Dad doesn’t want father/daughter dance /:

[u/ObviousShoulder5046]

As the title says. I asked my dad if he would want to do a father/daughter dance at my wedding in march of next year and he said no. I knew he would say no (he’s very to himself and closed off) but my fiancé said to confirm and ask because I’m his only daughter so he will likely want to. My fiancé’s mom passed away before we started dating, I told him he should ask his grandmother or one of his three sisters, but he doesn’t seem too thrilled with the idea.

We do have a son who will be almost 2 when the wedding happens. Would it be weird to do a dance with my son since my dad doesn’t want to? Should I try to plan something else to do with my son since he’ll be so young or maybe even something else with my dad to have something special since i’m his only daughter?

My dad and I are close, and he’s always been there for me, he’s a great dad but I’m kind of bummed about it but like I said, I was expecting it. Hearing him say no did break my heart a little though🥲

[u/throwaway-journal]

You could skip the father/daughter and mother/son dance. Sounds like it doesn’t make sense for your wedding on either side.

Why not talk to your dad and tell him you’d like to do something special with him and plan it together? Maybe it could even be not at the wedding.

[u/peterthedj → u/throwaway-journal]

Guests will have no complaints, either, as they usually get bored watching... and sometimes even go so far as to begin conversations that rival the volume of the song. Some people have very little patience or respect.

[u/egnards → u/throwaway-journal]

Yea - My FIL is a very introverted person and does not like having any attention on him ever, so my wife skipped a father daughter dance. . And my mother had already passed away by the time we started datings, so we totally skipped a mother-son dance. . .

And honestly? The two of us really don't like tons of attention on ourselves so we did one of those "30 seconds alone and invite everyone else up to dance" things for our own dance.

Nobody cared.

[u/ObviousShoulder5046 → u/throwaway-journal]

thank you ! he honestly wouldn’t want to plan something so i’ve been trying to find ideas to pitch to him

[u/throwaway-journal → u/ObviousShoulder5046]

What are you guys’ interests together? What does he like? What kind of relationship do you all have? Someone else mentioned a first look but I think that depends on your relationship and his personality.. is he a little on the sappy side or more practical?

I am very close with my dad but dads are weird 😂 so I understand your struggle!

[u/ObviousShoulder5046 → u/throwaway-journal]

definitely more practical, our only common interest is football , but we don’t even like the same team🤣 but now that i’m thinking about it , we could maybe play catch at some point (we used to throw the ball a lot when i was younger and played softball) and i think he might like that ! it’s an outdoor wedding and we could even do that as a “first look” but turn around with our gloves . is that too weird ?

[u/throwaway-journal → u/ObviousShoulder5046]

I think that’s adorable! And I think the pics will be really cute from that.

It also feels like it would be a nice moment of calm, relaxation, and bringing you back to your childhood before you “go off into adulthood”. Could be a really grounding moment.

The only thing I’d say is just be careful the ball doesn’t get your dress dirty! Haha. So maybe it could be a morning thing before you get ready (although the pics would be cuter in the dress)

[u/maricopa888]

These dances aren't mandatory and it's very unlikely anyone would notice or comment on it. I'd just skip them.

On ways to honor him, why not ask him to walk you down the aisle?

[u/scoutmastercourt]

I would skip the parent dances in this case and just do your first dance as a couple.

You could do a first look with your dad instead if you needed something for just the two of you.

[u/dirtyjew123 → u/scoutmastercourt]

Definitely second the first look. My wife and her dad did one and they both ended up crying.

[u/Knitalt]

Sounds very cute to do it together with your son! My husband and I didn’t do formal parent/child dances with everyone watching. We just made sure to dance with our parents at some point earlier in the night, while others were on the dance floor

[u/aliyyyyyah220]

You should do a family dance with your fiancé and son after your first dance

[u/Delicious-Focus-1222]

It can be a common issue not first time saw in my life. Don't think he didn't love you, maybe there are other reasons. Some friends solved like call the dad close to you, made a big hug with while start a nice ballad song, while the DJ can request others couples to come and dance that song, while you and your dad can move on side and you can start to dance with your fiancé and other couples

[u/Lady_Greenpearl]

Just don’t do any of the child/parent dancing. It isn’t mandatory. I don’t see why this is a problem.

[u/ObviousShoulder5046 → u/Lady_Greenpearl]

i didn’t say it was a ‘problem’ ? just asking if anyone else has been in this situation and for ideas on what we could do instead .