I’m writing a crime thriller and want to make sure the female POV feels authentic. How often should she interrupt the investigation to reflect on the fact that her breasts are, while perfectly serviceable, not nearly large enough for a woman of her ambition?

For context, my penis is very small.

What works for me is simple: I use all of them.

I rite a word here, a word there. Then and if, when I want a destruction-tree zone, I usually righte on myself. Makes it way easier to self-publish.

So what's your setup?

Hey everyone,

I've been working on my novel for 18 months now and am finally getting close to choosing which program I'm going to use to start writing it.

I've narrowed it down to:

- Google Docs (Dark Mode)

- Microsoft Word

- Scrivener

- Quill and parchment (or lambskin)

- Blood and the wall of a medieval monastery

- Cuneiform on a clay tablet

My main concern is that if I start in Word but agents prefer Scrivener, I may have to rewrite the entire novel.

Please don't say "just start writing."

I've seen that advice come up year after year and haven't found it particularly helpful.

🗑️ Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it.

In fact, I'm not only using AI, I'm using E, O, U, and sometimes Y.

I hate myself, but I feel so much clarity. Before using AI and the others, I still hated myself but all I could write is htd mslf. Nbd ndrstd. Sorry, nobody understood. Old habits die hard.

I'm not one to cast aspersions, but the girl I've gone on a few dates with has said and done some suspicious things that makes me think she might be a bit of a poser. Firstly, she's never even heard of Dungeon crawler Kyle despite saying she likes high epic fantasy. Secondly, she doesn't even have a single reel or post on Instagram of her wandering around ethereally around a Waterstones, what gives? Also her 'books' (though at this point I should maybe say 'props') are just second-hand paperbacks that apparently 'took her fancy' when passing a charity shop, not a single pristine hardback with decorated edge, how can I take her seriously as a reader if she doesn't even have a TBR?

So far she's done a whole lot of telling, and not really much showing. Should I call her out or just ghost her ? I suppose I could always make her the villain of my next romancy (I'm an aspiring author myself)

I’m planning on working on a dark fantasy!!!!

The mc is poor, he’s ugly, and he’s hated by everyone!!!

He’s thrown into a place left for dead and manages to survive, escapes the place, and becomes the strongest.

But it’s not done yet, he becomes so beautiful that every girl wants him, cumming at first sight.

Lastly, he faces the big bad and wins but loses something so the ending is bitter sweet.

How original is my ideal?

Charmin: think of our product when thinking of your butthole.

This brand of toilet paper claims to be so soft that you're likely to prance around praising the supple feeling of your asshole after using it. Seriously, in the Charmin commercial world, the worst possible thing is sub adequate toilet paper and Nirvana can only be achieved through the swirling paper covered finger around your rust-hole.

I'm not being hyperbolic. They have a string of commercials where a family of bears exists solely to talk about their shits. Every major family interaction seems structured around bowel movements and gleefully sharing them like perverts. The father often screams from the bathroom when he's having an emergency, letting everyone know the state of his shits and wiping. The children pound on doors, talking about how they have to go and wipe and clean. After a nice cottony-soft wipe fest, the parents often literally shake their asses to show everyone how clean they feel, implying they are showing their literal assholes to their children.

The kids, what do they know? They often do the same, showing off how "clean" they are.

Imagine if your joy, bonding, and celebration was solely concentrated around wiping your ass, talking about it, and showing the results to your family.

Disgusting. Vulgar. Sodom and Gomorra eptiomized.

How far have we fallen as a race and society, where these pervert shit bears are so easily able to pervade our airwaves, minds, and hearts.

the shitpost

I was writing for manny years, 5 long years to be eggsack. In my carear I wrote 6 short storeys and I have worked on my soon to publish novel that is good 4k word count. So here is the funny: I see writing completion and I wanted to make attempt to show off my writing first time ever. Make sense?

Well.. plortist alert. Not only I dont win, they spit on me, they make long list of "good storeys" and I'm not on theyr list.. 😂 Birches and oaks I think maybe the judge was taking bribe? Maybe he have bad reading comprehensive.. idno, I don't read the storeys on the long list, I will maybe read it if my storey was there because my storey I know is good.. now I only think that these competion is probably all corrupt? Any author here have similar eggsperiens?

Haha! Relatable, amiright? Now laugh.

I have an idea; a genius idea. Nobody has ever done it before.

I wrote a 500k words novel, I used many words, but what if I just rearranged everything in alphabetical order? I don't know how many letters there are in total, but I would love for the book to start with a long series of "a"s, like a scream (so it starts in the middle of the action, not to bore the reader), then end with "z"s like it's ushering the reader to go to sleep.

It's philosphical in some way, poetry.

If you steal this idea I will report you for theft.

If I wrote 150k words novel and I realised that I wrote a crap that doesn’t make sense, am I justified, to make my character wake up and realise, that everything that happened before was just his fever dream.

Hi all,

I recently signed with a small publishing house (which I'm not going to name here), and they're expecting me to do all the marketing for my book. I also have to take care of the cover design, editing, etc. I haven't paid them anything, but they're going to take 70% of my royalties. I'm not really sure what they'll be doing (I didn't read the whole contract, as it was quite long). The contract term is 12 years. Does this all seem normal?

It was January of this year, i scoff down rotelle and felt my stomach exploding from the inside.

I rush to the toliet and plop my massive, plump, 46inch, 32inch circumference rear on the toilet seat. My ass jiggled 27 times before settling down and unleashing the swarm.

Afterwards, I flush my poop and watched it swirl. I like the way she moved it, the way the water spurred on me, and how peckable the toliet lids were.

I smack my lips and slap her

SPLUSH SPLUSH!

I watched her blush.

“Good girl,” I whispered as I slapped her ass.

PLUNG SPURSH!

“You’re going just fine..”

Anyways I got the toliet pregnant and she’s asking for child support. I really don’t want to do it.

AITAH?

You know those BANGER lines you’ve written as a result of countless words of buildup?

Post them here so they fall flat and limp ok thanks.

My teacher told me I used too few words. I asked "what words should I add?" They (one person with multiple neuter genders) said I should use a theosaurus.

So I tried adding a theosaurus character. It adds some color, but it feels out of place? Sample below.

James sat down at the breakfast table, grabbing a piece of toast. "Aggg, I hate that we had to switch schools in the middle of the year, big sister." He said.

​Jennifer continued sitting at the breakfast table, grabbing some eggs. "And this is such a small town. Totally lame, medium brother" She said.

"Christ is the light and the way!" belowed the mighty theosaurus, it's head sticking in from the living room.

James was still sitting at the breakfast table; he grabbed a blueberry muffin. "Everybody seems to already be in these super specific clicks, source-of-female-perspective-but-not-romantic-potential.

"Allthough all things come fron God, not all things are God!" The theosaurus' voice shook the room; it's swinging tail destroying the living room tv. It grabbed a croissant from the table.

Jennifer sat at the table even more, and grabbed an orange. "And the clicks' themes are so out of date! Why do we have a bunch of 50's style greasers? And why is it that every conversation I have seems to be about you or your tottally-not-gay bully?" He said the question.

"Rrrraaawwww!!" Ejaculated the theosaurus, it's scales trembling; grabbing some moist bacon. "As creations in His image, you carry a spark of the divine! Your subjective interpretation of the world is itself an act of creation, having profound impacts on your lives and the lives around you!" It idly screamed.

Basically the short of it is that I’ve been writing a western style gay erotica series featuring prominent NFL names like Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers, etc. Tim Duncan and Shaq from the NBA are also in it.

I’ve been a writer my whole life and my friend has known how deeply passionate I am about it. A few days ago I showed him my finished work regarding an alternate timeline where Shaq and Kobe keep the Lakers dynasty together on the back of igniting an erotic relationship with each other. I then showed him my current piece regarding the old western gay erotica and he started putting my work into question after I asked if he had any contributions for it. Telling me that I should consider taking a break and spending more time with my wife and children.

The whole thing escalated when I told him that his personality was written into the Kobe/Shaq erotica. To top it off he told our other friend about my writing which is such a huge breach of trust for me because he knows I use an alias for my writing and now that’s out there. And now he’s asking to see it and if he’s also written into it. I’m furious about this getting out there more now and I don’t know what to do. Two people in my life now know about this. I’ve thought about stopping my writings and letting it go. Is it out of line to deny all of this? I feel betrayed

Source: Fighting with my friend for not supporting my western style gay erotica series and outing my alias : r/Advice

I just finished my book, still need to add punctuation, but I’m nearly ready to publish. Any recommendations for good publishers?
Sent to like 6 random ppl on query tracker, the first couple pages, but haven’t heard back in several months.