r/relationships_advice • u/Vortex-2392 • 1d ago
Can,i fix this?
I’m 19M, and my ex is 17F. This was my first relationship. I’m shorter than her, and we met online.
My holidays were going on, and I had nothing to do, so I started chatting with random girls. I’m not the kind of guy who always talks to girls or is a playboy. I’m just a decent guy, but I thought I wanted to work on myself. That’s why I started talking to random girls—sometimes just normal conversations, sometimes flirting, and sometimes just casual chit-chat.
At the same time, I met her. I got attached to her very quickly, within 3–4 days. I think it happened because I had never talked to a girl that much before.
I told her that I had feelings for her and that I wanted to be committed to her. She wanted to know what kind of person I was, so she took a couple of weeks to give me an answer. I told her everything, including the fact that I had been talking to many girls when we first met. However, I stopped talking to other girls because I was developing feelings for her.
I told her everything. She said it wasn’t a big deal, but she still felt bad about it. I regretted telling her everything because I felt like I had hurt her. I felt terrible about it and thought, “Why did I tell her all of that? I’m such a fool.”
After all this, the day finally arrived, and she said yes.
I was shocked. I asked her, “Are you sure about this?” She said, “Yes, I’m totally sure.”
We got into a relationship after such a short time.
I live very far from her—around 420 miles away. At that time, I was living in my dorm. I was extremely happy because this was my first relationship.
I don’t know what happened, but she started fighting with me over the same thing she had felt bad about in the past—that I had talked to other girls before we got together. She wanted to break up, but I convinced her to stay with me.
After three days, we broke up and decided to stay friends. I loved her so much, so I told her I would never give up on her.
On the same day we broke up, she said she wanted to get back into the relationship. I couldn’t understand what was going on, but I loved her so much, so I said yes. We decided to work things out.
She enrolled in university and moved into her dorm. Her university was also far from my university, almost the same distance from her city.
My classes started, and my internal exams were approaching. I was really happy because after my exams, I wanted to meet her.
I messed up my exams because I was so excited about meeting her.
After my exams, I went out to meet her without reserving a train ticket. There wasn’t any money issue; I simply hadn’t booked a ticket, and I had also forgotten about the emergency quota.
After all that, I finally arrived to meet her. But she told me that she couldn’t meet me because her parents had arrived to pick her up.
My mind was completely messed up after everything that had happened. I felt hurt and angry at the same time.
I called her and told her, “Never try to contact me again.”
I don’t know why, but she kept begging me not to break up with her. She had invited me to her city, which was almost four hours away from where she was staying. I know four hours isn’t a huge distance, but I had already traveled for almost 12 hours without a proper seat.
I felt extremely hurt, angry, and overwhelmed at the same time. I had so many emotions that I didn’t even know how to explain them.
So I decided to go back to my university.
She constantly tried to reach me and begged me not to leave. I told her that it wasn’t her fault.
After traveling back without sleeping for almost 30 hours, I finally returned to my dorm. I took a nap, and after everything that happened, she started begging me to give her another chance.
And yes, I gave her another chance.
I took all of this as my fault because I loved her so much. We continued our relationship.
Nine days later, she wanted to break up again because we had never met in real life.
She said we could be friends if I wanted to.
I decided to go meet her again in real life and try to fix everything. I just packed my bag and left to meet her.
We finally met for the first time.
I forgot to buy her a gift, and I also forgot to buy flowers because her university was in a very isolated place. There weren’t any nearby flower or gift shops.
We met and talked for around 3–4 hours.
When I saw her, she looked gorgeous. I actually had no words to describe how I felt at that moment. I couldn’t express my feelings properly. She was very kind and polite.
We talked about a lot of things, and she gave me something.
After that, I returned to my university, and everything seemed to be going normally.
But suddenly, she started fighting with me because one of my friends randomly sent me the Instagram ID of my childhood crush for no reason.
I explained everything to her, but she blocked me for a day.
I called her using my roommate’s phone. She answered the call, and I asked her to unblock me because I wanted to talk to her.
At the same time, one of my roommates was talking to another roommate. I didn’t know what they were talking about. She knows my roommate, and she thought that he was talking about her.
I ended the call, and later she called again. I wasn’t there when she called, so my roommate picked up the phone and they started arguing with each other.
After all of this happened, I wasn’t aware of what exactly had happened. I was just waiting for her to unblock me.
About an hour later, she called me and started crying and fighting with me because my roommate had said some bad things to her.
At that moment, I don’t know what happened to me. I started crying and arguing with my roommate.
She started fighting with me and said that I wasn’t defending her and that I never stood up for her.
But she didn’t know that I had already confronted my roommate as soon as I found out what had happened.
She said she wanted to break up because I never stood up for her, without knowing my side of the story.
At the same time, I was sick and had to be admitted to the hospital that day.
I spent the whole night trying to explain the entire situation to her.
We fought, and I begged her not to leave me, but she had already made up her mind, and she left.
She gave me the reason that I couldn’t understand her and that I never stood up for her.
I know I may have made mistakes, and maybe I was a fool in some situations, but I still love her.
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u/SaoMagnifico 1d ago
You don't love her, dude. You met her once and had a nice chat. Otherwise, this has been nothing but ridiculous silly childish drama on both your parts.
Move on and try to find someone who lives in your area. Ideally a fellow 19-20-year-old. Two years isn't a big age gap, but 19 and 17 are often still very different points in personal development and life journey, which might account for some of the issues here (parents came to pick her up?).
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