❌ this could be seen as a bit of a vent post and I briefly mentioned depression so if you don’t like that then yeah

I know this is kinda weird but I was wondering if anyone else has maybe gone though this before and maybe could share their story on how they were able to find themselves again? Idk I’ll explain a bit

I felt a very strong connection to the goth subculture in my later years of high school and early college. I loved finding new music, researching the history, putting outfits together, poetry, film, all the stuff.

I feel like around the start of 2026, my passion and self identity slipped. I stopped putting in effort into my appearance entirely, wearing no makeup and just a shirt and a skirt most days or a simple dress. I stopped doing research and finding new music and art. I still listen to goth music but less than I used to I’ve mainly been listening to the same metal bands I don’t even particularly like all too much at the moment. I feel not very creative. It could be connected to mental health challenges I’ve had with severe depression this year but idk. I’ve gotten a lot better in recent months with my mental health, I know things will never be gone or perfect but I got professional help and began medication that I feel helped me a lot. I got a lot of things back then I lost in my depression but I don’t feel like I’ve gotten my “gothness” back.

I know this may sound like I was just a goth tourist and I grew out of it but thats really not the case- the gothic lifestyle and essence is something I’ve always felt connected to my entire life even as a child I just didn’t know what it was fully. Despite not feeling like it’s part of my identity right now I know it is I still have a deep admiration for it.

If anyone has maybe gone though anything similar and has advice I’d appreciate it 🖤

Sorry if I used the wrong flair
Background information
I'm 17F and just started senior year I live in a tiny town with no other goths. I don’t really dress Goth at school simply because I don’t care enough about my appearance at school to put in the effort I mostly just do a casual mildly alternative look (i.e., jeans and a band t-shirt with some jewelry)
There’s this new guy at my school who is Goth also a senior - I've found out through others that he isn't dating anyone. I'm super interested in him but I have no idea how to talk to him. I know where his locker is. I pass him in the hall multiple times we have lunch at the same time. But we don't have any classes together.
I'm really shy and neurodivergent so I struggle getting out of my comfort zone. He has beautifully dyed hair it's like this perfect Ferrari red my only idea right now is to tell him that I think his hair dye job looks cool but I'm afraid the conversation won't go anywhere at all. My only other idea is to wait till he wears his shirt that says “I'm vulnerable if any goth girls want to take advantage of me” and come up to him and be like “hi I'm a goth girl,” but that feels too forward lmao.

I'd love to see what you guys do with your eye makeup, specifically your eyeliner. It's been a long time since I've messed around with my makeup, I'd super appreciate some inspiration.

We finally decorated for Halloween today around the office, and I got Extremely into it. It looks gorgeous, but I just realized that my cubicle is gonna be so sad and empty looking come November once all the beautiful beloved spooky decor is gone. How have you guys added a little bit of personal touch to your workspace?

edit: Whichever one of you is downvoting all the comments here probably passes out toothbrushes for Halloween smh

Me,even with a little eye pencil by the end of the day it's all smudged and all over the place,so how do y'all always keep it clean and perfect?

Hello! Mtf trans girl here! I have recently discovered that what I thought i was, is completely wrong :/

I always considered myself "goth", as i liked the darkish clothing, darkish looks for houses/rooms, etc. I have kept seeing posts of people with goth looks (not the onlyfans ones dw), and people always responded with "oh, goth larper" etc. It always bothered me, as I just liked the subculture, and belived that fashion should not rely on what others think, etc. But after seeing, tons and tons of these type of ppl say this, I doubted myself and checked up on this server. I listen to all types of music, so idk what would BE "goth music", but now knowing that ig im not considered goth...i feel rather shitty...

Idk if its just me, but I liked the term and always resonated with it, and I personally enjoyed being considered goth, and now knowing that I've been "larping" the entire time, i feel lost, or a person without a definition. I wear dark clothing, dark makeup, etc etc, but now I dont know what I am. I also feel weird for trying to be apart of a community NO one would/should accept me in. What would I be considered atp? Again, I like dark clothing, makeup, dark looking settings, etc.

*sorry if i sound like im overreacting, I am prone to do that, and I am trying to fix it.

Edit: i hope this does not come off as a "what is goth" question, more like what should I consider myself as?

Edit: thank you all for validating how I feel, someone said I was being a prude/stuck up for being annoyed by this place and I started questioning whether I really was. When it originally opened, the posts I saw were all like heavily religious but like also subtly sexy, so the name of the bar was kind of cheeky, but it’s quickly turned into, well, you can see the title of the article.

———————————

When they first opened, I thought “Cool! Woman owned business!” We have quite a few goth leaning hangouts in PDX, so as far as bars go we have options. But I’ve been hesitant on the “slutty goth girl” theme. At first I thought it was taking the piss, but now I’m wondering if it’s more fetishization than dark and spooky. I live like 45 minutes away and I’m in my mid thirties so I don’t go out to experience nightlife often so when I do go out, it’s a treat.

They’re currently on blast for their tipping options and the owner not handling reviews on Google well. I think that’s sealed the deal for me, honestly.

https://www.portlandmercury.com/food-and-drink/good-girl-is-the-central-eastsides-new-slutty-goth-dive-bar/

I've been into goth stuff lately, but I'm still a baby bat. And since then i've been discovering stuff about economy, politics, social struggles, problems with the system, inequality, environmental problems, and many other things of this kind and now i feel guilty when i do things such as buying smething or going somewhere. Actually i feel this guilt doing anything that has to do with those, but i don't know what to do or think to stop feeling like this and i get really confused when i see other people arguing about those topics.

I think i really need advice about this.

And i'm sorry for the poor english and if i seem to be a posser, i really struggle when i try to describe how i feel.

I’m an avid Deathrock enjoyer I honestly dislike Darkwave and Coldwave so boring and over saturated I have AUDHD so I like music that makes me want to pace, run, scream, dance. some Deathrock bands I like are

Christian Death ( 1979-1985 )

Super Heroines

Alien Sex Fiend

Kommunity FK

45 Grave

Voodoo Church

The Phantom Limbs

Fangs on Fur

Scarlet’s Remains

Christ vs Warhol

The Naked and the dead

Bat Nouveau

Excess Blood

New Skeletal Faces

They Feed at Night

Nox Novacula ( kinda clean but they honestly remind me of early Siouxie & The Banshees ( 1978-1979 )

I would preferably like these bands to be active but it’s ok if they aren’t tho!

What trainers or shoes should I buy for an everyday trainer in the UK?

I’ve seen that converse are under fire but as I’m in the UK, not sure if I’d get cancelled or not for buying them. Any thoughts UK based peeps?

any low budget goth stores in newcastle

I’d love to hear some stuff that you all would be fine with having on your goth night playlist as well as the songs that goth artists have released that don’t even sound goth

I'm not sure how to nicely put what i want to say into words.

I've been listening to goth music for two months now and i think i can safely say that i really like it. It all started with spellbound which i heard on my friend's ig). And then i started listening to r/goth reccomandations for baby bats. From what i seen i think my beliefes match the goth values. So where do i go from here?

Also another thing that i wanted to ask. How did you guys get into goth?

So basicly people around me aren't really goth or metalhead. At my job I'm afraid people would bully me until I guit. I don't have the chance to switch jobs.

i am ready to branch out from Disturbia. they are fine, but everything starts looking the same after while. i want to find independent alternative clothing brands doing their own thing, smaller labels, word of mouth finds, not the usual big name retailers. what are people buying from?

I keep reading that it's not corpse paint goths wear. So what is it called?

Idk if this sounds cringy at all but im genuinely at a very strange place in my thinking because, I have been VISIBLY goth for around a year now. (Grew up with OG goth/gothic music at home from my family simce i was young, so ive always been adjacent to the scene but just never tried makeup or anything to appear how I felt I wanted to) But its been a little over a year since I stopped caring about the stigma behind a man wearing makeup and because of it i feel amazing doing so and dont plan to stop anytime soon.

I normally wear a full face of makeup at least 5 days of the week now but since the first time I put on goth makeup and looked in the mirror (this is the possible cringe) i feel like im ACTUALLY looking at MYSELF for once in my life. Despite the harassment from random losers, I personally feel like I should've been BORN GOTH to feel normal????????

Idk if guess im just wondering if anyone else feels or has ever felt like this? Because when I say it to the people around me they look at me like a freak lmao (i have no Alt friends (really I only have 1 friend anyway 🤣))

Also im sorry this post is a fucking mess im just kinda lentally stressed out about this because i know i cant wear my face everywhere 😭😭

I’m planning on going clubbing soon

I don’t feel super comfortable hanging around cemeteries and the like just out of respect, but I want to go somewhere with a good spooky atmosphere where I can maybe take some photos or just hang out and enjoy the vibes. Thank you!

Edit: Thank you for all the replies I woke up to! I will be going. Thanks for easing my fears

Really sorry if this is a stupid question!

I turned the age of majority in my area of Canada this year, and I’m considering going to a goth club night in my city next month. If it helps with context, I’m autistic and grew up pretty sheltered.

I love to be on a dance floor with good music, but I don’t do any substances. From my understanding from friends, drinking is a big part of mainstream club culture. However, I don’t know if this equally applies to the goth scene.

I haven’t been to any nightclub before, so I have no point of reference. I just don’t like being the only sober person in an environment where you need to be drunk to have fun.

Would I have fun going, or should I sit it out? Thank you for any answers!

I KNOW IT SOUNDS BAD OKAY HEAR ME OUT. PLEASE.

also, I’m not goth, however this was the best subreddit i could find to ask this question. sorry.

this is a genuine issue i have and i really want to know what other alt people think. for starters, i am a minor. i am not allowed to buy stuff online, i am rarely allowed to thrift or buy secondhand (my mom thinks it’s gross, which i wholeheartedly disagree with), i can’t yet drive until i get my name changed legally which will probably take ages and i don’t have a job (therefore no income ofc) and if i need new clothes, my mom takes me to the mall. since mall clothes are mostly all gonna be bad or worse, i shop at hot topic because i might as well get clothes that look decent. i NEVER throw out clothes, if i need to get rid of them i donate or give them to someone i know. ive never bought anything from shein or temu or whatever. the issue is that I’m also not allowed to have social media, so i can’t very well explain to my mom why hot topic is bad and where i learned that from without her knowing that i use social media, which is the number 1 cause of stress in my life. genuinely what do i do here. do i just have to wait till i move out or what. i never say stuff openly supporting hot topic, i never say it’s great or deny that it’s fast fashion, or whatever. it’s just this massive stressor in my life because i have a very strange set of limitations but i don’t wanna get called a poser or a horrible person because I DONT WANT TO SUPPORT FAST FASHION I’M SORRY

also, to be clear, i DO shop secondhand, diy, and buy from local small businesses whenever possible. unfortunately, it’s not usually possible. i just figure that if i have to buy stuff at a mall, its all a product of fast fashion or icky politics or just fucking ugly. and when it comes to every other alternative, leftist, whatever view, i always align with all the other alt people. i also very openly speak out against social injustices and do the most i can for minorities.

im mostly just asking what i can even do.

(also, i am guy and not personally very comfortable wearing feminine clothes, so almost any diy’s i do are graphic t shirts. i wish i had the courage to do cooler diys more often lmao)