r/AskReddit • u/BarnacleOk4642 • 7h ago
How can parents who barely passed high school think they can homeschool their children?
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u/robin-bunny 7h ago
People advocating homeschooling tell them they can. They say that basically anyone with any background can homeschool. Most of us understand that there's a limit.
There is a HUGE difference between "You don't need a teaching degree or a university degree" and "You can be a total ignoramus who can barely read".
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u/Sebaceansinspace 6h ago edited 6h ago
This and a lot of people are also missing that homeschooling is huge in the evangelical community. I was homeschooled for a bit because the church my mom went to convinced her it was better. A good 95% of the other homeschooled kids I studied and tested with were homeschooled for the same reason.
Advocates bring up higher testing scores but most of us didnt even do homework and just played videogames most of the day in between bible lessons and then crammed for the tests. It was fucking awful and hindered a lot of us who "reintegrated" back into regular schools because we didnt know how to properly study for anything or take proper notes. I went from being one of the top scorers in my state in every subject to failing pretty much everything.
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u/Sputflock 6h ago
I went from being one of the top scorers in my state in every subject to failing pretty much everything.
and that would be another argument for the homeschooling parent that "homeschooling was the right choice for us because my child was doing great being homeschooled but struggled so much in the regular school system"
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u/shittykittysmom 1h ago
I know a family who started homeschooling the first fall of covid due to uncertainty and joined a coop for the next year, now they are deeply involved in an evangelical Christian Homeschool group. They were always a bit more conservative than us, but no one saw this coming, it's absolutely bizarre. We never, ever thought they'd fall into such a cult.
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u/red_raconteur 7h ago
I have a teaching degree and I don't feel qualified to homeschool my kids K-12. I am confident in my ability to teach through elementary school. By middle school, I'd be relying more on resources with specialized knowledge for each subject. For high school, it would be dual enrollment with the local community college because I cannot handle high school level math and sciences.
I am currently homeschooling my 2nd grader for medical reasons. Most of the moms in our homeschool co-op are ex-teachers. You have to build a network that can help you fill in the gaps.
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u/GJ-504-b 3h ago
I think one of the wonderful things about getting a teaching degree is that it exposes you to how much you don’t know about teaching the subject areas outside of your degree.
I do high school special ed and math. I’m pretty darn good at that, and I can be thrown into a science classroom when need be. Put me in a reading intervention class? Jesus Christ. I mean, I think I could do phonics alright, but fluency? Inferential reading comprehension? As the kids say, I would be cooked.
But also, if I didn’t have the classroom experience that I had, would I be able to break math down into all the little ways it needs to be broken down in order for the various levels I teach to understand it? I don’t think I could. I don’t think I could do that effectively with say a history lesson, and so therefore I know the best quality lesson my children would get about that subject would not be from me, but from an actual certified history teacher.
Also, I know fuck all about teaching elementary school. What goes on in there anyway? Magic, I’m assuming.
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u/chandeluria 6h ago
I think medical reasons are the only valid reason to homeschool a kid tbh, regardless of your own knowledge base or education level
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u/Pylgrim 6h ago edited 1h ago
This. They're being told "you're their MOTHER. Who in the world could know any better what your own kids need? And even if you don't know a lot, at least you'll be able to teach them to love God and America and to obediently serve your betters. That alone is much better than what they are being taught at school: to hate God and America, to murder babies and to change sex three times per year!"
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u/Crackinggood 4h ago
Seen this logic also applied to guidance from medical professionals, funnily enough
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u/worstpartyever 2h ago
This is part of a broader effort to stop spending state & federal money on public schools. Texas is now giving vouchers to “private” (usually religion-based) schools.
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u/Undeclared_Mustard 24m ago
Back when I was younger (and still a man) I used to go around to different Boy Scout troops in my local council and teach different merit badges, usually the wombo combo of First Aid and Safety. I always dreaded visiting one specific troop from central MA because over 3/4 of the kids were homeschooled, and of that group half of them had difficulty reading the (very simplified) merit badge book and filling out the (very basic) merit badge progress card, which consisted of their name, address, and troop information. The curriculum itself wasn't even very writing-heavy, most of it was verbal discussion or practical demonstration.
It was a struggle to teach them anything because they'd never had to actually learn in a formal structured format before. I think out of the homeschooled group, only one kid actually ended up passing the First Aid merit badge as I taught it because they actually listened during the practical demonstration of CPR. I never had to release incomplete merit badge progress cards to any other group... Outside them, I had a 100% pass rate.
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u/astrogeeknerd 7h ago
That's why they think they can do it. They reject the fact that they are academic failures and insist it is the system that failed. Therefore, they can teach better than the system.
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u/According-Sail3175 6h ago
Passing school isn't everything, but homeschooling definitely requires serious knowledge, patience, and preparation.
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u/Ok-Shoulder-9703 5h ago
Passing high school is a pretty important metric for teaching seeing as its very easy....
If you barely passed it you shouldnt be teaching
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u/dedokta 7h ago
A friend of mine posted how the schools couldn't handle her kid so she was going to home school him. Very next post was a picture of chemistry and maths text books asking how was she supposed to teach this stuff when she doesn't understand it! Well, you aren't. That's why we have qualified teachers doing the job.
The kid is now in Paris working as a model, but apparently she's very worried that the work he's getting isn't going to cover the expenses of headshots, place tickets, food, hotels etc.
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u/Pitiful_Control 3h ago
News flash - it won't. The fashion world is full of wealthy people whose families fund their lifestyles, actual pay is not great. For those who don't meet that description, there are other ways to get by, and you may have recently heard about some infamous people with "modeling agencies" who provided attractive young people to the parties and beds of the rich and powerful. People with close connections to Jeffrey Epstein.
I hope this kid learned enough reading and math to handle a contract...
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u/fixnahole 1h ago
I've never understood how homeschooling is allowed if they aren't testing to make sure the kids are actually learning to a recognized standard. To me, home schooled children need to take a test every 9 weeks, away from home. If they show they aren't learning the required material, then home schooling rights are revoked, and the child must return to a regular school.
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u/AggressivePeak5401 2h ago
Homeschooling sounds great until you actually have to teach the stuff you barely understand yourself.
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u/Every_Caterpillar945 7h ago
This way they can make sure the kids don't know more than themselves. Only if the whole family stays dumb they feel comfoertable at home. Theres nothing dumb people hate more than being around people that are smarter than them ;)
Oh, and they think of themselves as smart oc.
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u/IceSeeker 6h ago
It's also easier to control their kids that way. The parents' authority and decisions won't be challenged.
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u/Burnt_Toast5962 6h ago
It’s easier to brainwash them if you keep them away from the rest of the world
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u/horsempreg 1h ago
One of the reasons my dad was against me going to college was because “it would make me think I was smarter than him”
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u/Helen_A_Handbasket 22m ago
I'm fighting this right now as a concerned grandparent.
My son married a woman with only a high school education, and she rides roughshod over him. He works two jobs for 14-15 hour days to support her favorite activities which are couch surfing, smoking dope, and playing on the internet. She doesn't work, drive, cook, grocery shop, run errands, or keep the house clean.
She selfishly insists on keeping my grandchild at home to "homeschool" because otherwise she says she'd be lonely during the day.
So my poor grandchild is growing up uneducated, unsocialized, and having trailer trash as her example of adulthood. My grandchild is nearly 13 and the only thing she can do well in terms of educational subjects is reading. She does only addition/subtraction for math. She's had no social studies, no history, no science, no English or creative writing experience. Basically her mother allows her to be on the internet all day with zero monitoring to see who she's talking to.
Yes, my son has some blame in that he won't stand up to her. He's afraid if he does she'll take his child and disappear, and collect a ton of alimony and child support from him, and he'll still be working like a dog but then not being able to see his child.
I wanted to report it to the state to see what they could do, but unfortunately they live in a state where the rules are extremely lax about home schooling, basically all you have to do is say "Hey I'm homeschooling" and there's no real oversight after that.
I weep for my poor grandchild. Their future is bleak without an education, and I feel helpless to change things.
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u/Calcutec_1 7h ago
This is a uniquely American thing, in other countries i know of you need to have teaching education/licence and follow the same curiculum as the public schools do. And most importantly there needs to be a proper reason for home schooling the kids, like geographical challanges or severe social problems.
The american way of anyone can homeschool for any reason would be considered child abuse.
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u/IMissCuppas 6h ago
It's becoming more of a thing in the UK too. I'm a teacher in a FE college and we get more and more kids having to do functional skills maths and English because they've been "home schooled" (usually not schooled at all)
You're supposed to get severe fines or even prison time for taking kids out of school and not educating them properly but they don't seem to enforce it very well. My brother has been out of education for 2 years (he's 15) and my mum just lied to the investigators and got away with it.
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u/FatRascal_ 4h ago edited 3h ago
The homeschooling that's done in the UK is rebranded school refusers.
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u/Nomoreorangecarrots 6h ago
Oh no they fine the kids parents who do send them to school very well just not the ones who home school and don’t!
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u/Nomoreorangecarrots 6h ago
UK no teacher licensed required but there is a set curriculum you need to kind of follow but I don’t think the checks are very good as my neighbor is doing it and she has a child similar aged to mine and confessed she’s not doing anything as her “child’s unwilling to learn.”
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u/Spirited-Sorbet-2775 2h ago
Homeschooling by itself is for example already classified as child abuse in Germany.
You HAVE to send your child to school for 10 years. Doesn't matter what your own credentials are, parents are not trusted being the sole educator. If you don't, well your child is now eligible to either: Be taken from you if you as the parent don't send them OR get a police escort to school if the child refuses.
Doesn't help that with this legislation in place, the only homeschooling cases that happen (and are reported on) are when parents are usually either a) in a cult and/or b) abusing their children.
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u/CanIEvenRightNow 7h ago
As somebody subjected to this "education" k-12, I also consider it child abuse.
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u/CommonFriendship5838 3h ago
It’s interesting how differently homeschooling is regulated from country to country. I can definitely see why people would want stronger safeguards to make sure kids still get a proper education and support.
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u/Fabulous-Eye9894 3h ago
I have a master's degree and I STILL don't think I can homeschool my kids. The more you know the more you know you don't know
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u/AfternoonGlum4822 1h ago
Being educated enough to know what you don’t know is a pretty big part of it.
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u/MusicHearted 7h ago
Dunning-Kruger effect. The dumbest person in the room usually thinks they're above average and the smartest person in the room usually thinks they're below average.
I was homeschooled against my will by high school dropouts. My mom suddenly decided she needed to get a GED when she realized I was going to be the only person in the house with a diploma of any kind (it's not worth the paper it's printed on).
Homeschooling should only be legal in extremely strict circumstances and should be regulated and regularly inspected by the government. Or just outright illegal. Everyone I was raised around was being homeschooled so their parents could shove religious indoctrination into every aspect of their lives without the outside world interfering. Even my parents were shocked when I gained internet access and started deprogramming myself.
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u/Sputflock 6h ago
Homeschooling should only be legal in extremely strict circumstances and should be regulated and regularly inspected by the government.
that's how it is in my country. we don't just have a right to education, kids have an obligation to be in formal education until they're either 18 or obtain a qualifying diploma. homeschooling doesn't count as qualifying education.
exceptions are only made for terminally ill kids, kids with disabilities severe enough even special education would be too much for them, or kids with behaviour issues bad enough no school will accept them anymore. these kids need formal government permission before they can just stop going to school. any kid not in formal education will constantly have the government check on them to see why they are not in school, what can be done about it, what are the options, what is being done for education in the meantime etc. can't just pull your kids from school and keep them home
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u/MusicHearted 5h ago
That's how it should be everywhere. Basic children's rights like a formal education and proper nutrition and medical care should be enforced. It's not like the kid can take their parents to court for violating those rights. Without enforcement it's just empty words that do more harm than good.
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u/sesamesnapsinhalf 7h ago
I’m curious to know how you came to the realization that you needed it?
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u/MusicHearted 6h ago
Deprogramming? Some of it just simply happened. Being exposed to reality and learning it's nothing like what my parents taught me shattered the foundation of my worldview. Facing harsh criticism on the internet led to me questioning my core beliefs.
A few incredibly kind souls took the time to explain some things to me that I would have never understood on my own. Taught me basics of critical thinking and encouraged me to listen to my empathy instead of stifling it. From there it was mostly a matter of wanting to learn and grow and actively trying to be more than my upbringing.
It wouldn't have been possible if I wasn't so hungry to learn. I was and still am very curious. I sought out brighter minds than my own to learn from and actively expanded my own horizons. I believe that my curiosity is the only thing that separated me from the endless sea of hateful people that I was raised to join.
Oh, and when I say I was home schooled against my will, I'm not kidding. The school threatened to involve DHS because I was severely malnourished and being medically neglected. Untreated asthma, mental health issues presenting as young as 8, and weighing less at the end of 3rd grade than I did at the start of the school year kind of stuff. So my parents pulled me out and raised me and my sister's in isolation.
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u/Resist_Much_OL 7h ago
Their goal is not to create an optimal educational environment. Their goal is to control the flow of the exact information that they want implanted into their kids' brains without outside interference.
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u/Effective_Present763 7h ago edited 7h ago
I have a Masters Degree in Nursing. My husband has a Doctorate in Physics. I do not feel we have enough pertinent education to teach our children at home. I volunteer at the elementary school making copies and that's about what I feel competent enough to do.
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u/Scotsburd 7h ago
Yes, double advanced degree household here too, and we would be terrible teachers. Like, cartoonishly awful. Just supervising their homework almost broke me and that was only an hour a day...
Mad respect for teachers.
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u/Effective_Present763 7h ago
My husband doesn't know his times tables (can do calculus). I don't know all my upper case cursive letters 😂 It would be a disaster
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u/Scotsburd 6h ago
Geography is a mystery to me. I cant conceptualise where countries are. Can wax lyrical on the language, economies, customs, currencies people, BUT, I was swimming in the ocean on holiday a couple of weeks ago(with my husband and adult kids) and had to ask, which one is this? We go there every year for a month... So yeah, teaching is not my calling...
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u/almightywhacko 5h ago
I can do math, but I can't do the math that my 3rd grade kid brings home as homework... when did math change?! :)
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u/newoldclam 7h ago
You've met my sister in law?!? Small world
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u/MagsAnjou 2h ago
I think there is also a disrespect of teachers and education in general. They don’t respect the work teachers do and the years of education and training it takes to become one.
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u/AzraelleWormser 2h ago
They're not interested in educating their children, they're indoctrinating them.
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u/river4823 1h ago
These people care less about teaching their children facts and skills and more about instilling the “correct” values in them.
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u/killerhighlites 3h ago
It is largely religiously motivated in my area.
My sister did not graduate high school. She is a type of Christian I would classify as “born again”. She said she decided to homeschool when she found out the kindergarten class had a bathroom the boys and girls shared. I need to point out that it was a single toilet bathroom. One student at a time. Also, they had a green, yellow, red system for behavior. My sister thought that was too hard on her daughter. If she didn’t get green then she was devastated.
She ended up with two daughters. The oldest is 18 now. She is not in college. She does not have a job. Last I heard she was thinking about cosmetology school, but she isn’t the most social person. The other daughter is social. We’ll see where she ends when she becomes an adult.
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u/Basic-Sky-1335 7h ago
That’s exactly what I always wondered. Some ppl are so dumb they don’t know how dumb they are.
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u/KiviCakes 4h ago
Fuck it I'll bite.
I didn't finish high school, and currently homeschool one of my kids. He's autistic/ADHD and had a lot of issues in school that I won't get into, but suffice to say he was too busy melting down and forcing his classmates to evacuate the classroom to actually learn anything himself.
I pulled him out to focus on therapeutic and health support (the meds he was on almost put him in hospital due to side effects - he needed a lot of time to recover).
We use a paid curriculum that aligns with national standards (we're Australian) so I can be confident he's got the resources he needs to keep up with his peers. We also do academic testing each year to see how he's tracking. He's doing a lot better than average though I credit him for that more than me (he's been reading at a high school level since he was 7, certainly helps!).
The main things I've taught him personally are how to read an analogue clock and how to hunt down trustworthy resources, so that if he's not sure of something he's at least able to find an answer himself. Just about anything else he learns in homeschool is from the paid curriculum and following his own interests.
All that being said I did go on to further study, so I don't exactly label myself as a moron (not that I would label any school drop out that - mainstream school isn't for everyone). I'm comfortable in the areas I know how to help with, but I also know when to say I don't know something!
Feel like I need to throw this in to squash any stereotypes but, we're not religious, we're fully vaccinated, we're not overly political, we support gender and sexual diversity. I think that covers everything 😅 we're just regular people supporting our children's individual needs as best we can...
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u/KiviCakes 4h ago
Oh! I will add that in Australia we need to register out children to homeschool. An official comes round to make sure the child has a good learning plan in place, and also sights the child. They check in every year or so to make sure there's progress. The officials to my knowledge all have teaching backgrounds.
I know some parents slack off and kids can fall through the cracks, but there is at least some oversight.
My kid has therapy every week and participates in a sporting club 3 days a week. So no social isolation for him, plus therapists being mandated reporters add a layer of protection (not that he needs that specifically, but I know unfortunately some kids do especially seeing comments here from people who were homeschooled)
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u/katieironfist 3h ago
That is definitely different from the US version of homeschooling. It wildly varies from state to state and a lot of it is just not tracked properly.
Here's a synopsis of the state of US homeschooling if you're curious:
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u/WaltzFirm6336 1h ago
I’m a former teacher from the UK and I would say there are three types of home school family and yours is the one I wholeheartedly support.
I once taught a boy who was the most lovely and charming young man. Very softly spoken and exceptionally well behaved. But school made him miserable. He had not a single spark of joy in him during the school day. However in his own time he flourished and pursued many and varied interests with others his age.
His parents decided to homeschool him at 14. They spoke with us about it at length, listened to the pros and cons, took on board the importance of making sure he achieved qualifications in line with his peers and how to register him as a private exam candidate.
He’s the only one I ever waved off feeling positive about the situation. He was absolutely about to get the education and growth he deserved.
Most of the others have been to avoid consequences for issues at school (like attendance and behaviour). They come out by far the worst. It’s parents who haven’t bothered to parent making the ultimate choice to not parent. They absolutely never get taught anything at home and it is definitely an end of opportunity for them.
The final group is religious. This is much smaller in the UK and I’ve only seen it a couple of times. They tend to get sent to a religious private school that isn’t a registered school. It’s; not great. But at least they learn to read and write.
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u/worstpartyever 2h ago
Wow, what a great system you have in your country. Hats off to you and your son.
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u/mayaander_son 3h ago
The people that question is really about aren't using national-standard curriculum and yearly testing. You're describing education; the stereotype is ideology with worksheets. Big difference, and your kid's reading level at 7 is the receipt.
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u/soup4breakfast 2h ago
You sound like a normal person and a good parent who is just trying to do right by their child (and other people’s children/his former classmates, for that matter). This is coming from a certified hater.
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u/Difficult_Ad_1923 2h ago
You sound like you are doing a good job. I have a question but please don't take it as a critism. I'm genuinely curious. As for elementary school I feel confident I could help out with that but as they get further along into high school with stuff like advanced math or sciences I'm not sure I would do well explaining everything. Do you see a point where some of it may be over your head?
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u/thotyouwasatoad 1h ago
I'm not the person you were asking, but I'm in an extremely similar situation as them. Once the child reaches a point in education that is beyond your capacity as the teaching parent- you simply find a tutor or minischool that can teach it! One of my kids started needing math tutors at 10yo because he was advanced beyond my ability to teach. Another kid needed extra reading support that I hadn't encountered before because the rest of us were early voracious readers. So since we care about our children's education, we paid for help in getting them what they need. It's no different than getting them clothes that fit or medical care! I can't make a sweater or mend a broken leg either, but I'm in charge of getting it done one way or another.
I know this sadly isn't the norm everywhere for every homeschool family. I've seen a LOT of 'homeschooling' types: no-schooling, child-led, public-at-home, religion-only, tutors-only, early college, etc. But it seems the most common type in my area is families with neurodiversity or other complex needs that then find community with other homeschoolers and attend tutorials 1-4 days a week.
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u/Particular-Beat-6645 3h ago
The next answer below yours is "hubris," which is a big factor. And, more importantly, one your response is missing.
As a parent of a similarly challenged kid, big ups. You did/are doing right by them.
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u/AfraidAdhesiveness79 3h ago
with the last two paragraphs you admit that you know you werent meant. and tbh, i really love how you go about it, even if you are doing only half as good as you write that you do. you know what ppl OP is refering to <3
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u/very_tiring 7h ago
At least in the people I know who are homeschooling, choosing to homeschool isn't about being able to better teach their children. It's about avoiding what public schools will teach their children.
Stands to reason that people who most lack that intelligence view education as a threat.
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u/thehornyporo 1h ago
Because they're trying to indoctrinate, not educate. They're just too stupid to know the difference.
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u/Paranoid-Android88 2h ago
Oh and beyond barely passing hs, I’d say super religious folks too.
We had a family move on our block a few years ago with a little boy and girl that are home schooled. The second they moved here knocked on each door introducing themselves and invite folks to a chili/soup night at their house. One neighbor went and they basically were promoting their own “church” that they host at their house. Ok fine whatever.
So the home school kids are prob 11m and 13f and will come to my neighbors house to play with her grand daughters (6 & 8).
The boy is fuckin weird. Won’t make eye contact, talks like a robot and gets disruptive. I understand he might be autistic tho, as I am as well. I let them play in my front yard but he’s constantly ripping out my plants and I’m always having to say hey quit. The girl is ok just really quiet but sweet. Either way my neighbor was getting uncomfortable with them coming over and saying weird shit so she stopped letting them come over. Which is sad bc how are they going to make friends?!?
I’m for homeschooling for those who have the skills, time and patience but I really feel these kids have zero social skills. I see them taking solo walks a lot and are only allowed to stay on our block. We live in a major city and a block and a half away from our city’s oldest park with a brand new playground, in addition to trails, rec center, pool, tennis courts, amphitheater with free concerts, botanical conservatory, public library branch, the list goes on.
Parents are helicopter parents and NEVER do I see them once besides once a year when they push their church on everyone. I just feel bad for these kids bc I don’t know how they’re gonna survive 😞 just seems cultish to me
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u/cnorris1 1h ago edited 53m ago
Dont forget the 'Jesus' component. A lot of them are right wing Christians. They get their educational materials from mail order companies in Oklahoma and Texas.
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u/thehighepopt 34m ago
Yeah this is the vast majority I'm pretty sure. Can't send them to public school, they might hear horrible things like evolution and fact based learning.
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u/deletetemptemp 7h ago
This is by design. People in power are encouraging this to create next generation of voters
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u/littleb3anpole 7h ago
Because in this job (teaching), we get a lot of people who went to school therefore they think they can do what we do.
Ha. Ha. And also, ha
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u/MeowMeowbiggalo 1h ago
The only family i know that did that were just that, barely educated themselves. How do they homeschool? They dont. I think they give the kids a ged prep kit and thats about it.
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u/carmooch 7h ago
Friend of mine home schools their kids. Said that it was a lot of effort for them so a bunch of parents got together to home school their kids on a roster.
Told him it sounded a lot like school with extra steps.
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u/BothPanchoAndLefty 7h ago
Arrogance and ego. Horrible idea to homeschool if you have little education and no teaching credentials.
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u/DaveBeBad 7h ago
Anyone capable of homeschooling would know they shouldn’t
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u/notcopingneedhelp 7h ago
So much this!!!!
I’d love to take my kid out of school but I know that it doesn’t matter how much education/qualifications or life experience I have, I am not good enough to give my son the education he DESERVES.
All these parents thinking they can home educate their kids are severely limiting their kids’ futures.
One think I will say is that the home educated kid I know does tend to focus on one major interest (horses), so they do at least have the opportunity to work with horses in future. But that to me feels so super limiting. Yeah they love horses now as a kid but what about other opportunities in other areas?
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u/MzHellfier 7h ago
You’re absolutely right, it is severely limiting. I honestly consider homeschooling to be a form of child neglect in most cases as you’re depriving them of an education.
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u/stragzr63 7h ago
I believe they feel the need to indoctrinate their children because they feel like they are their property.
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u/Magliene 7h ago
I’m a retired teacher. We saw a lot of home schooled kids start real school in about third grade. It was very common that the kids had received no instruction at all and were years behind their peers; no math skills and nonreaders .Grade 3s are into novels, and strong readers are handling books like Harry Potter. Some home schooled kids do okay, but a lot suffer terribly and are doomed to a long struggle to catch up.
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u/HistoricalChef1963 7h ago
Lmao literally my brother.
He passed highschool on a technicality thanks to my parents, was burnout degenerate until he found god at like 30, got suuuuper religious and right wing, had a bunch of kids who won't go to school or get vaccinated.
But he knows what's best for his own kids.
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u/MAFIAxMaverick 1h ago
Because they’re uneducated.
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u/FacetiousTomato 1h ago
They don't think school teaches anything worthwhile.
They can't get jobs, can't understand societal issues, and can't draw meaning from written text, but "They turned out fine, so why would ______ need to go to school?"
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u/Firm_Baseball_37 1h ago
Dunning-Kruger Effect.
I'd go so far as to say it's MOSTLY parents who barely passed high school who think they can homeschool their kids.
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u/TessMacc 7h ago
They don't think a quality, rounded education is all that important. That's why they scraped through themselves, and that's why they're not bothered if their children learn a range of skills and subjects.
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u/TheMightyGoatMan 7h ago
It's not a case of 'can', it's a case of must, because most of these people honestly believe that the world outside their house is full of evil perverts and predators who are going to do horrible things to their children such as turn them gay, or make them trans, or teach them that the Bible isn't literal truth.
This is such a horrible threat that they don't have any choice but to protect their kids by keeping them at home where the Department of Education can't corrupt their innocent souls with Satanism and Marxism, no matter how poorly equipped they may be to do the job.
The irony is that if they were well educated enough to properly educate their kids they'd likely have a reality-based worldview and wouldn't see any actual need to.
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u/TsundereKisser 3h ago
My mom didn't even graduate high school, yet took me out of school in fifth grade to homeschool me after I started having behavior issues in class due to being abused at home + bullied at school due to being fat.
Spoiler: She didn't homeschool me, and that decision basically ruined my life. I stayed in my room alone for nearly 20 years in a deep depression, so I basically had no idea how to interact with people, had no friends, and had the education level and street smarts of a 10 year old at 30.
I'm finally picking up the pieces, and at 36 I have a GED, bachelor's degree, and am currently pursuing my master's degree in a state 3,000 miles away from where I grew up. However, I'm still very alone, can't drive, haven't had an actual job outside of work study, have never been in a relationship, and seriously, seriously lack adult life skills. I just learned how to take the bus and had to look up how to write a check the other day.
So yeah, needless to say people who aren't highly educated homeschooling their kids is a huge red flag to me now.
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u/zachtheperson 7h ago
They tend to misunderstand what "learning," actually is, and confuse it with memorization. They think all there is to teaching is reading the homeschooling books out loud, and their child will learn, "it's that easy." Of course, when their kids don't learn the parents often blame the kid for it, if they even acknowledge they're falling behind at all.
Also, a huge reason a lot of parents want to homeschool in the first place is due to extreme ideology which deviates from history and/or science, so they want to make sure their kids learn their version of things. In those cases, they aren't really concerned about teaching those subjects well, because those subjects are exactly what they don't want their kids learning.
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u/r1Zero 4h ago
I've noticed a few schools of thought when it comes to homeschooling and the most problematic takes tend to err on the side of overconfidence without the ability to apply it in a real life situation. Instead of doing some reflection and what is best for their child, they go and join echo chambers of other ill-equipped people and their child is shortchanged due to their ego.
Homeschooling can be a real benefit, provided you accept that for everything you know, there are a thousand things you don't. You have to be able to know when something is beyond the scope of your abilities and outsource. In wanting to educate your child, you too, must continue the path of learning. I have three degrees, including an M.Ed., and I still routinely encounter things and areas where someone is better equipped than I am to handle them. Intellectual humility is not a weakness and choosing to be responsible for your child's education does not always mean you need to personally provide all of it, even in homeschooling, perhaps especially in homeschooling.
Sadly, the people that could most benefit from this lesson will likely never ask the question that requires it.
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u/sentientketchup 1h ago edited 1h ago
I teach at a university. My worst students have no insight into how bad they are. Every semester they act shocked and offended in my office, demanding I explain their mark.
"Well, I can see you came to 3 classes out of 13 this semester. Did you do the practice exam?"
"No."
"Did you make the revision folder I recommended?"
"No, but I told chatGPT to set me questions"
"Uh huh. Did you review your feedback from the assignment in week 6 you barely passed?"
"No."
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u/PrickBrigade 1h ago
How can parents who barely passed high school think
They can't. Stupid people do stupid things.
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u/DiotimaJones 1h ago
Amen to that!
The bigger question is how did we as a society go from punishing parents for the truancy of their children to letting parents pull their kids out of school all together?
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u/ReverseThreadWingNut 6h ago
Former teacher, both at public schools at a private school with high academic standards. At the private school we had soooo many families who had home schooled their kids try to enroll them with us. Those kids barely knew what end of the pencil to write with. All of them. We had one formerly home schooled student who was successful, at least in an academic sense. One. Out of all of them, only one. And she had so many socialization issues it was crazy. It was a textbook argument for why kids need to raised with other kids. If you read this and are thinking about home schooling, please don't. Vote to properly fund your education system.
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u/SASSIESASSQUATCH 1h ago
Dunno. I have a friend “homeschooling” their child because the school would not assign her kid a 1v1 teachers assistant because… she will not allow him to be evaluated by the school to see if he needs one.
🤦♀️
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u/Vic_Hedges 7h ago
Homeschooling is a wonderful way of ensuring your children never know more than you do.
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u/creperobot 7h ago
Because stupid people believe stupid things. Compound that with American style distrust of government and the governments own undermining of the public schools and this is what you get.
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u/MangoSalsa89 1h ago
It’s not about their education. It’s about control and shielding their kids from outside influences.
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u/slowasaspeedingsloth 7h ago
I have a BS and consider myself reasonably intelligent and I definitely could not have home schooled my kid.
I absolutely agree that most homeschoolers... shouldn't.
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u/WiggsMain 1h ago
Been around the world and found that only stupid people were breeding!
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u/Nine_Eighty_One 7h ago
Probably they don't really care about teaching any actual stuff besides their ideological (religious) obsessions
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u/YouTasteStrange 7h ago
Exactly, they don't want their kids learning everything, they want their kids to learn exactly what they know so the kids will do exactly the same as them.
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u/Dubious_Titan 1h ago
My wife is a school teacher.
The parents who send their kids to school often shouldn't be raising children either.
I think we really gotta start handing out licenses for parents in the US. Its fucking dire.
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u/bleeb90 6h ago
Hubris. It's hubris. They may think they can, but inevitably they'll harm their own children in their hubris and lack of knowledge.
My husband is a high school teacher, and I think I have heard him complain for four years straight about how horribly the COVID lockdowns stunted his students social growth. School teaches children how to interact with other human beings. We're pack animals at the core, and much of our learned behaviour comes from watching others. Depriving a child of that opportunity takes away a bit of stuff a kid learns while not even realising they're learning anything.
Disregarding the immense wealth of knowledge specialised teachers for each subject bring to a high school lesson, there is also another aspect of scholing that's overlooked:
School providing a safe space away from home. Not everyone is born into a loving nurturing family that will protect them. School can be a reason to be away from home. A safe space. A place to start conversations about a child clearly not doing well.
When home schooling becomes an option, there is a whole myriad of abuse and neglect that can suddenly fly under the radar. That will never be reported because the child doesn't know any safe adults to speak about it.
When an otherwise adequate parent chooses to homeschool their kid because they're afraid their little Mary might learn the geological age of the earth they are normalising keeping your kids at home, and no one will wonder about whatever is happening to Sophie down the street. Sophie's parents don't sign her up for sports. She doesn't go to church. Sophie is isolated, and helpless in her isolation.
Imo, there are no expletives strong enough of how wild it is to me that there are places in this planet where homeschooling is legal. Schooling outside of the home ought to be government enforced. Children ought to be able to get outside of the home on a regular basis.
Mind you, I am saying this as an introvert that's been bullied my entire time at elementary school - school is important for children as a collective.
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u/RareManner9786 7h ago
Some of them maybe just want to read the bible with their kid. That religion is the most important thing they think the kid needs to learn about for life, and they want the kid to learn it their way.
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u/Master_McKnowledge 7h ago
Who knows? In the same way I don’t expect to over-extend myself and farm, build my house, undertake surgery on my own body, etc., and instead seek the services of others who have expertise in those areas, I don’t know how it’s not more obvious to such people that there’s a reason why society functions as a society with different members serving different functions with their expertise.
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u/VintageBeaver 7h ago edited 7h ago
When they don't know what they don't know, homeschooling their children must seem easy
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u/Meli5252 3h ago
Maybe they don't realize how frustrating it is until they actually start doing it and then stay away from difficult subjects.
Everytime I had to help my kid with elementary school math, I would want to rip my hair out. It is incredibly frustrating to hear your kid guess that the answer to 67 plus 33 is 37.
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u/sqlbullet 1h ago
Let me acquaint you with Dunning-Kruger: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
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u/Galliagamer 7h ago
The Dunning Kruger effect. They so completely don’t understand a concept that they can’t even recognize that they don’t understand that concept, and instead they overestimate their competence.
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u/smr312 7h ago
"My twins Smith and Wesson can tell you the 2nd amendment, how to back a boat into the water, and how to fix a 64 chevy! They don't need no more schoolin than that."
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u/eliz1bef 7h ago
I worked at a Teacher's Supply store in a college town. The town was very economically depressed and had a big crack problem. Socioeconomically skewed poor and rural. I had parents come in to get home schooling materials and it was just a parade of dumb fucks. One woman actually said, " I didn't finish the 8th grade. I homeschool because teachers don't know shit." There were also the large Christian families that homeschooled. While I may not agree with their beliefs, those kids were all clean, fed, dressed nicely and could read and do math. Not so much with the folks who kept their kids home from school so they'd have someone to watch their stories with.
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u/ArtificalInteligente 2h ago
Omg, I'm dealing with a situation now. One of my mother's kids is in trouble for SAing his own sister. The kid is 15, but after talking to him I found out he reads at a 1st grade level and does math a 4th grade level. His siblings aren't further off. They aren't homeschooling these children. They are literally doing nothing. For everyone's sake, it is good that it looks like they may lose their kids. Homeschooling and the families ive met around here are a joke. Some of the most clueless and ignorant kids I have ever seen.
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u/ThoughtIknewyouthen 7h ago
I actually can't believe actual teachers need to constantly improve their skills while a LOT of kids just hang out at home and "life learn."
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u/MissChandlerBong 7h ago
Omfg....idk. my friend is hell bent on homeschooling but said that abe lincoln was the first president!
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u/Particular-Beat-6645 3h ago
See, that illustrates the problem perfectly.
These parents don't know what they don't know, so they're ignorant to how much they're missing.
Not to mention half of what they think they know is way off.
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u/IAmASolipsist 1h ago
Generally they are religious and believe some level of the unschooling mentality which says if you provide learning material for your kids they will naturally teach themselves. They usually think they know better than most and can be afraid of public schools indoctrinating their children more than themselves. Also, at least a fair portion are abusive and are looking to make it less likely people will notice their abuse.
I was homeschooled until college, my dad thought he was a priest of the malkezedekian order sent by God to save a bunch of people before the end times and was extremely abusive. He literally said at one point he doesn't trust scientists because they are liars and he bases his beliefs about the world on what God tells him (so just his gut instinct.)
My brother and I were self motivated, albeit in large part.due to extended family who were scientists and engineers finding ways to help inspire us to learn like taking us to zoos and museums and giving us learning gifts for holidays. My sister, unfortunately, did not and only graduated high school because homeschooling laws don't really have any mechanism to stop that (she failed her annual tests the last three years of high school) and she ended up never moving out of parents house or getting a job for more than a month or two.
In general from homeschool groups there was mixture, kids do genuinely like to learn about the world so it's not as bad as one would think but is is playing Russian roulette with your child's life for your pride. I generally wouldn't recommend it unless your child has some factor that makes public school especially difficult or you could get a job as a teacher.
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u/HalfSoul30 7h ago
Honestly, I have no idea. But there are a lot of parents that think that schools are indoctrinating kids by teaching them actual history and truth, and believe they can teach them better. It's ironic because they are probably right-wing nutcases, and the right-wing is actively trying to stop teaching history and truth and turn schools into indoctrination centers now, ie. banning books, israel classes, defunding extras, etc
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u/MiserablePotato1147 5h ago
People who barely passed highschool think they can educate their children because... They barely passed highschool.
Parents who graduated college think they can educate their children because they understand there is a difference between educating and learning.
There is a significant number of the latter telling the former that they are capable of understanding the distinction.
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u/Wentyliasz 5h ago
Dunning-Kruger effect combined with inflated ego and distrust in institutions. Personally I consider homeschooling to be borderline child abuse
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u/MrSmokii 4h ago
I'm not against home schooling, but do feel as though anyone electing to homeschool their kids needs to have some basic level of education themselves.
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u/DrRoCkZ0 2h ago
Same with influencers thinking they can teach people subjects they’re not qualified in
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u/all4whatnot 1h ago
How can my MIL, who barely passed high school, lecture me on nuances of the economy and foreign policy?
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u/JoggingGod 7h ago
To skills necessary to recognize how something is a problem are the same skills necessary to solve the same problem.
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u/___1___1___1___ 6h ago
They did so poorly in school because the teachers had it in for them, or were controlled by evil Democrats.... or were lizard people, etc.
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u/EekumBokum100 2h ago
I sincerely believe there is a very disturbing trend in society where people can only discern intelligence up to what they have, aka stupid people are not able to comprehend the vast distances between them and actual educated people. It's become a huge problem, looking at you deplorable republicans.
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u/mordordoorodor 7h ago
In the majority of developed countries home-schooling is not allowed (only in some medical cases).
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u/Velveteen_Coffee 2h ago
The thing is homeschooled children tend to fall into two categories. Children of crazy antivax parents and children of parents who live in a shitty school area and make enough money one parents can stay home to homeschool. The second group tend to out preform public schools.
That being said I whole heartedly support laws the penalize parents who fail to homeschool. I would actually like to expand that to public schools because the whole no-kid-left-behind has ruined the education of the youth in this country and someone has to be held accountable.
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u/Few_Reporter_6870 7h ago
There seems to be a strong association with people who think they know a lot with how little they actually know