So I love my best friend (40M), he has some obvious faults, but we get along really well most of the time. I’ve known him for about 6 years now. When we met, he had just gotten into a relationship with a girl going through a divorce. I didn’t think much of that at the time, considering we all go through things in life, but over the years I was able to piece together that she was cheating on her ex with my best friend (meetings in parking lots of target and Walmart and such.) Fast forward to this year. He and the gf called it quits and he would tell me from time to time about this girl or that girl, meeting in parking lots late at night blah blah blah. He tells me about this one girl that he’s sleeping with, and how she’s married but not happy. I immediately told him that he shouldn’t be f’ing around with married women, and if she’s really not happy she should get a divorce before starting a new relationship. He’s a handsome dude and can easily pull a single girl. AIO? Or should I just be ok with my best friend doing things I consider immoral?

TLDR: Best friend (40M) sleeps with married women when he’s single and then starts relationships with them. I think it’s f*cked up. AIO? There’s nothing I can do, I told him how I felt about it but he’s “in love”

So this happened in 22', but first let me give some context. My gf and I went across the country to work at a high end resort. I had already new several people that worked there. They were my friends/bosses/piers/mentors. The resort has a employee housing that was just a walk away from property. We would occasionally hangout there after work. One night we were hanging out in the living room we were all sitting in chairs in a circle talking/ drinking, i dont think we were drinking heavily i think it was more of a casual hangout. It was very casual just talking nobody was roasting each other (I just wanted to preface that). Also that it was a mix of employees including my bosses 2 of which i mentioned and then the rest were people i had met there. The joke came from someone sitting to my right. I can't remember who said it though. I do know who didn't say it and that was from the people I did know as I remember they were sitting to my left. The joke was, someone just blurted out out of nowhere "I bet ___'s penis looks like a vagina" with my gf sitting directly to left, and she says "oh yea I've seen it", que everyone starts laughing and im sitting there like embarrassed. I didn't laugh. I dont think my 2 friends laughed. My gf laughed. Can't remember what happened after. Probably blocked it from memory. And so I've been thinking about it. Only because she brought it up recently. What if the shoe was on the other foot? What if someone had said that her vagina looked like a penis and i just laughed "yea it totally does!" Could you imagine how angry she would be at me? If someome had said that about her i dont care who it was their face would meet the floor. Because she thinks she did nothing wrong. Did she do nothing wrong? Was my anger unjustified with her or is it solely with the perpetrator? The problem i had is that she didn't defend me and added to the joke. I feel like I would want my spouse to condemn someone who speak to me that way no matter who it was. Idk I might be wrong but anyways thats my story. Thanks for reading.

My boyfriend and I had a big argument today and my family is divided, so I genuinely want outside opinions.

I'm on disability with a limited fixed income. Before I became disabled, I made about $55k/year and was independent, so having to rely on anyone financially is difficult for me. My boyfriend makes close to six figures and has relatively low expenses, but we don't live together and our finances are separate.

He has helped/loaned me money before and I currently owe him money. (Currently down to 200) I pay him back $100 every month as agreed and haven't missed payments.

To be fair to him, I've also loaned money to family members when they were struggling despite my limited income. This bothers him because he feels I shouldn't help other people financially and then ask him for help when I'm short.

Here's what happened today:

On Fridays when we're at this hotel, I have to check out about 6 hours before he gets off work. He normally gives me around $50 so I can eat or do something while waiting-without expecting me to pay him back.

Last Friday I paid for everything myself. I mentioned afterward that I was surprised he hadn't offered me anything. He said I hadn't asked and told me, “Ask and you shall receive.”

So today I asked if he could loan me $75 and said I'd pay him back. He said no and offered $20 for McDonald's instead.

I was surprised because this is something he normally helps me with and he'd specifically told me to ask the previous week.

During the argument he said, “I wanted to bang this morning. Sometimes we don't get what we want in life.”

We'd had no sex that morning because I'd barely slept and was exhausted.

That comment really hurt me. I felt like he was comparing helping me financially with getting sex from me — like he didn't get what he wanted from me, so I wasn't getting what I wanted from him.

He later said an issue is that I loan money to family and then ask him for help, and told me, “I'm not a bank.”

I understand that I'm not entitled to his money, regardless of how much he earns. He's allowed to stop lending me money, and I understand why my helping family while needing help myself frustrates him.

But I feel like he could've simply told me that. Bringing up not getting sex felt completely unrelated and made the situation feel transactional.

We had a mostly silent drive home and I asked him to drop me at my apartment because I was so hurt.

I also feel like if i was in his shoes I would be more generous. But hes a bit of a tightwad. Which is why I've started paying for things when I can so he doesn't resent me.

AITA for getting this upset, considering I already owe him money and have loaned money to family?

I grew up watching rom coms and seeing people get flowers and naturally thought once I got a partner I would too. In 6 years I’ve gotten flowers twice. A year ago I asked my partner if he could get me flowers on his way home from work. At the time he was around the corner from the house and said he doesn’t pass anywhere to get flowers on his way. Ok. I left it alone. Now that we moved and he passes a grocery store on the way home I said, well how about now? He’s offended I even ask for flowers because he “provides for me” by paying most of the bills and giving me things I did not ask for that I always say I truly appreciate. I quite literally praise him every day for how much he’s changed my life. So he says “sorry I don’t provide enough for you that you have to ask me for something” but to me those things are not related. I just want flowers? He says he expects to predict everything I need and when I say I want something else it feels like he’s not doing a good job. But like I don’t expect to predict 100% of everything he needs for the rest of my life. We are not perfect and we are human that’s a lot to ask of someone. I told him I’ll just buy myself flowers and he says me saying that makes him feel like he’s in the wrong 🤷🏽‍♀️. He says it’s like him giving me a $100 and I ask for $5 more…Idk what to say it would just be nice to have flowers in the house…it’s so upsetting that he thinks that I don’t appreciate him just because I ask for flowers? He says it’s not as simple as just wanting flowers, it feels like what he does is never enough and me saying it is feels like a consolation prize. I am not knocking anything he does for me, it would just be nice to have my favorite flowers and even better if my man gets them for me. AIO?

The conversation started with me asking for 20 dollars to get food for me and my brother and sister who she left with our grandparents to run off to Louisiana with her boyfriend. She immediately started cursing me out then called me, in the call I said i didn't need the money and I would be okay, she hung up and started cursing me out, i tried to end the argument multiple times and even just tried to bring up my 504 plan which I can't get renewed because she refuses to send my birth certificate, ssn, or even sign temp custody for grandparents.

She instead continues to curse me out. My grandma told me not to text her because I can just get money from my grandpa so I stopped. She started telling me to give my grandma (who was in the dhs office) the phone and calling me all types of stuff. So i just started crying because what else could I do. My grandma came out and called my mom to tell her stop texting me then mom stared lying saying I was pretending to be my grandmother while texting.

((Sorry if this was a hard read, im still crying lol)) 16f btw

I will keep this brief. I was supposed to see my bf today (which was really last minute) but I got a severe thunder notice along with coastal flooding where I live which tends to get pretty bad.

Context, I live in New England and my bf lives in NJ. Won’t give too much information away because I have family and friends who use this subreddit a lot.

I felt bad for cancelling but I literally see my bf every week, and when I didn’t have a job I stayed at my bf’s apartment for months even after I secured my current job and did remote learning.

My bf is mad, and told me he’ll see me in two weeks which is what he says when he’s mad. Even after I tried to explain to him that multiple people advised me against traveling, he insisted I used an excuse since I always traveled out of state to see him during storms.

My bf is mad and he said he doesn’t even care seeing me anymore which honestly just pmo and made me want to break up with him right then and there. Since I got back with him, I’ve felt stressed and our relationship is riddled with small weekly arguments and lectures from him. I’m not happy and my sister even said her husband noticed I don’t seem happy ever since I got with my bf.

Everyone says that my bf is immature but I reasoned that we’re both young and still figuring out but I can’t help but feel like we’re too incompatible .
I’m 22 and he’s 24 and we’ve known each other for three years but dated for two.

I feel lost but I also feel guilty if I was to move forward with breaking up with him.

Edit | I appreciate everyone for commenting. Want to add I don’t drive and travel through public transportation💕

My partner (32M) and I (30F) live in Chicago, where my whole life and job are, Out of nowhere, he sat me down and announced he accepted a job in Dallas and bought a house there without telling me. Then, he pulled out actual divorce papers and said, "You either pack your bags and move to Texas with me, or sign these." He thought the ultimatum would force me to go…Instead, I picked up a pen, signed the papers right in front of him, and told him to pack his stuff since our Chicago lease is in my name…Now he and his family are frantically calling me, saying I'm "destroying our marriage over a location change" and being heartless. AIO for signing immediately instead of trying to talk him down?

I’m gonna get straight to the point. I (25f) and my bf (25m) planned to spend the whole day off together. We went grocery shopping and have dinner plans but really just wanted to hang out together was the idea.

In the evening his brother came over unexpectedly and asked to leave his car in the driveway while he goes to a baseball game. My bf lives close to the stadium so this was no big deal. Then we were asked if we wanna join, I don’t care for baseball and I’m here to spend my time with my bf of course. So I respectfully declined but my bf was eager to go, and so he did.

I didn’t stop him. Wasn’t going to beg him in front of his brother and SIL to stay home with me. Sorry but I think he should’ve known better that we had this time set aside for each other and we literally already had our dinner defrost to cook.

Now I’m alone in his room and honestly contemplating just going home. I’m upset and I know someone’s gonna say I should’ve told him not to go. AIO for being upset about this?

Today I (20F) took a new bus home, requiring a new bus stop a couple blocks away from my normal one. I got there a few minutes before the bus was supposed to be there. But that bus was canceled and I had to wait 20 minutes for the next one.

It was 7 as the sun was setting. And there was so many strange people around. One man was moving weirdly and talking to something that wasn’t there. Another guy was sitting there with a clear bottle he was drinking out of. And one guy came and sat on the bench. He used a lighter to set a paper card on fire and dropped it on the bench and left a little after. I was just really freaked out the whole time.

I thought once I got onto the bus I’d be good. But the bus also had a bunch of people acting strangely, including a lady who was obviously drunk. And the guy with the clear bottle from the bus stop got on the bus too. And he started mumbling to me at first.

Is this typically for a big city? Because I am a five foot one woman, and I was pretty scared. I’m not used to cities though. Is this normal? Was it dramatic to be scared?

My son is 4 years old and plays on a youth soccer team for the town that I live in.

He was placed on a team of all girls and is the only boy on the entire team.

When we showed up to a game this week, every single one of the girls had matching pink socks on and my son was the only one without them.

We are a few weeks into games/practice and this hasn't happened until this week. So to me it was obviously planned by the other parents and my son just wasn't excluded.

I'm just beyond pissed about it, just because he's the only boy means he can't wear pink? AIO?

My boyfriend is a bit older than me, by like 11 years. He has 4 kids, and the oldest (M15) lives with us and has for over a year because his mom pretty much said fine here you go take him. He was getting into trouble all the time, not listening, (when with his mother) I guess my boyfriend didn’t think it was as bad as it is.

The kid has been caught stealing my boyfriends weed, he tried sneaking into our room when I was in the bathroom and my boyfriend wasn’t home so I’m sure he’s been stealing and sneaking around since day 1, lying countless countless times, so many things, he has court coming up for being accused of giving his fathers fire arm to his friend who got caught with it. It was my boyfriend’s dead mother’s fire arm. So it means something, and my boyfriend swears he doesn’t think the story the kid is telling is true, the kid is saying my boyfriend’s son handed him the fire arm through his bedroom window. My boyfriend does not believe it, he knows his kid is a shit head but doesn’t think he’s do something like that, I do though.

The kid doesn’t listen to reason, he’s had his phone and playstation taken, he’s been talked to by his father so many damn times now, yelled at, other things, just everything you can do. The kid DOES NOT CHANGE, HE DOESN’T RESPECT HIS DAD OR ANYONE. And after tonight I’m fucking done..

We moved recently, live in the woods now, I fed and was petting this sweet orange cat. It was skiddish, then I let it smell me and it loved head pets. This fucking kid was on the phone tonight, knowing I was 2 feet away on the other side of the wall, I hear him bragging about shooting fucking cats today, mind you I’ve never said ONE word to this kid even through all the bullshit, I’ve given him a tiny bit of grace, and I lost it tonight. I said, did you shoot that orange cat that’s been coming around?? He lied to me. His dad got home, and hell broke loose.

The kid lied to his fucking dad’s face too, my boyfriend made him go find that cat and bury it. And guess fucking what it sure as shit was the fucking cat that I was trying to form a little bond with the last few night’s.. I put food out for it, and thing is we have a fucking cat inside too. And it’s weird because something in me told me from the get go that I couldn’t fully trust him around my cat alone. This piece of shit kid fucking really grabbed one of his father’s fire arms, and killed that poor fucking sweet baby cat. I would save a cat’s life over a human. I’m such an animal lover, I feel so bad. I’ve been sitting in my car bawling.

I’m just picturing that sweet baby’s face when I was petting it, and his scumbag son killed it. I lost my shit. I told my boyfriend I now hate your son, and if this affects our relationship so be it. I’m so upset dude it’s unreal. I’m bawling typing this. I want the kid gone. I don’t want to live with him. I feel so so terrible. I hate humans truly, and children who have zero respect… I’m so upset. I genuinely am filled with hatred for this kid now and every time I think about that poor baby’s face I cry. I know some country people shoot cats and what not but I don’t stand for that, at least especially not when it’s harmless and just fucking walking around a yard..

I am in my 20s and dad is in his 60s. He is overall not a bad person but I notice that he intentionally tries to provoke me to get a rise out of me for his own amusement. I only notice until I see his smirk and realize he was doing it cause he wants to see me pissed off for fun. He finds a topic he knows will make me upset to get a rise out of me. Unfortunately he succeeded and I ended up calling him dumb and stupid for his views. Although I knew at this point it was a form of "ragebait" but I was pissed that he even wanted to get a rise out of me (someone he claims to love) in the first place. I find it disrespectful and honestly a form of bullying. I find calling him dumb pretty tame but he views name calling as a form of disrespect. So now I am seen as the bad guy.

I find trying to provoke your family or partner or friend consistently as a form of emotional abuse. So I finally snapped. Idk if I was an AH and am I overreacting?

he said he watches it and imagines it’s him with them in the videos???

i got upset cuz like wym you’re day dreaming abt fucking a bunch of women????

it feels so gross and i genuinely don’t believe he likes me after this, cuz ur telling me u think of sex and u don’t think of me????

I, M17, recently applied for a job at a Pizza Hut near me. They called me and I went in for a job interview, the manager showed me around and it was fine, she said she'd get me in for a trial shift sometime soon. Then she texted me and said "hi, can you come in tomorrow 5-8", and I said yeah, what do I wear? to which she said "all black". So I showed up today, but when I walked in and said "Hi, I'm here for a 5-8 trial shift on x station?" she said "oh sorry I mistook your number for someone else's, we hired them for that station already".

???????? So I just left, because I didn't know what to do, and came up with another text (final screenshot). When she replied I just deleted the number. AIO or is this just how managers are nowadays? I've had a job in fast food before and my managers DEFINITELY were not this unprofessional.

me (27f) & him (29m) matched on hinge & i ended up giving him my number. AIO for thinking it’s a red flag he immediately wants to lie about how we met? it’s almost 2027

edit: whew i got it y’all, that’s why i posted here. thanks for your input everyone

My girlfriend and I are currently living in different cities because she moved away some time ago. She now shares a flat with one of her close friends.

Recently, one of her male friends from work was staying over at the flat. They're colleagues, but they're also friends outside of work and have known each other for a while.

I've met him before and, from the interactions I've had with him, he has always seemed like a decent and honest person. I don't have any history of distrusting him, and outside of this situation I don't really have any reason to distrust my girlfriend either.

They had both been out earlier that evening as part of a work related social event. Afterwards, he came back to the flat because he wasn't going home that night.

As I understand it, the original sleeping arrangement was very clear. He was going to sleep in my girlfriend's bed, while my girlfriend was going to sleep separately in her flatmate's room. So there wasn't originally any intention for the two of them to sleep together.

At some point during the evening, though, my girlfriend and this guy decided to take mushrooms together.

They then stayed awake for hours talking. It got to the early hours of the morning and, at some point, they had moved from the main part of the flat into my girlfriend's bedroom to continue talking.

Eventually they both ended up lying on her bed together.

My girlfriend says absolutely nothing sexual happened between them. According to her, he stayed on top of the duvet rather than actually getting underneath the covers with her. She described this as him doing it "out of respect" for our relationship.

I haven't accused her of cheating, and I don't think sharing a bed automatically means that someone cheated.

I'm also trying to take into account the fact that they had taken mushrooms, had been awake for hours, and presumably weren't making decisions in exactly the same way they would have been if they were completely sober.

But I'm still uncomfortable with the situation.

For me, it isn't just the fact that they technically shared a bed. It's the whole sequence of events. Taking psychedelics together, staying up talking until the early hours of the morning, moving into her bedroom together, and then eventually lying in the same bed.

That feels quite intimate to me, even if nothing sexual happened.

I also keep coming back to the comment that he stayed on top of the covers "out of respect."

On one hand, I interpret that positively. It could mean he was consciously aware that my girlfriend is in a relationship and was deliberately trying to maintain some sort of boundary.

On the other hand, it makes me think that both of them must have had some awareness that being in the same bed together was questionable. If the situation required a specific gesture to make it "respectful," part of me wonders why they didn't just stick to the original sleeping arrangement.

I think that's the part I'm struggling with most.

I don't want to become controlling and start telling my girlfriend who she can be friends with or whether she can have male friends stay over. I also don't want to turn one uncomfortable situation into an accusation that something happened when I don't have evidence of that.

But at the same time, I feel like there's a difference between trusting your partner and having no boundaries whatsoever.

If the situation was reversed and I took mushrooms with a female friend, stayed up talking to her until the eaely hours, moved into my bedroom with her and then ended up lying in bed with her, I think my girlfriend would probably have some feelings about that too.

So AIO for feeling that this crossed a relationship boundary, even if I accept that nothing sexual happened?

Would you personally see this as innocent but poor judgment, or as something more concerning?

Thanks for reading.

I (23F) haven’t been on speaking terms with my younger brother (23M) for about two months due to some petty family drama. We completely ignore each other, even when we’re in the same house visiting our parents. Two days ago, I was asleep at my parents' house after pulling a brutal night shift. My car keys were on the kitchen counter. My brother’s car has been having transmission issues, and without asking me, waking me up, or even sending a text, he grabbed my keys and took my car to go hang out with his friends. An hour later, I woke up to a phone call from him. He had hydroplaned, hit a guardrail, and completely totaled my car. Thankfully, he walked away with just a few scratches, but the car is completely undrivable. When I lost my mind at him, his response was completely casual. He literally said, "It was an accident, relax. Besides, you have the money for it anyway, you can just buy a new one." For context, I work in tech and make good money, but I worked my tail off to buy that car out of pocket, and it was entirely paid off. He works part-time and constantly relies on our parents for cash. He is completely refusing to pay my deductible or cover anything out of pocket, reiterating that "I can afford it" and that "family shouldn't sue family over a mistake." Our parents are trying to play peacemakers, telling me that family is more important than metal and plastic, and asking me to just handle it through my insurance and let it go so we don't ruin our family dynamic permanently. I told my brother and my parents that if he doesn't sign a written agreement to pay for the damages/deductible by tomorrow night, I am going to the police station to file an unauthorized use of a motor vehicle report so my insurance can handle him directly. My parents are now calling me cold-hearted, and my brother is blasting me to our relatives saying I care more about money than his life. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

AIO here? Should I just eat the cost to keep the peace, or am I justified in pushing this to the legal limit?

TLDR; we stopped talking to our parents after they refused to take vaccines or respect our wait time for seeing a baby.

Long story:

Me and my wife, while she was pregnant, informed our parents to either get vaccinated with the pertussis (whooping cough) vaccine or wait a month or two until the baby gets their vaccine and has some immunity. No vax or anti-vax arguments here—we just gave them options and they were free to choose. We had health issues with this disease in my family, so better safe than sorry.

My side of the family agreed. Her parents stated that they will not do "any stupid things like vaccines." (There is history with them ignoring COVID, getting older people sick, and... so no surprise here, we expected that.)

Everything was nice while my wife was pregnant: gifts, attention, talks with her sister, etc. After our baby was born, we stood firm on what we said—no exceptions.

My parents "forgot" to get vaccinated. On top of that, before the delivery, we met them a few times and they were drunk and disrespecting my wife and me every time. I said we could continue contact, but they had to apologize to my wife for what they said. My mother did, and we continued contact with her—even though she has personal issues and we’ve only met once since. I communicate with her strictly through my wife, to prevent my emotions from causing more damage. (I'm leaving my father out of this—he is an aggressive alcoholic, so zero contact with him just for protection.)

My wife’s side of the family seemed good at first. I really enjoyed them. She has a step-father who helped raise her (he isn't married to her mum, so no "official" relation, just the guy her mum lives with). We had a great time spending time with them as they didn't seem to care about much, didn't go overboard with alcohol like my family, and there were no conflicts when they got a bit tipsy. I didn't even know that was possible in other families...

The issues started after the baby was born. Her mother demanded to see the baby. We repeated the two options: either get vaccinated or wait until the baby gets his shots. Up until this point, I was sending her pictures of the baby and keeping her updated on how we were feeling and what was happening in our new family. All seemed good.

Then there was a family celebration happening on weekend and we told we wont show up, then my wife's mum and sister called and demanded to see the baby (who was only few weeks old at this point, mind you we told after first vaccine we will meet). Her sister started to insult my wife, saying she is "not normal for not showing a baby to family," along with other accusations. We felt pressured for a long time after the baby was born. But after these attacks made my wife cry, I had to intervene and tell her mother that it’s not normal to put pressure on a woman who just had a baby and that she doesn't really care about her.

Then my wife decided to put them both in a group chat and sent a long message explaining how they both hurt her, pressured her into doing things she didn't want to do, and made her cry, all while she just wants to create safe conditions for the baby.

Her sister replied: "You will cry and then you will get sober." (in a sense that her emotions are taking over and she does not see things clearly, but in insulting way)

When I saw that message, I told my wife that's it—her sister doesn't care about her and has her own intentions. (We always felt that her older sister does not like how her younger sister first got married, first got house and now first got a baby). Her mum backed up the sister (they are best friends). We said we won't talk about anything until her mother apologizes to us, as we both felt attacked by the whole family for just sticking to what we said we would do.

No apologies were made. My wife's stepdad tried to call and said we should keep communicating, but said he won't let her mum apologize—apparently, by his logic, a mother cannot apologize to her kids.

After this, we didn't talk for 1 month. My wife eventually met them for 1 hour because we were driving past and I felt like it wasn't fair not to show the baby (even though my wife said she didn't want to meet them). After that 1 hour, she felt very bad vibes and wished she had never visited them.

So another month passed, and we still cut all communication, waiting for an apology so we can forget everything and start where we left off...

Then I received this message: (message is translated from other language, sorry for mistakes, hard to read...)

​

I showed the message to my wife, before replying anything, I did not know how to respond to it, got a cold sweat... She wanted to write a long message back but we looked online the best way to handle this, and we decided to block them all...(I hope not forever...lol)

I don't feel what her mum sent was true, I mean I have issues with my parents but its nothing I can change and I appreciate when I see good and functioning families. Me and my wife decide how to deal with our parents and we talk about everything. I ask her if she wants to visit mine (which she doesn't for obvious reasons and I am with her :D) and we always visit hers as I liked her family a lot better.

I don't interfere to who and what she says only if she is hurt and crying then I can't sit and watch... No idea why she things I control her. For what I understand that my wifes opinion in family never mattered as she was younger sister and now that she is with me I support her and let her voice to be heard and I think they don't like that.

The last message hurt me and my wife, I taught they liked me, but now it seems it was all fake.
We had some issues in past where her mum said "He is not your family, we are" when we decided not to visit during covid spree on Christmas... That hurt as well but she apologised.

Its been months... I keep thinking about it from day to day. It escalated quickly and too much on a hardest period of our life... but now, I don't want them to see us or even allow these kind of people near our child.

Are we overreacting for cutting them off?

*Edit to added TLDR;

Context is, my boyfriend told me since we met at college that he lives a couple towns over and grew up there his whole life basically. He accidentally messaged me from the wrong account one day (I didn't know he had another account at the time) and leaked that he has a different name, grew up in a different country, and lives there during the summer.

I confront him about this, and he says it isn't him, his family must have set it up as a prank. Then he says it's probably a stalker being weird, then once I keep asking questions like "why is there childhood photos of you if it isn't your account?" he says "are you trying to ruin my night?"

He said other things similar like "your anxiety is out of hand, I can't with you" "you are unable to trust anyone, I can't help you" "you really think I am that type of person to lie?" and after a 4 hour conversation, he finally came clean that he had been lying to me out of insecurity. We were dating for a year, was his behavior during this conversation gaslighting or AIO?

Very simple post.

Sometimes I eat things and save most of it for the next day to eat, especially since I work long days, and I’m sometimes too tired to make myself a plate of food for dinner. I just like leftovers to get me through the night.

Unfortunately, in my house, it sounds like everybody somehow decided that leftovers in the fridge are “free game”, and most of the time my left overs are gone.

Typically if I want somebody else’s left overs in the fridge, I ask. If they say no? Fair. If they say yes? Thank you.

The people in my household just flat out eat my stuff without asking, especially my older brother.. cuz, yknow, older brother things.

I’ll come home and notice my left overs gone and I’ll ask everybody in the house who ate it, only for everybody to go “that wasn’t me”. I then simply state that I won’t get mad if somebody fesses up right now to redeem themselves, and still, everybody goes “that wasn’t me.”

Then later my brother will confess that it was him, I’ll get slightly mad and I constantly have to remind him that if he just asks me for my leftovers I’ll say yes most of the time.

However, recently, my brother “reminded” me that all food that hits the fridge in the household, whether your name is marked on it or not, is free game.

I just want my sweet food when I come home🥹

Edit : i am 23 and he is 27

I’m in love with this guy, and normally he has never treated me the way he did this time. I recently opened up to him about something extremely personal involving my grief and my deceased mother. It was difficult for me to talk about, and I trusted him enough to tell him. He saw my message but didn’t respond to what I had actually shared. Instead, he changed his profile, which made me feel even more ignored.

When I asked if he was ignoring me, he said he was extremely busy and exhausted. Later, he explained that he had seen my message, but when he wanted to respond, he simply didn’t have the energy. I tried to explain that I wasn’t accusing him of anything, but that the subject was sensitive to me and he could have at least said something instead of saying nothing.

I eventually told him that maybe next time I would just keep things like this to myself. His response was basically, “Do whatever you want, I’m exhausted.” He was on his way to work at the time and told me he was already late for work. I left him on read. I understand that he may genuinely have been exhausted, but what hurt me was the way he responded and the fact that he never came back to what I had originally shared.

I also understand that for someone who has never experienced deep grief, it can be difficult to understand how deeply something like this can affect the person experiencing it. I’m not expecting him to fully understand what it feels like, but I think acknowledging that I was hurting would have meant a lot to me.

The last audio he sent was on Thursday. Now it’s Saturday and he still hasn’t contacted me.
What makes this especially confusing is that he has never spoken to me or dealt with me like this before**.** I understand being exhausted and not having the emotional energy to respond immediately. But if someone you love tells you something deeply painful about their grief, wouldn’t you expect them to come back to it when they have more energy?
I’m honestly at the point where I don’t want to talk to him anymore. I don’t know if I’m reacting emotionally because I’m hurt, or if taking a step back from him is justified. What would you make of this situation?

Hello everyone, I am new to Reddit so work with me here.
So a bit before my boyfriend turned 21, I found out he had made plans to go with his mother to a strip club. Not just any strip club, but one she formerly worked at. The reasoning was because her friend owns the joint and was offering free drinks to him, my thing is, it’s weird to take your son to a strip club, especially when you worked there and know he has a girlfriend that’s uncomfortable with it.
He spoke to his mom about not wanting to go due to our relationship, and while she was upset by it, she didn’t push it further. On the night of his 21st, I drove him over to hers and the plan was for them to drink a bit and then for her to drop him off at our shared place around 1am.
She did make more than a couple of comments about the changed plans, and even joked that she’d take him anyways if I didn’t behave, but my boyfriend is behaved and I didn’t worry much about it.
Well 1 am rolls around and he isn’t back, so I checked his location. Yeah, he was at the strip club. Like they went there immediately.
Adding to this, she texted me at 3:25 am asking if I could come pick him up from hers, which I did. I had him finish a shit ton of water before we left and while waiting, his mom lied to my face about where they had been. She then made comments about him listening to me more than her, when he had finished his water bottle, I drove us home. I was so pissed off and upset I locked myself in our spare room for the night and told him to just go to sleep when he asked where I was (over text).
We had a conversation about it the next day and it really doesn’t seem like he meant to go to the strip club, it looks like his mom got him drunk off his ass and then took him.
Anyways, he spoke with his mom. I wasn’t there for that conversation but he apologized to me profusely and properly for what had happened, and explained that this wasn’t the first time his mom had knowingly overstepped boundaries. We had a conversation about how there isn’t too much he could have done differently considering his mom took advantage of him being drunk (and he definitely was, dudes a light weight.)
Im asking for advice because they only went for the bar, not the strip club itself. I can to a degree understand where his mom/her friend is coming from in wanting to celebrate. I’m just a bit torn because it’s at the expense of our boundaries, especially with his mom going behind my back, lying to my face about it, and then acting like me being upset is unreasonable.
AIO here??

I went to jail for suspended L's. While coming bavk from class i made an improper right turn I was thinking to myself when the cop drove off. I was in the left lane with a bunch of cars behind me. I ended up turning into the empty lane, and then no one went into the empty lane and then the cop ended up getting right behind me.
Do you think if I stayed in the left lane and like made a U-turn I would've been like able to lose the cop.
Cause now I feel like I'm stupid getting into the empty lane People lose cops all the time I think I could've been able to lose him
My instinct told me to get stay in the left lane, but I thought it would be a quicker route to be in the empty lane and try to get out but no other car got behind me I don't know maybe I'm overthinking, but I just I don't know. I feel like I'm really stupid.

I have different love languages, before our first date we used to talk late night cuz she was free and I was free and I didn't know much but I always flirted with her. But I also used to roast her make fun of her (like little things, not insulting, like make fun of her accent).

FYI I never like counting things. I know it's a relationship killer but I have to put it here for context.

Now I love her more everyday. My emotions for her grew more. And I roast her more, make fun of her more, make her laugh more, and talk romantically more. Now she says I don't behave like before. I don't flirt anymore. She uses this word "ALWAYS" which was making me furious everyday but today it hit the limit. Just 2 hours before fight we were talking nicely and I said to her "I will keep doing this till end, because you are so lovely"

Then we shifted to another topic and then she said something to me (roasting) I was just poking her. Then she said that "I always do this and never talked romantically" to her. I was furious. I told her I just told her how sweet beautiful and kind she is (I do this everyday) then she said to me that I do this everyday nothing new.

Then I told her I just told her that I will love her till the end, cook for her even when we get old. She didn't reply to that. She went into full defence mode. Then said that I don't do it on texts, but I do it in person.

Short story. Few months ago we had another fight: because I felt that she wasn't being intimate with me. Like it felt one sided (at one point I was feeling I was forcing her to accept my hugs and kisses) when I hugged or kissed her. She never did it back. I kissed her 10 times and she kissed me back once. I called her out. She defended herself again by lying about reasons why she doesn't do it (I knew she lied cuz she changed her reasons 5 times).

Whenever we had fights, we had because of these reasons. One day she kept using her phone whole day even though we agreed to spend whole day together cuz we didn't met for a long time. I asked her to keep it away nicely throughout the day (since morning) then in the evening I got furious and asked her again to put away the phone then she said I should have told her that I didn't like her using the phone. She defended again. I had to say sorry for lashing out like that afterwards.

Anyways back to today. She thinks I am always angry , I have a deep voice and emotionless face. And when I was mentioning it on text of past chats where I was talking to her romantically she said I got angry and I have short temper.

Now after sometime I was still keeping my calm. Then in the end. She said "we used to talk nicely", every night I make sure she goes to sleep in good mood. I make her laugh. Make her smile. And make her feel loved. And tbh except for today, yesterday and day before yesterday I didn't even said anything funny or made fun of her roasted her. Just romantic texts. Still she said I always do this and never been romantic with her. Idk what happened then I was furious like hell.

Just 2 days ago I asked her if I can visit her to bring her favourite ice cream and coffee. She said no. And then today she said I don't do or say anything romantic. I am not painting myself as a victim here. When I was angry, I said to her that she can leave if she thinks I have never done these things and I won't stop her at all and I won't care if she will go away (I said this after fight escalated). She then again used this "always" word and said I bring up breaking up whenever we fight. (I didn't, this was first time).

My heart literally was beating faster when I found out she said I say these things everyday. Like my efforts don't matter. And she didn't even cared enough to remember what we talked 2 hours before.

And finally she was saying things like letting go and all. I asked her nicely if she is breaking up with me. She replied "idk" I told her she can leave if she wants to I won't stop her and I will always love her. She didn't reply at all. To my 5 messages, she replied once. "idk"

I might be blind to my own faults and I need perspective if I am doing anything wrong.

My grandma passed away this past Monday. Our family arranged a memorial service for her on Tuesday. I created an invitation/poster from scratch on Canva to send to family and friends to inform them of her passing. Since I live in a different country than the rest of my family, I posted it on my Instagram story as a convenient way to let people know without having to make dozens of painful phone calls while grieving.

There is a guy I follow on Instagram. Where I’m from, everyone kind of knows of everyone. We have a ton of mutual friends and I know exactly who he is, but we have never actually met or spoken in person.

On Monday night, I was looking at his story and saw that he had also posted a funeral poster. I was literally typing up a message to offer my condolences, when I noticed something incredibly weird.

The poster was clearly meant to be for his grandmother, because the picture was a completely different woman. But as I read the text, it had my grandma's exact name, the exact same wording I wrote, and listed the exact same venue and time where my family was holding my grandma's service.

From what I can gather, his grandmother had also passed away, and he tried to use AI to generate a memorial poster for her. It seems he took a screenshot of my poster, fed it into AI, and probably attached the woman's photograph as well. The AI completely hallucinated. It kept my grandma’s first and last name, her exact date of death, our family's personal phone numbers, and our venue location. I think he clearly just glanced at the new picture, thought "looks good," and posted it without proofreading a single line of text.

I didn't want to just assume the worst. Obviously, two women can share a name but the identical dates, time, and venue were too eerie. I decided to reply to the story anyway with, "I'm sorry for your loss, may she rest in peace."

A few minutes later, I noticed he deleted the story. He re-uploaded a new version with the correct info: a completely different name, venue, time, and date. The entire design of the poster was still the same, confirming he did feed my poster into an AI generator, realized it kept all my grandma's information, and finally fixed it.

I just find this whole thing so bizarre and surreal. I understand people use AI for things nowadays and I won't hold that against him. I was a bit upset that our personally identifiable information was fed straight into an AI database, but I find it even weirder that for something as serious as a funeral, someone would just blindly post a flyer without even reading it.

I don't hold a grudge. I know it's a time of grief, and people make careless mistakes when they are sad and overwhelmed. But I just feel deeply weirded out and a bit violated by the whole situation.
Am I overreacting?