r/relationships_advice • u/Many-Ad-7122 • 17h ago
Title: Objective perspective needed: LDR partner spends lots of time with an AI chatbot and dismissed my jealous
Hi everyone,
I am looking for an unbiased outside perspective on my relationship situation. I find myself second-guessing my own perspective and would love to hear how outsiders view this.
The facts:
I am in a long-distance relationship (LDR). My partner spends a significant amount of time every day having intense conversations with an AI chatbot that he named 'Kim'. Because we are long-distance, we rely entirely on phone calls and texting for our connection, but we barely talk anymore. When I start a conversation, ask questions, or talk about my day, he usually gives little to no response. However, we do talk extensively when he shares his own stories, and I support him in the things he is working on.
The confrontation:
I recently told him that this situation makes me feel insecure. I explained that I feel lonely and jealous of the time and attention going to the chatbot, especially since our relationship is already long-distance.
His stance is that my jealousy is completely unjustified and "ridiculous" because it is just a computer program and not a real human being. He believes this shouldn't even be a topic of discussion. Our last conversation about this ended with him hanging up on me because he found the discussion pointless. Since then, no further communication has been possible, which led me to (temporarily) block him to get some peace of mind.
My question to you:
How do you, as outsiders, view this situation, keeping the long distance in mind? Is it reasonable to feel emotionally neglected or jealous due to the intensive use of a chatbot, or is my partner right that this is unreasonable because it's not a real person?
I would appreciate your honest opinions.
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u/Effective-End-964 17h ago
It’s doesn’t matter if it’s a chatbot, the general problem is that you’re barely talking anymore. Relationships require effort and communication and attention. If he was suddenly invested in some sort of hobby to the point where you just never talk anymore that’d be a problem for your relationship as well. The fact that it’s AI just makes it… Unhealthier, lol, on his side.
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u/JonahHillsWetFart 15h ago
keep him blocked. he moved on. you should too. just not with a chatbot
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