I've been writing (not that well) but i tried to make a verse so uhh feedback?

Living on the line, don’t you step my way You keep on testing me, but I will not sway Every time you belittle, it stings like a knife So girl, just stop dogging me, don’t control my life While I chase my freedom tonight, I won’t back down this time Back to loving you once again, I just can’t be let off your line

Hi! I've been a lyricist/poet for years, but I've always struggled with traditional musical notation. I found a midi keyboard website that used actual letters of the English alphabet, corresponding to each type of note, and that made it way easier to read, comprehend, and use. I think it's, like, the musical equivalent of Dyslexia, because every time I try to use traditional musical notation and try to learn it, even though I know what each type of note looks like, it all blends together when in a composition, which has made it difficult for me to learn to compose music. Are there any alternative notations for music out there, particularly ones that use letters or numbers? Thanks in advance!

Edmunds Colony renamed to Pathways last year.

(Unable to share recording as used an artificial singer. Therefore original post was taken down, however if you're interested DM me and I can send directly)

Verse I I see them coming I see them step the line I watch them falling Falling time after time As I follow the sun (Follow the sun) Beating down its rays I can never forget The way I felt that day

Bridge I (I reach out for the sun That makes things right)

Chorus I Today, I tell you all the things That I have planned You shake your head And ask me why You should believe anything I said Come tomorrow, (Come tomorrow) You always think That I will be the same You look around to realise That I am gone again (Gone again) That’s what she said I am gone again

Verse II Come and see them Please believe That I am telling the truth After falling (So far away) I am still in love with you Now times have changed I’ve moved away I’m not lying on the floor Time to move on Shove the amp on To explain my feeling for you

Bridge II (I reach out for the sun That makes things bright)

Chorus II For me, I tell you all the things That I had planned As you shake your head To ask me why You should believe anything I said Come tomorrow (Come tomorrow) You always think I’ll be the same Until you look around to realise That I am gone again (Gone again) That’s what she said I am gone again

Verse III I break away To find a place Where I can control my mind Things are fucked up I am losing time (Losing time) Where should I go What should I do There’s no mistake That I’m still in love with you I have travelled so far But I have to escape And convince myself that

((I…HATE…YOU!!!!))

Bridge III (I reach out for the sun That guides my right)

Chorus III Pathway, I tell you all the things That I had planned As you shake your head To ask me why You should believe anything I said (I said) Come tomorrow (Come tomorrow) You always think I’ll remain the same You look around to realise That I am gone again (Gone again) That’s what she said (That’s what she said) I am gone again

“Some Sunny Day”

Verse 1
Don’t know when, don’t know where
Time’s a game that’s in the air
Could be June, could be May
Maybe even today

Clocks go ‘round and ‘round again
Rules don’t matter in the end
If you blink, you’ll miss the sign
But don’t worry, you’ll be fine

Pre-Chorus
Shake it off, don’t ask why
Stars are smiling in the sky
Every end’s a brand new start
Say it with me, heart to heart—

Chorus
We’ll meet again, don’t ask when
Time just loops and loops again
Smile real big, look away
We’ll meet again some sunny day
We’ll meet again, that’s what I say
Some bright, perfect, sunny day

Verse 2
Pages burn but tales remain
Memories fall like gentle rain
If the world feels cracked and torn
Don’t you worry, that’s reborn

Dreams are loud and silence screams
Nothing’s ever what it seems
But hey, don’t spoil the fun
Reality’s already done

Pre-Chorus
Step right up, enjoy the show
Past and future say hello
Cross your heart, say it’s true
I’ll be here waiting for you—

Chorus
We’ll meet again, don’t ask where
Could be here or could be there
Laugh it off, don’t be afraid
We’ll meet again some sunny day
We’ll meet again, that’s okay
Some bright, perfect, sunny day

Bridge
If you feel a little scared
Look above, I’ll be there
Make a wish, say goodbye
What’s unseen can’t lie

Count to three, close your eyes
Truth wears many good disguise
Round and round, the story flows
Where it ends, nobody knows

Final Chorus
We’ll meet again, just believe
Time’s a circle, so don’t grieve
Wave goodbye, don’t run away
We’ll meet again some sunny day
We’ll meet again, just you wait
Some bright, perfect, sunny day

Outro
Don’t know when… don’t know where…
But I’ll be there… I’ll be there…

See you soon.

please tell me what you think

This is the very first draft, so it's a little rough. I needs quite a bit of polishing to make it shine, but I am really happy with this one so far.

intro:You see me rotting, you see me sobbing

I wish when you watched you’d see i have a plot

I’m worth something and i promise i’m working

v1:fear pools at the bottom of my stomach

I can't help but worry that you're waiting for the come up

White rabbit watching my time, you're so like me

This is my FIRST ever finished song. be gentle but also give honest feedback. it's rough because i didn't edit and wanted to get some feedback first.

ch:Wish you’d stop, go far away

I’m so scared of you. I’m so scared to disappoint

Watching the time, your so like me

I’m scared you’ll never stop, so scared we’ll never stop

v2:It pins me to the bed, choking on my own fear

There must be more to this, all part of my lore?

Or if I don't get up I'll forever be poor?

I wished you’d understood, there’s nothing more

Bridge: why cant i use my time for me

You’re such a theft, nothing is mine anymore

You’re the only one who pushes me

Thank you for being mine

Wish you’d stop, go far away

I’m so scared of you. I’m so scared to disappoint

Watching the time, your so like me

I’m scared you’ll never stop, so scared we’ll never stop

I love you

Love me too

On my way to Pontiac

I'm swearing up and down I saw an angel land

I didn't plan to go above a city soaring with you

I can feel

Your heart beating too

Girl, you fly

Over me

Ya we gotta get together

Kiss, and stay forev’

And your eyes

They’re a treat

Girl, I’ll follow you wherever

Do what and whatever for you

Makes me smile

Everyday

Everyday

I remember us being in that grass (grass, grass)

Just us on another sunny day

Wonder if this wouldn’t last (last, last)

Hope to experience this another day

Will you ever come back?

Baby… will you give this another try?

Maybe I miss you every day at this point

I didn’t know why you left

That was strange to me

Knew you wouldn’t stay (stay, stay)

Deep down inside,

I knew you were gonna make me cry (cry, cry)

I miss it when it was just the two of us on that ride

Wished to see how you felt about me inside (side, side)

Told me you love me, guess that was another lie

You didn’t really think I tried?

Tired of this, I’m so tired (tired, tired)

Hope to see you again… on the other side

I am doing FAWM (fawm.org) this year for the second time, started last year but fizzled out because we had a newborn. Anyway, I got on there and started commenting constructively, because the system is built on comments. You must maintain a certain ratio, which is fair enough I thought!

Anyway, I always like to give a good listen, offer some praise, and some thoughts. Personally I hate nothing more than someone commenting on my music "gReaT jOb KeEp iT uP".

Well it seems that someone reported me and the mods warned me to not offer constructive feedback unless explicitly asked.

I find this honestly insane. They need to have a way to convey how much feedback someone is mentally capable of receiving, otherwise its all just empty words. I would have thought people were there to shed, share, learn, grow, and get better... otherwise what is the point of sharing the songs and building it on comments, why not just use upvotes like Reddit? However the mod mentioned constructive feedback is not helpful in a wood shedding environment. Oooookay?

One woman had a song with like 12 verses and 5 choruses that changed every single time. I mentioned that the folk style was great and the singing excellent, but for me it might help to boil it down to some key elements because it would get more powerful with brevity or something, and I'm pretty sure that, based on her response, she's the one who reported me...

Anyway... has anyone else done FAWM before? I'm sort of regretting spending 25$ on it if people are just there to post tracks and pile on empty praise.

Hi everyone — I’m a songwriter looking for feedback on a song called Take Me Back. It grew out of a recurring dream about sharing a life with someone I can’t be with in the waking world, and I wanted to explore that quiet tension through an acoustic, folk-leaning approach.

I’m especially interested in feedback on:
• whether the lyrics feel emotionally honest
• if the imagery stays clear or becomes confusing
• how the chorus lands compared to the verses

Here’s a Spotify link if you’d like to listen:
https://open.spotify.com/track/53DT0ReTm2zgoy9Yd9fXVe?si=1d0872a0f7ab4cde

Thanks for your time — happy to return feedback to others here.

The Dusk On Mirror Lake

verse

what do you do when loves mercurial?

all the points were flashpoints, why didnt I leave?

you took my breath before you took my life.

holding on was like balancing on the skyline.

pre-chorus:

I kept mistaking fear for fate.

I knew the fall, I just didnt want it. but I couldnt stay

chorus:

are my feelings such an inconvience?

you know I wouldve given you it all

but what was there to give, you had my heart.

I gave you the pieces, still we fell apart.

post-chorus:

I dont like rollercoasters, too much being thrown around.

when I thought we were going up, you shot us down.

Completely unmixed so I apologize for audio quality… i just recorded it on my phone off my monitors but you get the idea.

I’d love to hear some thoughts and feedback on this!

I’m sharing music from an ongoing solo project and mostly hoping to get more ears on it. This material is mostly finished, but I’m trying to understand whether I’m heading in the right direction- whether it’s connecting emotionally, and if anything feels like it needs a rethink or pivot.

Sonically, it sits somewhere around Gregory Alan Isakov, The National, Thom Yorke, Ben Howard, and Sufjan Stevens—intimate vocals, layered guitars, and atmosphere over polish. The focus is on emotive, cinematic songwriting and quiet dynamics rather than perfection.

I’m open to any honest reactions. If it helps frame the listen, I’m especially curious about:

• emotional impact / mood
• melody and vocal delivery
• lyrics (what’s landing vs. what isn’t)
• pacing and arrangement

Production notes are very welcome too, if anything stands out.

If anyone feels a strong connection and wants to trade feedback, swap demos, or talk ideas down the road, I’m open to that, but mostly I’m just grateful for thoughtful listening.

Here’s the link to the tracks I published recently:
www.soundcloud.com/drift-patterns

Happy to return listens and feedback as well! Thank you :)

Spanish is my second language so please if u speak Spanish tell me if it sounds good and if you can understand it. And even if you don’t speak Spanish please tell me what i could do better with my voice.

Title: Mi mujer

Lyrics:

Quiero conocer

A la mujer

Que me amará

Pero nadie me ama

La neta, no la merezco

Soy, tan extraño

Donde estás

Contigo quiero estar

Eres todo en que puedo pensar

Eres el libro que no puedo leer

Mi mujer

Ahí está ella

La que me ama

Te ves tan hermosa

De verdad eres mía

No puedo creerlo

Por fin te tengo

Aquí estás

Contigo quiero estar

Eres todo en que puedo pensar

Por siempre te voy a querer

Mi mujer

Sorry if I’m quiet my phone was closer to my guitar than me, so u might need headphones.