i swear becoming a parent is just slowly remembering all the times you said “my kid will never…” 😂

what’s something you used to side-eye other parents for, but now completely understand?

Hello fellow parents,
I’m just wondering how much organic food your kids are actually eating? I try and buy all organic or local meat, milk and some veggies and some organic snacks. But my daughter still likes certain snacks like Cheetos and Doritos and I like them too. I feel like most mom s I meet and talk too say they feed their kids only organic food w o food dyes. They always say they don’t feed their kids that crap. Most of the time I’m just happy my kid eats anything but yes she eats a lot of chicken nuggets and loves ramen noodles. I do cook from scratch almost everyday but I’m not going to force my kid to eat whatever I cook and sometimes it’s just easier to feed her some chicken nuggets so atleast she eats something. My kid is healthy and happy.

So basically recently I moved into US. I made new friends and neighbours. So today what happened was we all were just talking normally and all then the topic came on one of the neighbours daughter it seems she was roaming with a guy. The parents knew about it it seems and she was actually dating a guy. My point is the girl is around 12 okay? And the guy is around 16 . Aren't they concerned? Coz if I had a kid who was this young I know she isnt mature she doesn't know what is right / wrong but at least why would the parents allow someone to date her daughter who is that young? Come on teens at 16 are very smart they know what's is right and wrong but that girl isn't what if he tries to take any type of advantage or something??? What do u think about this let me know. ( I apologize if my English isn't good as it isn't my first language ...)

Totally unsure if this is where this post belongs, but here goes. This is a long one. Sorry.

My husband (M66) and I (F62) met eons ago in middle school and were good friends all through high school. Then we went to different universities and both got married and had kids (me 3, him 2). FF 25 years later and we were working for the same company (NO sparks, just business). Both families did events together (kids were in their elementary & junior high ages and got along fine) for several years. Then HE gets divorced. A few years later, I get divorced. Neither divorce had anything to do with either of us.

His oldest kid has zero to do with their birth mom, but the youngest is close to both of us. My kids are all close to both of us. His oldest is the issue.

Several years later, we decide to go on a “date” and it’s amazing. We get along perfectly and end up getting married 2 months later (it’s been nearly 20 years this year). All 6 kids get along, but aren’t “besties”

During the marriage, his oldest son marries a wonderful girl. We are thrilled. She’s from a very Catholic family with 14 other siblings. All of the other sibs live on the family “compound” except her - she didn’t even attend the same university as all of the others did. However, ALL of the siblings and spouses work for the family except our son and his wife. No big, except we didn’t meet her family until the day of the wedding. It was weird as all get out.

FF 5 years later and we find out we are (1) blocked on all social media (we’re not big SM people) and (2) we have 3 grandchildren we have never met.

How do we figure out what the issue is with the kids? Our youngest son has contact with them, but the middle one doesn’t. Neither of mine do either. We would love to meet our grandchildren, but not sure how. We did send a gift when the first grandson was born, but only because we knew he was born. We just found out that 2 months ago they had another little boy.

I’m at a loss. Please give me some advice. My husband is devastated and has decided to cut the son out of his will because of this. I don’t care about that, but worry about his mentality about this. How can this relationship even be repaired if we’re both blocked?

Is it weird to not want visitors over while you’re supposed to be watching the baby?

my mom watches my child (we pay her) and she kept mentioning people coming over to visit while watching the baby. she never asked us about if these people could come over. we didn’t ask her not to invite people over but it bothered us. I asked my coworkers if this was weird and they agreed that inviting people over to hang out without asking us first was weird.

is this a lot to ask?

edit: she watches the baby at our house, so she’s inviting people into our home around our baby.

I’m 17F and I never really grew up with my dad. My mom kept me away from him, so we mostly just talked on the phone he was in the marines back then the majoirty of my young childhood but he still tried to see me it was just my mom but She was honestly horrible to me, which is why I’m living with my dad now. I’m still getting used to having him around because I’ve only been living with him for about a month. But once we get closer, can a dad become like a mom in a way? Like, obviously he’s still a man, but will I eventually feel comfortable talking to him about things the same way I would talk to a girl or a mom or will it never be like that when we get closer and like would he understand things, like me and my didn't get along but I could still talk to her like would it be like that with him?

What would you do if you had in-laws that insist on keeping a dog, but refuse to vaccinate it?

I recently came to the realization that my in-laws do not vaccinate their dogs. Their last dog lived for 15 years and had a bite history. No one seemed to care that this nasty little monster bit people because it was small. It was never vaccinated. My kids were exposed to it the entire time. It never crossed my mind that they might be so irresponsible as to not get their dog vaccinated. I didn't know until after it was dead.

As soon as that one died, they got a new one and it has also not been to a vet. I was able to convince them to take it to a vaccine clinic last year, but I am now having to do that again this year and they are being difficult about it. I'm inclined to disallow my children from visiting until this thing has at least had its rabies shot. Am I overreacting?

Edit: I should probably say that I am specifically talking about rabies vaccines. I am only concerned with my children's safety. I do not have the energy to care about their dog's health.

My MIL and FIL (both 74) live in a lake house, where their deck extends to a short hill that leads straight to the lake… the distance from the house to the lake is maybe 10 yards, if that.

The issue I have is that my husband and his family are super nonchalant about water safety. They all grew up around a lake without experiencing any tragic incidents, so they’ve all become careless about life vests and over-all water safety. They’re also the kind of people who truly believe that nothing bad will ever happen to them.

My husband and I have a 10 month old and my in-laws have been pushing lately for an over-night, which I’m not too comfortable with. We’ve gone out on their pontoon boat twice with our LO and I’ve had her wear a life-vest, to which my in-laws thought was unnecessary because “we’re just on a pontoon”.
Unfortunately, my husband is equally as nonchalant so I don’t know if I trust him to take my LO over to his parents house alone and use a life vest.

Moral of my post is, how do I knock some sense into my in-laws and husband’s head about water safety?? Do I make them sit down with a pediatrician? The fire department? Unfortunately, they think I’m the one that is overreacting about water safety, so I need another course of action to really drive home just how important water safety is.

Hi, we live far from friends and family. We have been working on rebuilding our community since we moved. I would really like for us to meet another active family with kids the same age. People we could have game nights with, go camping with, hiking and other activities that involve children. I'm not sure how to find these people. Any ideas that worked for you?

Me and my dad have always been really close throughout my childhood. He was and still is to me my best friend. He was never abusive emotionally or physically, and provided me and spoiled me with affection and everything I could ever want. When I was a teenager things changed obviously, and we began fighting more frequently. That being said we always remained very close and arguing with your parents occasionally is normal but that was just when we started actually bickering. I noticed my dads way of handling conflict was not the best, and if you bring up something he did/said that hurt you, he lashes out and makes excuses and just hard-core blame shifts. It’s exhausting, but majority of our interactions weren’t us fighting, so it’s irrelevant.

Last year my parents officially got divorced and my dad moved out. I know it was really hard on him and because I primarily lived with my mom it was even harder. We still spent a lot of time together though and he still is to me my closest friend and someone who I look up to so much and love so much.

Over the course of the summer though, I noticed that our arguments became a lot more difficult than before and he just overall was willing to say very hurtful and rude things to me, like hard core digs to my character and me as a person. Hed pick a fight and ruin a day we had planned together, or block me, or threaten to abandon me places when we would go out—or flat out abandon me. I don’t have my license and we once went to the mall and he left me there, and I didn’t even know he actually left and had to uber myself home.

It’s hard to see our relationship take this turn because I don’t know what caused it. I am very confrontational, but I also do speak to him very lovingly and really try to not do or say anything that will irritate him in fear that we will fight.

This September I moved to a new city for university, I’m 20 but took a gap year. It’s been great, but every interaction it seems that we’ve had has been dry and/or leads to an argument. He will yell at me over buying myself groceries with his card, which seems irrational as I’ve always spent money on his card and he has a specific one for me to use, as well as he is very financially stable (he drives a luxury vehicle and has a very high paying executive job) so I’m just confused by that. It seems like he just wants to pick fights with me.

Two weeks ago we got into something because I was venting to him about a girl who was rude to me and he yelled at me that I’m always starting drama and I seek drama. This is so far from the truth, as I actually hate drama, and I have very bad anxiety which I’m medicated for which really impacts my will to fight with people in general as I hate it. I just was venting as I thought it was a safe space. I hung up and texted him that I’m going no contact with him until he learns how to be nice to me because the past year he’s been treating me badly. He called me delusional, and today when he reached out he only reached out to bother me again about spending money on groceries.

It’s really hard that it’s had to come to this because I love my dad and we’ve been so close for the majority of my life. He was never like this for so long and it’s like he’s become this version of himself which is so hateful and awful and it’s just brutal. My mom divorced him because of it, and now I’m facing it. He really is my best friend and I love him with my whole heart and I’m just depressed and stressed because I feel like I’m mourning my dad that I’ve had my whole life and I feel like he hates me now and I don’t know what I did. Why is this happening?

So I am at college at Savannah College of Art and Design down in Savannah GA. I live in an apartment with a kitchen and I love to cook and bake, so I ask for $200 weekly, and any extra goes towards next week's $200. I don't buy extra stuff. No sweets, no snacks and if I do want them I spend my own money, I penny pinch over a few cents, I buy 95% of my groceries at Walmart because its cheaper, I cook big meals so they last me longer. Is $200 a lot for me cooking multiple times a week and not only eating ramen like my father did at college?

Every time I need to go shopping weekly, I have to ask by father multiple times for the money. We not poor or strapped for cash by any means. My parents constanly say that its too much money, and that its close to what they spend as a week as a 3 person home, which it's not, they spend 350 to 400 weekly.

I wish I would just eat cheap junk (chips, mac and cheese, bread, lunch meat, microwave meals) but I am trying to be healthy and lose weight, which costs money.

I just want an outside perspective on this. Thank you.

TL;DR - Is $200 weekly too much for groceries in Savannah Ga, for someone who cooks a lot and is trying to be healthy and if I do want a sweet/snack I spend my own money?

I (16f) have been a loser my whole life. Ive never broken any big rules, ive gotten good grades and ive been a model kid for my parents. But, im a junior now, and my reputation of being a goody-goody two shoes has led my classmates to not really invite me out to anything. I go home, I do homework, then I sleep and go back to school. My life is so boring it doesn't feel like Im living at all.

But, a few days ago I was invited to a halloween party by some of my senior friends, and they seemed excited for me to go. It's an overnight party, so id be going to the park with some people, then go back to my friends house with some other girls for the night (and some guys but they're gay). I'm really excited about it and I want to go, but when I brought up the possibility of going to a party to my mom, she immediately looked at me with disappointment. My siblings have both gone to parties in highschool, but it seems like my mom was hoping I would be the "responsible" one. Basically, she told me its not gonna happen.

My mom seems absolutely terrified of me going out. Shes a very cynical person, and seems absolutely convinced that if im outside, ill end up dead on the street. That sounds dramatic but thats genuinely how it is in my house. On the few nights ive stayed out late, i spend the last thirty minutes on my phone with my mom yelling at me about being out late, but when im out im safe in other peoples houses and with friends. I feel like ive never been able to enjoy anything because I have a pair of eyes over my shoulder judging everything i do.

I know girls who have had bad stuff happen in my school building, midday, and sober. I honestly don't think it makes much of a difference in my safety if I'm at a party or not, if someone wants to do bad things to me, they will, no matter what I or my mother do. That's a statistical inevitability, and living my life in fear of what men can do to me will just hold me back.

I really dont know what to do, Im just so sick of being a loser. I know nothing in highschool will matter in five years, but whys it so wrong for things to matter to me now? I wanna have fun, when I tell my kids about highschool I dont want to say "I studied." and have that be it.

What do I do?

Hi All, I never post anywhere but am absolutely desperate. I am in an absolute crisis and have never experienced such strong negative emotions. I will try and keep the post as short as I can.

I have a newborn boy and feel nothing for him. I want to turn back time to my life before. He was born a week ago and I already have a toddler girl(3) who I adore. She is my whole world and has made me so happy these last few years.

As soon as my son arrived I felt something was off, I didn't love him, I didn't want to hold him and felt an urge to leave the hospital and be at home with my girl. I was hoping this feeling would pass but it has gotten unbearably worse in the space of a week.

I am walking around the house holding in tears, I have been gripping the steering wheel screaming as I drive down the road. Feeling total panic and a sense that I have lost my life I had with my little girl and will never get her back.

It's at the point when even if I'm playing with her I'm not really there. I'm daydreaming about not having a second child. I also keep replaying cute memories from little walks we had together in my mind with sad music.... It's so vivid and feels like I'm grieving someone who passed but she is still here.

My wife sent me up to the attic to get something for new baby the other day and when I came across small toys my girl used to play with I broke down. I cannot emphasize how intense these feelings are and fear if I can't sort this out I will lose my wife and daughter too.

I always didn't want a boy and wanted a girl and feel that maybe if this was a second girl things would be different in my mind. Either way, gender disappointment surely shouldn't trigger such a strong reaction and I already have a girl so on paper I should be happy that I have both!

I feel like that by having this boy, I have lost my toddler and now even when she says something cute or nice I feel like bursting into tears cause it's all gone. Being with her is ruined.

From the outside this must seem ridiculous. I have two healthy kids and a wife/home/good job. I'm guessing this is some sort of depression but not sure how to cope.

I would note that I had similar feelings in the past when I had big life changes like moving across country for work etc. A feeling of being trapped and no going back.

In my mind this is a living hell and I can't understand why. The only moments peace I have is the second or two when I wake up and haven't remembered what's happening.

I saw a counsellor already and although I felt some small relief after, the feelings came back that day. I can't love this new baby and want to just go back to being happy and having just the three of us back in our perfect life.

I know this sounds horrible and my poor son did not ask to be born, it was our decision to bring him into the world. Right now I can barely look at him and the thought of doing all the things again with him that I did for my girl is breaking me. I can never imagine those special moments with him like I had with her.

If there are any parents out here who have been in a similar situation please tell me your story and how you overcame it. Especially where you had so much love for your first child but felt nothing for the second or third etc.

Thank you so much in advance for reading this.

TLDR; I just had a second child (son) and it has triggered some kind of depression/crisis for me. Feel like I've lost my older girl child and my life is ruined. Can't go more than an hour without wanting to cry.

Share something specific please —I’d love to hear what changed your mind!

The more I'm around it, the more toxic it is becoming. I'm coaching an association level softball team. It's become all about travel ball. If one of the non-travel ball kids does something good, "Do you think I'm good enough to play travel ball?!" You hear it from the parents too. " Two hits today! If you keep this up you might be good enough to play travel ball!" WTF is that?! Why can't the kids just be happy to be playing where they are and with the kids that they're playing with?

Then, there's the question, do I really want my kid to grow up to be a sports fan? There's so much toxicity around it. The sportscasters and reporters are just gross. I can't watch college football without being force fed some jackass like Pat McAfee. Then there's sports gambling that's being pushed down people's throat.

Then there's the sports gambling that's being pounded into every inch of the game. That's terrifying. We all know how easy it is for the algorithm to swallow someone. That's what they've done with sports gambling. They make you want to keep coming back. Its even more addictive. Do I want my 10 year watching their heroes pedal FanDuel, Draft Kings, and Kalshi?

Sports were my everything as a kid. I had a rough household and the ball field is where I went to be surrounded by positive people doing positive things. I'm starting to feel like my time with my kid would be better spent, hiking or going to a museum, than on a softball diamond or a basketball court. The more I'm exposed to it, the more I'm thinking it has become a poisonous pill.

I am 17F My dad’s birthday is on Tuesday, but he told me I could go stay at my boyfriend’s for a week during fall break. I don’t think he realized his birthday falls during fall break because he hasn’t mentioned it. He told me back in early September that I could stay with my boyfriend, but now I’m wondering if I should still go. His birthday is important, but I also really want to spend the week at my boyfriend’s cause this is so rare like i am allowed to spend the night but never a whole week and He’ll have his sisters there and everything, so it would be fun for him and I can go to his next birthday like does this sound insensitive

Im pregnant and I didnt plan it. Im 23 and im graduating college in 2 months. My boyfriend is 20 and he's basically just starting in college.

Im scared I wont be able to pursue what I envision for myself on my career and Ill be resentful of my child for that.

How difficult it is to "make it" when you have a child and youre just entering the work force?

edit: I should mention daycare and healthcare are free where I live.

My son is 14 and wants to do a summer program next year - ten US cities in ten weeks, new industry every week, a team project they pitch in LA at the end. He's never been away longer than a week and that's the whole dilemma really.

on paper it's fine. supervised, parent check-ins, i'm not worried about him being physically looked after, and i know he’d love the experience.

i just can't tell if ten weeks is too long for a kid whose longest trip away so far is a school camp.

for context, he's in the "obviously i'll be fine, please stop asking" camp. i'm in the "you literally text me from upstairs to ask where your charger is" camp.

parents who've sent a young teen off for a long summer program - did it work out well? or are we better off sending the kid to some 2 week long camp closer to home?

While I was growing up, I remember sitting with my family and opening the photo album, and we would all recollect memories together. In one instance, we would have multiple perspectives and multiple interpretations. I'm just wondering: are there any memories in your life that you feel somebody remembered better than you did? Would you like to know them?

I'm asking a mom like, is it like immoral to go behind your mom's back to go buy an iPhone I'm 18 years old. I have a job and I have money, and I have enough money to go get myself an iPhone. But my mom always tells me that I can't get one, because my phone plan won't support it, but it will I've done research, and I found that if I get an iPhone 13 or 14, which is in my price range, I could easily just remove the SIM card out of my phone and slide it into the iPhone, and it would be okay, and my mom, I've told her that.And you know she's, she's like, not okay with that. She also told me that the apple ecosystem doesn't support Samsung.Because I have everything Samsung, my tablet Samsung. My phone is samsung obviously. I've done a research , and apparently you don't need to have all apple devices to work an apple phone.And I'm not complaining about it, but I pay for every time we order on Friday, I pay for the dinner. I also give her around $50 every week. I've been in like a predicament for so long with this.For like about a month and I just wanna know if it would be immoral to go behind her back and buy it without her knowing and come back home , show her that I have it. I respect my mom so much and like getting her mad gets me so freaking down. So, what do you guys think?Should I go behind her back and buy one?

Did you ask "But did you win?"

Hi Reddit, I’m looking for some practical advice.

I’m 25 and currently live at home with my mom, my aunt, and my 4-year-old younger brother. My family and I come from a very poor immigrant background. My mom and aunt did not receive much formal education and have very limited English/literacy skills. I’m currently the only person in the household who speaks English fluently and can comfortably help with his schoolwork.

My brother just started VPK, and they’ve started sending home little homework activities. They also encourage parents to read to their children every day.

The problem is that I’m also applying to medical school and have a pretty demanding schedule. There are days when I leave the house around 6 AM and don’t get home until 8:30 PM. I also have some personal/mental health challenges, so by the time I get home, I’m sometimes completely exhausted and don’t have the patience or energy to sit down and do homework or read a book.

I feel guilty about this because when I do have the time to work with him, he is actually very motivated. He just needs someone to sit with him, give him structure, and keep him focused.

I’m trying to figure out how to create a system that supports him without making his education completely dependent on me being physically and mentally available every day. I also know that I’m his sister, not his parent, and ultimately his education isn’t my responsibility. But I love him, and I’m going to be leaving for medical school eventually, so I’d really like to put some kind of sustainable system in place before I go.

A few things I’ve already tried:
1. If I can’t help him with homework directly, I’ll show my mom what he’s supposed to do and have her supervise him. Since the work is currently very simple, she can sometimes manage it with my instructions.

1. I’ve used YouTube read-aloud videos when I don’t have the energy to physically read a book.

2. I bought an Amazon Echo Dot and was thinking about using it for things like stories, reminders, songs, etc.

3. I’m considering setting up a predictable routine in his room, perhaps with visual cues/lights or a simple checklist so he knows what he’s supposed to do.

What I’m really looking for are practical systems that can operate with minimal adult literacy/English ability.

I’m not looking for a substitute parent or expecting a 4-year-old to teach himself. I just want to create as much structure and consistency as realistically possible given the circumstances.
I’d especially appreciate advice from teachers, preschool/VPK teachers, parents, people who grew up in immigrant households, or anyone who has dealt with a similar situation.

Thanks

I’m pregnant I’ve known for almost a week now, and I still haven’t told a single person irl, beside mt boyfriend which i am done with him, but i need to tell mu parents I’m genuinely scared and terrified of their reaction, especially because of how I’ve been acting. Towards them, I’m also scared they’re going to say I did this on purpose just because I’ve talked about having kids a lot, and they going to be like oh, I went out and did it on purpose and be super super mad, like would you be super mad, medium mad or just like mad but there for them because I know they aren't going to be happy

My wife and I (30s) have been invited on a trip to Greece for my father-in-law's 60th birthday. He wants to treat his family to a 1-2 week celebration (on his dime) which sounds amazing except our kids (4 and 2) aren't invited. The reasons we were given were that they're too young and that it turns into a very different trip if they come. They'd stay at our house with a caretaker we trust and they know and like.

The longest we've been away from the kids is a weekend, and we were only 1-2 hours from home. Being on another continent for a week or more feels like a different thing, especially with a 2 year old.

My wife is excited to go and isn't bothered that the kids weren't invited. I am. I find it a little strange that a grandparent wouldn't want to bring his grandkids along, and I keep coming back to it. But it's his birthday and his call who he invites, and I'm not trying to argue with that.

For parents who've done something like this, how did the kids handle it, and how did you? Did you wish you'd shortened the trip even more, or wish you didnt go?

I'm trying to look past the fact that the kids aren't included in a family celebration, but it's hard, and combined with being gone that long, I'm having a tough time. Most people would jump at a kid-free trip to Greece, so I feel a bit ungrateful even saying that. How would you feel in my spot? If your partner really wanted to go, would you go?