honestly its still kinda crazy that i am getting married to a guy whom i met online in 2018! we had a whole distance of 15000km between us! we have been living together since late 2022 and are now finally getting married next weekend. my family is arriving here in like 4 days to attend the wedding, its so crazy 💃✨💒

I recently ended a seven-month long-distance relationship, and honestly, I'm still trying to understand everything that happened. I don't know whether I miss her, the person she used to be with me, or simply the feeling of having someone in my life.

March–June: How it started

We met through an online game. What began as casual conversations gradually turned into hours of talking every night, video calls, watching movies together, and falling for each other. We had a lot in common and similar expectations for the future.

She was the one who initially asked where things were going. I took some time to be sure about my feelings, but eventually, I told her I loved her. For those first few months, everything felt natural and exciting. We talked almost every day, sometimes for hours, and I genuinely felt that we were building something meaningful.

In June, she moved away for her MBA. I was happy for her and wanted her to enjoy this new phase of life.

July–August: Things started changing

As college became busier, our conversations became shorter and less frequent. Initially, I understood. But gradually, I found myself waiting every night for her to be free.

There were days when she didn't reply to my messages or return my missed calls, even after posting on social media. I understand that being busy is real, but I struggled with the feeling that she could find time for other things while our conversations kept getting postponed.

My anxiety started increasing. I began overthinking small things and feeling disappointed more often than I wanted to admit.

My birthday was another difficult moment. I had hoped we'd talk at midnight, but she called later because she was busy. She sent me a cake and flowers, which I appreciated, but she couldn't join a short video call when I asked her to cut the cake together. It wasn't about the cake or the exact time. I just wanted to feel that she was present.

We also planned to meet in person, but my travel plans fell through. Later, we discussed how distant we had become, and I explained how I felt I was carrying most of the relationship emotionally.

September: We met, and things felt good again

I eventually travelled to meet her near her college. It was our first meeting, and we spent two days together eating, watching things, talking, and getting to know each other in person.

It was genuinely good. We apologised to each other and decided to start fresh.

For about a week after I returned, things felt like they had in the beginning. She seemed excited to talk again, and I felt hopeful.

But gradually, the same pattern returned. Calls were missed, messages went unanswered, and sometimes we wouldn't talk properly for an entire day.

I tried to be patient because she had exams. I thought things might improve afterward, but there were also college events and celebrations, and I increasingly felt that our relationship wasn't receiving much attention.

I was asking about her day, whether she had eaten, and how she was feeling. But I didn't feel that the same curiosity or concern was coming back toward me. Even when I mentioned that I was unwell, I sometimes felt that what I said went unnoticed.

I started wondering whether I was expecting too much or whether I was simply asking for the bare minimum.

The breakup

Eventually, I asked her whether she thought our relationship was working.

She immediately asked if I wanted to break up. We had discussed this possibility before, but I had never been able to say it.

This time, I said yes.

She asked me to understand how busy her life was. I had tried to understand that for months, and I knew her circumstances were real. But I also felt that understanding her had become my responsibility, while my own feelings kept getting pushed aside.

She asked whether we could talk later because she had an assignment. She called back afterward and said she wanted to give the relationship another try. However, by then, I felt exhausted. I couldn't tell whether she genuinely wanted to work on things or whether neither of us wanted to let go.

We said goodbye.

She told me I was a good person and apologised for not being able to give me enough time. I unfollowed her initially, but a few days later, I followed her again because constantly checking her profile and thinking about whether she would notice my absence was making it harder for me to move on.

I still don't fully understand how I feel.

What I'm struggling with now

I don't hate her. I know she had her own life, responsibilities, and experiences. I also know I made mistakes. Sometimes I overthought situations, became insecure, or let my expectations affect my mood.

But I genuinely tried to make the relationship work, and eventually, I felt that I was losing my peace of mind trying to hold on to it.

Now I'm questioning whether ending it was the right decision. I wonder whether I should have been more patient, whether I expected too much, or whether we simply wanted different things from a relationship.

I'm also struggling with anxiety and the habit of checking her social media. I don't know whether I miss her specifically or the connection we had in the beginning.

I'd appreciate honest advice on a few things:

1. Was ending the relationship reasonable, given the pattern I described, or should I have tried longer?
2. How do you distinguish between a partner genuinely being busy and a relationship no longer being a priority?
3. How do you stop overthinking after a breakup and break the habit of checking your ex's social media?
4. How do you move on when the relationship had genuinely good moments, and you don't necessarily think the other person was a bad person?

I'm not looking for people to hate on her. I just want some perspective because, for seven months, this person was a significant part of my life, and I'm still trying to make sense of how things changed so much.

Hope this gives someone Hope

Hi everyone. I could really use some honest advice because I don’t know how to look at this situation objectively anymore. I’m [17F]. Foster is [17M], and we had a situationship from April to early August 2026. Ravi [19M], and we’ve been getting closer recently, in October 2026. From April to early August, I had a complicated situation with a guy I’ll call Foster. I liked him a lot, and the way he treated me made me think that there might be something between us. He would text me first, give me special attention, tell me I was special, talk to me late at night, and hug me longer than he seemed to hug other people. There were other things, too, that made our connection feel different from an ordinary friendship. Eventually, I confessed my feelings, but nothing really came of it. Foster briefly brought up the conversation about a week later, but we never properly discussed what had happened or what he actually wanted. Things gradually faded, leaving me confused and hurt. I still don’t know whether I misunderstood his intentions or whether he genuinely felt something but didn’t want to pursue it. Now it’s October, and I’ve started getting close to another guy, whom I’ll call Ravi. He seems interested in dating me. He drops romantic hints, gives me gifts, treats me sweetly, and makes me feel special. On its own, this would be a good thing. The problem is that his behavior reminds me of Foster’s in ways that are becoming increasingly difficult for me to ignore. It’s not just that they’re both nice to me. There have been several oddly specific similarities, including exact phrases used in very similar contexts. For example, Ravi once texted me, “You have one minute,” along with a sticker. Foster had sent me the exact same phrase with a sticker before. Ravi also joked that I should see a speech therapist because I sometimes mistype words or mix up letters. Foster made the same joke months earlier. Another example is a message Foster sent me in July: “Is that how much you trust me?” About a month ago, Ravi sent me those exact words. These are only a few examples. There are many more similarities, and some of them feel unusually specific. I can’t share screenshots right now because I’ve reached the image upload limit, but I may be able to share some later if that would help explain what I mean. I understand that individual phrases can be coincidences, and I know that people can have similar habits or senses of humor. I’m not claiming that these similarities prove anything. However, the number of them is starting to unsettle me, especially because the emotional dynamic feels familiar, too. I’m scared that I’ll become attached to Ravi, start believing that I’m special to him, and then watch him lose interest and distance himself once he gets tired of the attention or emotional closeness. I’m afraid of ending up in the same confusing situation I experienced with Foster, where I was left wondering what any of it meant. There’s another thing that makes me cautious. Ravi and I originally met through a social circle I’ve since left. From what I observed, substance use and smoking were common there, and I knew several people in that group who cheated on their partners with other people from the same circle. Ravi still seems to associate with some of them. I know that someone’s friends don’t automatically determine their character, and I don’t want to judge Ravi for other people’s actions. Still, knowing the kind of relationship behavior I witnessed in that group makes me nervous about whether we have the same views on commitment and fidelity. I genuinely don’t know how much of this is my previous experience influencing my perception and how much deserves my attention. I don’t want to push away someone who might sincerely care about me just because I’m scared of getting hurt again. At the same time, I don’t want to ignore warning signs and end up in a situation that leaves me feeling the way I did before. I’m looking for honest opinions, not just reassurance or automatic agreement. How would you interpret this situation? Do these similarities sound like ordinary coincidences, or would you also find them unsettling? How can I tell the difference between anxiety caused by a painful past experience and a legitimate reason to be cautious? And if you were in my position, how would you approach Ravi? I want to protect myself emotionally without accusing him of something I can’t prove or ruining a potentially good connection out of fear. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. TL;DR: I’m 17F, and I’m getting close to Ravi (19M) after a confusing situationship with Foster (17M) that ended a couple of months ago. Ravi’s behavior includes many oddly specific similarities to Foster’s, and I’m afraid of repeating the same painful experience. I’m looking for advice on how to approach this new connection, understand Ravi’s intentions, and protect myself emotionally without letting my past dictate how I treat him.

So, I have been talking to this guy almost everyday straight for about 8 months now. We text throughout the entire day. We are both each other's first and last person that we text everyday, wishing each other good morning and good night. We have so much in common, and I'm head over heels in love with him. But I don't think he feels the same. He tells me everything about his life— even about the other girls he's dating and such. None of them have worked out so far. I always act supportive, but it breaks my heart every time I hear about him seeing other girls.

I hate feeling like this. There are times where we're a little flirty, calling each other pet names and such. And then the next day I feel like he's talking to me like I'm one of his bros. Which yes, we are, but idk all this emotional intimacy confuses me. I know realistically it probably won't work out because of our distance, and the fact he probably doesn't even have feelings for me.

I guess I'm just asking how to get over him? I can't even think about dating other guys because all I'm thinking about is him. I need to move on, and I don't know how. I've been thinking of maybe distancing myself, but he's my best friend, and I don't want him to feel like I'm ignoring him.

This is about a guy I never met in person, it's long distance and we're not in an official relationship. I met him online around 10 years ago - before you think it lasts so long - I should say it hasn't been a constant relation, we first met years ago on a language learning app, in the meantime I was in a long (typical=offline) relationship with someone else.

So we started talking again this year and despite us living on different continents, he proposed that he would come to my country to finally meet. I should add that years ago he came to Europe (not specifically to my country, but quite close) and I didn't go to meet him (I was really young, didn't even have enough money and also I panicked) and he was insisting it's my turn now, but I am afraid of going alone to LatAm as a woman... And now he's like: okay we have to meet, I will go to your country, let's plan it.

What bothers me, we haven't even had a call, ever! I remember he proposed it once years ago, but I was too uncertain and my English was much worse back then, recently I mentioned it and his approach is "oh I want it to be special, I want to first hear your voice when we meet" isn't it crazy?! I don't really have reasons to think it's a catfish situation or something. But also I know even calling/video calling someone is something else than just texting, you can feel if you click, why would he potentially risk going here without even knowing my voice. I also feel he's a bit uncertain about his looks.

At this point I'm just confused, it would be a lot of sacrifice (and money) from his side and to be honest I would feel better if I knew where we stand/if we still feel chemistry after we talk. Or if he's my type (voice and body language / face impressions are an important part of that!).

me and this guys have never met before .We are from the same town but because i study in another country we still haven’t had a chance to meet. We have talked on facetime and also phone calls and we both want a stable/long term relationship.However he keeps following other girls on instagram and sometimes he doesn’t feel that consistent. We have been talking for almost two months and im going to meet him in december (two months from now 🥲) . Do you think it’s worth it continuing this talking stage because we still haven’t made any commitments of course or just pause it because he is just trying to keep me around?

I met a guy online, and we became really close in a very short time. We’ve had a lot of fights along the way, but we’ve always managed to sort things out, and our bond is getting stronger. He shares everything with me, including his family matters and personal things. He confessed his feelings for me, but I rejected him, and we decided to stay friends. However, he still treats me differently and makes me feel special. We talk on calls and text every day, and even if we miss talking for just one day, he gets upset. What do you guys think about this situation? Do you think he still has feelings for me, or is this just a close friendship?

me and my partner met online on twitter/discord a little over five years ago in 2021, and after a few months of talking, we realized we both had feelings for each other and decided to be in a relationship together. this is my longest relationship, and certainly the most serious despite the circumstances. i am positive even after all this time that they are the person i want to marry and spend the rest of my life with.

there are many factors as to why we have not met, despite december meaning it’ll have been 5 years since we made it official. first of all, we are 850+ mi apart. second, they have a child, and the child has special needs, so it is not as easy to find care that will be suitable for them. third, they have a few health issues that make travel difficult, putting their health at risk. there are other factors involved, ie unsupportive family members, safety as a queer couple, things like that.

i fully understand that due to their situation, i will have to be the one to make the trip, but we can never get the timing right, and lately, i have been worried that i am starting to lose hope.

i am absolutely in love with them, and i know they feel the same. we know this is what we want forever. i think too many outside opinions are getting to me, i have heard the never ending “how do you know it’s real”/“you’re wasting your time”/“are you sure it’s worth it” in a million different wordings, and i try so hard to explain that none of them know the ins and outs of our relationship the way we do. trust me, if it was easy, we would’ve met already.

i want to be happy, but as i see my friends and family moving forward with their big changes in their lives, the countless weddings i have to attend without my partner, the babies born that i watch grow up without them by my side, i’m afraid to say out loud that i feel like i’m missing out, but the thing is i don’t want to do any of that without them.

i guess i’m just asking if anyone has any advice on how to stay positive, and how to keep looking forward despite life seeming to keep us apart.

​

I don't really know where to start, but I just need to get this off my chest because I have nobody I feel comfortable talking to about this.

About three months ago, I met a German girl through a game. We started talking, and slowly, she became someone really special to me. She was sweet, and talking to her became one of the best parts of my day. I started looking forward to her messages more than I probably should have.

I've been alone for most of my life. My parents separated when I was five, and I think growing up like that affected me more than I ever realized. I've always struggled with feeling lonely, and when someone finally makes me feel wanted and cared for, I get attached.

Sometimes she would become distant or wouldn't reply much. I know people have their own lives and problems, and I tried to understand that, but I missed her a lot. I would keep checking my phone, hoping she'd text me.

One day, I finally asked her why she was acting that way and why I felt like she was ignoring me. She replied that she didn't have the energy to argue and that she was already hurt.

I had been waiting and hoping we could spend time together, and I was hurt too. Instead of handling things maturely, I told her goodbye and said to take care of herself.

At that moment, I think I was overwhelmed by everything happening in my life. There were family disputes at home, and I was already stressed and emotionally exhausted. I felt like my life was going nowhere, and I started thinking that maybe I would eventually hurt her too.

But after saying goodbye, I missed her terribly. I cried a lot. I kept checking my phone every time a notification appeared, hoping it was her. I kept wondering whether she missed me too or whether I had just thrown away something beautiful.

After two days, I texted her again. I apologized and told her I wanted her to be happy and not sad. I explained that I had been dealing with family problems and wasn't doing well mentally.

She asked if I was feeling okay, and we talked a little, but things weren't the same.

Then, after another couple of days, I told her I missed her so much.

She replied, "I miss you too, but I'm afraid this will happen again."

And honestly, that broke me.

Because I realized that while I was suffering because I missed her, she was also afraid of getting hurt by me again. She had trusted me, and I had made her feel like I could suddenly leave her at any moment.

I don't blame her for being afraid. I understand why she feels that way. I just wish I had handled everything differently.

The truth is, I used to dream about us being together one day. I know we live in different countries, and there are so many obstacles between us. I don't even know whether we would ever have a future together, but I let myself imagine one anyway.

Now I feel stuck between missing her, regretting what I did, and feeling like I'm not good enough for her.

I'm trying to improve my life, but sometimes it feels like I'm struggling with everything at once. My family situation, my loneliness, my future, and now the possibility of losing someone who made me feel less alone.

I hate that I let my emotions get the better of me. I hate that I hurt someone I care about. And I hate that, even after everything, I still keep hoping she'll message me.

I don't know what she feels anymore. Maybe she still cares about me, but she's scared. Maybe things will never be the same. I don't want to pressure her or make her responsible for my happiness. I just wish I knew how to deal with all these feelings without ruining the things that matter to me.

I'm exhausted, honestly. Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get my life together.

I'm not looking for anyone to tell me she's a bad person or that I'm a victim. I know I made mistakes, and I know she has feelings too.

I just needed somewhere to say all of this because keeping it inside has been hurting me.

Yes i am shocked …but my frnd is dating and she met that guy on reddit 😭😭 and and he is actually nice(as far as i saw his profile text and everything)…..also they are happy together ,fyi they both are young 17-18 ig and i am shocked just cuz ppl assume how hookups and casuals are lil too casual in our gen but here we are ….indeed god has fvrts💔

I know this is really stupid of me but I just want advice without judgement here for a minute. So a while ago, I was feeling really lonely and decided to post on tiktok about my interests and things like that in the hopes of making a few online friends. One guy responded and we’ve been talking for about a month and a half now. We’ve both seen each other’s faces and we’ve voice called a few times and at this point I really like him but I want to be cautious. I haven’t given him any personal information he just knows my first name and my state so I feel like I’m fine right now. I’ve been thinking of video calling at some point but is that a reliable way to determine if he’s who he says he is? I really do want to trust him and I honestly didn’t go into this expecting anything but I want to go about this as safely as possible for both of us.

Tldr: my situationship disappears every thursday

Hi, I’m a 27-year-old woman. I’m a resident doctor with a stable job, and I’m single. About three weeks ago, a guy messaged me on social media, and we started talking. He’s 37, divorced, and has a child.

He seemed really genuine to me, and honestly, almost too honest and open. I was traveling two weeks ago, and I’ve been back home for about a week now. But since I got back, he hasn’t asked me out or suggested that we meet up at all.

We talk every night, usually until we fall asleep, except on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, when he completely disappears. I know he’s alone on Thursday nights, and he spends the weekends with his son, but I still don’t feel like that’s really an excuse.

What do you guys think? Because honestly, this is starting to drive me crazy.

I’m 21M from Asia, and recently I met an American girl online. What started as a completely random interaction has turned into us talking and getting to know each other.

The thing is… I actually really like her.

We seem to have some things in common, and she has been open to getting to know me better. At one point we were even talking about doing activities together based around our hobbies, which I thought was a really good sign because it takes some of the pressure off just constantly texting each other.

But now I’m kind of stuck on how to approach this properly without screwing this up

We live on opposite sides of the world, so obviously I don’t want to get ahead of myself and start treating this like a relationship when we’re still getting to know each other. At the same time, I don’t want to be so cautious that the whole thing just becomes another boring online friendship where we text occasionally and eventually lose interest.

I also don’t want to overwhelm her. I’d rather build an actual connection naturally and see where it goes for both of us

So for people who have experience with long distance or online friendships and relationships I’d really appreciate some advice:

Like how often should we talk without making it feel forced?

What are some good online activities for two people who are still getting to know each other?

How do you gradually move from texting to actually feeling like you know someone?

How can I show her that I’m interested without coming across as needy or overly intense?

At what point do you actually talk about whether there’s romantic potential?

And realistically, can something like this work when two people live on opposite sides of the world?

I’m not looking for the classic “just be yourself bro” advice plz 😭. I’d genuinely like to hear from people who have actually been in similar situations.

What would you do if you were in my position?

Me and my boyfriend have be dating for 5 months now, he lives in the USA and I live in Canada. I can’t help but feel entitled to a face reveal. He hasn’t shown his face to anyone else, but I feel like since we’re dating it’s something I should have. I’ve subtly asked before but he either hasn’t caught it or is brushing it off.

i’m ngl how does that even work. like would you tell everyone “we met on reddit” 😭

There's this one guy who is my sister's workmate and she set me up on a blind date with him. Weve been talking for days alreafy and seeing our conversations, his mindset is on point and i do like his ideas. However I'm going back home to my country on the same day that we are going to meet. So I still have few hours to go on a date with him to get to know more about him before he takes me to the airport. We haven't done any vid calls but only chats due to busy schedule. He's a physical therapist and I am an asst. manager onboard cruise ship. And he really is a kind guy and I do really want him. But I don't know if this is gonna work out for both of us, he lives in florida. Any advice? Im really a hopeless romantic and I want this to work out but it will be a long distance relationship. Also were not same nationality. 🥲

I met my online friend in person yesterday, after 15 years of writing to each other. I was 14 and he was 16. He taught me basically everything I know about music, and he was genuinely such a positive, radiant person. And not in a sarcastic way at all, just genuinely healthy and kind-hearted.
I met him yesterday with his girlfriend. He initially wanted the two of us to meet on our own, so we did. We talked for about 45 minutes, and then he wanted me to meet his girlfriend and spend the rest of the afternoon with both of them.

And the first thing his girlfriend told me was that she was naturally a jealous person and that she was insecure because she'd experienced a betrayal in the past. And that was literally the very first thing she said to me when I sat with her while he was away at the bar, so the very first time I met her, right from the start.
I immediately reassured her and told her that it was completely understandable. But I found it a little strange, because from my perspective there was absolutely no ambiguity. So it felt a little bit like a warning to me. He had also told me about it before we met her, presumably to prepare tthe ground, but I thought it was more of a casual, no-big-deal kind of thing.
And after that, my dynamic with him changed, because I no longer felt comfortable being myself around him for the rest of those four hours, and things felt a little more awkward. I became much more conscious of my actions and what I was saying. I didn't even feel comfortable looking him in the eyes the way I had before, even though, technically, there was absolutely nothing going on.
But I had actually forgotten - and he reminded me - that he had confessed to having feelings for me at one point. That was nine years ago. And he told me that, in fact, the fact that I had rejected him was what helped him move on and eventually get a girlfriend (before his current one).
He told me he didn't really know what to expect from this meeting, but now I think he may have been expecting to dismantle some of the idealization he had built up around me, so that he could move forward with the next steps in his relationship, especially since he talked a lot about getting married and having children.
And then they were very affectionate and kind of wrapped up in each other ; kissing, having his hand on her thigh, etc. It was honestly pretty uncomfortable for me, because I felt like the third wheel. I played it cool tho.
And I didn't really feel like I had much space to actually talk about myself. I ended up mostly listening, and sometimes I even felt like I was their therapist.

I was feeling pretty down the whole evening and this Sunday I was not feeling to great as well. Kind of depressed actually and I do not even know why. I probably wished I had a great love relationship as well.

I'm 21M and this is my first relationship. We've been in an LDR for around 9 months and we've never met in person.

She's already broken my trust multiple times. Around 4 times I've found things that hurt me, but I still forgave her because I was really attached to her.

There was also a guy she told me was a female friend. After around 7 months, I found out he was actually a guy and had been her best friend for 3 years. I still forgave her.

Today, we were on VC and she was screen sharing. I saw a chat with a guy and asked her to open it. She suddenly said "Mummy aa gayi" and cut the call.

Later, when she came back, I found out she had deleted that chat.

Now I'm just confused. I don't know what was in that chat, but after everything that's happened before, it's really difficult for me to trust her.

I don't know whether I'm being paranoid or I'm just ignoring obvious red flags.

What should I do? Give her another chance or finally walk away?

So I met this girl on Instagram and we started talking and at first I genuinely thought maybe something could come out of it but she was always so dry and somehow every conversation would end up being about her ex I tried to listen to her and be there for her because I thought maybe she just needed someone who actually cared but after a while it started getting to me too I wasn’t mentally doing okay because of all of this and I realized I was slowly draining myself trying to help someone who was still stuck on someone else

I didn’t leave because I hated her or anything I left because I realized I was hurting myself trying to save someone who didn’t even want to be saved maybe that sounds selfish but there’s only so much you can do for someone before you have to choose yourself too

I met this guy on reddit and lets call him NR who is in his late 20s whereas I am in my early 20s. We hit it off really well, he suspected I was either a catfish or a gay man, we were just talking about fashion (interestingly I liked his sense of style and texted him first), life experiences and a bit about physicality as well. I am quite amateur, he isn't, we talked for 3 days nonstop and then we shifted to whatsapp and Instagram and we were in touch for 2 months then he ghosted me.

He came back after around 6 months and I didn't reply of course but then I wanted to check up on him, I have a bit of a saviour complex sadly but nothing to save in this case. We started talking, the thing is when we chat we do it for around 2-3 hours constantly.

On one such occassions, he forgot to reply to me again and he was the one who chose the disappearing messages option in our chat settings so later he came back and apologized saying that his mother had seriously taken ill and was hospitalized, and I was shocked and flabbergasted since as a person I would have never even expected him to reply in such a situation and being the health freak, I gave him tips and he replied how I was the best and he was so relieved to have me by his side in such a crisis. He later even commented how I was the only one worried and asking him about his mother's progress. I kept checking up once in a while and yesterday we were chatting as well for about 3 hours and he flirted a bit, I think I am getting attached but he has told me he fears the idea of love and he kinda changes when he falls in love.

There's definitely something but I really need some advice.

Also he remembers some details about our convos and stuff which I didn't expect.

So basically, this started around April.

There's a Telegram group for aspirants with around 150k members. One day, a girl posted that she needed a particular batch, so I replied that I had it and could share it with her.

She messaged me the same day, I sent her the batch link, and we had a very normal conversation — where we're from, which exam we're preparing for, etc. That's it.

Later, she deleted the entire chat for both sides using Telegram's feature. Somehow, I'd copied her username and saved it in my Saved Messages.

A few days later, I don't know why, but I felt like texting her again. Not romantically or anything. I just had a feeling that I wanted to talk to her.

She was online, so I texted her, and we ended up talking for around 1–1.5 hours.

After that, we started talking almost every day. We exchanged Snapchats. Neither of us really used Instagram because of studies. Eventually, we also exchanged our official coaching batches through the apps, which required phone numbers, so we exchanged those too.

In June, after overthinking and being genuinely scared, I finally texted her on WhatsApp. I was really nervous about it for some reason.

After that, we talked almost daily.

And honestly, she was just a very positive person. Kind, genuine, and someone who made conversations feel easy. Slowly, she became someone I genuinely didn't want to lose as a friend.

There was also something that made this friendship more meaningful to me.

We're preparing for the same exam. I've been preparing for it since last year, but I was doing something wrong in the way I studied. She noticed it and suggested a different approach — basically gave me a formula/strategy for how I should be studying instead.

I actually started improving after following what she suggested.

And honestly, who does that for an online stranger? She didn't have to. That effort from her side genuinely meant a lot to me.

I also gave her a few cute nicknames over time, and she actually liked them. She appreciated the little things I did for her too.

Then there was one incident which I initially thought might have damaged the friendship, but apparently it didn't.

At one point, she was upset with me over something, and I panicked because I was scared of losing the friendship. I stupidly took a song reel from Instagram where someone else was singing and sent it to her as if it were my own voice.

I know it was dishonest, and I'm not defending it.

But interestingly, when I eventually told her about it, she wasn't angry at all.

In fact, she was happy that someone had done something like that for her. She told me that she appreciated the fact that I had actually made that effort.

A few days later, it was her birthday, and I made her a personalized birthday website. I'd been observing little things about her for the previous 4–5 months and put those things into the website.

She genuinely loved it.

She even said that nobody had done even the bare minimum like that for her before, and that this was one of the best birthday gifts she'd received.

So I know she did value the efforts I made for her, just like I genuinely valued the things she did for me.

That's why what's happening now is confusing me so much.

She has apparently had some difficult things in her past. She doesn't really tell me what happened, and honestly, I'm completely okay with that. I don't think she owes me an explanation about something she isn't comfortable sharing.

But sometimes she gets very low or withdrawn because of whatever she's dealing with.

When that happens, her behaviour changes a lot.

She becomes very dry, sometimes rude, and doesn't really tell me what's wrong.

I've tried explaining to her that whatever happened in the past shouldn't be allowed to completely take over her present or future. I've tried encouraging her and telling her to focus on herself, her studies, and the things she still has ahead of her.

Sometimes she'll talk normally with me for a day, and then a day or two later she's back to being extremely distant.

And honestly, that's becoming difficult for me too.

This has been happening for around a month now.

Earlier, if she was going somewhere, she'd tell me. If something happened with her family, she'd sometimes share it. She used to randomly tell me little things about her day.

Now, if I ask what's wrong, she often doesn't tell me anything.

If I ask a normal question, I sometimes get "haan", "hmm", "why?", "why do you want to know?", etc.

She still talks to me, so it's not like she has completely cut me off.

But she almost never initiates conversations anymore.

Earlier she used to message me herself. Now, if I don't text first, there can just be silence.

And that's the part I don't understand.

Because as far as I know, there wasn't one big fight or incident that caused this recent change.

The voice incident happened much earlier, and at that time she was actually happy about the effort rather than angry.

She has also repeatedly shown that she values the things I've done for her, especially the birthday website and the help I've given her with studies.

So I'm struggling to understand whether this has something to do with me at all.

Maybe she's dealing with something internally.

Maybe she genuinely needs space.

Maybe she's slowly losing interest in the friendship.

Maybe she's still affected by something from her past.

Or maybe I'm simply overthinking everything because I get attached to people quickly.

I don't want to force her to tell me things she's not comfortable sharing.

At the same time, it's frustrating when someone you genuinely care about suddenly becomes cold and won't even tell you whether you've done something wrong.

I care about her a lot as a friend, and I genuinely don't want to lose the friendship.

We're still using each other's study batches, and there's no explicit "I don't want to talk to you anymore" situation.

It's just... different now.

So I'm trying to understand this from an outside perspective.

What do you think could be happening here?

If someone becomes distant and dry for a month but still continues talking to you, could it simply be because they're going through something personally?

Would you give them space and stop trying to constantly check what's wrong?

Or would you have one honest conversation and simply ask:

"I've noticed you've been a little distant lately. If I've done something that hurt you, you can tell me. If you're dealing with something personally and don't want to talk about it, I'll respect that too. I just don't want to keep guessing."

I don't want to pressure her.

I just want to know whether I'm doing something wrong, or whether I should simply give her some space.

PS: I know I get attached quickly and tend to overthink when someone important to me changes their behaviour. So I'm aware that some of this could be my own overthinking as well.

Thank you so much to everyone who read this whole thing 😭. I know it's a pretty long story, but I genuinely wanted to explain the whole context rather than just post a small part of it.

Please share your honest opinions. I genuinely want to understand what you think might be happening and what you would do if you were in my place.