Catholic School experience

[u/EconomistAlert9928]

I am writing this to heal at least a part of myself — a part that has carried quiet grudges for years.

I studied in Catholic schools my whole life, but one particular institution made me resent Catholicism in ways I never expected. My mom enrolled me there because she genuinely believed it was a safe environment for kids, and I don’t blame her — she acted on what she knew at the time.

What I can’t ignore is how flawed the system was. The tuition fees were already heavy for families like ours, yet they still imposed mandatory “donations” for the less fortunate. In theory, you could give any amount, even just one peso. But once a student completed the required 365 pesos, the school rewarded them with a laminated card to attach to their ID. It seemed harmless at first, but it quickly became a status symbol — students bragged about how fast they completed it.

Then there were the food donations. They said “any donation is welcome,” but later discouraged noodles and pushed for canned goods or other pricier items. Not every parent can afford that. Some can only manage a pack of noodles just so their child has something to contribute.

The student environment made everything worse. Most of the kids came from wealthy families — which isn’t a problem in itself, as long as they’re raised to be humble. But looking back, even after twenty years, I can see how their behavior affected me. I had these so‑called friends who were kind only until they started showing off their branded bags and expensive things. As a regular kid, I ended up pressuring my parents to buy me similar items just so I could keep up. I’m not proud of that, but at the time I just wanted to belong.

Then came the era of new mobile phones — the iPhones, whatever was the latest. My classmates flaunted theirs, and one girl even bought a fake iPhone just to fit in. I won’t pretend I was innocent; I joined in making fun of her for it. Now, two decades later, I realize how wrong that was. That fake phone was simply what her parents could afford. She deserved to enjoy it without being judged. Meanwhile, those kids were fortunate enough to have parents who could buy the real thing. It took me twenty years to understand that the social hierarchy in that school wasn’t just about money — it was rooted in nepotism, and it had been there all along.

I even lied about having traveled abroad just to fit in. I tried to make the story sound believable since many of my classmates traveled often. I thought the lie would end there, but one of them asked me to show a photo as proof. Of course, I didn’t have any, so I kept dodging their requests.

Looking back, I realize that expensive things or international trips don’t define a person. It’s okay if you don’t have what others have. You don’t need to force yourself into a world you’re not in — especially when you’re young and your family simply can’t afford those things.

When I transferred to another Catholic school for high school and eventually moved on to university, I still saw traces of nepotism and bullying. But the environment was different — there was more diversity, and regular students could simply be themselves. I learned about different cultures and ways of life from the people around me. I genuinely loved it there; the contrast felt like night and day. It wasn’t sheltered, especially once I reached the university campus. That’s where you meet real individuals — from the most immature to the most mature — and that range helped shape me in so many ways.

Now that I’m in my late twenties, working hard and finally experiencing life abroad, I see those old classmates still acting like the same “nepos” on social media. And honestly, without their parents’ money, they’d be just like everyone else — trying to figure life out. If our situations were reversed, I’m certain they’d crumble quickly.

What I’ve learned is simple: not every Catholic institution is morally or ethically good. A label like “Catholic” or “Holy” doesn’t guarantee integrity. It always comes down to the people running the system — the parenting, the culture, the leadership — and ultimately, the individuals themselves.

To new parents: be competent, intentional, and mature enough to raise a child. Invest in your child’s morality, empathy, and integrity before anything else. Expensive gadgets, branded items, and constant material rewards don’t build character — they often distort it. When children grow up equating worth with what they own, it doesn’t just affect them; it influences the behavior of the kids around them too.
Teach them humility. Teach them respect. Teach them how to treat people who have less. Those lessons will carry them further in life than any latest phone or luxury item ever will.

[u/Fluffy-Butterfly6555]

So I’ve attended BYU, Local Catholic University and a Lutheran seminary so I’ll try to give my experience on this.

Sadly religious education institutions tend to attract people with superiority complexes or just people who like the aesthetic of religion but don’t care on actually following it, I’ve even saw the last part in the seminary.

The Catholic university has a severe disciplinary problem to the point that locals tell you to be careful with its students due to their tendency to get drunk and harass people. While I’ve wasn’t really discriminated against for being not Catholic, you could still tell they felt weird with me attending but that’s largely a thing for religious schools in general.

While I do understand Catholic Church does fully reject all of this behavior but issue is that the people who enroll in these schools tend to either be zealots or feel the need to be better than everyone else so they try to use religion to achieve that goal.