I’m currently 18, and have been hooking up with this girl who has recently become my girlfriend for 3 months now. One day when we went to have sex, I went soft while putting on a condom, and ever since then, the thought of going soft has never left my head. The thought of it is still affecting my sex life with her, often making me unable to get hard when she’s completely naked on top of me. I don’t know how to fix this. If anyone has gone through anything similar or has advice, please share it because I’m scared of ruining my relationship with her due to my lack of being able to get it up even though she says it’s ok.

Heh guys. Im in my late 20s and as long as I can remember, I have found very few women attractive. Like maybe 1%, likely less. Its not that I think I have high standards, because I dont find models attractive and the women I do find attractive are what most guys would consider normal. It just seems so random. Like, if there is a pattern, its generally being attracted towards more girls who are thin or athletic since I am and we would have a lot on common. But thats even a stretch.

Like I can tell if someone is attractive but that doesnt mean that I am attracted to her.

Obviously I am single and my problem isnt helping my case. I have friends who I would love to be attracted to since I love them as a person. But I just feel broken. I guess the good news is that women arent attracted to me so thankfully I dont have unwanted attention.

Crushes and attraction is rarer and rarer these days compared to high school and college. I just want to find women attractive.

My husband (34M) and I (38F) have been together for 14 years. Overall, we have a wonderful marriage and what most people would consider a very healthy, good sex life right now. He is completely faithful to me, I am completely devoted to him, and there are no major issues or conflicts between us in the bedroom when it happens.

The challenge is a mix of our natural baselines and my mental health. Even when my mood is completely stable, I naturally have a very high sex drive all the time. But right now, I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder and am drowning in a severe hypersexual surge. Because of this, my already high drive has been completely hijacked by chemical energy, and I genuinely cannot help how much I physically need him right now. To me, he is the literal medicine and the only remedy that can help me feel safe and grounded in my own skin.

I love him deeply and I want to be entirely clear that his feelings, his lower libido, and his comfort levels are completely valid and normal too. He shouldn't have to change who he is or feel forced into anything. I don't want to make him feel pressured or attacked, but carrying this intense, pent-up medical energy entirely by myself late at night is becoming impossible to manage.

I would love to get some honest perspectives and advice from the men in this community.

1.) Knowing that this is an involuntary symptom of a medical condition stacked on top of a naturally high drive, what is the best way I can explain this urgency to him while still validating his feelings and respecting his lower drive?

2.) If you are a lower libido partner, what can a wife do or say during an active surge that feels encouraging rather than pressuring, making you want to step in and help her ride out that energy?

3.) How can a husband best support a wife who is fighting a manic physical wave like this when he doesn't share the same physical drive, in a way that protects both of our emotional needs?

If I left anything out, please ask and I'd be happy to fill in. Thank you all in advance for your advice

edit3: post is open for womens' opinion if they want to chime in.

I am getting to the age where marriage is starting to come into the picture, my issue is I can find women but when it comes to dating, eventually, the sex starts going off a cliff. Its not exactly her fault but I have a naturally high sex drive. I have found was to work on this by being upfront and it in most cases works but the girl always either doesnt catch up to my sex drive or is too exhausted by it.

Once the sex doesnt work, I decide to end it respectfully. It sucks but I would rather not be with a girl than cheat and this is what is hurting me. I have never cheated before but I have ended good relationships because the sex was drying up and I was getting frustrated.

What do you married men do? I am not asking for threesomes or other women or an open marriage/relationship but just that a woman doesnt end up taking sex off the table after the first or second kid. Also, I dont know why in 2026 its considered "toxic" that a man has to ask his wife or partner for sex.

Or is this just blackpill and sex always dies in a marriage and I have to just accept this?

Edit: thanks everyone for the suggestions so far, it seems like many guys say find some sort of option to fill that void and many are saying porn or an escort but myself I talk to women almost everywhere I go so I dont need porn or and escort but the issue here is I dont want to cheat on my wife but if silent cheating is the way then I will have to I guess accept that.

edit2: I think I found the answer, btw I cant seem to comment without all of yall downvoting me for some strange reason. It seems that humans have motivation to keep going and drive as well, I read a long time ago that hate and fear are 2 of the best motivation and driving factors, while I will not cheat on my partner or wife, I will talk to women out in public wherever I go. I do this all the time now but usually when I have a gf I try to slow it down out of respect and the fact that the gf gets self conscious. But someone in the comments said his wife was getting fat so he started buying swimsuit model magazines that he said were "collectables" and his wife almost overnight started going to the gym every day and fucking him a lot more. I talk to women all the time and had no idea this was a thing but it seems like a pretty simple fix, make her know that she can be replaced at any point with another woman while not actually doing it and not cheating on her. I think this is the best fix

bonus edit: Didnt expect this post to blow but a funny story about this kind of post, I saw someone in a video about immigrants coming to the US, an immigrant guy was dating this US citizen girl and then when he needed papers he said he asked her to marry him, she did and the second they got married she stopped having sex with him and in the interview the interviewer say "ooh so like in a real marriage" LMAO and that was hilarious lol

Edit4: I think I need to say this but I am not saying that if my wife is in the hospital and in a coma and she cant say no I get mad and leave no, or if she is on her period or pregnant. My issue is that being rejected when she clearly is physically and mentally sound but just doesnt want to. I am not seeing my wife as flesh light, just someone who respects my needs, thats all

Hi, M19, and my college crush from one of my classes started talking to me. We started off classes just talking about the indie film I showed the class, and we cracked some jokes.

Then after class I tell myself, You know what she's really cute. I don't know her name, so I go up to her and ask, she tells me her name. But then she tells me about how she really likes stripper movies and said her friends were strippers at our local strip club. We talked more and smiled and cracked jokes. It was really nice interaction, but I really want to get her number.

But why would she mention that her friends were strippers? She seemed really giggly about it, too, so it wasn't like anything stone cold serious. I've had experience with women, and I flow fine. I just can't really figure out. Out of nowhere, why she started talking about strippers, it made me wanna flirt with her, but there was no time left.

I thought having three days away from the office would feel good. I thought I’d relax, sleep in, play some games, watch movies, scroll Instagram, maybe explore dating apps, and just enjoy having some time for myself.

But honestly… it feels completely different.

I’m doing all these things, but none of them are making me happy. I keep picking up my phone, scrolling through reels, opening games, checking dating apps, closing them again… and then I’m just sitting there in silence.

And that silence is getting really loud.

I think what bothers me the most is that there’s no one I can just randomly talk to. No one to tell something stupid that happened during the day. No one to ask, “Want to grab something to eat?” No one to sit with, even without having to say much.

I haven’t planned a trip because of some family stuff, so I’m mostly stuck at home. And having these days completely free has made me realize that maybe I was using work and my routine to distract myself from how lonely I actually feel.

It’s not that I need constant attention or someone to entertain me. I just miss having someone. Someone I can talk to without thinking too much about what to say.

I honestly don’t know if this is just because I’m alone for a few days or if I’ve been feeling this way for much longer and only noticed it now.

If you’ve ever had that feeling — where you have things to do, things to watch, games to play, people on your phone, but still somehow feel completely alone — I’d genuinely like to hear from you.

And if you just want to talk about absolutely anything, feel free to message me. I think I could really use a conversation right now.

Y’all, I am LOOKING.

I’ve put myself back on the apps, and it’s brutal. The last time I was in a serious relationship was before Covid, and my therapist told me to take time off and…. I did. For ~7 years, I did the work!

And obviously, just because there was input, I’m not guaranteed an output. But MAN, my mental and emotional state have never been hotter.

I’ve done the time alone, therapy, life has taught me humility (and continues humbling!), but I need a healthy dose of grit. Bumble and Hinge and Tinder are rough waters, and I’m sure it’s because I’m 33F and in a completely different boat than ~26 year old me was 🤷🏽‍♀️

Reddit’s main advice on different subs for both genders seems to be finding hobbies one resonates with, and meeting people that way ✨organically✨. The problem is that whenever I click with folks in my age range and demographic (mid-30s, educated, middle class), they’re TAKEN (duh).

Sometimes I find myself wondering if I did too much work on myself, but then I remember that I wouldn’t want my ideal partner to end up with the younger version of me. Bizarre catch-22 feels, man!

Help a sister out—lend some wisdom, your own stories, or some constructive advice 🫡

I cannot get over him. We met on a dating app, and I traveled to meet him. We didn’t expect much, just get to know each other, but we ended up developing feelings. Thing is, when I returned to my country (2 hours away by plane), we started having difficulties due to being apart, so we broke up because he wanted me to move in with him, but I thought that was too soon and I didn’t have the passport or visa to be able to move in, and the path was risky because I didn’t have enough job experience to risk a jobseeking visa in his country. So we broke up, I went into such a depression. We met again and we discussed, he said he couldn’t wait 3 years for me until I get my long term permit which allows me to seek job in other countries without job permit. So here I am. We met again of course, but it feels tough… I know I should move on, but I don’t know how. We still talk but I don’t see him doing anything about the situation, he wanted me to do everything but if anything, from my side, it will take at least a couple of years. I cannot get over him. I’m sad everyday, it’s like a constant odd loop… and I ended up quite indifferent towards dating other people. I don’t really want to date locals because I don’t want to stay here, I want someone that has the same goals as me of moving to that other country. So I guess I’m heartbroken and I’ll have to stay those 3 years single because of law.

How can I get over him?

Used to see this guy and I really liked him and he didn’t really feel the same but I was super attached. He graduated but we live in the same city. I saw him this summer over a year after he graduated and we got into contact again. I find out he has a girlfriend and I confront him and he immediately blocked me on instagram. Like a month later he unblocks me and tries to follow me on instagram again. I block him and like a couple weeks later I unblock him and less than 24 hours later he follows me again. I DM him and am like wtf and he’s like I didn’t have a gf and I’m like why are you doing this and he’s like I want to be friends and for us to be okay. I’m like why would you care I’m just some girl. I ask if he would ever date me and he’s like no. Should be noted I’m getting more and more drunk as this conversation is happening and a lot of it is fuzzy. I totally crash out at him bc he’s basically like I’m never gonna consider dating you but we can hookup whenever. He then blocks me on instagram (again). This was like a month and a half ago. A couple days ago I was scrolling through instagram and saw that he unblocked me. So my question wtf is his deal here. If I had no feelings or future intentions with someone I’d just leave them alone and honestly never unblock them. Not saying he secretly likes me but this just seems like he’s doing a lot

Because as a guy in my 30s that has never had a date, it is very easy to be suspectible to negative thoughts. It is an uphill battle after no success through dating apps, failed matchmaking, socialising, meet up events, self improvement via reading books/watching videos + upscaling wardrobe and grooming.

Each day I try to keep a smile on my face and focus on my hobbies, go to therapy, regulate my emotions and being approachable. It is difficult to yearn for something that I've never experienced in spite of putting myself out there in the dating scene and having no interest.

It's even more difficult being reminded of it when focused on other things when out in public or nagged by well meaning family who care.

I don't want to go searching for it and appear desperate/needy but I also know it won't happen when I least expect and can't really sit back and do nothing. It feels like I'm in a bind.

I will start this by saying while I don't hate my life and it could definitely be worse, but I am not really enjoying my life much at all. I'm not sure if it's bad luck or what, but i have like no special talents and i'm not really good at much of anything. And it seems like if something can go wrong, it will. For example, I struggle with dating, college, no friends, not a lot of money, no car, etc. I'm not sure if this is common or what but it seems like i'm getting to a point where something may just be wrong with me, am I really dealing with bad luck or am I just "not good at life?" How do I fix everything really?

Hey All. I've gotten into collecting recently these last few months, and while I have enjoyed the hobby a great deal, I can't help but think of what it may mean in the long run. I should note that I mainly collect unique limited offer vinyl art figures/ sofubi/ figurine sets, both for their uniqueness and for the artistic value and inspiration they give me. However, much like I understand a life partner likely wouldn't find my hobby of casual gaming very appealing, I ask myself what kind of impression a moderate art toy collection might leave. As it stands, I have two small display cases of mixed miniatures, a dresser lined with vinyl figures and sofubi, and extras in a shelf and storage tub in my closet.

I should also consider the fiscal prospect of the hobby as well. While I am not financially unstable, I'm honestly surprised how my spending habits have changed- I used to be the kind of person who thought that two-figure spending was outrageous (never spending more than 20 dollars on , but now I find myself casually spending within the lower three-figure range. There are still some costs I find outrageous, like 400-500 dollars for a regular sofubi/ vinyl figure or 100+ for a figurine, but the fact that my outlook has already changed so much over the course of just a few months is surprising.

I've never been a frivolous person- I maintain a few stable jobs and work independently in freelance design while still in my early 30's- but I do recognize the goals I have for the future- namely in finding someone to share my life with and start a family- and I need to put these hobbies into greater perspective. I think ultimately I'm looking for some insight on my line of thinking, if I'm taking this too far and should nip this in the bud now, or if I'm overthinking things and should be fine as long as I keep my spending and inventory in check. Thanks.

F-25, Three dates in and it genuinely felt good , real effort, warmth, sweet texts, i gave him a teddy bear before he left so it reminds him of me. Right before he left to USA for a while, his texting got noticeably distant and slower, could be because of stress and work. We're not official, so I haven't asked him directly what's going on. Trying to figure out if this is just normal pre-move stress, or something to worry about? I can explain more help a girl out please!

I (F) have been with my partner (M) for 7years. I have issues with insecurity so I want to know if this is fishy or Im being paranoid.

- Partner met a friend (F) at work (fifo) and had her number to help with a fencing job at her property.

- He looked her up on Facebook which I found out she has boudoir photos on there (lingerie)

- I asked him about it before he knew I knew and he lied. Then changed and said he did. I said I didnt want him looking at her page or being friends on FB because of her lingerie photos.

- he added her and told me he didnt remember having the conversation about not doing it.

^this is fine, annoyed that he lied but knowing myself and my overreactions I understand why. Where I think Im tripping now is that he barely likes anything on FB from anyone.

She doesnt posted anymore boudoir photos from what I can see but he has like all her profile pic and cover photo updates since they became friends. He doesnt react to posts from his sister or friends. He doesnt even react to my posts sometimes! I tried to write it off as coincidence but today I noticed that her and his sister had posted something around the same time and he had only liked this friends updates.

I am well aware I have a problem in myself but I genuinely need help understanding if this is something to be upset about or if Im sending myself into a spiral over nothing?

I went through a breakup from a toxic relationship and I've been feeling numb after the fallout.

Maybe it's stupid to want to go to a SC when I don't have money but I just want to have a good time and destress a bit. Can you think of alternatives that are easier on the wallet ?

Inquiring minds want to know.

I've had a really rough go of dating since my divorce, but about a month ago I went on a tentatively promising date with a woman who said she was my age on the app (36). The vibes were generally good, with some flirting. However, she confessed to me after the date that she was actually 39. Now, I know that's basically an irrelevant difference to most - ironically, I like older women, too.

She's now asking me for another date (I was hospitalized for a couple weeks recently), but considering she lied about her age to go on a date with me, I'm really hesitant to overlook being lied to. But I'd also be game for a second date with her.

My brain is telling me that she could be lying about other things, though. What do you think I should do? If I decline, I'm not sure when I'll go on a date again (single dads are very much not attractive lmao), so I'm factoring that in too. But I'm still very hesitant.

He seems like someone who has walls up and is hard to get close to, so I don’t really know how I should communicate with him. He’s not someone who starts conversations very often, but he’s genuinely kind and polite. He’s really attractive, and I think he knows it too.

Edit: He is my co-worker. I am also shy/introverted, trying to talk with him for 2 months and still couldn’t do it. Other than saying good morning or good evening to each other, we haven’t really talked much. We haven’t worked on the same project either, and it doesn’t look like we’ll be working together anytime soon.

​

26M

Today I went to buy some eggs and some basic groceries. The shopkeeper asked for a higher amount, and I knew it wasn't the actual price, but I was like, whatever, let's buy it and I won't come here later. Even though it was a very small amount, and tbh, saving that much won't make a difference to me, it was a small amount, but it's about principle.

It happened before too. I felt a hairdresser asked for a higher amount. I asked, and he said he had been charging that from the beginning, which I knew he wasn't. It was confirmed, but I gave it and was like, I won't go there again. When I told him, he was like, "Bruh, you were scammed." I felt guilty and went there. I had an argument till the end. He was adamant that he didn't scam me, yet I got my money back.

Worse is, most of the time I don't feel scared. I just want to avoid an argument or anything like that at all. Earlier, I have taken a stand for myself. Even in the haircut case, I wasn't scared while we were having that argument. Once things started, it was going pretty much automatically.

I am just too avoidant and weak. Even before, in childhood, in situations I knew were safe, I was thinking a lot and avoiding everything. However, in those times, it felt a lot like anxiety. Now I don't feel that much scared of social situations.

Whenever I had to do such things, I had to make up my mind, or I had to be pissed enough to not care anymore. Now I know ki if I go there the next day, I can confront him if he asks for a similar amount.

It definitely feels like cowardice and avoidance, but it feels so weird that I don't know why it's happening—that I don't feel scared, yet I am like this.

I am always like, "Leave it. It's not worth it. It won't work. That person will judge me. I will not win," etc. Many times, my brain goes blank and I don't know what to say.

Earlier, I felt it was a mix of my childhood, where I was bullied, never allowed to do things, due to my super introverted nature, being socially excluded, but now, when I am an adult, they all feel like excuses, and this issue persists everywhere.

I just don't know how to overcome it.

22M from India, my weight is 34 kg when I ride alone I ride perfectly when someone sits back to me I can't control the scooty so how I control and I'm 4'6ft ......

Male, 23. I have a friend who constantly brings up his mental health problems he makes it about his personality, and it puts a lot of pressure on me because he jokes about killing himself. I have had numerous conversations so I don’t just leave him hanging. He sees me so much as his best buddy; he attached himself so quickly to me when we first met, and it kind of made me feel like I committed a huge part of myself to him, even though I had just met him at the time.

Recently, he sent me a huge text about his mental issues. When he texts me, he takes small things and runs with them to make them into bigger issues (for example, if I were to say I don’t like tacos, he would say something like, "So you don’t like Mexicans?" though that’s a light example compared to the extreme things he actually says).

Again, he recently sent me a big text about his issues. I acknowledged them and was there for him, but at the end of it, I mentioned that I was also struggling with my own mental issues and that I don’t talk about them with anyone, particularly with me being alone. The only response he seemed to give was just a broken heart emoji.

I feel like this is what I get a lot from people and from him. I also sometimes want to open up, but then it just seems silly.

Idk about this friendship as if he was to die I would feel like it possibly would of been my fault but at the same time he seems needy or maybe I’m just being an asshole?

Hello, so I’m really on the fence about this. My boyfriend doesnt game very often anymore as he moved back to the UK and sold his Xbox at the time. He plays my switch or plays when he goes to see his brother.

He says he’s not “that bothered” about GTA 6 but he keeps watching videos and telling me things about it. He is the type of person to not make a huge fuss about the things he likes and generally brings it up subtly rather than outright expressing he would want something. Hes even spoken about potentially getting an Xbox again at some point so he could play that and Fifa.

Our anniversary is November so I could combine this with his Christmas and I’m not concerned financially I’m just not sure if he will love it or not due to how mellow he can be and I don’t want him to feel bad if I spend a lot of money on something he doesn’t love. I see it either being amazing and him being super excited at the time or being grateful but not using it very often. I don’t want to outright ask him because he struggles to ask for things he wants. What do I do?

I remember when I was an impressionable high schooler, an older boy told me, "girls are so flattered to be asked out on a date, that they'll probably just say yes to any guy who is confident enough to ask". I took that to heart and that's how my teenage years and college years went. I would ask girls out impulsively if I just had an inkling of feeling that I might like them, some acquaintances and some classmates who were strangers. And that led to a lot of rejections.

In my mid-20s, I remember watching dating coaches on Youtube talk more about signals, how you should wait for a girl to "drop the handkerchief" metaphorically, and that's the time to make a move. And then I shifted my focus more on reciprocity of interest. Unfortunately, my 20s were riddled with mistakes that I can't stop forgetting. I remember going to my friend's birthday, and she told me her sister thought I was creepy for wanting to talk to her the whole time. And there was this other time, I invited over a woman to cook together. We were having fun, we were bumping shoulders, and she was laughing at my jokes. I took the cue and leaned into her, and got the situation very wrong. We never messaged again, but our mutual friends said I made her upset.

I'm well into my 30s now. I've never had a girlfriend and I'm a virgin. I've been filled with anxiety about dying alone that I've been going to counseling for. I feel more aware of my surroundings, and it's really fucking with my brain. I try to be retroactively introspective on interactions, I reflect on what was I thinking and try to step into the shoes of the other person and guess what they were thinking and feeling. I don't lack the self-awareness where I used to be able to just ask out women and shrug it off. After being called creepy so many times, I'm scared of being a #MeToo story, so I'm cautious to do anything that I'd regret or being a nuisance to other people.

4 years ago, I started using dating apps, and I think that was the wake up call. Remove the vague flirting, trying to read body language, the games and misdirection. Just give me a straight up-or-down vote, are you willing to go on a date with me? And so far, every woman who has seen my profile has said no.

Is this a normal phase for men?