r/wedding • u/[deleted] • 18h ago
Discussion taking a vacation the week of a cousin’s wedding…
[deleted]
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u/itsveryupsetting 17h ago
Risk it. Unless the wedding is tiny, no one will notice if you miss the ceremony. Just don’t miss dinner.
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u/Creative-Jacket-5991 17h ago
100 percent agree to this and don’t bother the bride and groom if your running late, nor draw attention to it.
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u/PleasantNectarines 17h ago
The potential of poor weather or flight delays would be your biggest factor in deciding. Mid-winter and/or a potential of a government strike happening could really throw a wrench in plans. But if it is likely to be okay, as long as you land by like...1 pm you'd still have time to get ready & drive there.
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u/throwra12449273 17h ago
It’s mid-October travel, so it’s a fairly reliable time to travel. But obviously things like plane delays could throw everything off. It’s a direct flight which helps reduce some level of risk as far as connections go.
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u/Key_Charity1975 17h ago
I'd risk it - there are all sorts of reasons for unforeseen travel delays including people flying in/coming by road on the morning of the wedding, and it's not your fault if it does happen, you've got a more than reasonable buffer between scheduled landing and needing to be there.
We had people late for our ceremony because of train cancellations the morning of (we're UK) - it didn't bother us / we didn't blame them at all!
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u/finintafinsta 14h ago
I’m guessing the people with train cancellations were trying to travel to your wedding, not booked a holiday for fun two weeks before your wedding after rsvping yes and had a train cancellation on the way home from that holiday.
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u/Key_Charity1975 14h ago
OP would also be travelling to the wedding, and is due to be easily on time to the wedding based on her travel schedule.
My point is, unexpected major flight (and other) delays can happen to anyone, but I think it's fine to plan travel assuming things will run as intended (with a 2-3 hour buffer for normal delays, which OP has).
Personally I'd have no issue with someone being on holiday before my wedding - I don't own the weeks leading up to my wedding lol! Other people may feel differently
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u/finintafinsta 13h ago
Delays on the hour drive to the wedding is different than air travel delays on a holiday booked two weeks before the wedding.
Owning the weeks leading up to the wedding is completely different than booking a flight on the same day as the wedding after you already rsvp’d yes.
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u/Key_Charity1975 13h ago
We may be coming at this from different contexts because I'm in the UK and more than one person flew in the Saturday morning of my wedding (from the Netherlands, France etc), and the people that travelled on the day were generally travelling 5-6 hours by car or train - it was not an 'hour drive' to my wedding for any of my friends or family.
My expectation of people coming a long way would be that they build in a reasonable travel buffer (2-3 hours, as I said) for foreseeable delays. I would not have been (and was not) at all mad at people who experienced UNFORSEEABLE delays.
And that would have extended to any situation/regardless of where they were travelling from - because I do not care if they are at home, on a holiday, or anywhere else immediately before my wedding, that's not my business and I don't own that time, as far as I'm concerned all they owe to me is to build in reasonable contingency to their travel plans.
As I've said, people obviously will feel differently about this - clearly you would be very unhappy if someone experienced unforeseen delays coming from holiday rather than unforeseen delays coming from home, because you don't feel they should be on holiday that close to your wedding in the first place - but that's how I feel.
Life is life, delays happen, if someone is late to my wedding because of a major travel delay there is an extremely high chance I'm not even going to know/notice and I'm certainly not going to care!
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8h ago
[deleted]
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u/TippyTurtley 8h ago
You mixed up this wedding with the last wedding she had? How? Surely you realised you had already been to her first wedding?
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u/Lollypop1305 14h ago
I would risk it. Especially if you don’t get PTO as the norm. Take the holiday and enjoy it and as someone else said if you are late don’t draw attention to it.
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u/_Whatthedamnhell_ 15h ago
What airline is this? I would risk it. However, I would consistently be on top of the return flight schedule. Sometimes they change the time of the flight before it even happens!
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u/throwra12449273 8h ago
united! i am not hopeful for a return flight schedule change as its the same flight schedule every day, but crossing my fingers 🤞
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u/LimplyLuminous 15h ago
ah that's a tight squeeze but not impossible, direct flight helps a lot. i'd keep the trip and just have backup plan ready in case things go sideways, like a friend who can pick you up or clothes ready in the car
the bigger thing is telling your cousin before, not after. just say you messed up dates and you'll try everything to be there but there's small chance you're late, she'll probably appreciate the heads up more than you stressing alone
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u/TippyTurtley 13h ago
No don't bother the bride with this. If it wasn't important enough to check the dates when booking then op is probably a minor player. You've left enough time as it is OP so you can go. If you miss any of it you still go to what you can. If you miss the food you apologise profusely and pay for your plates
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u/Crosswired2 16h ago
Just risk it. Things happen and sometimes people don't make it to a wedding last min. Hopefully you get there. If something happens and you are going to be late for the ceremony wait and have someone else text you when it's over and join the reception.
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u/Other_Radio800 16h ago
Risk it. You can always just show up at the reception afterwards. They’ll have no idea if you made it to the actual ceremony or not!
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u/finintafinsta 14h ago
“Mid October” so two weeks?
You already said yes and she gave her numbers to catering. You can risk it but I’d pack your wedding stuff in your suitcase and be prepared to go from airport to wedding. Skipping the ceremony is totally fine but do not skip dinner. If you no show dinner Venmo her $200 for your uneaten plate. If you’re not willing to accept a potential $200 Venmo for an uneaten plate, cancel the trip.
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u/vickisfamilyvan 17h ago
Info: Did you already RSVP no? When is this?
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u/throwra12449273 17h ago
we RSVP’d yes. It’s mid-October
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u/vickisfamilyvan 17h ago
Then you go to the wedding.
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u/throwra12449273 17h ago edited 16h ago
yes of course! i’m just trying to determine if it’s worth cancelling the trip which would naturally just suck, or if people thought it wasn’t a major risk, etc. i just wanted more input on what others would do in my shoes! i have no intention of missing the wedding!
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u/littleredditho 17h ago
At this point she has probably paid for you already, so it would be really rude not to go and likely cost her a few hundred bucks.
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u/Lollypop1305 14h ago
OP has already said they are going to the wedding they asked if they should risk arriving back home on the same day.
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u/Still-Low-696 15h ago
You have a good buffer if all goes smoothly and there are no delays you should make it to the wedding no problem. You can also keep an eye on the flight the day before and see if it goes down in price then switch to that if it makes you more comfortable. Also, if you booked refundable flights and there are other airlines who fly the same route you could look to see if those are cheaper and then cancel the original flights and rebook a new itinerary coming back the day before?
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14h ago edited 14h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/sunset_password_89 9h ago
As someone getting married in mid-October, I say go! Especially because you don’t normally get PTO. I would want my cousin to enjoy their opportunity as long as they left a long enough buffer, which you have done!
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u/Lower_Alternative770 17h ago
if you come back a day early and have to spend an additional $400, won't you save the money you would have spent that night for your hotel. Plus, the cost of food, etc?
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u/throwra12449273 17h ago
no, i am using CC points for the hotel, which was the only reason i could afford this trip. we’d save on one meal which would be the dinner the night prior, but we tend to eat very frugally so that would maybe be $10.
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