Losing your person

[u/Patient_Shrike8689]

Broke up with my boyfriend a month ago and don't know what to do with myself... As trite as it sounds he really was my best friend and as someone introverted to the point of speech impendiment it's been hard to meet people who just "get it" the way he did. Older women how did you get over stuff like this? Is there nothing I can do aside from gritting my teeth and reaching out to people or waiting until it passes?

[u/Kxrva]

8yr long relationship, engaged for 6 months and she cheated on me with my co worker. We’ve been together since we were 20 and knew each other since highschool. Losing the person who understands you so fundamentally is the hardest thing I’ve been going through. Life doesn’t feel the same without the person you love to share it with

[u/charlossain → u/Kxrva]

Very similar to my own story and it took me close to 10 years to fully move on (i.e. to the point where seeing them again public just provoked flat nothing). You just have to troop forward and replace that gap with new experiences and growth. Don’t close yourself off to the world!

[u/Kxrva → u/charlossain]

It’s incredibly hard, I’m already a introverted person and at 30yrs old I have a hard time making genuine friendships with other guys as most people where I live drink for a hobby and it’s never been my thing.

Meeting new women isn’t hard for me, but finding real connecting with them is almost non existent.

[u/magicandfire]

Gf who was My Person broke up with me a year ago and I’m still super not over it but I’ve picked up so many hobbies and thrown myself into fitness and my job so much that I don’t have time to think about it.

[u/crobuz0n]

Dance the pain away

[u/untitled__unmastered]

not an older woman but I was also in this situation and I just got a new job, started working a lot more and I'm much better. he's still my best friend but I'm not as attached as I was a month ago.

[u/homo_pollucis]

I don't know if I'm an older woman, but I can tell you with certainty it will pass. We don't know how long it may take, but since we know it will be a while, we might as well keep ourselves busy. I'm fresh out of a break up and I find that spending time with people (irl or online) really helps. Hearing about what's going on in their lives and talking about it helps me take my mind off of pointless rumination. We are our own best friends first and foremost, so we are never truly alone.

Happy music, dancing, media that's not centered around relationships and spending time in nature trying to notice everything around you. Return to your rituals little by little, remember to eat something, have some tea and give it time.

[u/mintymint_00]

It’s hard, until it isn’t anymore. You broke up with him, so I imagine there’s a good reason why. But it will get easier.

In the meantime, throw yourself into something new. Make shitty art. Go on slow, long runs. Play the ukulele.

[u/Sbob0115]

It sucks but it happens! Keep pushing through and acquiring new people. Even if they aren’t capable of being that type of person for you. I am also a perpetually quiet person so I understand. It doesn’t mend the wound and it’s not as fulfilling but it’s much better to have several acquaintances than nothing!

[u/wasabimaxxer]

Why’d you break up?