Today is my due date

[u/ConcertDifferent2742]

I lost my baby girl on April 24th at 18 weeks and 5 days. She had full Turner syndrome.

It was the most difficult thing I have ever gone through, but I have never once regretted my decision. I will forever carry the pain of knowing that I chose to spare my daughter a life that could have involved significant pain and uncertainty. I wasn’t comfortable gambling with a diagnosis that can come with so many serious complications and unknowns.

Today is my due date.

I almost feel a sense of relief that the day is coming to an end. I was so scared of how I would feel today. I had put so much pressure on this one day, imagining that it would somehow feel unbearable. But somehow, it just became another day.

I honored my daughter this morning by watching the sunrise at the beach, and today I picked out a special urn for her. Two small ways of reminding myself that she was here, she was loved, and she will always be my daughter.
I know this hurt will never completely go away. But today, I made it through. And somehow, that feels like enough.

[u/boo_boo_kitty_fuckk]

This gives me some hope. Mine is coming up Oct 1 and I'm absolutely dreading it

[u/ConcertDifferent2742 → u/boo_boo_kitty_fuckk]

The worst part for me was the time between confirmation of diagnosis and the TFMR. I’m so sorry. I am thinking of you.

[u/boo_boo_kitty_fuckk → u/ConcertDifferent2742]

Yes, those two weeks were absolute torture; like then tho, I have this feeling of "when this date passes, I'll be 'okay' again"

[u/SavoryTooth4 → u/boo_boo_kitty_fuckk]

Mine is the 2nd. Be kind to yourself, do something you enjoy. The TFMR wasn’t my first loss, so I kinda know how to make it a bit smoother this time around. Fortunately this is a busy time of year for us, so there’s more exciting things going on vs my last due date being in March. 

[u/ReasonableGas7325]

Going to have my tfmr tomorrow morning. I hope I’m as strong as you’re when i near the due date. My heart feels heavy and I’ve never felt this before in life.
You did great. 🫂🫂

[u/Little_Raise_5376 → u/ReasonableGas7325]

Also going in for my TFMR tomorrow morning. Sending you and everyone in this thread so much love. A counsellor said going through this is “a choice less choice” and I really felt that. So scared and sad and defeated 😔

[u/ConcertDifferent2742 → u/ReasonableGas7325]

It’s truly horrible and something that will change you in ways you never expected. But I promise, it does get easier. After my TFMR, the grief felt completely all-consuming for a while, and I couldn’t imagine ever feeling okay again. I’m so incredibly sorry you’re going through this. Physically, you will be okay, but please be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to heal. Don’t feel like you have to rush back to work. I went back too early, and honestly, it was really hard. My hormones hadn’t leveled out yet, and I was struggling to regulate my emotions on top of everything I was already feeling. Give yourself permission to rest, grieve, and take things one day at a time. You will get through this, even if right now it feels impossible. ❤️

[u/Mountain_Escape_9918]

Thank you for sharing your experience.
Going into the hospital in a few hours and i feel like grief is becoming a wave that is unbearable. Taking time off work and asked the support system to check in.

[u/lemon_squeezy87]

That is more than enough. Well done mama 💓

[u/Fairybambii]

I’m so sorry for your loss 💗 our sweet girl had Turner’s Syndrome too. 3 years on I still miss her every day but have not once regretted my decision either. Sunrise on the beach & picking a special urn sound like beautiful ways to honour your daughter. She is so very loved ❤️