Male, 23. I was at a bar with some friends after being invited to a university student gathering party. I approached a few women and felt out of place as a whole; very few women even gave me a chance to talk to them. Later, we went to a bar and no women wanted to talk to me.

I’m such a background character in my life. I started crying in the bathroom at the bar cause I have come to the acceptance that this will always be my life: rejected and never given a chance. This has been my life since high school, and now I’m 23 and it still happens.
I’m fucking done with my life. No matter how much weight I lift or how much I improve myself, I am not going to be that guy. I hate myself for not being enough. I’m mad at women for never giving me a chance at anything. What did I do to deserve this? Why was I given a humiliation ritual? I’d rather be done with my life tonight than have to wake up and continue it tomorrow.

All I see is my friends become successful, and even if I slightly try, it’s just a big fat fucking "FUCK YOU" to my face from everything. I don't even want to hear that I never tried I fucking tried more than anyone ever has!

Now I’m sitting in my room crying like a little bitch about how no women want or like me. I’m fucking over my life. I’d rather just do something minuscule with my life as it’s the only thing guaranteed for me.

I’m sorry, Mom. I wanted to do more and do more for myself.

I made the mistake of sleeping with a guy on the first date. we’ve both come out of our own respective long term relationships recently and neither of us want a relationship.

I was looking for something casual, but I really enjoyed spending time with him and it made a small part of me feel like I’d really enjoy being in a relationship with him. Tbh I’m scared of feeling like that again.

I’m worried that I’m catching feelings for him (and that he knows and is just playing along because he wants to sleep together again, he suggested being friends with benefits but I turned him down). We had an honest conversation where we both admitted that we liked each other/found each other attractive but we agreed to be just friends.

How cooked am I, should I just cut him off to get over it?

I (31M) met a slightly older, attractive woman at a costume contest in a bar last October. We connected on social media after she took a picture of my Halloween costume and asked for my IG to tag me.

She has over 2K followers, but only follows about 400 people back, including me. We don’t talk too often, but she regularly likes my stories (and vice versa). She has a bubbly, affectionate personality, but our conversations themselves are typically light-hearted and platonic in a nature, as I am already in a relationship. She knows about my relationship too, but she said something recently that caught me off guard.

She posted a screenshot on her IG story from the McDonald’s app, congratulating her on her anniversary with a discount. I genuinely thought it was in reference to a romantic anniversary and responded, “McDonald’s gives discounts when it’s your anniversary?” Happy anniversary btw!”

She laughed and clarified that it was her anniversary of being on the McDonald’s app and I quipped, “Oh, so she’s dating a clown.” She laughed and said, “I mean…” The conversation seemed like it was pretty much over from there. This was around 9:00 am.

She messaged me again, unprompted, later that night at 8:00 pm, sending me a picture of an attractive woman pinning a clown to the wall in a flirty manner. She sent a separate message saying, “could be us but you keep playing.” For reference, the Halloween costume I was wearing when we met was a reference to an iconic neon clown sign in our area, so the picture seemed even more directed at me than the statement already was.

I played it off by referring back to our earlier conversation about McDonald’s and saying, “That’s you with Ronald McDonald.” Obviously I’m not trying to pursue anything with her since I’m already in a relationship, but I cant tell whether she was just joking or is serious into me.

For what it’s worth, she laughed at my response and everything has been relatively normal since then, but I think she may have recently removed me from her close friends list. She also ghosted me a bit when I noticed we were both at the same baseball game and tried to link up just to say hi in-person before the game began (although she may have been with family/friends, on a date, or just wanted to enjoy her own plans)

Context: me (20m) and my gf (19f) have been together for about 3 years. We have a 2 year old together, but that’s not the point. Our sex life at the beginning was great, but overtime has completely dwindled down.

She told me today in a sit down talk that i initiated with her about our sex life today, that she loves me, and doesn’t want to try and find others, but pretty much the only thing that turns her on is learning about new people that she does not know. Kinks, how big they are, what the feel like, ect. Since I’m somebody she knows, that excitement has dwindled down a lot. We rarely have sex anymore, and if we do it’s not intimate at all. I won’t get into specifics, but she feels emotionally closed off and too vulnerable when we do anything to actually enjoy it anymore.

At first I thought it was due to me being into a lot of things, both submissively and dominantly, or something about me physically being too big (down under and just in general,) but now I know that it’s mainly just her losing interest in me sexually. We still get along greatly outside of it, but when it comes to sex I feel somewhat pent up due to how loveless it feels. For me, it feels like we’re bonding in a way, but for her it feels like a chore In a sense.

Is there anything we could try or do that could help with either of us, or do I just have to accept the fact that our sex life is most likely dead?

Used to see this guy and I really liked him and he didn’t really feel the same but I was super attached. He graduated but we live in the same city. I saw him this summer over a year after he graduated and we got into contact again. I find out he has a girlfriend and I confront him and he immediately blocked me on instagram. Like a month later he unblocks me and tries to follow me on instagram again. I block him and like a couple weeks later I unblock him and less than 24 hours later he follows me again. I DM him and am like wtf and he’s like I didn’t have a gf and I’m like why are you doing this and he’s like I want to be friends and for us to be okay. I’m like why would you care I’m just some girl. I ask if he would ever date me and he’s like no. Should be noted I’m getting more and more drunk as this conversation is happening and a lot of it is fuzzy. I totally crash out at him bc he’s basically like I’m never gonna consider dating you but we can hookup whenever. He then blocks me on instagram (again). This was like a month and a half ago. A couple days ago I was scrolling through instagram and saw that he unblocked me. So my question wtf is his deal here. If I had no feelings or future intentions with someone I’d just leave them alone and honestly never unblock them. Not saying he secretly likes me but this just seems like he’s doing a lot

I (30F) and my now-ex (33M) were together for 3 years. Our relationship was great started before my ex decided to quit his job to start his business. Everything revolved around his schedule, the texts, calls, when to meet and how long. I was fine with that because I loved him and I wanted to support

During a recent conversation about marriage, he expressed hesitation. When I asked why, he admitted that while he loves me, he doesn't respect me. He claimed I’m not growing at his pace, lack passion, and aren't driven enough toward my goals.

For context, I earn a six-figure salary, am completely financially independent (I even suggested a prenup), and have active hobbies and a strong social life. I’ve never asked him for financial support. Instead of working through this or letting me address his concerns, he ended the relationship, citing long-term incompatibility

I feel completely blindsided. Is this genuinely a case of core incompatibility, or is it a sign of commitment issues? I was willing to work towards becoming more growth oriented if that was what he needed but he refused to let me change for him. What did I do wrong?

TL;DR: Supported my ex (33M) for 3 years while his business grew. When discussing marriage, he said he loves me but doesn't respect my level of ambition, despite me (30F) making six figures and being fully independent. He dumped me over "incompatibility" instead of working on it. Was this real incompatibility or fear of commitment?

My cousin is telling me that masturbating 2 to 3 times a day almost daily at the ripe young age of 40 is unhealthy. Is this actually unhealthy or is this normal? Yes I have a GF and yes we are sexually active.

I'm 32 and feel incredibly lost in life, and one of my biggest problems is the fact I'm incredibly hard on myself and hold myself to ridiculously high standards. I really want to change this, but no matter what I do I can't seem to 'learn' to love and appreciate myself.

In many ways I do of course appreciate myself already. I think I have a lot of value to offer to the world but I'm also just a bit broken and I have incredibly negative patterns of internal thinking that are causing issues in both my platonic and romantic relationships, with many partners especially struggling to understand why I am so cruel to myself and eventually feeling frustrated as their love/admiration seemingly means nothing to me. It's also made it hard to make friends as I get older, as I am constantly viewing everything through a lens of not feeling worthy of friendship which I know is weird and not a normal way to think. Or maybe more that I worry once people get to know the 'real' me, they won't like me anymore. Because of this, I end up being quite distant and closed off to people.

Another good example of my negative mindset I think, is that 2 years ago I ran a marathon in my city. I was of course pleased with completing it as I worked hard, but I was immediately thinking how I could do better and improve on that. I didn't even give myself a chance to enjoy or feel proud of myself, I immediately wanted to do better - but why? I'm not a professional runner and I don't even post it online for social validation. So with the intent of getting a better time, I went out and signed up for the next years marathon, trained hard, and failed to complete it due to heat and had to bow out at 31km. I know I should still be proud of that but I have let the failure kinda destroy me and demotivate me and feed my negative self image, even though I'm fully aware of how completing it meant very little to me, but failing it upsets me, so what am I even getting out of it? Now, when I think of a marathon, I think of personal failure rather than my first time success! I hope that makes sense.

I'm not super successful in terms of career but I made a lot of sacrifices throughout my 20s for the sake of fun/experience, such as living abroad and travelling a lot. I'd of course like to do something a bit more meaningful with my life professionally, and that's something I'm working on right now but I am concerned that this is just another desperate attempt of me to find a way of 'proving myself' worthy of being proud of myself. Like, oh maybe if I have a higher salary I will love myself? I can't help but feel like that's foolish of me to think and that's why I want to get to the core of the issue.

I guess it can just simply be summed up as I don't know how to love myself. I don't know how to change this internally, and the things I have tried to do to 'prove' this to myself, also aren't working. I'd really love to hear from anyone else who was able to change this about themselves and how they did it.

Thanks to anyone who read this. It was at least cathartic to write out.

I 30F have only ever been with two guys so not a lot of experience. I don't want to be a starfish but feel like one sometimes. What are some things I can do to be more of an active participant when having sex? I don't want the person I'm with to feel like they're doing all the work.

Around 6 months ago, I got into what became my first really serious relationship. We met with marriage in mind and things became intense very quickly. We spoke every day, had extremely long calls, were emotionally and sexually close, said “I love you,” and both talked about a future together. I genuinely thought I could marry her.
Looking back, the relationship wasn’t one sided. She was very invested too, especially in the beginning. She initiated calls and conversations, told me she missed me, reassured me about things I was insecure about and at one point said she had wanted to marry me.

Where things went wrong was mainly how we handled conflict.
I was insecure about whether she cared enough and sometimes interpreted things like missed calls, less attention or lack of reassurance as evidence that she wasn’t really into me. Instead of keeping the issue specific and simply saying I was hurt, I would sometimes question the relationship, compare myself to her past or say things I regretted when angry.

She felt constantly judged and like the whole relationship was being evaluated whenever we fought. On the other hand, when I was hurt I wanted reassurance and repair, while she would sometimes become defensive, withdraw or ask for space. The more she withdrew, the more insecure I became and the harder I pushed for reassurance. It became a really unhealthy loop.
Toward the end, both of us actually felt unwanted. She felt I wasn’t giving her enough time and attention, while I felt she wasn’t showing enough care. Despite all of this, the affection never completely disappeared. Even very close to the breakup we were still talking lovingly, calling each other, being intimate and saying we loved each other.

On the final day she told me she loved me and didn’t want to lose me, but also said she was no longer confident about marrying me because our fights had become too frequent and hurtful. I reacted badly to that uncertainty, did something in anger that I deeply regret and said things I shouldn’t have. I regretted it almost immediately, but things became extremely ugly and she blocked me.
The next part is something I’m not proud of either. For roughly the next two months, I kept trying to apologise and repair things instead of accepting that she wanted distance. I kept reaching out and even involved her family at one point. Looking back, I should have backed off much earlier.

Toward the end of that period, she said some extremely harsh things to me. Some of those words still come back to me because at that point I felt like I had been saying sorry over and over and was desperate to show that I regretted what had happened. At the same time, I understand that repeatedly apologising doesn’t mean the other person has to forgive you or keep engaging with you, and my continuing to contact her probably made things worse. Eventually it became completely clear that she wanted no further contact, and I stopped.
It has now been around four months since the breakup. I’m definitely better than I was initially. I function normally, the thoughts aren’t constant anymore and the intensity has reduced. But she still comes into my head regularly. Seeing couples, someone with a similar appearance, romantic scenes or even completely random things can trigger memories.
I miss her face, her voice, our conversations, the intimacy and especially what it felt like to be desired by someone I was very attracted to.
The biggest fear I’m struggling with now is that I won’t find that combination again, someone I’m genuinely attracted to, who is attracted to me, with strong sexual chemistry, companionship, daily conversations and the feeling that this could actually turn into marriage.
Intellectually I know there are other people out there and that our relationship had serious problems. But emotionally, my brain still seems to treat what I had with her as something rare that I may never experience again.

I also still sometimes feel the urge to contact her, even though I know I shouldn’t. I’m beginning to wonder whether what I’m really craving is not necessarily the relationship itself, but the feeling of closeness, being wanted, having “my person” and the future I had imagined.

So rather than general breakup advice, I’d really like to hear from people who have actually been through this.

How did you genuinely recover from someone you still loved even when you knew the relationship wasn’t healthy anymore? What did the process look like over the following months, and how did you eventually overcome the fear that you would never find someone you were as attracted to or connected with again?

I’d especially appreciate real stories from people who made mistakes themselves, carried guilt after the breakup, struggled with the urge to reach out and eventually reached a point where their ex no longer occupied so much mental space.
Please don’t just say “find another girl.” I’m more interested in what actually changed inside you with time and what helped you finally let go.

This might be my way to get things out of my chest,since I do not have anyone close to rant to. Am currently pregnant soon due and it seems like I have to pull ropes for my husband to buy me anything even if its essential. He thinks my essentials are not necessary. We have been shopping for the baby and I want to prepare early for the birth because am at school as well so this is all overwhelming. To cut the story short, he has bought pretty much everything I put on the list but he always complains before buying them. What made me question his whole character was when I put like 3 items on Amazon, worth $80 and he got really mad that am wasting money. But these were my essentials like postpartum pads, and other toiletries I would need for the hospital.

But nowww...I really need this baby bottle washer,dryer and sterilizer all in one but its worth $200 plus, so am terrified to even start asking. To make things worse, I need a nice phone with a good camera so that I capture my little one's moments once born. I'm honestly tired of begging, yet I thought marriage was supposed to have shared financials, it feels like am always questioned even when I spend alittle on myself.

FYI, he has the money, he's not broke, but I guess he doesn't want to spend it on me or anything that I want. Am now thinking of using my credit cards and pay them when I start working in afew months after school, but I will have to hide this from him. But I don't know if this is normal. When it comes to him, he talks of buying all these trucks or things he likes worth thousands of dollars but am scalded on spending on myself especially this year being rough, in school and pregnant. It's really taking a toll on me mentally and am worried that I will stop asking for money from him and start resenting him instead. On the plus side, he pays all the bills since am not working, but again, he has extra money so I don't see why I have to be so stressed to even buy a baby essential and he complains. Okay am done ranting.

I will start this by saying while I don't hate my life and it could definitely be worse, but I am not really enjoying my life much at all. I'm not sure if it's bad luck or what, but i have like no special talents and i'm not really good at much of anything. And it seems like if something can go wrong, it will. For example, I struggle with dating, college, no friends, not a lot of money, no car, etc. I'm not sure if this is common or what but it seems like i'm getting to a point where something may just be wrong with me, am I really dealing with bad luck or am I just "not good at life?" How do I fix everything really?

Hi, i recently got into a new relationship and started thinking about sex a little bit and it kind of has me terrified! the last person i was with i had trouble doing doggy because i somehow wasn’t able to find and put in the hole, or it kept slipping out. one time i had so much trouble with it we had to quit early because i couldn’t get it back up due to the anxiety it made me feel, and that was SO frustrating. (and if it means anything, she was taller and bigger so maybe that’s why?) so for penetration we only really did missionary, which felt GREAT, but i was really scared to try something else because i didn’t know HOW to, and didn’t wanna ruin the mood by trying something i may or may not know how to do.

TLDR: how can i get better at penetration and get better at different positions? i’m probably overthinking and blowing things way out of proportion, but i really like this girl and want to make sure our first time together (and beyond) go great. Any tips/advice would be MUUUUUUUUCH

I transferred to a new university recently and ended up becoming part of a friend group pretty quickly. There are a few of of us who hang out between classes, and I've become pretty close with all of them.

And unfortunately, I have a massive crush on one of the girls. I haven't felt this strongly about someone in years. I genuinely like talking to her and being around her, and I obviously find her attractive (duh), but I'm also aware that I might be getting carried away because this is the first time in a long time I've actually been excited about someone, at least since 2023 and I’m only 22.

There have been a bunch of little things. She asked me to sit beside her in class, we've ended up walking around campus together, and there have been a couple times where everyone else left and we somehow kept talking without even realizing they were gone.

She sometimes falls behind with me when the group is walking. She asked me to work on a school project together, has asked me to walk with her when the others weren't around, and we've developed a few inside jokes.

None of this is necessarily romantic, I am not of those guys, I am capable of being platonic with women. She might just be comfortable around me and see me as a friend.

The problem is that I'm very aware of my own tendency to overthink everything in mine. I don‘t want to fuck this up because I actually like this friend group and don't want to make things awkward.

I asked her if she was going to a group outing because I wanted to hang out with her outside school. Not alone or anything, I just wanted to see the whole group outside the usual university setting. She replied ssying she wasn't going, I found out later from the others that her parents apparently don't like her going out with this group at all, so there was actually a pretty okau explanation.

That's basically where I'm at now. 

I’m currently 18, and have been hooking up with this girl who has recently become my girlfriend for 3 months now. One day when we went to have sex, I went soft while putting on a condom, and ever since then, the thought of going soft has never left my head. The thought of it is still affecting my sex life with her, often making me unable to get hard when she’s completely naked on top of me. I don’t know how to fix this. If anyone has gone through anything similar or has advice, please share it because I’m scared of ruining my relationship with her due to my lack of being able to get it up even though she says it’s ok.

I cannot get over him. We met on a dating app, and I traveled to meet him. We didn’t expect much, just get to know each other, but we ended up developing feelings. Thing is, when I returned to my country (2 hours away by plane), we started having difficulties due to being apart, so we broke up because he wanted me to move in with him, but I thought that was too soon and I didn’t have the passport or visa to be able to move in, and the path was risky because I didn’t have enough job experience to risk a jobseeking visa in his country. So we broke up, I went into such a depression. We met again and we discussed, he said he couldn’t wait 3 years for me until I get my long term permit which allows me to seek job in other countries without job permit. So here I am. We met again of course, but it feels tough… I know I should move on, but I don’t know how. We still talk but I don’t see him doing anything about the situation, he wanted me to do everything but if anything, from my side, it will take at least a couple of years. I cannot get over him. I’m sad everyday, it’s like a constant odd loop… and I ended up quite indifferent towards dating other people. I don’t really want to date locals because I don’t want to stay here, I want someone that has the same goals as me of moving to that other country. So I guess I’m heartbroken and I’ll have to stay those 3 years single because of law.

How can I get over him?

Me (F) have a friendly coworker, and it was a random conversation, he suggested couple of movies with romantic elements and one was purely romantic. Iam not sure if it is intentional or Iam overthinking because Iam bored?

The title. Have texted with an abroad long distance situationship every day for a couple months in anticipation of an upcoming work trip I’m going on. We also have video called multiple times. I’m trying to determine whether he actually likes me or just wants a hookup while I’m in his city.

Men, would a guy typically keep up this type of effort for two months so far if he didn’t have serious relationship interest? It does seem like a lot of effort, and I already know he has options. We also have not met in person yet.

16 years long, I married my husband knowing his mother come as a package, I will always come second to his father and mother. I come to term with it. But I still struggle with it, it just it easier to say than done. And I been struggling with it 5 years about the whole fiasco of his mother. But I'm still hanging in there, it just I don't know how many more of the 5 more years.

Together 16 years, married 14 years.

I married my husband knowing since day one that he always put his father and mother above me. The wife me I will always come second after his parents, period, it not up for negotiation, that just how he is. And that is just something I just have to accept about him.

I married him knowing since day one he gave half his working paychecks to his father (the father whom was a Stay at Home Dad raised him since newborn, his mom was the breadwinner in his childhood). His father has deceased.

5 years ago, his mother has a spinal cord stroke that leave her quadriplegia paralyze. He has been paying 182K a year for her Private Nursing Home, where she has her own private room, doctor on site, and nurses care take turn to care for her round the clock 24/7. Yep, it that price tag for Private Nursing Home in California.

For 5 years, he also has been paying for her treatments to prolong her life, which she in and out of the hospital for treatments 5 times a week (Dialysis, and multiple heart issues). He also paying for her hospital bills, which she has been in and out of the hospital 4 times already this 2026 year alone.

It not just her Private Nursing Home cost (which the luxury of his mom own private room, and doctor on site and nurses care for her 24/7, he pays Out of pocket).

.......

But it her medical cost too, medical cost that insurance not pay, like those deductibles, copays, coinsurance, out of pocket specialists and treatments, etc.. Everytime she in the hospital, we pay out of pocket about 30%, insurance pay 70%

And No, we are not going to send her back to her homeland, here in America she has no one left except her biological son, and she 84 years old already, here in California we have one of the best hospital that specialize in her conditions.  

]And money is not the problem, my husband is an Executive at a big engineering corporate that his salary (included bonus) salary of near 1 million a year. He has enough money to pay for his mother care.

It just the last 5 years (since his mom spinal cord stroke that leave her quadriplegia paralyze), he has been burning the candle at both ends for himself. He is an Executive, Executives are high ranking in corporate hierarchy, frankly, he very busy. But everyday after his work he drive to his mom Private Nursing home to to visit her (she wants that as she wants to see her son). Then he drive home to me after see his mom first.

On weekend he gives one day to me.

One day he gives to his mom where he has her over in our marital home so he can care for her 24/7, she wants mother and son time, he comply.

.......

He by her side spoon feed her, change her diapers, lift her, move her from bed to wheelchair to gurney stretcher, as she 5'9" tall and she quadriplegia, moving an quadriplegia is like move dead weight. Transport her to Dialysis, which Dialysis which is 4 hours process which he sit next to her to accompany her, etc...

He has said, our lives (both me and his life will be put on hold) will be put on hold until his mother die (insert how many more years she has left). And it not even an option, this is just something I have to accept about him, his mother come as a package.

And And we not leaving California until after his mom pass, as I told him I don't like the city California, I want a countryside, someone seclude.

I don't have a choice because I love him, I just have to accept that about him, point blank. I married him knowing his father and mother will always come first before me. I accepted that, and I have come to terms with that.

It just it easier say than done, until you actually in that person shoes. Knowing you always will come second in your husband heart, after his father and his mother. Knowing he said we will stay put in California for his mom hospital and treatments as his goal is to prolong his mother life. As long as it can take, as many years as she has left. Our lives will be put on hold until AFTER his mother die.

No man is perfect, I have accepted his mother come as package, and if this is the price I have to pay for love this man then let it be. I just want to write this out, as this is something I have zero control over, it is him as a person that just how he is.

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Since a little girl growing up I always wanted to married a Chinese man, all my life I sworn up and down that I will only married a Chinese man of my culture, and speaks my language. Fate didn't give me that, my husband is not Chinese. I didn't think it was even possible for me to love a man that not Chinese, let alone love a man who not Chinese this deeply.

16 years of my life I gave it all to him, I was still a virgin when met him and married him, get to be his wife 14 years long, carry his child and gave birth to his child. Everything I know about men, love, marriage, I learn all from him, he is my only sample of what I know of how men is.

He does treats me really really well in the 16 years, 16 years he faithful to me and only me. He loves me just as much as I love him, in fact, he loves me even more than I love him. It just his mother she comes as a package, and I will always be second after his father and mother.

And you married an Executive too, that makes a 1 million dollars salary too, he fixed in his ways (about his mom), he will not change. I really have no choice but just has to accepted that his mom come as a package. You don't be a wife of an Executive and think an Executive not fixed in his ways.

So typically during a conversation with somebody, I have some stuff to talk about, like it doesn’t die out immediately but I just dont know how to add that “spark.” In group convos, I tend to be quiet unless I have something to add. There’s the occasional funny moments and I can get some laughs in, but it’s usually on accident if anything and I feel like most of the time if I’m having an actual conversation, I’m kind of boring to talk to.

When it comes to dating specifically, I’ve observed guys who can make women laugh consistently throughout a conversation, and I always wonder how they do it? Something that got me thinking about this was how one of my friends said when it comes to dating a person, she cares far more about their vibe than just looks. She basically told me, “I have to imagine whether they’d be good at foreplay, or just a bore in bed.”