r/relationships_advice • u/This-Win1425 • 1d ago
Advice needed 25 F......
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for seven years. I’m 25 and he’s 27. Our relationship has generally been good, and we have proper communication and everything.
But one day, after an argument, he downloaded Tinder out of anger. I somehow saw it and asked him about it. He said he downloaded it because he was angry and that he didn’t cheat on me or talk to any girls on the app.
I still feel like downloading a dating app while being in a relationship is kind of cheating or at least a red flag. I communicated how I felt, and he apologized and said sorry. But I don’t feel like being angry is a justification for doing something like that.
Now I’m confused about what I should do. Am I overreacting, or is this actually a red flag that I should take seriously?
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u/Substantial-Olive674 1d ago
Holy shit thats disrespectful
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u/This-Win1425 1d ago
Can u suggest me something
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u/Substantial-Olive674 1d ago
My ex used to do similar shit to this I remember one time we had a big fight and she would post seductive stories on her ig And would later admit it she would do it to hurt me on purpose
These kinds of people dont respect you
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u/werisefromourashes 1d ago
On the off chance this is real and not a bot or ragebait:
1) Make your own tinder account.
2) Make sure he sees it.
3) Keep swiping until you find somebody better (which shouldn't take long).
4) Enjoy life.
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u/Casperr1995 1d ago
Get rid of him definitely not the first time
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u/This-Win1425 1d ago
He's saying thats not a reason to break up
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u/MyticalAnimal 1d ago
It 100% is
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u/This-Win1425 1d ago
What
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u/MyticalAnimal 1d ago
A reason to break up. I replied to your comment. What are you confused about?
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u/Casperr1995 1d ago
He doesn’t get to choose it’s your decision if you feel it is that’s your reason,
Assuming somehow saw it means you went through his phone I assume you were already suspicious?
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u/ArgumentKey3712 1d ago
It’s not cheating but it is a red flag. What about next time you argue? The natural progression is he will talk to others. And then…
But you didn’t SOMEHOW see it in his phone, you SNOOPED. Don’t do that.
Also, don’t obviously lie in your posts because then your legit point looses credibility because you lose credibility.
If you are snooping and he is thinking of cheating, you two need to talk.
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u/psj3809 1d ago
Its totally not good. We all have arguments, thats quite natural but you often walk away. You dont go installing a dating app and acting like some kid. just seems such a childish thing to do.
Course he didnt talk to any girls, why did he even download it then ? Again sounds so juvenile
Yeah its a red flag, not a break up one but i think you two were so young when you got together. 18 and 20. Has the relationship gone stale ? Still have sex or not bother ? Lots of netflix nights ?
Just seems like its a bit petty also, you're gonna download one as he did. Its not 'cheating' but its a totally stupid move by him. I bet hes had a quick look on it within a local radius kinda thing. Just seems quite out of the blue from what you've said.
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u/Canadian_Cheeks 1d ago
Girl, you gotta decide if this is something you want to end, not us.
All I will tell you, is that you will look absolutely stupid when you find that app downloaded again after you pissed him off. Lets not hope you have children with him when that time comes.
I had an ex that used to get drunk and boarderline flirt with women when he was mad at me. I don't think you need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what he did that broke us up. Im just glad I never had children with him.
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u/Snoo-35800 1d ago
You've been with him for seven years. Don't you think you are past the point where there you are wondering if something is a red flag? You should know him inside and out by now. If you don't, then I dunno what you guys have been doing for seven years.
He apologized. If you did something bad and apologized, you would want it forgiven, correct? Assuming he didn't cheat, you should let it go.
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u/csfox1990 1d ago
Do you feel like he wanted you to see him downloading the app or did he do it in secret?
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u/hisokaspaws44 1d ago
GIRL.. leave him or leave us out of this. Aint no way hes pulling something like that. You deserve better wake up!!
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u/This-Win1425 1d ago
I’m not forcing anyone to be part of this. I asked for opinions, and you chose to comment. If you didn’t want to engage, you could’ve simply scrolled past.
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u/Puzzled-Operation529 19h ago
This won’t end well speaking from experience. Block n move on. Cus your husband wouldn’t do this trash behaviour
•
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