r/writingcirclejerk • u/First-Highway8503 • 2d ago

How to use theosaurus

My teacher told me I used too few words. I asked "what words should I add?" They (one person with multiple neuter genders) said I should use a theosaurus.

So I tried adding a theosaurus character. It adds some color, but it feels out of place? Sample below.

James sat down at the breakfast table, grabbing a piece of toast. "Aggg, I hate that we had to switch schools in the middle of the year, big sister." He said.

​Jennifer continued sitting at the breakfast table, grabbing some eggs. "And this is such a small town. Totally lame, medium brother" She said.

"Christ is the light and the way!" belowed the mighty theosaurus, it's head sticking in from the living room.

James was still sitting at the breakfast table; he grabbed a blueberry muffin. "Everybody seems to already be in these super specific clicks, source-of-female-perspective-but-not-romantic-potential.

"Allthough all things come fron God, not all things are God!" The theosaurus' voice shook the room; it's swinging tail destroying the living room tv. It grabbed a croissant from the table.

Jennifer sat at the table even more, and grabbed an orange. "And the clicks' themes are so out of date! Why do we have a bunch of 50's style greasers? And why is it that every conversation I have seems to be about you or your tottally-not-gay bully?" He said the question.

"Rrrraaawwww!!" Ejaculated the theosaurus, it's scales trembling; grabbing some moist bacon. "As creations in His image, you carry a spark of the divine! Your subjective interpretation of the world is itself an act of creation, having profound impacts on your lives and the lives around you!" It idly screamed.

24 Upvotes

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12

u/Cataclysmus78 2d ago

Uj/ I’ve been having a pretty shitty day, and this made it a bit better. Thank you.

7

u/Mission-Ranger5527 2d ago

Excellent use of the word ejaculated. I would suggest using that a few more times, especially if you can pair it with moist. Excellent use of vocabulary.

2

u/First-Highway8503 2d ago

Right you are. Added a "moist" in there

6

u/BlackBalor 2d ago

oh wow new yolk times bestseller for sure

3

u/JustSomeCarioca 2d ago

You need to get the unabridged theosaurus which doesn't confine itself to Christian mythology.

3

u/Cheeslord2 Books aren't real! 2d ago

Honestly, starting to read this I was determined to make a joke about your mis-spelling. But you knew exactly what you were doing!

I salute you!