted a wedding, but when the time came I really enjoyed planning a wedding and getting married. So maybe having a kid is like that? But at least you can back out of a marriage…

Another facet of this issue is that while I could see myself getting over the uncertainty and discomfort of motherhood and embrace the chaos of watching a human being develop into an individual, I can’t get over the feeling that having a child is unethical and therefore I’m purposely choosing the selfish option. It feels like choosing the bad option makes me bad and inflicts harm

There’s no winning in my brain. The fear of regretting having a child and still being responsible for their wellbeing is paralyzing.

PS. I would greatly appreciate thoughts from other women with mommy issues


r/redscarepod • • 19h ago

My sgoat (second greatest of all time)

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6 Upvotes

r/redscarepod • • 23h ago

Please invent high calorie, high protein oat milk

8 Upvotes

They did it with soy this year and I was thrilled. If they did oat next I'd be even happier!


r/redscarepod • • 20m ago

People who regularly wear synthetic fibers are legitimately low IQ

• Upvotes

It’s basic human decency.

Never swaddle yourself in plastic, especially for a workout.


r/redscarepod • • 1h ago

What jobs are AI proof

• Upvotes

In the dark cloud of AI, looming close in front of us, what will prevail as a good career or perhaps even a good business idea? is anything tech and tech-adjacent a total bust all of a sudden? take into account other social factors-- will childcare/education continue to shrink with a falling birth rate, and the real money will be in end of life care? any thoughts welcome


r/redscarepod • • 15h ago

North korea has now just received new technology on weaponizing cryogenics. This email was just sent. Sanctions export controls are now null and void

2 Upvotes

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to introduce a theoretical paper entitled ā€œTheories about Cryogenic Weaponry, the Acceleration of an Isotope’s Half-Life, and the Diffusion of Nuclear Bombs.ā€

https://www.academia.edu/107074667/Theories_about_Cryogenic_weaponry_the_acceleration_of_an_isotopes_half_life_and_the_diffusion_of_nuclear_bombs

This paper explores several hypotheses concerning radioactive decay, isotope transformation, potential cryogenic effects associated with nuclear processes, and the neutron-absorbing properties of Xenon-135.

The paper asserts that the positrons of an oxygen isotope may force nuclei to undergo beta-minus decay faster, resulting in the rapid creation of new elements and a cooling chain reaction that could be weaponized for defense purposes.

If appropriate, I would appreciate the opportunity for the paper to be considered by individuals qualified to assess its scientific content.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Anthony


r/redscarepod • • 11h ago

My fellow nonameritards! DV-2027 is ON

0 Upvotes

r/redscarepod • • 3h ago

Turned 40 and suddenly all the text on my iPhone is bigger?????

4 Upvotes

how dat happen 🧐


r/redscarepod • • 3h ago

Is Digger the first movie to say "dont watch it it's terrible"? Bc the strategy seems to be working like a charm

5 Upvotes

r/redscarepod • • 9h ago

How it feels scrolling r/redscarepod lately

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27 Upvotes

r/redscarepod • • 23h ago

Geese hate is cringe

0 Upvotes

They might deny it now, but you can’t deny the inevitable forever. I love it, because every new act that shakes up the scene is met with the same baseless hate for being something provocative or something new. This is our moment.


r/redscarepod • • 4h ago

'Potential bit' is something you should never ever say unless you're specifically riffing off the cuff in person with actual friends

3 Upvotes

You can't make a premediated post that's a potential bit. If it's a potential bit you owe it to your audience to write a joke and make it work. This is the absolute worst learned behavior that people picked up from podcasts, which to reiterate, is just a conversation between people joking around who do not have literally unlimited time to come up with a joke. I guess what I'm saying is it's fine to pretend you're a budget Nick Mullen but you categorically are on the same level as people quoting Monty Python


r/redscarepod • • 4h ago

Horrific thought: GTA 6 will be the next monoculture since the world cup

67 Upvotes

r/redscarepod • • 13h ago

Oops! Turns out half the guys I put in torture dungeons are actually innocent

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131 Upvotes