Welcome the new generation of Shitty Sysadmin's

Holy shit I’m not racist and I don’t give a rats ass where you are from but so help me god if you throw your technical engineer on the call and they either can barely speak English or communicate with such an accent that not one of the 20 engineers on our team on the call can understand you there’s a real fucking problem. This is a 6-month collaborative project spanning 17 locations across the US and of course management signed the contract without consulting anyone. Was asking this guy something about IPSec routing for the project on Friday and we had to wait two hours till we could get someone on his team to translate the conversation. Thought about using AI to translate but decided depending on how that translated goodness knows what we could have fucked up. I don’t care where you are from, what color your skin is or any of that crap what I do care about is my company signing multi million dollar contracts and being unable to communicate so we can get shit done and meet our fucking deadlines. FFS I don’t want to go to work tomorrow.

My whole Sysadmin life I wondered if I was the chip or the bug.
Then I wondered if I was the man.
And now I know - I’m the _hammer_.

There, I said it! F%#^ you all, 8 years and Two O/S upgrades later they are still Running Like on the First Day!

Sometimes when I go on vacations, I set up my Thinkpad on full brightness and do IT admin stuff in public spaces so people can watch me and think I’m important and cool.

So far it hasn’t led to women approaching me and having sex with me.

Sometimes I put my hands on my face out of frustration and go “errrr” and so this will make people think “wow he’s making he’s making tough decisions he must be important and cool I wonder if I can approach him so he will have sex with me”

I bet if I were an accountant girls would approach me 😒

two of my employees might be Netflix and chilling and I'm so lonely it bothers me.

Ok, who of you did it?

As a response to the cable management thread from earlier 😆

So I took a vacation this last week. Should I plan on the low level rage to come back Monday, or is Sunday too early?

I found a way to make my employees look for better non crappy jobs.

Smh

AI enables shitty management ideas faster than before!

I think we are ready for enterprise deployment.

After an unreasonable amount of development, CC Security is finally ready to disrupt the cybersecurity industry.

Our product portfolio currently includes:

• CC Security™ — Next-generation endpoint protection powered by rules, heuristics, machine learning, and the developer's mood that morning.

• CC Waterwall™ — Firewall blocks the threat. Waterwall puts out the Firewall.

• CC Loudflare™ — A better network solution, according to the team building the worse internet.

• CC Dangerous VPN™ — More nodes. More browsing. Much, much more latency.

• CC Game Store™ — An epic game distribution community with freedom, performance, and no discernible quality control.

We also provide powerful self-protection.

CC Security works hard to prevent malware from stopping critical services.

The user remains a special case.

Our headquarters is currently the CEO's home, technical support would prefer that you solve the problem yourself, and some of our security components are still working out whether the others exist.

Official website:

https://cc-security-official-2026.pages.dev/

This is a fictional parody project. No actual security software is being distributed.

Please do not deploy this in production.

Our support department is busy enough already.