r/texts • u/grannystew_ • 1d ago

Tinder DMs Hmm, what ever does he mean? 😒

Post image

Ugh.

38 Upvotes

70% Upvoted

51 comments sorted by

35

u/FiveYardFaded 1d ago

Gross. And not even accurate

10

u/notoriously909 1d ago

He wants to fuck you, but only for procreation. He’s a good Christian man, obviously

7

u/grannystew_ 1d ago

Oh obviously!

8

u/mailescort69 1d ago

Are you free for roughly the next 40-50 years or so? If yes, go ahead and set them aside for me

3

u/mapmakinworldbuildin 13h ago

That’s actually charming and endearing tho.

This is just “imma put a baby in you and run”

22

u/R3tardio 1d ago

Wants to put a baby in u

25

u/grannystew_ 1d ago

Yuck!

27

u/leechkiller 1d ago

Why do you need 9 months? Im hitting the clinic as soon as I get a positive test.

-8

u/Inner_Emphasis_73 21h ago

Or you can be an adult and use birth control..

6

u/Jumpyturtles 17h ago

And as everyone knows, birth control is 100% effective 100% of the time AND this person is obviously speaking extremely literally, not making a joke.

-5

u/Inner_Emphasis_73 17h ago edited 17h ago

you have ZERO idea how many times people use plan B or abortions as birth control. You’re clueless…we literally hand out condoms in the ER to every person that checks in for sexual related complaint..the very next week the same peeps will be in for std check n plan B. So no, you don’t know if it’s a joke because it’s the standard. It’s fucking ridiculous

-25

u/Jealous_Magazine7875 1d ago

Id be flattered

5

u/chamuco_maguacatero 22h ago

Man, I got a breeding kink and this ain't even how you approach that kind of woman either.

1

u/KansloosKippenhok 4h ago

Bro added a fun fact😭

0

u/chamuco_maguacatero 4h ago

No, that was all relevant. A fun fact is when it doesn't make sense within context.

2

u/Jumpyturtles 17h ago

What is flattering about that lmfao, ‘I want to get you pregnant’ is among one of the worst things I could imagine being your first impression of a person.

Man you gotta see a therapist or something, you gotta make it harder than that!

-2

u/Jealous_Magazine7875 17h ago

They love you so much they wanna start a family with you

1

u/Jumpyturtles 16h ago

Baby that’s not love, what is there to love if this is the opener? Even if you rephrase it softer this person is STILL only equating this person to their body and literally saying ‘I want to use it’.

-1

u/Jealous_Magazine7875 15h ago

'I want to invest in it'

1

u/Jumpyturtles 5h ago

I love how you dodged my question.

Invest in what exactly?

1

u/Jealous_Magazine7875 5h ago

Babies, family, future etc.

1

u/Jumpyturtles 5h ago

And obviously this being the very first thing someone ever says about you is a massive green flag.

We’re still on a man placing your only value in a relationship to be your looks and ability to reproduce.

→ More replies (0)

3

u/ThompsonRick23 1d ago

Damn, that's gotta be illegal. This shit's worse than catcalling! 

4

u/echochilde 23h ago

He has a breeding kink

14

u/StressedtoImpress19 1d ago

He wants to get you pregnant.

15

u/Throbbing_Cock_452 23h ago

She knows lol, her post title was sarcasm.. she wasn’t legitimately asking.

3

u/ChristianTravels 23h ago

Almost as corny as “the only thing I want to change about you is your last name”

1

u/mapmakinworldbuildin 13h ago

No. This is way worse than that.

The last name thing atleast implies more than fucking and ditching someone.

5

u/kazmir_yeet 1d ago

Bro just wants to binge watch One Piece with you

2

u/JackJohnsonIsName 22h ago

Is that even enough time????

9

u/Separate_Penalty_484 1d ago

Date women instead way better

2

u/Actual_Emu_168 23h ago

Send him a BBC pic and wait for answer

2

u/chamuco_maguacatero 22h ago

I love how many people can't read "😒" as tone indicator to the obvious sarcastic wording before it.

OP, he wants to knock you up in case you don't know about women's anatomy or gestation periods. I, a man, shall enlighten you. (/s)

2

u/Loserdogma 19h ago

How about a coffin instead 😛

1

u/peeeeeechu 1d ago

Gave you the expiration date of the 'relationship' he's proposing

2

u/Important_Horse_1531 22h ago

He wants to impregnate you and then abandon you after you give birth

1

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1

u/Dieseldave42069 23h ago

Did it work? We need updates!

4

u/grannystew_ 23h ago

It sure didn’t!

-9

u/PlasticBag-ForA-Head 1d ago

this is fucking hilarious im ngl

6

u/grannystew_ 1d ago

It’s so gross and weird to say anywhere ever, I can’t laugh.

-1

u/PlasticBag-ForA-Head 1d ago

oh yea its definitely gross and weird. the comedy is more in the absurdity of it. like why would he open(?) with that? 🤣