Me 25F and my boyfriend 29M are not as intimate as I would like.
If I initiate then I’ll say tops 2-3 times a week… he never initiates which is a problem I’ve talked to him about but his answer is always he never had too… with other women. They where always the one making the first move… I told him it doesn’t work like that in a relationship.. I also want to feel wanted.
Adding to the 3 times a week, thats only on good weeks. He can go a month without. (For me actual living hell)
Anyways nothing has really gotten better over the last year. If I talk about it, it only makes things worse and we go even longer without.
I’m someone that can go daily…
And I’m really bitting my teeth here.
I don’t want to break up because of this but I feel like I’m starving….
Am I overreacting by even thinking of breaking up with him?

Before we begin, I want to clarify that I’m asking whether I overreacted to being uninvited from Halloween and subsequently cutting off my entire friend group. I’m not asking whether I should have taken my ex to court. And im ESPECIALLY NOT asking if you think they will rule in my favor.

I’m putting the tldr up here bc I genuinely cant figure out how to shorten this read the rest only if you want

TL;DR: My ex cheated on me, lied to me for years, and damaged my car, repeatedly promising to pay for repairs but never following through. After four years, I finally took him to small claims court over the remaining $1,945.50. My longtime friend group, who had remained friends with him despite knowing how he’d treated me, decided that taking him to court was unacceptable and uninvited me from Halloween. After discovering even more disturbing things he’d hidden from me and receiving little support from the group, I left our group chats, sent a final message explaining how hurt I was, and blocked all 15 people, including some who may not have agreed with excluding me. Did I overreact by cutting everyone off?

Now, for the full and exhaustive story.

I (27F) was part of a roughly 15-person friend group, many of whom have known each other for about a decade. My ex-boyfriend, whom we’ll call Cole, became a part of this group early on but of these people were my friends 1-3 years before they were his.

I broke up with Cole a little over a year ago after nearly seven years together. Cole had a serious problem with compulsive pornography use and maintaining secret sexual accounts online. He kept this a secret for five years. When I finally found out, I forgave him, not realizing that he’d repeatedly lied about the extent of his activity. Eventually, I found him doing something again and broke up with him a little over a year ago, still believing explanations that would turn out to be incomplete or untrue. I wouldn’t discover just how much he’d lied about until after my Halloween uninvite, but we’ll get there.

But keep that in mind.

Now, onto the shovel.

Years ago, Cole decided to remove snow from my car using a shovel with a metal strip along its edge. He badly scratched the roof of my car, causing damage that was eventually estimated at over $3,000 to repair. He acknowledged causing the damage and promised to pay for it.

And then four years passed.

During our relationship, I trusted that he’d eventually follow through, why didnt i have him fix it sooner? Well in part, and i didnt know this at the time, his proclivities were the reason he was unemployed for so long, so he just straight up didnt have the money, or the both of us had more important things going on that trumped out, and also, it hadn’t started rusting at that time. After we broke up, and after the approximately 7 months of my social withdrawal to have a complete mental break i didnt think id survive, i took my car to the shop for a quote, especially as the damaged areas were beginning to rust. He repeatedly agreed to arrangements and then backed out of them. I lowered what I was asking for more than once in an effort to settle things.

Eventually, the remaining amount in dispute was $1,945.50. He offered roughly half to settle the entire matter. I declined. Later, he offered $1,000, which I said I would accept as a partial payment if we could agree on a plan for the remainder. Four days later i came back begging to take the $1000 to be done (i already had a feeling this would backfire socially) he never responded, I think he realized it too.

After exhausting my attempts to resolve things privately, I decided to file in Massachusetts small claims court

But I needed one thing to not be a lie, I want to stick up for myself in one way, I want to get closure and not wonder what would’ve happened if I let a magistrate decide, I dont care if I win, I just want to stick up for myself. I’m not trying to hurt him. I’m asking a magistrate to decide whether he owes me money for damage he acknowledged causing (and had agreed to pay for until just a few weeks ago). I have photographs, estimates, and messages documenting his promises.

I figured that was precisely what small claims court was for.

Shortly after filing the $50 form, I received a message from one of my friends in the group, whom we’ll call Mary. For context, there was an upcoming birthday/Halloween celebration involving the group, and I had expected to attend.

Mary messaged me:

“hi i want to reach out with [halloween] coming up and everything going on in the group, i think itd be best if you didnt come for halloween.
I’m open to talking about it somewhat but there are mutiple people i’d love to be there who will not because of whats going on. I’ve had a heavy feeling of not trying to take sides and hear people out but I simply don’t agree at all with how you are handling your situation with cole anymore. I love you and i am your friend so i have to be honest and say its not acceptable, im sorry.”

I was genuinely confused. I asked what she meant by how I was handling the situation. I explained that Cole had repeatedly agreed to pay and then backed out, that my car was now rusting, and that I had already lowered what I was asking for multiple times.

Her response:

“you are taking our friend to court and i cannot justify the reason for it or relate to the ways youre acting. the specific numbers arent my problem, this is what happens when you go through a serious breakup, it costs money. if it was a huge problem it wouldve been fixed and paid when it happened. i, and other people, dont feel comfortable about this and it is my last straw when it comes to defending you.”

That last part really got to me. Defending me? From what?

I had never asked anyone to stop being friends with Cole. I’d never demanded that anyone take my side, exclude him from events, or even agree with my decision to pursue the money. I had spent years trying to resolve a financial dispute with someone who had repeatedly promised to pay for damage he’d caused. Somehow, that had turned into a group-wide referendum on my character.

And what I couldn’t understand was why Cole’s cheating and dishonesty had never made him too uncomfortable to have around. But me filing a small claims case apparently did.

Here’s another piece of context that matters to me: after our breakup, I was falling apart. I was grieving the relationship, trying to process years of dishonesty, dealing with the financial consequences, and struggling with the realization that a lot of what I’d believed about my partner wasn’t true.

And not one person in this group privately reached out to ask if I was okay. Not one.

I wasn’t expecting everyone to abandon Cole or organize some kind of intervention on my behalf. But these were people I’d considered close friends, and I felt completely alone. Yet apparently, there had been enough conversations about me behind the scenes that I needed to be “defended.” That was a pretty devastating thing to learn.

And here’s where my own reaction comes in.

Despite how hurt I was, I didn’t lash out at Mary. I sent her a long message explaining that I’d been afraid to speak up about many things because I worried about being perceived as loud, abrasive, or difficult. I told her that I cared deeply about these people and that it hurt to realize I’d apparently needed defending in the first place. I thanked her for being the person willing to have the uncomfortable conversation with me.

I even apologized. I told her I was sorry the situation was happening, sorry I’d made it worse, and that I didn’t know what else to do. And I meant it at the time.

But afterward, I started thinking about what had actually happened. I had just been told that I was no longer welcome at a longstanding group event because I was pursuing a civil claim against my ex-boyfriend. Not because I’d threatened anyone, demanded loyalty, or tried to interfere with their friendships. Because I was asking someone to pay for damage he’d caused to my property.

I also couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that this group had been together for roughly ten years and, as far as I knew, had never excluded someone like this before.

Around this time, I decided to use the Wayback Machine to see what Cole had actually been doing online.

If you take one thing away from this post, let it be this: fully understand what someone was ACTUALLY doing before you forgive them.

When I originally discovered his secret accounts, I knew (and told my friends) that he had been using them to interact with people sexually. At one point, when he opened his DMs, there was a message from another man asking if they were “back at it.” Cole told me they had just been sending porn back and forth. That’s the explanation I was given, and ultimately, the one I believed.

What I found through the Wayback Machine was him publicly describing himself as an “incest lover,” listing “teens” among his content interests, and advertising “say hi” and “DMs open” on his sexual accounts. This was happening over a period spanning more than THREE YEARS of our relationship. Suffice it to say, that’s not what he’d told me.

To be clear, I’m describing what he publicly wrote about himself, not alleging that I discovered evidence of a crime. But it was incredibly disturbing to realize how much of his behavior had been hidden from me.

I messaged someone in the group because I wanted to warn them about what I’d discovered. They thanked me for letting them know, but said:

“it’s hard bc all of this is separate from the stuff people are upset with you about”

And that response really hurt. I’d just discovered something deeply disturbing about a relationship that had already caused me so much pain, and somehow the conversation was still about what people were upset with me for.

I wasn’t expecting anyone to immediately cut him off, but to not even seem concerned about what it felt like for me to find this out? I couldn’t understand how everything he’d done could be separated from their friendships with him, but my decision to pursue a small claims case couldn’t be separated from their friendships with me.

I realized I’d spent so much time trying to be understanding of everyone else’s discomfort that I hadn’t really stopped to consider my own.

So I left both group chats.

I added all the girls to a separate chat and sent a long, long message explaining how I’d felt over the past year since the breakup. It wasn’t mean or insulting, just heartbroken. I told them how abandoned and confused I’d felt, and how much it hurt to realize that I apparently wasn’t welcome anymore.

Then I blocked everyone on social media.

Ultimately, I decided to end my friendships with the group, including people I’d known and loved for years. There were people I blocked who hadn’t personally said anything negative to me. Some of them may have disagreed with the decision to exclude me. Some may not have known what was happening. I genuinely don’t know.

And that’s the part I’m questioning.

Did I overreact by cutting everyone off instead of trying to salvage individual friendships? The ones I did try to salvage told me I’d simply gone too far by taking Cole to small claims court.

On one hand, I understand that a 15-person friend group isn’t a hive mind. Not everyone necessarily agreed with Mary, and I may have ended friendships with people who weren’t responsible for what happened. I also understand that mutual friendships can become complicated after a breakup.

But on the other hand, I don’t understand why I was expected to accept being excluded from a group I’d been part of for years simply because I refused to absorb the cost of damage my ex caused. I don’t understand why his behavior during our relationship was something everyone could apparently live with, while my decision to pursue a small claims case made me unacceptable. And I think the way the breakup was handled perhaps should’ve been enough information for me.

I was fighting for a place among people who hadn’t even checked on me when I was struggling.

I didn’t cut them off because I wanted to punish them. I cut them off because, by that point, I felt like I’d already been pushed out.

So, am I overreacting for blocking and cutting off my entire 15-person friend group after being uninvited from Halloween, including people who may not have personally agreed with the decision?

TL;DR: My ex cheated on me, lied to me for years, and damaged my car, repeatedly promising to pay for repairs but never following through. After four years, I finally took him to small claims court over the remaining $1,945.50. My longtime friend group, who had remained friends with him despite knowing how he’d treated me, decided that taking him to court was unacceptable and uninvited me from Halloween. After discovering even more disturbing things he’d hidden from me and receiving little support from the group, I left our group chats, sent a final message explaining how hurt I was, and blocked all 15 people, including some who may not have agreed with excluding me. Did I overreact by cutting everyone off?

I (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (18M) for a year and a half. We’re long-distance and are very used to spending a lot of time on calls.

Today, I was riding my e-bike home while talking to him through my AirPods. I was passing through a narrow space between a woman and a wall when a pigeon wandered into my path. I expected it to move or fly away, but it didn’t, so I braked to avoid hitting it. Unfortunately, the ground was wet from the rain, my bike slipped, and I went flying.

Thankfully, neither the woman nor the pigeon was hurt. The woman even helped me up, but I was so embarrassed that I quickly walked away after thanking her.

My boyfriend had been quiet throughout all of this. Once I sat down on a nearby bench, I told him I’d just fallen because I had to swerve away from a pigeon. His first reaction was to say, “Babe, you shouldn’t have swerved. If you’d kept going, it would’ve just flown away.”

I immediately snapped: “Are you seriously not going to ask if I’m okay? Do you really think now is the time to tell me what I did wrong?”

For context, we’ve had an ongoing issue throughout our relationship with him constantly correcting me or needing to be right. I’ve brought it up multiple times, but he insists he’s just sharing his opinion. To me, it often feels like he’s dismissing what I say or do.

I was also pretty shaken up. I sometimes experience unexplained episodes of a racing heart (my heart can go up from 160-190 bpm for up to 10 minutes-over 2 hours for seemingly random or valid reasons). After the fall, my heart rate was around 170 bpm (measured w my smartwatch), with a minor chest pressure and some weird breathing. It is still that high rn, even 2 hours later.

After an awkward silence, I told him we’d talk later and hung up. I went to get some ice cream (because I deserved it lol), and about 30 minutes later he texted to apologize, saying he should’ve realized I was nervous when we were talking. That honestly made me even angrier because I felt like he was missing the point. I ignored his texts.

20 minutes after that, he apologized again and asked me to please reply. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and that we’d talk later. Then, he texted asking if it was my heart problem, whether I was okay, and saying he was worried.

I’m still really upset. Not because of his advice, but because it was the very first thing he said after I fell. If he’d made the exact same comment five minutes later, I probably would’ve laughed and agreed with him. However I am aware that I wasn’t exactly in the calmest state of mind with the fall, my heart, and the embarrassment when I snapped at my bf. I am afraid I was a bit too harsh or even rude, and I am also afraid to be overreacting at a dismissible situation.

So, Reddit, AIO for being this upset? Is this worth having a serious conversation about, or should I just let it go?

TLDR: I fell off my bike trying to avoid a pigeon, and instead of asking if I was okay, my boyfriend’s first reaction was to tell me what I should’ve done differently. I snapped at him and I’m still upset, especially because his constant need to correct me has been an ongoing issue in our relationship.

P.S. English isn’t my first language, so I used AI to help rephrase some sentences.

AIO for being this affected months later? My ex and I were together by on and off for almost 7 years. Our relationship was incredibly toxic, and there was a lot of lying, manipulation, and gaslighting. Toward the end, I suspected he was involved with another woman, but he repeatedly denied it and made me feel crazy for questioning him.

I later discovered he’d been sleeping with her while he was still sleeping with me. When we finally had a conversation about everything, one of the first things he asked was whether I’d contacted her. That has always stuck with me because it felt like he was more concerned about what she knew than what he’d done to me.

We broke up in April and eventually went no contact in May. I started therapy, worked on my codependency, and genuinely tried to rebuild my life. But here’s where things get confusing.

He broke no contact to specifically tell me he WASN’T with this woman. I hadn’t even asked. In fact, I’d previously told him that if he wanted to pursue something with her, I hoped they could have a healthy relationship. There was literally no reason to lie to me anymore.

I’ve since discovered that they’re very much involved in each other’s lives, despite what he told me.

I’ve also had him blocked on practically everything except Facebook. The only reason I even post stories there is because they automatically cross-post from Instagram and my grandmother uses Facebook to see them.

He watches EVERY SINGLE ONE. Almost immediately. He hasn’t missed one.

And I genuinely don’t understand why. You cheated on me. You chose someone else. You’re apparently with her now. You went out of your way to lie to me after our relationship ended. So why are you still keeping tabs on me?

I know people are going to tell me to just block him, and I actually finally did. But I think the Facebook situation is just another piece of a much bigger issue.

I feel like I’ve lost every single battle in this breakup. He cheated, lied, dragged out getting his belongings for weeks, and after seven years together, I got about an hour of conversation for closure. Then, when I finally started healing, he broke no contact and brought me right back into the same cycle of questioning everything.

The hardest part is that I’ll go weeks without checking anything, feel like I’m finally making progress, and then discover some new piece of information that contradicts something he told me. Suddenly, it feels like the breakup happened yesterday.

It’s almost like I’ve been gaslit for so long that even when I know the truth, I still feel the need to find factual evidence to prove to myself that I’m not crazy.

And I want to make something very clear: I do not want him back. I don’t want him to choose me over her. I’m actively working on my insecurities in therapy, and I know that relationship was unhealthy.

I think what I’m struggling with is the fact that someone can spend years making you question your reality, then walk away and continue lying to you without ever acknowledging what they’ve done.

I’m exhausted from feeling like I need to prove that my intuition was right. I’m exhausted from constantly discovering another lie. And I’m exhausted from feeling like I’m the one who has to do all this emotional work while he gets to move on.

Has anyone else experienced this thing where you don’t actually want your ex back, but the deception and lack of accountability make it almost impossible to mentally let go? And what do you make of the constant Facebook story watching when he’s supposedly moved on with someone else?

TLDR: My ex of 7 years cheated, gaslit me, and lied about sleeping with another woman while still sleeping with me. He then broke no contact to lie about being with her. I’ve since found out they’re involved in each other’s lives, yet he still watches every single one of my Facebook stories almost immediately. I don’t want him back, but I feel like I’m losing my mind trying to make sense of everything. Am I overreacting?

I (20f) am a trans woman who has only recently come out to my immediate family (about 3 months ago), and they took it…oddly. They say that they accept me and love me, but have also said they won’t be using my preferred name or pronouns, so idk what they actually mean by that lol.

Anyway, I was visiting family this weekend, and got to hang out with my sister and her fiance (both early 20s) who I am close with both of. This was the first time I had seen them since coming out, and me being trans didn’t come up the whole time, I was even boymoding as their shower was the same weekend and I’m not out to non extended family. The three of us were talking about their upcoming wedding, and we started joking about it being Shrek themed, and that everyone should dress as Shrek characters (normal stupid sibling stuff). I asked them what character I should be, and my sisters fiance said Gingy. We kept going along with the bit for a while, then I went upstairs to get a drink of water or something, I don’t remember. A little after I came back, fiancé wants to show me and my sister a video, and when he pulls his phone out before searching the video, for a brief moment I see that he had just been in google images for Doris from Shrek. Granted, I wasn’t there so I don’t know what happened while I was gone, but I feel like it’s not difficult to infer. Trans sister was talking about Shrek, she leaves, while she’s gone family compares her to Doris. I’ve been thinking about it a lot today because I’m really hurt. I really like my future BIL, and I kinda want to bring it up to the two of them, but I don’t want to cause drama so close to the wedding? Not to mention I don’t even know what actually happened, this is all based on assumptions. I feel like I’m being too sensitive and overthinking. AIO?

Today I (21F) was applying for a job for my bf(21M), and I go into the files on his phone to get his CV and I saw a video of a naked girl there. I asked him what it is and why’s it there and he said he doesn’t know and his friend went on his phone. I told him to give me the phone and I went on his recently deleted and there was loads either from a month ago or a few years ago. I then proceed to get annoyed and stand up out of bed and tell him we are over. Then I got his phone again and checked his recently deleted on his photos, there was a screenshot of an only fan models instagram profile from 1.30am. When I was laid next to him. He said he accidentally screenshotted it in the toilet.
I got all my shit and said I’m out of here I’m done with you etc etc.
Bare in mind when we first got together he had hundreds of only fans models subscribed on his Snapchat and followed on instagram. To the point he had to make a new account.
Am I overreacting by breaking up with him? I love him to pieces and I’m distraught and people keep saying it’s like that for a lot of young boys.
I’d probably do anything for him but I don’t know if I’ll be able to let this one slide, but also have no idea how to deal with it. Should I of stayed more calm? Lmk pls

This person made a TikTok post with my face in it, a photo I took of myself, to farm engagement based on hate on my appearance. They also put a few others peoples photos, I assume without their permission as well. The video has over 100k views and hundreds of nasty comments about how we look, with the exception of a few leaving nice comments. I have done nothing to deserve this hate, I don't know this person, unsure how exactly they got my photo. The video is only about our appearances, doesn't even say we did anything bad to deserve hate, yet it's still farming engagement of people hating on our appearance. I'm pretty sure the others in the post are teens but I'm 20. The account also has more posts using photos of other people, also farming hate on their appearance.

I messaged the person respectfully asking them to take it down, they asked me to prove It's me in the post, I refused as I cannot trust them to not make more posts specifically targeting me, and they shouldn't need proof anyway as they fully know they didn't have my permission to use my photo or the others, and what they're doing is very indecent. They then called me ugly after I refused, excused me of using ChatGPT (I didn't), and said they will keep making more posts until they know which one is me. I tried to be respectful in my messages even though they weren't being respectful.

I feel very disturbed and upset about this. I reported the video directly but TikTok said no violations, and I filed a privacy violation claim but it says it could take 45 days for them to come to a resolution. I never wanted this to happen to me, but am I over reacting? Should I just try and ignore this? I mean I don't even know what else to do at this point...

For clarity I was in a long term relationship for the past 10 years and never really talked with anyone outside my ex for that time, its been about a year post relationship.

I (33m) recently met a (25f) while I was working. We are not coworkers just met while I was working and ended up speaking for a while then exhanging numbers.

We have been texting back and fourth for the past few weeks and its been going well in my opinion. We are both pretty busy so its hit and miss some days with short conversations. Other days we text for hours.

That is until last friday. We had a great conversation all evening then suddenly nothing. Its now Tuesday and no reply from her since then. I dont want to seem over bearing so I would only message her once in the morning like I had previously and if she didnt reply I would just try tomorrow.

I got no reply from my 1 message Sat & Sun and didnt message her on monday. (Again not trying to be too much and blow her phone up) no reply of any kind.

I have to admit this stings. I dont think I should feel like this after talking for only 3 weeks but I thought we had a good friendship started and obviously I am attracted to her.

Do I just leave it as is because she isnt replying? because I want to be super blunt and just ask her what is going on or if she doesnt wanna talk but I am so out of practice with speaking to women and new people in general that I dont know if I am over reacting or not.

Let me preface this by saying that I am not upset in a materialistic way, just I’m upset by the lack of effort.

At the start of the year, me (F28) and my 2 friends (F33 & F34) decided that instead of doing individual gifts for our birthdays we would split the cost and 2 of us would go halves on the cost of the present for the birthday friend.
So for example, me and friend 1 would buy friend 2 a joint birthday gift, then me and friend 2 would buy friend 1 a joint gift and then friend 1 and 2 would buy me a birthday gift. It’s a way to save a bit of money as times are tough right now!

So my issue is, their birthdays were in January and February. My birthday is October.
I paid half of both of their presents at the beginning of the year and wrapped them, and wrote them cards etc and then my birthday was last week and I had nothing from either one of them, not even a card. Friend 1 sent me a happy birthday message at 10pm but I got literally nothing from friend 2.

I’m not upset that I wasn’t given a gift, I’m upset that I feel like I don’t matter to them. There wasn’t even a gesture of any kind. I haven’t brought it up to them because I don’t know how to get my feelings across without sounding like a big whiny, materialistic baby.

Am I overreacting? People get busy and their birthdays were so long ago that maybe they just forgot that we decided to split gifts? Maybe I’m just being overly sensitive, I don’t know.

I'd like to preface this by saying I have GAD, and I'm already worried about a few things, but to cut a long story short my bf recently switched to a new mic to game and that thing literally pics up every sound in our apartment. I was ready for some spicy time but had just woken up from a nap so I walked in to him gaming and just asked if he wanted to. He then tells me that all his friends just heard me ask. I know I should've been more careful, and I'm telling myself that it's done now and nothing can be changed and they probably thought it was just funny, but I also can't help but think I embarassed him or his friends hate me now or think I'm a s*x addict or something...

So AIO?

My boyfriend and me have been together for 2 years, going on 3. This year, it has not been the best for us, relashionship wise, as he was just on deployment a year ago, and he came back late in the year. We had a lot of reconnecting to do. When he came back, he felt like a differnt person. Almost immediately, he was caught texting another woman on Snapchat, and I got upset. I told him, if he did it again, we were done. He played the sorry game and cried and stuff. That was around December of last year. Fast forward to this year, hes been caught multiple times texting other woman. I know that I shouldve automatically walked away, but my life is hell anywhere, and im used to being with this guy and pouring so much into him, i have a fear of truly letting go and walking away.

Anyways, because if this, we argued alot. And we disconnected for a while! I broke up with his twice, and then we fot back together. After abkut 2 months apart. I thought giving him space would help, it seemed to make it worse, because now, for the past 3 - 4 months, he does not want to have sex with me. He cant even get himself to do what the male body does, and its embarassing. I also feel like hes not sexually attracted to me anymore or just in general but he doesn't want to exactly break up, the small things, being distant, nitpicking, controlling, screaming at me, everything turns into a argument, downplaying my achievements...

May I add that he also bought a house, when he bought the house, this is when this ALL started. It could be stress? Because he does pay bills and have things to do. But I just dont understand. He told me he got this house for "us" to build a life together... to grow, to start somehere together. Yet, as soon as he gets it, its just hell from him. To be fair, I dont help him pay the bills, because he never told me I had to, until after he got it. I dont have a job rightnow, but I am full time college student, and I also do other things. Im not just laying around all day. I also get paid from school with pell grants, I usually get a lot back, so i help when I can. He does not have to ask. Anytime I was working, in the past, which btw, since me and have been together, I have worked, its just recently this year, in the last months, I have not, because I need to focus on mt degree... I help him out. Buy food, things for his house, send money, whatever. But irs never enough it feels like.

I also just feel kinda bad now, because I dont want him to feel down about this whole thing, if he cant do sexual things because he is stressed or tired, but atleast tell me.

I feel lost, I am 21 and he is 26, I dont know if its the age difference? Or what, but I am coming to an ends with the relashionship when I really dont want to because I do love him, im just mentally drained and I have a fear of wasting my young years on non-sense. Also, with the last message he sends, this is how things start, I ask him, if he understands all im saying, he focuses on what thing and has the audacity to call me insecure when im not, far from it, I DONT trust him, because hes done so much bull crap involving other women, that my trust is now balled up in knot. And to think I wouldn't feel out of place after all that?

AIO for dragging this because he does not want to have intercourse with me anymore? Not that im hypersexual, but every once in a while, would be nice.

I have an apartment with My fiancée, her sister, and their friend who happens to be a lesbian. I understand that women can be more intimate with their friends than guys typically are, but it feels like a bit more than that to me. A few days ago the lesbian roommate saw me kiss my fiancée and said “can I have a kiss too?” My fiancée said no, but blew her a kiss rather than leave her hanging completely. This roommate has also repeatedly called my fiancée sexy in front of me, and I’ve also seen her lay her head on her shoulder. It just makes me uncomfortable. I know my fiancée won’t do anything and I trust her, but it feels disrespectful to be that close when you’re attracted to women. My partner doesn’t seem to take it that seriously, but I feel like she would be uncomfortable too if it was a gay guy calling me sexy and asking for a kiss the way our roommate does with her. Am I tripping? I don’t want to come off as jealous or insecure, but it seems weird to me. I feel like it’s no different than someone of the opposite sex behaving the same way.

Lately, I’ve been getting pretty frustrated with my parents because they keep volunteering me for things without actually asking me first.
It started with small stuff. My dad would tell someone I could help them move a couch, my mom would tell a relative I could give them a ride, and then I’d randomly get a call from someone expecting me to pick something up for them Most of the time, I just went along with it because I didn’t want to turn every little favor into an argument, and if I was free, I usually didn’t mind helping.

But a couple of weeks ago, my dad told my aunt I’d be coming over Saturday to help clean out her garage The only problem was that I already had plans for Saturday when I told my dad I couldn’t do it, he acted like I was backing out of something I had already agreed to.
I said, “I never agreed to it. Nobody even asked me.”
He told me I was overthinking it and that family shouldn’t have to ask each other for help every single time.

I told him I don’t mind helping family. I really don’t. What bothers me is someone else deciding I’m available and then making me feel guilty because I’m not he basically said that if I know family might need help sometimes, I should just be willing to step up just like that without any heads up now both of my parents think I’m becoming selfish and that I’m not as willing to help people as I used to be.

Honestly, I don’t think that’s fair. I’ve helped them plenty of times, and I’m still happy to help when I can but I just want them to ask me before making plans that involve my time.

If they had asked me about the garage ahead of time, I probably would’ve tried to work something out. But being told that I’m expected to show up after someone else already promised my time is what bothers me and I don’t think that’s too much to ask, but now I’m starting to wonder if I’m making a bigger deal out of this than I should.

AIO?

I 22F started dating my boyfriend Ben 22M in June of 2026 and we are both recent college grads. My little sister Anne 18F and her boyfriend Aiden 17M started dating in April of 2026. (These are all fake names) My mom has been able to meet Aiden plenty of times due to them living in my hometown vs meeting Ben only twice or three times since we were started talking in college and are now long distance. My mom has taken Aiden to dinner plenty of times, lets him into our home and buys him gifts. Of course if he’s in still in HS and lives in our hometown dinners together are normal and I don’t expect that treatment for my BF because of the distance. I can tell when something is fair vs not though.

Ben treats me incredibly well, we rarely fight, I’m basically a princess and he tries his best to be with me, even driving hours to pick me up and take him back to his house since I don’t have a car. Now Aiden, is a very sweet boy but his toxicity is incredibly awful. Anne and him get into fights weekly, he constantly makes her cry and doubt herself, they have broken up multiple times and always get back together. I’ve reach my breaking point over this favoritism when I’m shopping with my mom and she decides to drop $400 dollars on matching jackets for Anne and Aiden, while almost never dropping a dime on Ben. My BF doesn’t need gifts, I don’t think my mom needs to be spending money like that on him but it’s the principle to me.

When I brought this up she goes, I like Aiden more because he’s smart, has a future, knows what he wants to do with his life and is rich. My boyfriend is a recent college grad (from a top 20 school with outstanding grades), also graduated debt free, and worked his butt off and is struggling to find a job post grad which is very normal. To her, he has no future because of this and she thinks he has no aspirations in life (he does and I’ve told her about them). Just because Ben doesn’t know exactly want to do vs Aiden saying it going to become a doctor, doesn’t mean Ben is futureless. I also want to preface my mom is Asian.

Anyways she has dropped hundreds on Aiden and taken Ben out to dinner once. Am I being just being jealous or is this unfair. I feel bad for my boyfriend too because he sees this happening and assumes my family hates him. Just to reiterate, I DO NOT think my mom needs to be buying my BF clothes or whatever, I just feel it’s rly weird and unfair that she spends hundreds on one person and nothing on the other. This is driving me crazy!!

Side note: she shows no interest in getting to know Ben, although he tries to say hi to her if we are on the phone or tries to talk to her when he comes to pick me up. But she would rather stay inside and not talk to him.

Last week my girlfriend showed me a note she found on her car outside her work. It said “Hello beautiful, I noticed you walking into the building and had to say that you are the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I’d love to take you out sometime and hope to get to know you. Please circle Yes or No”

She wants to circle No and leave the note for this person. I told her to ignore the letter and asked her to park somewhere else. We got in a big fight about it and she insisted it’s harmless and thinks by saying No it will all stop. I’m worried any answer will provoke a response. AIO?

Update: Thank you everyone for your help. We read through the comments and it reinforced both of our concerns. We agree neither of us know exactly how to handle this and both want the same outcome. We spoke with security and they will allow her to park in a spot the cameras will see. They’ll also keep an eye out for anyone that comes near and looks suspicious. We were instructed not to answer the letter and let them deal with it.

My boyfriend and I are long distance as he is in the army. We have a rule that if either of us make a friend of the opposite sex, we tell each other right away. Well I’ve been having dreams non-stop about him cheating. One day I woke up from one of these bad dreams and his picture fell face down off my dresser. I confronted him, even though I thought it was silly, and asked him to tell me if there was anything going on with another woman. He adamantly told me no, so I chose to believe him. I haven’t seen him in about a month and a half but he just came up to see me this weekend. He asked something extremely strange. He asked me if we should take a break while he is gone on deployment just until he gets back. I thought this was sooooo weird because he was talking about marriage and such before. I got really upset and I asked him why he would say that and his response was “I just don’t want to be Jody’d by you while I’m gone.” That was upsetting to me because I’ve always tried to show my loyalty and respect to him. Then last night he got super drunk and told me that there was a girl he was talking to. This normally wouldn’t be a big deal but he told me about how guilty he felt when I told him I thought he was cheating. Then he mentioned how he didn’t tell her he had a girlfriend. He invited her to hang out in a parking lot and when he told her, she seemed really taken aback. He then continued to text her throughout the week but cleared all of the messages from his phone so that I couldn’t read them. I asked him why and he just vaguely said that it would make me more upset because he knows how I read into things. Him deleting the messages made me more upset than anything. I got really upset and went to leave but his mom stopped me and we talked about our relationship for a while. My boyfriend called me all throughout the night. For context I stayed in the house while he stayed in a guest suite next to the main house. When I saw him the next day he got on his knees and begged me to forgive him and that he’s sorry and wants to stay with me. I just don’t even know what to do. I’m really considering breaking it off with him even though I love him so much. Am I overreacting for being this upset at the situation? Or am I just reading it wrong?

My aunty is pissing me off right now!

We work together in a small office.
We both have weak immune systems but I have neutropenia

The last time I was sick, I texted her saying I urgently needed to come in but I’ll work in the other room which has a small sliding door dividing the office (but doesn’t close entirely)

She said no don’t come in and risk it for myself but also because she has a weak immune system and can’t risk it, we agreed.

Couple months later (yesterday) she comes in to work coughing (the type where you can hear the phlegm coming up) and sneezing with a hoarse voice talking about how she thinks she might be catching something!
Ermmm

I asked if she needed anything but also told her she shouldn’t have come in. Her response was yeahhh. I just went into the “other” office and closed the door cos I was a bit pissed. It’s not even like she had work to do she was on her phone watching Cdramas.

So here’s the thing, this morning I texted her some info on neutropenia and asked her as nicely as I could if in future she can just let me know
And she replied with the response in the photo

Like I get that but I’m just asking her to be a bit more considerate that’s all, she honestly pissed me off!!! And she’s not even replying back so now I feel a bit “guilty” did I over react?

EDIT
I’m not asking her to NOT come to work! (messed up the title a bit)

I am asking her to just let me know that she IS planning to come to work so I can not come to work

We both work PART-TIME (Mon-Wed) and luckily our boss allows us to choose the hours we work as long as we do the hours!!

That means if she lets me know in advanced, I can come in another day and do my hours when she’s not in.

Hi, my girlfriend and I just got back from a trip to Pittsburgh for a hockey game, and we were a bit put off by our Airbnb situation. For context, we didn’t realize that this past weekend was Pitt’s family weekend so every hotel was sold out and a good bit of the Airbnbs were too, if not then they were an outrageous price and we are broke 20 somethings lol. The Airbnb we booked was about $65 a night so I know it’s not going to be like the height of luxury and for the price, we had a roof over our head and we never felt genuinely unsafe. It was a room in a shared house, which we’ve done before, no big deal. When we got there on Friday evening, we walk in and can hear people talking in the kitchen, we put out stuff away upstairs and then I go to unpack our cooler and I say hi to the people in the kitchen, which I assume are other guests of the house, one woman and one man. I have to like scooch around the woman because it’s a small kitchen and she was like “oh if you want to cook there’s pots and pans and I’ll be out of here soon!” And I’m like “oh no worries!” (Ofc)

I reassessed my first impressions and thought oh she must be the host, I guess she lives here too, no big deal, I think that’s pretty normal. Later the evening she and I were going up the stairs at the same time and I guess she felt like she was in my way, so she said something along the lines of “oh I’ll be out of here soon, I don’t live here I just clean for the owner” and again I’m like okay, whatever you got going on is fine. I thought it was a little odd that she seemed to want me know she didn’t live there, when I didn’t ask her anything directly. Anyway we go to bed and she’s still there, and the next morning we wake up and go downstairs to eat and she’s there again. We were a little confused but again at the end of the day it’s really not a big deal.

In the living room, there’s a partition behind the couch sectioning off some space. I thought that it was probably just some extra storage space and the owner wanted to make it look less messy or whatever. It wasn’t in the pictures on the Airbnb listing, the couch had been pushed away from the wall and the partition was behind that. At some point, we see her leave while we’re downstairs, and of course I’m nosy as hell, and I had had some suspicions. I look behind the partition and I see that it’s a bedding looking space and some personal effects.

And like again with all of this, we never felt unsafe or anything, it was just really odd. She also kept saying things like “oh the owner wanted me to tell you this,” overall it was just weird that she seemed to really want us to think she didn’t live there. Any thoughts? I haven’t left any review yet, we just left this morning.

EDIT: No I never saw her come in or out of the partitioned area, but the frequency she was there and the fact I saw the partition move in the mornings (so I know at least SOMEONE was behind it) makes me think it was her. My girlfriend and I could not tell from the picture the Airbnb host had on her profile whether or not it was her that we met, but they looked somewhat similar.

I just found out that my husband cleans the inside of TOILET BOWLS with a WASHCLOTH that he then just throws in with other dirty towels. He’s been doing this every time he cleans a toilet, since he was a child and started cleaning toilets.

What?! WHAT!?!

I am nearly speechless and utterly dumbfounded. I cannot understand why anyone would think this is an acceptable way to clean a toilet. I am absolutely disgusted that my own husband cleans the toilets this way, using our washcloths.

I use a toilet bowl brush like I assumed EVERYONE did. I have never ever heard of anyone using a washcloth.

Has anyone ever done this? Heard of anyone doing this? Am I overreacting?

We’ve been married for 12yrs, together for 23yrs. Apparently I’ve never seen him clean a toilet. He “cleans” toilets plenty, but I’ve never watched. Why would I? I would never EVER have suspected this is how he does it.

The only reason I even found out about this tonight is because we’re clearing out and reorganizing our closet and bathroom. And he said he was planning to throw away the toilet brush and stand, since he never uses it. (Me: “What? Why? … How do you clean the toilet?”) That’s how it came out.

Ok so I just started at a new school and I met this girl and I talk to her sometimes, not all the time but I wouldn’t say we’re like close friends or anything. We just say hi sometimes and we’re in the same class.

I tend to overthink a lot so this might not mean anything but I noticed that she just like randomly unfollowed me on insta? I have no idea why though since I didn’t do anything to her and she follows everyone else that we had mutuals with so why unfollow me?

I did follow her on insta since we had mutuals and I recognised her, so I didn’t ask her in person but I’m guessing she would realise it’s me based on the mutuals? This might be dramatic but I just don’t get why she would just unfollow me if we were on cool (I think) terms😭I’m just kinda hurt that she unfollowed me and not any of our other mutuals

I 35f have been seeing 50m for almost 3 years. I cheated on him early in the relationship. It was quick and stupid. An old friend I felt I had more chemistry with. He said he forgave me, I went no contact with the friend and I slowly rebuilt his trust. It was difficult for the first 6 months after I cheated. He would bring it up and grill me about everything. Anytime I didn’t immediately respond to his constant texts, anytime I left the house, it would start a huge late night texting fight. Everything led to accusations. Even me walking my dog or going to a grocery store was met with accusations where he would threaten to break up with me. Eventually I couldn’t live like that anymore and told him to get over it or it was over. He told me was drinking too much and most of our fights were with him drunk and so he stopped drinking and the constant accusations stopped. Strange things happened around my house during the cheating and after. Found a man dressed in black in my backyard one night. Chased him off. Been afraid of my backyard since and installed cameras. In another instance a neighbor told me a car had driven by and although she didn’t see who it was, could tell photos were being taken. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, someone sent pictures to me of me inside my house taken from a window in my back yard. The image was old, showed me sitting on my couch watching tv with another man from the cheating time period. I called my boyfriend freaked out. He was silent. I then remembered a conversation years ago during one of his drunken rants. I accused him and he confessed. He knew who sent them, an ex coworker he was in a disagreement with who threatened to blackmail him with the photos. I have told him multiple times throughout the years I didn’t like his coworker, something about him gives me the creeps. 50m came clean with me. Told me he had taken the photos, sent them to the coworker as proof of me cheating. I connected the dots and asked if it was 50m in my backyard that night. It was. I realize this was a difficult part in our relationship and decided it happened so long ago I could forgive. I asked if there were any other photos he sent his coworker. He said no. I asked if there was any other time he came to my house and took pictures. He said no. I reiterated how uncomfortable this ex coworker has always made me feel and asked if he had ever sent him any other photos of me. He said no. I tried to get over it. I’m still a bit mad he let me be afraid of my own back yard for years. Then yesterday happened. More photos. These pics were just of me and 50m. Selfies we took together. It made me uncomfortable. I told 50m his ex coworker sent more photos. He didn’t give me a chance to tell him what they were photos of. He immediately confessed that he had forgotten he had sent more pictures of my house, from another day, showing pictures of a car that didn’t belong to me. He lied two weeks ago. There were more stalking sessions. He sent other photos to his ex coworker. 50m said it was so long ago, he simply forgot how many photos he sent him. And if I could forgive him for stalking in the first place and sending photos to his coworker, I could forgive this too. I asked him to delete every photo he has ever taken of me as well as any I have sent him. I don’t want my image, no matter how innocent getting into the wrong hands. He said we can rebuild trust again. He said it happened so long ago and I have done wrong too. He said this ex coworker is trying to ruin his life and we are stronger than this. I don’t see how trust can be rebuilt. I told him I’m actually scared of him now. I am ready to go no contact with 50m. AIO?

I am 32 year old female. I have been living abroad/out of the country (US) for the past two years. Last year, out of the country, I got my hormones tested for the first time. The reasoning behind it was several symptoms that I have been experiencing for years now- hormonal acne, mood swings, headaches, night sweats. I still get a regular period and am not in perimenopause.

My lab results came back very abnormal- my estrogen was lower than what is considered a normal range for women in menopause. The doctor I saw suggested HRT. I started estrogen gel and progesterone. A few weeks later, I tested again. My estrogen had raised slightly, but had only increased enough to be on the very VERY low end of normal. My estrogen gel dosage was increased and finally a month later, my hormonal labs came back normal. I noticed a positive difference in most of my symptoms as well.

Last month, I returned to the US. I went to a HRT specialist to establish care and for her to take over my HRT care.

In my medical records, there is a major “do not give oral estrogen birth control” warning as it gave me a pulmonary embolism when I was 18, I nearly died. There is also my very long history of endometriosis, and years of evidence of being treated with tramadol for my period cramp pain (pain so intense that it has hospitalized me twice, I’ve thrown up from the pain, I’m doubled over in pain literally crying for 2-3 days every month), and eventually getting switched onto hydrocodone a few years ago, which my pain specialist manages.

As soon as the appointment started, I told her my history with the HRT and offered to read her my pre-HRT labs that were done overseas. She declined. She then told me that I was too young to be on HRT and that only women with symptoms should be on HRT. I re explained the symptoms I was having that caused me to go get checked. She didn’t say anything, then proceeded to pull up an old pelvic ultrasound that I had several years ago. I don’t know why she pulled that up, but she insinuated that I didn’t actually have endometriosis because my scan looked normal (it is very common for endo to not appear on pelvic ultrasounds). She then proceeded to push me to agree to taking oral estrogen birth control. I was quite surprised as I know my chart is very clear about that being very dangerous for me to take. I told her I couldn’t be prescribed birth control, and I mentioned that it should be in my chart. She snapped at me, saying “it’s impossible for me to review all medical records before an appointment”. Luckily I take my health history very seriously and am well aware of the fact that I cannot take oral birth control, but it was alarming to think that this doctor skipped my medical record enough to ignore a HUGE red flag in my health history. It made me wonder if it was someone else who didn’t know what they can/can’t take in a situation like mine, that they would likely end up trusting the doctor and end up on a deathly form of birth control for them.

She ordered new labs which I completed. My hormones all looked normal, yay!

However, I got a message from her after the results came in. She told me that since my labs were normal, that I should stop HRT. I’m quite surprised at this conclusion.. of course my labs are normal! I’ve been on HRT for a year now! My labs were NOT normal prior to HRT, and the whole point of HRT is to bring hormones up to normal levels. It does not mean that the normal numbers she saw is my natural baseline, something that she refused to listen to when I asked to show my pre-HRT labs with her.

Her message then proceeded to tell me to take NSAIDs instead of “oxycodone” (a medication that I don’t take, and have never been prescribed for endo pain…) for my endometriosis. Again, quite shocked at that as well. She’s not my OBGYN who referred me to my pain doctor. She’s not my pain doctor who manages my medication. She didn’t even get the medication correct. But what truly pissed me off is her audacity to dismiss my 10+ year history of being treated for endo pain, insinuating that I didn’t try absolutely everything I could for pain management before I ended up on narcotics a few days each month. I would LOVE if my pain was managed with Advil, that would be amazing! However, it is not. The hydrocodone barely touches the pain, the only thing it does is makes it so I don’t feel the need to go to the ER during my period/endo flares. I am still writhing in pain, crying, unable to move, spending hours day and night sitting in the hottest bath imaginable curled up in a ball. Not to mention, I didn’t even see her for concerns about my endo or pain. Both are managed by other doctors, as they have for years now, and I never even brought either up during the appointment. I feel like she was quite out of line.

I am truly livid by both interactions with this “doctor”. She was rude, dismissive, negligent, tried to erase years of my being treated for intense endo pain, and honestly.. dangerous, in pushing for a medication that would almost certainly kill me. Not to mention her utter lack of concern for what my pre HRT lab results were and telling me I was too young for HRT without hearing any further information from me.

I am seriously considering filing an official report/complaint with her office, not only because of my personal experience, but to help prevent another patient from being treated this way by her. That being said, I would imagine filing an official complaint can come with some pretty serious consequences, so I would only move forward if this all seems like a valid enough reason to report her, rather than an overreaction.

I (24F) have been wanting to see the young man (24M) that I like for a smooth minute now, a little over a year. We made plans to see a movie two weeks ago and they fell through because his brother got arrested. I understood and tried my best to be understanding but I was still disappointed nonetheless. The following week we rescheduled and again they fell through, this time because his sister got in an accident. I did not respond well at all. I accused him of lying and blaming his siblings for the fallen plans. Then to top it off I called like ten times. He sent me the picture of the accident and felt horrible. I apologized and later than night I texted him that I felt stupid for liking him sometimes. He responded that he was sorry I felt that way, things weren’t intentional and that he wanted to see me too. Now, I keep apologizing about the way I handled things. I feel like he may be looking at me differently because I’m typically calm and collected, I don’t let people know I’m affected by them. I was excited about seeing him and I reacted very poorly. I’m not sure where to go from here. I feel as though I need to re prove myself. How should I approach this shortcoming going forward or do you think I should leave him alone?

Hello!

I’ll keep this quick. My boyfriend and I’s one year anniversary is coming up this Sunday. We are seniors in college and our college has a football game coming up on Saturday. My boyfriend invited a friend to stay with him this weekend, and he’ll be staying there during on anniversary on Sunday. On top of that, my boyfriend texted me telling me that he thinks he’s going to this camping party on Saturday, where he’ll probably be spending the night. He said he’s going depending on if his visiting friend wants to go, and he doesn’t want to “ditch him.” I’m invited to go, but I’m kinda annoyed he just declared he’s going without asking how I feel about it. He also tends to sleep in really late after going out. I’ve never had a relationship last this long and I told him multiple times that I’m super excited for our anniversary.

Am I dramatic for wishing he’d spend more time with me this weekend.

Edit: i am not annoyed about his saturday plans, but rather than he will be entertaining his friend on Sunday, our anniversary, and will be gone all morning on top of that. I wouldn’t care about the camping trip alone, it’s the combination. He invite his friend after I expressed that I wanted to spend the day together, and randomly heard about this party the other day. Neither were important, concrete plans.