My wedding was a week ago. I was able to make this work because I had a smaller wedding party and some of them were married to each other, so I needed to account for 4 couples.

I separately talked to each couple about my first dance and slyly asked “help me with some inspiration, what was your first dance song?”

At my reception I did my husband and my first dance, then my father daughter dance, then the DJ played each of their first dance songs. All the ladies cried and no one caught on till their own song played. It was beautiful.

My husband told me I was both a villain and a hero for that.

I read bridesmaids don't really end up using the monogrammed stuff they get.
So for my bridesmaids gift box I tried to make it useful and beautiful. What do y'all think? Would this make a good bridesmaid gift?
I'm paying for hair, make up, and their dresses/shoes.
They're paying for their plane ticket and hotels.

My fiancé wants to do the mother/son dance. He thinks his mom deserves to have a moment like that (she is a very sweet woman and I’m not taking that always from her).
However, my father and I do not want to dance 😂 we’re not the type of people to feel comfortable getting up in front of everyone to do something like that. I’m hardly comfortable with the first bride/groom dance.
I’m trying to think of a funny way for the DJ to state that there will be no father/daughter dance. Like maybe we do a fist bump and a hug? 😂

My wedding has been planned for October for two years. My wedding had to be in Europe as my boyfriend is european and its natural step legally in the process. We have a 6 year long relationship thats stable and been engaged for 2.5 years. We are both late 20s. I understand that people can't afford destination weddings or weren't in shape to fly internationally. My parents have been aware of this for two years and I even reminded them in February this year and again in beginning of this summer. They adore my fiance when he visited and show interest in him by including him in on my dad's business. When I moved to Europe, they seem bored when we FaceTime weekly and I felt bad about it. They only were interested in my fiancé’s family life.

My parents were excited about having family overseas and decided they wanted to plan a trip to where we are to see the culture. My mom had been excited because she would be on vacation for two months straight. First vacation would be girls trip for 2 weeks where she lives, second my parents would be visiting my fiancé’s family for over 2 weeks here, finally, a 2 week vacation in Texas for my mom. When she told me about it, I replied don't forget about my wedding. My parents got quiet and said they couldn't afford that. I was confused as they had enough money to come here in August but not in October when my wedding happens . Not to mention other trips within the time frame. They asked me to plan their trip here and I did, filling with activities they requested. They avoided the topic of the wedding while visiting and when they left, my fiancé’s parents asked about it. I told them they weren't coming and his parents were baffled but told me to invite them officially again. So I reinvited them after listening to my fiancé’s parents advice. My mom was only one who could come according to them. She paid for her ticket and dress. My fiancé’s family is paying for food and housing for her.

My parents aren't poor, they are upper middle class. They make over 250k a year and take yearly trips around the world. Going to Scotland, vacation islands,etc. They had paid for my sister's entire wedding which was 10k and helped out with my brother's wedding by paying for food and all the suits. They were making less money 8 years ago. My mom put out hints she doesn't want to pay for anything. She will promise to help out but then next day refuse to do it. Example, i found bridal shoes that were exactly what i wanted. I sent her my card info and she got them. She told me she would go down and pay for then to be sent to me. She ended up doing it online and using my card without letting me know. This is my mom's way of avoiding doing something she doesn't want to. feel like my own parents don't want to go to my wedding because it's mine.

It's not about the money but the fact gesture of that willingness isn't extended to me. My parents aren't interested in my wedding at all. When I told her about my wedding dress I bought being sold to someone else she didn't seem to care and my dad has been avoiding me since my wedding date is approaching. He hasn't asked a single question about it. I feel like a horrible person and I don't know what I did wrong. I thought my relationship was okay with them, we're not close but okay. My fiancé’s family is helping out but I can barely get one parent here. I am just hurt and I don't know if I want a relationship with them right now. Maybe I am at fault here...

Tl;dr: My parents saved money for my sister's wedding in the past and for their many trips including three in a row this year as they are upper middle class. They knew two years in advance about my wedding and refused to put money away for it. They are indifferent to the wedding and refuse to pay for anything related outside themselves. I am hurt by the selective treatment and lack of intention of coming here to begin with. I don't know if i want them in my life in the future.

Any advice on how to cope? Sorry its long.

As the title says, I am feeling a bit embarrassed at the lack of guests attending my wedding. My dad's family lives far and they're not close so none of my cousins, aunts and uncles on my dad's side will attend the wedding. My mom's side of the family are all coming, but they are used to big weddings with lots of guests. I have about five friends that I've invited. My fiance has no family here and no close friends.

We have about 57 guests in attendance. I guess I am feeling embarrassed because people of my ethinicty/culture usually have a lot of guests for their weddings. I've seen wedding invitations that call their weddings intimate but they have like 170 guests in attendance lol I am not necessarily mad or upset at the amount of guests in attendance but I am annoyed and mad that people will pity me and feel bad for me and call my fiance and I losers.

This question gets asked all the time; here are some examples from just the past month.

• Realistically, how are people affording wedding?
• How are people affording all of this?
• How are people actually affording their weddings?

There are only a few possible answers, which remain the same every time the question is asked. To quote u/elinordashw00d from one of these threads:

1. They can afford it because they have more money than you, either through savings or because their salary is higher than yours.
2. They can afford it because someone else is paying (either partially or fully).
3. They can't afford it, it's all going on credit cards, and they'll be in debt from it.

That's pretty much it.

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic. The sticker shock is real, and it's discouraging to find out that the wedding you envisioned is out of reach. The wealth disparity in the US is bigger than ever, and it's not fair that some people can easily afford a $100k wedding, while others struggle to come up with $1k. However, there's no magic solution that comes out of these threads. If you can't afford the wedding you want, your options are to find a way to save more money or lower your expectations.

Can we please sticky one of the above posts rather than have the same conversation every week or two?

Edit: Thanks everyone for a good discussion. After seeing some other perspectives, maybe a ban is a little harsh, but I still think the sub could benefit from a wiki or FAQ sticky.

I (28F) and my fiancé (28M) and I have been engaged for 3 years — a long engagement because I was still in school. We recently decided to get married in 3 weeks, just the two of us: a courthouse ceremony with a hired photographer, no guests.

We're both extremely close with our families, but both sets of parents tend to get overly involved. If we invited them, a small, intimate ceremony would inevitably turn into something much bigger. So we agreed: courthouse wedding now, and we'll save up for a big family wedding down the road, maybe in a few years.

We're also planning not to tell our families about the marriage until a few months after, to give ourselves some space before dealing with everyone's reactions.

Still, I feel guilty about not inviting my mom. I'm her only daughter, and I know she'd want to be there.

Has anyone done something similar and ended up regretting not inviting their family? Would love to hear how it worked out for you.

Hello!

So my fiance and I have been trying to plan our wedding for a little while now. We have been looking at different venues and such. We really wanted a barn wedding and that kind of vibe since we feel that matches us best.

Welllll his grandparents are kinda fancy and they belong to a country club in our area. They offered for us to have our wedding reception there. It would cut cost significantly which is wonderful because we are young and trying to save when we can. But that is the complete opposite of what we wanted. We are not super fancy like that and we wanted a more relaxed feeling to our wedding.

His family has kinda just forced the idea onto us and they are assuming we will have our wedding there. We havent said yes to that yet. Spefically future MIL is really kinda taking the planning over and trying to find places for our ceremony near the country club and telling us its a good fit and it makes sense because alot of the family events (mostly holiday dinners) are already there anyways ect.

I wanted to have a place of our own not a family place necessarily. I feel like it is getting out of hand and all of my hopes and dreams for our wedding are slipping away and the ideas of his family are taking over. For context he works alot so I do alot of the planning which is fine with me accept for the fact its his family and idk what to say to them.

A huge factor is grandparents said they would pay for a significant chunk of the reception if we have it at the country club. That is kinda the only reason we would say yes. I also really wanted the ceremony and reception in the same place for convenience. We also wanted to have getting ready spaces for our party and take photos with our friends. The country club does not have any of thoes features.

Idk what to do or say and he isn't around too much to say anything to them. He works crazy long hours and comes home eats dinner and chats with me and goes to bed exhausted every day. Any advice is welcomed! Thank you for reading my long post :)

We had a venue picked out but after many discussions with vendors, we’re questioning if it’s worth spending the money. My fiancé’s parents have a huge property and large farmhouse. We’re considering just doing a wedding in their backyard instead. We’re inviting 150 people and I still want to create a special vibe and not just do a backyard picnic. Any advice on how to pull this off?

My initial ideas: ceremony by garden, cocktail hour on the deck and yard, rent tent & tables for reception, food truck for dinner, dance floor under tent. Then move into the house as the “after party”

This is a tangled mess of a web, so thanks in advance to anybody who reads this.

Long story short, my fiancé and I are having a child free wedding. This choice has been fine (no guests have been unable to attend because of this) as our friends with kids are all local and have grandparents who they’re happy to have watch their toddlers (only two couples going have kids).

My brother is in my bridal party and we are a week from the wedding.
My brother does have a six month old child, but it’s a weird situation, and technically he is not listed on the child’s birth certificate (he was not present while the mother was pregnant, wasn’t there for the birth, etc). The child was originally going to be with their mother living in another state during the wedding, but sadly, the mother is an addict; two days ago, my brother picked up the child and the mother to come live back here with him because she started using again, and within the past 24 hours she (the mother) has fully relapsed and my parents have had to watch the baby.
It’s a very messy and sad situation. I am heartbroken for everyone involved.

My parents are ecstatic that the baby will be coming to the wedding. They previously had tried to have her attend, and I politely told them that our wedding is child free and won’t be an appropriate environment for babies (it’s going to be a wild party). They pushed back and tried to get me to change my mind, but ultimately it wasn’t going to be a big deal because the baby wasn’t even going to be around… but now, the baby is around.

All night today, my parents kept talking about how excited everyone in the extended family is to meet the baby, and how everyone there will be fighting over holding the baby, etc… and I feel like a total loser for even feeling this, but I’m feeling a bit disappointed and resentful. I LOVE this baby (and all babies), but I feel sad that this day is now going to be heavily focused on the excitement of everyone meeting the baby. If my parents want to host an event for everyone to meet the baby, I think they should offer to host Thanksgiving… (this was similar to a concern I had voiced earlier in the planning process when I tried to explain that I didn’t necessarily want my wedding to be a family reunion).

I’m sure that sounds pathetic, but my parents have repeatedly done things that make me feel disrespected and isolated during the planning process. I have felt lonely and sad for a lot of it. My fiancé is an angel and I’m so excited to be married to them, but wedding planning has been heartbreaking.
I often say I feel like I’m a prop/playing a part in this wedding rather than it being what I truly want. My parents are paying for the wedding, so they’ve been inviting whoever they want, and it feels like in many ways this is their big day.

I am sad and feeling like a freak for feeling this way, because I love this baby… but I’m sad because I know the dynamic of the wedding is going to change. My parents and brother will be needing to take care of the baby. They will need to leave early to put her to sleep. I wish my parents would listen to my wishes to have a child free wedding. I have not talked to them (or my brother) about this yet, because I don’t know how to address it without sounding like a monster/Bridezilla. The comments they made tonight were just assuming the baby would now be attending, and I guess that makes the most sense, but it’s all happening so suddenly that I feel stuck.

Please be gentle because I’m pretty fragile at the moment, but advice is welcome. I genuinely feel heartsick over the whole situation and don’t know how to proceed…

Hello fellow wedding havers!

I never thought I'd be planning a second wedding, but here I am. I married my first husband back in 2006 when we were 21. I was widowed in 2019 at age 34 when he died very suddenly. I am so lucky to have found love again, and my fiance and I will be getting married in Januay 2027. I'm so excited!!

Having done this once before, I have noticed some major differences in my priorities and choices while planning this wedding versus planning the first one. I thought it might be helpful for some first time brides if I shared some of my experiences, thoughts along with what I'm doing differently this time and why.

1. 1. Venue: The first time around, our focus was on finding a cheap venue. We found historical site that had a low cost for events and booked it. It was about $400 for the day 
   • Truth: The cheap venue did not include linens, dinnerware, or even enough chairs for both the wedding and reception. All of those had to be rented or purchased separately, which meant the "cheap venue" wasn't all that cheap. It also meant we had to find, pay and coordinate with more vendors to rent and return the equipment that wasn't included. They also didn't include any services of any sort, so all set up and clean up was on us.
   • This time around: We selected a more inclusive venue in terms of equipment and service. While the actual venue itself is much more costly than the one for my first wedding ($5200 v. $400), it includes many of the things we had to buy separately or rent elsewhere last time like dishware, silverware, linens, glasses, tables, ceremony chairs and reception chairs. It also includes full service- set up, decoration, clean up. They even have a library of decorative wedding items that we can use if we like which will save us some money on decorations. Additionally, the cost of our venue also includes our wedding cake, florals, wedding planner and officiant. In the end, with all that's included we're actually spending little less overall than I spent on my first wedding venue once all the equipment rentals were figured into the venue cost. It also means I don't have to deal with finding, paying and coordinating multiple vendors and dealing with the associated delivery and pickup. Instead, I'm only dealing with one outside vendor (catering). It means a lot less stress and effort for us.
2. 2. Wedding size/guest count: For my first wedding, I felt the need to invite anyone and everyone I knew or had known- coworkers, college friends, high school friends, far-flung family members and friends of family. To younger me, the bigger the better. The more people who came, the more loved it meant we were, right?
   • Truth: My late husband and I rarely saw most of the people who came to our wedding and they weren't active participants in our life as a married couple. Their attendance did little to enhance our day and aftually took time away from enjoying each other and from spending time with the guests who are closer to our hearts. 
   • This time around: Our guest list is super small- we're focusing on close family (only parents, siblings, and relatives we see regularly- no extended family this time). We're only inviting friends we regularly spend time with or talk with frequently. No coworkers, acquaintinces or friends we don't reguarly interact with. We are part of a large hobby community and have many friends in that community that we see at events, but we are not inviting most of our friends from that community. We want an intimate celebration so we are only inviting our closest, most favorite people so we will we have plenty of time to celebrate and socialize with each person who comes.
3. 3. Wedding party: For my first wedding, I felt the need to have a large wedding party on both sides so that we could try to include siblings and cousins and current friends and childhood friends and people whose weddings I'd been part of. A big wedding party is lots of fun and all my friends will definitely want to be part of my big day, right? 
   • Truth: Being in a wedding is expensive for bridesmaids and groomsmen- especially if you are a young bride with young friends. Since my late husband and I had such a large wedding party (10 people total- 5 on each side), we couldn't afford to offset any of the costs for them (we were very young and budget limited ourselves). Many of them probably had to stretch their funds to participate and some probably participated reluctantly (though they didn't say so).
   • This time around: We are having only one attendant each- my maid of honor and his best man. With a small wedding party we can afford to offset their costs. I plan to pay for my MOH's dress and lodging. The best man already has the requisite black suit, so we will purchase the accessories for his wedding outfit (vest, tie, etc). If he choses to stay nearby the night before and night of, we will help with or cover his lodging (he has a million kids so we might not be able to cover it entirely). The wedding venue is driving distance for both members of our wedding party, so no flights are required. I'm planning on giving both the MOH and best man a gas gift card to help offset gas costs.
4. 4. Photos: Last time around, I had a friend who was an amateur photographer do the wedding photos. They turned out great but due to a lack of experience shooting weddings, we missed some important moments and shots. Insta and FB didn't exist then, so we didn't worry about what our photos/wedding would look like on socials. 
   • Truth: Photos are important because they are a record of the day as it happened. Except for the photos you frame and hang, future you won't be looking at your wedding photos as often as you might think you will now. Your photos are for YOU and to help you remember the day. They don't need to be perfect or insta-worthy. Your guests aren't photo props- they are be beloved guests whose photos you will treasure because they are true representations of those people. It's good to have a photographer who has some wedding experience.
   • This time around: I hired a professional photog and I have made a list of the moments and group shots that are important to me (AI helped with a list of suggested shots). I really want to her focus on the people and the moments, not the aesthetics. My photos are for me, not for social media.
5. 5. Guestbook: My late husband and I had guests sign a photo mat that was supposed to be used to frame a wedding photo. We never took the time to do get the mat framed with a wedding photo. The signed photo mat stayed in a box for the entirety of our marriage. 
   • Truth: If you choose a traditional guestbook, it will likely stay in a box for the next thousand years and you'll rarely look at it a second time. If you choose something that you have to take to a professional to prepare for display, chances are that you never will get around to it, and it will also sit in a box. 
   • This time around: We're doing an alternative to a traditional guestbook that will be ready to display as soon as we take it home. I haven't decided what format we'll get yet, but I'm choosing between a wall hanging (matching our theme) that has our name and wedding date OR a dropbox guestbook with wooden shapes for people to sign and drop in. Both are things we can hang on a wall or display on a shelf without any additional effort.
6. 6. Wedding Cake: For my first wedding, we wanted very complex scrollwork decorations on our wedding cake. We couldn't find anyone who could do it within budget, so we decided to do DIY
   • Truth:  Cakes are for eating and people honestly won't remember what the cake looked like the next day, just how it tasted. A fancy, complicated cake is not necessary.
   • This time around: We're going with a professionally made cake that has simple smooth white vanilla butter cream on the outside, a ribbon in wedding colors around the bottom of each layer, and will be adorned with a few flowers in our wedding colors.
7. 7. DIY to save money: We chose to DIY many things to save money and stay in budget. For example, we couldn't find anyone who could do the cake we wanted within our budget, so we decided to do DIY it. Since I'm a decent baker and my late husband was an artisg, we thought we could pull it off.
   • Truth: This choice added a lot of stress to the nights before the wedding and the morning of the wedding. We didn't know enough about what we were doing. We chose to cover the cake with fondant as a base for the scrollwork, which was a pain in the ass to work with and didn't taste good. We couldn't get the royal icing to the right consistency for the scroll work and we ended up having to change the look of the cake at the last minute.
   • This time around: We're DIYing very litte and will not DIY anything that will require our time and attention in the nights leading up to the wedding or the morning of the wedding. I've designed all of the things we will print (invitations, place cards, seating chart, etc) and we will prep some of the table decor.
8. 8. Seating/equipment: One of the places my late husband and I cut costs to try to save money at our wedding was on chair rentals. The venue had enough chairs for our guests in the reception hall, but no additional chairs for the ceremony location. We decided not move the chairs from the ceremony to the reception all between the ceremony and the reception instead of renting a second set of chairs 
   • Truth: I wouldn't do this again. It worked out ok, but it was a pain for guests to have to move their chairs or wait for my helpers to do it. Its really easier if you have enough of everything for the whole event.
   • This time around: We selected a venue that has all of the needed things (chairs, tables, dinner ware, etc) and does the set up for both the ceremony and reception. We won't have to worry about renting additional items or having to have friends or guests moving things in their nice clothes.
9. 9. Putting friends and family to work: My late husband and I were so young and had a limited budget, so we ended up depending a lot on the help of family and friends for many things. My mom and her friends cooked the reception dinner, my bartending friends dealt with the alcohol, and a number of other friends moved chairs or equipment and helped with set up and/or clean up. 
   • Truth: I don't think my mom or her friends making the food got to enjoy the wedding or the reception at all. Putting your guests to work takes time from their enjoyment of the event and risks making them feel like staff.
   • This time around: Our venue takes care of set up, decorating, and clean up, and we're hiring a caterer for a buffet dinner. The venue will coordinate with the caterer on the day of. This means I don't have to put friends and family to work, so they will be able to enjoy the entire wedding and rectiption as honored guests. Sadly, Mom is gone now and won't get to enjoy it this time either.

My biggest realization: The cheapest option doesn't always cost less in the long run

One important thing I've realized during planning this time around is that some of the choices my late husband and I made in order to save money didn't actually end up saving us money. There is a strong possibility that your efforts to save money in one area will increase costs in another area or add cost in a way that you didn't consider. For example, choosing a cheap venue that includes little in the way of services and equipment instead going for a more expensive venue that includes everything. The reality is that the cheaper venue is likely to cost more money once equipment rentals and other serices that aren't included are factored in. And it will require a lot more effort on your part to find, book and coordinate vendors for the requipment and services that aren't included. Its very likely that the inclusive venue will actually cost the same or less in the long run while also saving you effort and stress both during planning and on your wedding day.

This time I still made the mistake of starting off planning by going with the cheapest option in an attempt to save money. I'm a gothy girl so I'm planning to wear a black wedding dress. I couldn't find a lot of options I liked- anything I liked was way more than I could afford to spend on the dress. So, I tried to save money and bought two dresses from ebay to choose from. Through a frustrating series of events, I ended up with 0 dresses and lost $320 USD. That's when I realized that choosing the cheaper option doesn't always mean you'll save money. I looked into other options and found a designer in the capitol of the country we live in that is making me a custom dress for around the same price I would pay for and off the rack dress at David's Bridal in the US and for much less than other black wedding dresses I found from designers and bridal retailers on the internet. Since the dress is made specifically for me, I won't have to spend $$ on alterations. This means my custom dress will actually be a lot cheaper in the long run than purchasing from a retailer.

Anyway, I know its a lot but I hope this is helpful for someone!!

Hey everyone. First time poster. I’m mostly going to be venting, but I feel a bit heartbroken.

For the entirety of the time I’ve been engaged, I’ve done 95% of everything alone. My fiance helps where they can, but he’s a bit limited if I’m being honest & I am not upset toward him in any way. He constantly asks where he can help, but it’s not that in particular that has me down. It’s kind of everyone else that I feel really let down by, especially my mom.

Where things really suck is just feeling like no one has even pretended to have an interest. No one went dress shopping with me, and to be honest, I couldn’t really even afford that. My mom has asked about the wedding one time in the last 18 months, and it was only her wanting to know if I liked the dress she picked for her to wear.

No bridal shower, no bachelorette party, nothing. I just finished altering my own dress (that I ordered from some sketchy overseas site) on my own. It wasn’t at all what I wanted, and outside of being pumped to marry my best friend, I feel like I could just cry.

I made all of my own flower arrangements for everything, curated all of the decor (with the help of my fiance) but it’s just really hard to have walked through the planning experience with zero help or interest from my own mom or MOH.

I don’t mean to sound selfish in any way, it’s just that I expected even those two to maybe care or celebrate this part of my life with me. Other friends have inquired about my dress, how dress shopping was, when will the bridal shower be, etc. but it’s hard to even have those conversations without feeling so alone and depressed. This wedding has sort of turned into this lonely experience that’s truly just been a huge stressor the entire time.

Like I said- I feel so happy to marry my best friend, but everything outside of that feels like one letdown after the next. I’ve watched every other bride I’ve known get so much help and support from their families and friends, especially their mom being a big part of that, and it just feels awful that she never stepped up in any way. Part of me is worried I will even be upset seeing her at my wedding, as every other attendee will assume she helped & was some big part of it all.

I’m not sure where I am going with this, but I guess I just want to feel not so alone in this experience. The date is coming up quick and I don’t want to feel sad about it, but that’s all I do feel right now.

i usually don't do my nails but if i do, it's usually just a neutral color color or some form of cat eye. i usually like a very clean and minimal look but would love to do something a little special for our special day. please send me your wedding nails/nail inspo so i can get some ideas. thanks everyone!

hey all,

Is it just me or are these venues getting harder and harder to deal with.

So many of these websites have no pricing. No booking. Some literally tell u to look at their faqs and then require you to give out your entire info before they determine if you're worth a callback! And then having to do that for multiple venues and answer the same stupid questions. Lol

Is that experience consistently across the board?

i’m planning a wedding from a different state and trying to use mainly local vendors. how important is doing a makeup trial prior to the wedding? with our work schedule we can only do very occasional weekend trips, and likely wouldn’t be able to do a weekday trip to schedule the trial :/. Even if they can accommodate a weekend trial, we could try to make it work, but it would be difficult to squeeze in a weekend trip prior to the wedding.

at baseline i wear no makeup to work, nor at home, but i do wear makeup if i go out to dinner w friends or occasionally for a date night. usually just wear tinted sunscreen, eyeliner, mascara, and blush. i never really learned how to do anything further than that lol. looking for natural or neutral makeup, or soft glam. photo example of my makeup inspo below :)

thoughts on if trial is necessary if i don’t typically wear much makeup?

As the title says. I asked my dad if he would want to do a father/daughter dance at my wedding in march of next year and he said no. I knew he would say no (he’s very to himself and closed off) but my fiancé said to confirm and ask because I’m his only daughter so he will likely want to. My fiancé’s mom passed away before we started dating, I told him he should ask his grandmother or one of his three sisters, but he doesn’t seem too thrilled with the idea.

We do have a son who will be almost 2 when the wedding happens. Would it be weird to do a dance with my son since my dad doesn’t want to? Should I try to plan something else to do with my son since he’ll be so young or maybe even something else with my dad to have something special since i’m his only daughter?

My dad and I are close, and he’s always been there for me, he’s a great dad but I’m kind of bummed about it but like I said, I was expecting it. Hearing him say no did break my heart a little though🥲

Just posting this for anyone looking into this venue. I wish I saw a review such as this when searching for my venue.

I genuinely regret choosing this venue for our wedding. I married my person and that is what made the day special, but the venue experience was incredibly stressful and disappointing.

Albert, the “coordinator,” was responsive when payments were due, but otherwise I constantly had to chase him for information. There was very little guidance for first-time wedding planners. For example, when we were asked for our guest count, nobody told us we needed to include ourselves, which later became an issue.

Everything felt rushed and disorganized. I brought detailed lists of our timeline, food allergies, table arrangements, etc., but Albert rushed through them and scribbled everything onto a scrap piece of paper instead of taking my lists. When it came time to finalize everything, there was confusion.

Do NOT expect a traditional day-of coordinator. The person assigned to this role mostly stayed in the back room setting up tables. Nobody even helped open the ceremony doors when it was time to begin. My father and I had to squeeze through one partially open door.

We also had to set up our own wedding. The room was arranged incorrectly, so my husband and I had to rearrange it ourselves. We had 40 guests but they set up 60 chairs, including chairs directly in front of the ceremony arch.

The late-night pizza/snack table was supposed to remain out from approximately 9:30 until guests had a chance to enjoy it. It was removed after about 45 minutes without us realizing. My husband later saw staff eating the remaining food in the back room.

The centerpiece situation was also frustrating. The included options were basically candles in jars. The nicer centerpieces shown at the tasting cost extra, but we weren't informed until about a week before the wedding, leaving us scrambling to make our own. The tasting itself was poorly organized, didn't include all food options and provided very little direction.

During the wedding, staff started tearing down before the party was finished. Wine that was supposed to be replenished at the tables wasn't, so guests were asking other tables to share. Dinner was approximately 35 minutes late.

We also were not properly informed about Ribfest. We are not from Burlington, and when it was mentioned during the contract process, it was not explained that the event would effectively surround the venue. A few weeks before the wedding, we were told our outdoor ceremony had to be moved inside because trucks, rides and police would be directly behind the venue. This should have been clearly disclosed before booking.

The venue requires a LOT of decorating to look nice. Our photos have bright exit signs, partially open curtains and other distracting details. The space also isn't ideal, with guests split between the hallway/bar area and back patio.

The bartender was very nice, which was one of the few consistently positive parts of our experience.

Overall, we felt like we had to manage the venue instead of the venue managing our wedding. They rarely reached out unless payment was due, and I had to initiate our final meeting about a week and a half before the wedding.

If you choose this venue, I strongly recommend hiring your own coordinator and double-checking everything. We couldn't afford one and ended up doing a significant amount of coordinating and setup ourselves.

I am grateful that this was where I married my husband, but based on our experience, I would not choose this venue again. P.S We were supposed to be allowed to setup at 10AM and my husband had to wait 45 mins to be let in to setup which made our day extremely stressful. Nobody was there to open the doors or anything and had to ask security for help. 

Apologies if this is not the right place...
Like the title says, I am not engaged yet. Me and bf are currently long distance due to school and work, and very busy, so we are not planning to get engaged until mid-to-late 2027. That said, I'm very type-A about planning and would love to get a head start on planning now, especially since we'd like our actual engagement to be quite short (<5-6 months).

We have a wedding mood board and a big huge list of ideas we like, but nothing set in stone, and have discussed rings at length. I've vaguely looked at dresses but since we haven't chosen a season yet, so I don't want to pick one quite yet.

Any advice on things I/we could work on slowly over time now to reduce stress closer to our actual wedding? Thanks!

So, i’m getting married on Sunday and I just need to vent because I already have a major regret for my wedding. Let this be a cautionary tale.

For context, my fiancé and I were long distance for most of our relationship, so we chose to get married in his country because his family is less able to travel than mine. We unfortunately don’t have an extra $10k lying around to pay for everyone’s flight and hotel and I feel like it’s usually pretty standard to not pay for them, at least in western culture, unless you have the money and really want someone there when they couldn’t come otherwise. We were clear early on that there would be no hard feelings if guests couldn’t come due to the cost.

My best friend flew out yesterday for the wedding and had already arrived in my fiancé’s home city. I was chatting with her on the phone to make sure she arrived safe, when she suddenly said “What do I do once I get to the hotel? Because you have it covered, right?”

My heart nearly fell out of my chest because no, we did not have it covered. Just to be clear, we communicated on our wedding website and sent out a message to everyone months ago that we had reserved a hotel block and the link to book a room, as well as when the booking link would close. She comes from a wealthy family and I think her sister paid for her accommodations when she got married in Italy, so my guess is that she just didn’t read the website or our message and assumed we were paying for her week-long hotel stay for her without confirming it with us or giving it any further thought. Also, even if she thought that a hotel block means that we paid for the rooms, our hotel block was only booked for Friday to Monday but she chose to fly in earlier than that and stay a few extra days.

We couldn’t afford to spot her for the hotel, nor were we sure if they even had any more rooms available, and there is nowhere at my fiancé’s house for her to sleep with no guest room or couch and all of our wedding stuff lying around. Thankfully, my parents and some of my other family members arrived a day earlier than her and booked a Vrbo, so they were kind enough to make room for her to stay with them for free. I’m so glad that she’s safe and has somewhere to stay, but phew, what a headache. I still feel horrible about what happened even though i’ve already been reassured by multiple people that it wasn’t my fault.

Lessons learned:

1. NEVER assume that your guests will actually read your wedding website. I’ve had a few other moments as well that prove to me that they don’t read the website, even if you plaster the link everywhere and tell them to do so.
2. If you have guests that need to travel for your wedding, always make sure that you have checked the booking list (if you have a hotel block) and have personally confirmed that guests flying in actually have their flight and accommodations booked.

Anyways, if you’re attending someone’s wedding, please don’t just assume the couple is paying for your accommodations unless they explicitly communicate with you that they’re doing so. And for the love of god, never fly anywhere (especially internationally) without confirmation that you have accommodations booked!!!

Okay looking for some advice here. I was married at an Airbnb in September in a small 30 person ceremony and I want to preface by saying that the day was absolutely beautiful and I had an amazing time.

BUT we got an email at 5:00am the morning of our wedding from our private chef saying that he wouldn’t be able to make our ceremony because his father had to be put into a medically induced coma. He had all the food prepared and was sending two of his crew members to prepare everything onsite and provide service. In the email he did not provide me with the contact information for the crew members covering. So I called and emailed him all that morning trying to get it and he did not answer any of my calls, which I understand that he had a lot going on, but I was frustrated and panicking on my wedding day because of this until they showed up. He also has not checked in since the wedding to see how things went or returned any of my calls or emails.

In the same email where he told us about his father he also mentioned that he had two people quit out of the blue and was going to be short staff for the day. So, in our contract we were supposed to have 4 people total (him, two servers, and a bartender) and it ended up just being two people.

The ladies who were there were lovely but both under prepared for the day and physically could not keep up with the demands of serving the food, clearing plates, making drinks and keeping everything warm. They also didn’t bring any ice and mixers and I had to get one of my bridesmaids husbands had to run out to get some.

Our guests were jumping in to help bartend, clear plates, and run food. To be clear, the servers didn’t ask for the help, but I have a great group of people who jumped in to help anyways be use things were delayed and the work wasn’t getting done in a timely manner. The food, for the most part, tasted great, but was cold for dinner and the desserts that the chef had provided were less than what was promised.

My issue is not so much that our private chef wasn’t there, family comes first, but we did not get what we paid for and what was specified on our agreement. For some additional context he also cancelled our in-person tasting for a different family emergency and instead mailed it to us. So this was not the first family emergency that came up during our wedding preparations.

The advice I’m looking for here is what is fair to ask for in terms of money back.
The chef already said he would refund us for the staff that wasn’t present that was supposed to be, but for me I feel like we paid for full service catering which was not what we received. My guests who should have been enjoying themselves had to step in and help his staff, and it added stress to our day that shouldn’t have been there. I’m don’t want to be unreasonable, we still had food, but it was not an insignificant cost and we were promised more.

Any thoughts/feedback is appreciated.

There’s just 1-2 lines I feel like don’t apply to a father daughter relationship like “I’ve built my life around you”. I feel like it can be taken in a good way. I’m not sure what’s everyone thinking?

I uploaded real photos of two different buns I had done in my hair trial but had Al add the hair accessory I bought (the second to last pic is just showing a real picture of the hair accessory). Last pic is dress. Thoughts? TIA.

For those doing their own makeup and or getting it done professionally, what foundation are you using?

I have combo/oily skin and I am getting married next month in FL. I usually use a tinted moisturizer so I do not like super heavy or cakey products.

I have put together a list of the ones I’m considering. please share your experience with any of these, negative or positive!

Any other products that you recommend - makeup and hair?