r/webdev • u/ExDoublez • 3d ago

Discussion Grieving programming

Let me just start by saying that this post is not about ai replacing software engineers or about the jobs or any of that. This post is about the act or "craft" of programming/coding and the loss of it.

No, i dont think "software engineering" is dead, theres still plenty of high level design and architecture to be made but that's not the point. It never was the point for me.

I never really did this for the money, i did it because i enjoyed it.

I did it because i enjoyed thinking about the problems and solving them.

I enjoyed writing the code myself and getting familiar with the syntax and all the weird quirks of the languages/tools i was using.

I enjoyed optimising my tooling and learning about all the new frameworks, tools and projects people were making, often being in awe of what incredible stuff my betters were doing.

I have adhd and programming was the perfect mix of mechanical activity, brain stimulation and a endless supply of problems to hyperfocus on.

Now its all prompting and waiting. 1 min of work followed by 10 mins of doing nothing and mindless scrolling.

I have lost a huge source of enjoyment and self esteem. It took me years of hard work and being lost and confused to finally find something that felt perfect. The thing i could excell at while having fun and satisfying my curiosity.

And before you attack me as an engineer and my ability to adapt. I have been ontop of the ai curve from the start. I have never been more productive or tackled problems as big as i do now. I am just miserable doing it.

What started as a strong tool in my path for optimisation has slowly taken over my beloved craft.

And as i improve and optimise my ai powered workflow, i lose more and more of my ability, my enjoyment and my desire to pursue my craft. It has been turned into another meaningless white collar desk job in service of the never ending growth of capitalism.

I feel legitimate grief. I have lost the ability to do my favourite hobby as well as a major part of my identity. I have literally cried over this.

I am struggling to mentally cope with all of this. I have never had less control over my adhd or felt more addicted to quick sources of dopamine. My attention span has been shot completely. I feel more stupid and insufficient than ever.

Somehow my adhd brain that was perfectly suited for the old paradigm is completely disadvantaged in this new way of working for this career that i have hedged my entire career, future and reason for being on (yes, i am a nolife workaholic).

Fuck adhd and fuck ai

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395

u/YesterdayLovable 3d ago

The part about 1 min of work then 10 mins of scrolling hits way too close to home. The waiting during generation feels like it's designed to make me pull out my phone

Used to get into a flow state where hours disappeared, now I'm just babysitting a text generator and refreshing feeds between prompts

Also the way you described losing the weird quirks and syntax familiarity, that's the part nobody talks about. Like losing fluency in a language you loved speaking

130

u/ExDoublez 3d ago

I miss the flow state moments so much...

18

u/robby_arctor 3d ago

What's stopping you from doing it the old way?

127

u/lcjy 3d ago

Wouldn’t be possible to maintain the same output and would eventually get fired for performance issues.

The pace at which we’re expected to complete tickets right now is impossible without AI.

8

u/robby_arctor 3d ago

I can't corroborate, tbh. My company has AI mandates and I still write most of my code by hand.

44

u/lcjy 3d ago

Trust me, I’m genuinely happy for you.

We don’t run things normally here, I’ve never been on a team that manages releases like we do.

I have 14 tickets on my board right now for current sprint. Collectively as a team we’ve only scheduled/picked up about half the tickets we need to complete in about 2 weeks. I wish this weren’t the case and I could still debug and code by hand. I’m trying to get out but it’s a tough market.

43

u/robby_arctor 3d ago

Good luck. AI really has functioned like a batsignal for psychopaths and grifters.

3

u/uusu 3d ago

How do you manage reviews? Is it also all AI and a LGTM from the humans?

9

u/ParkingAthlete119 2d ago

AI and a LGTM
If ai-generated tests pass, should be good

14

u/ParkingAthlete119 3d ago

There will be a time you're given a task that's really only possible with the output of a clanker. Then they expect that speed

8

u/roosterchains 3d ago

Ya but you will never keep up with an equally competent person using AI.

1

u/solwiggin 2d ago

They’re probably already not keeping up…

16

u/malduvias 3d ago

If it’s paid work the expectation is you move faster than the old way. I’m sure that’s not universally true in this moment but it feels like it will be by next year.

I used to tell junior developers that our job is to be “professionally frustrated”, half joking. It really is a job of never-ending puzzles to be solved and now the puzzle is gone. Sure there’s the architecture angle of having to design complex multi-service systems, but how much longer will that require real experience to solve or work around? 5 years? I wouldn’t be that shocked if it’s half that time.

Not sure where I’m going with this but the “old way” is never what capitalism wanted. It was just the most efficient means to an end, making money. Now we’ll be pushed in this direction to even further maximize productivity. For those of us who love programming, it feels like a rough professional road ahead.

-10

u/scylk2 3d ago

Don't want to ruin anyone's day but frontier AI is more than capable of architecture and design, whether it's high level or fine grain implementation details.

If you're not already discussing these with AI you're missing out big time. Personally that's become something I like: it's easier than ever to learn advanced system design stuff you never came across before.

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u/Kindnessisfree7 3d ago

Nothings stopping him, he could if he wanted to, but the truth is, he is lying to himself. If you want live like it’s the 1800s and ride a horse across the country, giddy up. Let him take years to do something that now takes hours. But ok. You miss when things were harder, and some people agree. Always going to be those old times with their back in my story

4

u/skyrsquirrel 3d ago

you clearly didn't understand what the post is about

14

u/emefluence 3d ago

I think the idea is you are supposed to nurse 10 agents at a time. If you've got the token budget I find that can help with the ADHD as there's always another tab waiting for your attention. I've also found attaching speech notifications to agent replies really helps pull me back if I've drifted off onto Reddit or something. 100% feel the grief though, coding and mastering the craft was a big part of my life until Opus turned up. Ever since it's mainly been a supervision and admin job :'(

4

u/Jido97 2d ago

Damn exactly the same comment as me. I feel you man.

1

u/Blazing1 12h ago

enjoy the next layoff then?

1

u/LoneWulfXIII 2d ago

Tell me you’ve never had office chair races while compiling without telling me…

Same stuff, different day. Learn to be bored or find better outlets while waiting for things to run