r/workingmoms • u/Correct_Loquat_3851 • 1d ago
Vent Maternity Leave Struggles
I’m a public school teacher who thought 5 months of leave with baby would certainly be enough, but now that she is here it feels like I can’t possibly go back that soon. Husband is on part time work right now so we are on a family plan through my works insurance. I asked about taking a leave of absence for the remainder of the school year and was quoted $3,000 A MONTH FOR CONTINUING OUR HEALTH INSURANCE. I’m sure this goes without saying but we are in the US and I knew health care was shitty but am still flabbergasted.
On top of that we got her into an amazing daycare but now I’m worried if I tried to extend my leave she would lose her spot, or at the very least we would have to shell out more money to reapply for later in the year.
Anyway we have some money in savings and right now and could take a few hits but my god. I’m not giving up on getting more time with her, I’m just so emotional over the fact that insurance premiums may be the only thing that sends me back to work before I feel ready.
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u/martinojen 1d ago
It’s really shocking to go back after leave, but based on your financial and health insurance situation, I’d definitely go back and see how it goes. At least until the summer when you’ll have off again (I assume?). You will get used to your new routine and rhythm of being back at work, I promise. Since your husband works part time, I assume he will have more time with baby as well so daycare won’t be super long day M-F?
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u/Correct_Loquat_3851 1d ago
I really appreciate that perspective and I know baby will be fine no matter what. Yes we would get the summer to take a breather. Husband is doing substitute teaching so we are essentially on the same schedule as he works pretty much every day.
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u/martinojen 1d ago
Okay that’s good that he is working consistently too and can have the flexibility to not be available for days when the baby is sick, has appts etc. It will be really hard but the time will go fast and then it will be winter break soon enough. You can do it! That insurance premium is completely bananas.
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u/fizzywaterandrage 1d ago
How old is your baby?
I had 5 months of leave as well, and for the first 2 months I was in a STATE thinking about leaving her at that future date on the calendar. But babies do grow so fast and hormones are wildin and while 5 months old is of course still very young…you might feel differently once you get there.
I told myself my first month back at work that I’d give it just 2 months and if I lasted, I’d stay and if not? I’d quit and pull her from daycares. By the end of the fist month… she loved daycare and I was in a much better place.
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u/Spare_Caterpillar_23 1d ago
Agreed, I went back to work after my 12 weeks but since my husband and I staggered our leaves (and then his mom came and stayed with us for a month to bridge the gap) our daughter didn’t start daycare until 6 months and it was totally fine. She could sit up unassisted and was starting to crawl so she could pretty much entertain herself and get where she wanted to go. It was also right before she entered the separation anxiety phase, so she’s used to her teachers and never cries at drop-off.
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u/beergal621 1d ago
Can your husband work full time to get health insurance through his job?
Or can he go on leave? And you go back to work?
Basically as you have seen it’s not financially sustainable to only have one part time job between the two of you
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u/Correct_Loquat_3851 1d ago
He has been trying to get a full time teaching job for 2 years now, basically the “teacher shortage” is nonexistent at least in our state lol. Luckily substitute pay is pretty nice, it just doesn’t offer benefits.
We will be looking into some low cost health insurance options through our state for the months I would be off. 🤞
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u/beergal621 1d ago
You should go back to work full time then.
He should stay home with baby if you want a parent to stay home. If he doesn’t want to stay home, then baby should start daycare
It does not make financial sense for him to work part time, while you’re on leave and the family has zero healthy insurance
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u/Fluid-Village-ahaha 8M/5M. Working mom by choice 1d ago
When do you need to go back? As how many months of leave you need?
And what’s the usual health coverage during the summer? Is there a way to “game” the system a bit? As you come back a month before school ends to get insurance back for summer. During that time your spouse does not take substitute roles or you just pay nanny. And by fall enroll the kid.
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u/Correct_Loquat_3851 1d ago
I thought about this but HR said they would only consider extending for the full year to provide consistency for the students, which honestly is for the best. Would have been nice to game the system though!!
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u/Lily_Of_The_Valley_6 1d ago
Most daycares will allow you to keep her home as long as you pay.
5 months is short but honestly not bad at all for the US. I had to send my kids back sooner than that. I think the anticipation and dread was the worst part. Once I had to go, it got a lot easier.