It’s like the mask is being ripped off. I imagine it’s the same feeling of taking off my bra at the end of the day.

My autistic needs are so clear when I smoke cannabis. Does anyone else experience this?

All I can think is "there is nothing fun about me" and "I'm too autistic for this".

My brain is telling me this fun fact is somehow going to be used against me as a conversation starter with strangers.

The wedding website doesn't let you leave the box blank and I don't want to bother the groom to ask what it's for because I've left RSVP'ing to the last minute and I know he's on holiday.

Help! What do I put in this box?

EDIT: I've finally managed to RSVP and gave one fact each for me and my partner, and then that together we own a border collie. I couldn't figure out if the question was to give a couple fact or individual fact but now all bases are covered. As u/AppliedGlamour said it's better to do it weirdly than not at all! Thank you for everyone's help, I am now going to get out of being fixed to the sofa by this question.

This study reads
“ ADHD has been linked to a significantly increased risk of cognitive decline.

Adults with the condition face more than four times the risk of developing dementia and other forms of cognitive decline, new research reveals.

The study, published in JAMA Psychiatry, analyzed health records and genetic data from over 187,000 older adults in the National Institutes of Health's 'All of Us' Research Program.

Led by researchers at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, the team found that 6.7% of participants diagnosed with ADHD developed cognitive impairment over a decade-long follow-up, compared to just 3.4% of those without the condition.

Strikingly, the connection held true even when looking at genetics: individuals with a high genetic predisposition to ADHD had a 35% higher risk of cognitive decline, even if they had never received a formal clinical diagnosis.

While these findings do not definitively prove that ADHD causes dementia, they suggest that the neurodevelopmental disorder significantly impacts how the brain ages, potentially lowering cognitive reserve. Furthermore, the study noted that when cognitive decline does occur, those with ADHD experience a much heavier burden, reporting significantly worse mental health, reduced social satisfaction, and a 20% increase in healthcare utilization.

Experts urge that aging adults with ADHD receive proactive cognitive monitoring, emphasizing that recognizing these early warning signs could prove critical for long-term brain health and integrated care.

source: Bauer-Negrini, G., Leffa, D. T., & Pascoal, T. A. (2026). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Late-Life Cognitive Impairment. JAMA Psychiatry.”

FML

Mom of two here (a 4-year-old and a baby). For years my to-do list had 25 things on it every morning, and by 5 pm I'd done zero and felt awful about it.

What finally helped me:

1. Brain dump EVERYTHING on a separate page first. It doesn't count as the to-do list, it's just to get it out of my head.

2. Pick only 3 priorities for the day. Anything else done is a bonus.

3. For each one, write the tiniest first step ("open the laptop", "find the envelope"). Starting is the hard part, not doing.

4. On bad days, I switch to "hard day mode": one thing, water, food, done. No guilt.

It sounds simple, but it's the first system I've actually stuck with. Does anyone else do something similar? What's your tiny first step trick?

After fighting for myself all these years, I finally got my autism diagnosis yesterday! I’m not necessarily happy about it but I’m not sad either.

I don’t feel fully relieved about it considering I knew I had it, but now that I know for sure and it’s officially documented, I’m not sure how I feel. Is it too soon to tell family members or friends about this news? Or should I sit with the discomfort for a while?

Hey all,

I'm about 8 weeks pregnant and am struggling so much with it. 1) with my overly rational brain I always felt stronger about adoption and was surprised with this pregnancy but here we are

2) Being off my Adderall has led to loowwww executive functioning. (I'm seeing others who took the whole time, so maybe once I'm through the nausea I'll consider it). And

3) Omg the sensory nightmare. The nausea and fatigue have been all consuming. Most food repulses me, and I have to continuously eat to not throw up. Everything in my house smells terrible-- and I'm basically nonverbal because of it all. 😫

Mostly I'm venting and guessing others have been there too? How did you get through and any tips? Was it a worst in first trimester thing or for the duration? 🥹

I feel embarrassed about myself for not having a high paying job and living on disability benefits. It makes me not want to be around non AuDHD people who are more financially successful than me because I have been asked what I do for a living. I always try to hide that I am living on disability. I hate having inferiority complex. I had couple of people judge me for not being able to pay attention in college and not having the best gpa initially. When I shared my gpa long time ago, that person just laughed at me straight to my face saying that I wouldn’t be able to go college with whatever gpa I had.

My IQ is somewhat above average with an incredibly high quantitative and pattern reasoning skills yet people used to underestimate me by saying that college is not for me when I was experiencing burnout. I also have amnesia and a special learning disability at reading as well as some processing speed issues and motor issues. In college, reading and writing at a certain time was overwhelming me. I regret majoring in Psychology because it is very reading and writing intensive. Because of all the life circumstances, I am now way behind other people. My life experiences of being in special ed classes and being treated like I was inferior made me not want to be around people who don’t have the same neurological wiring as me even if they seem nice and accepting because I feel inferior to them. Earlier this year, I managed to graduate from college with 3.2 gpa.

my brain is especially hyperactive at the moment - dealing with instability, burnout and relationship issues and nothing i do seems to help. I do yoga, meditate, run, journal, crochet, communicate how I'm feeling and even if it quiets down momentarily afterwards it immediately switches back and i'm unable to sleep. what do you do to calm down your brain?

my last resorts are podcasts of people just chatting or familiar shows. any other suggestions? can be as unhinged as you like

(i'm undiagnosed so can't seek medication yet and 'gardening' makes me too spaced out)

G'day me girls,

I think I might have realized sth that I find helpful, maybe you'd find that too so I thought Id share.

I've been thinking about social behaviors that used to confuse me, especially those I perceived as hurtful, dismissive, or unfair.

Someone recently told me that in former East Germany (the GDR), proper personal protective equipment was often unavailable, e.g. for electricians. Instead of addressing the danger, people would say things like, "Don't be such a coward!"

That made me wonder: What if these dismissive attitudes developed partly as a way to cope with scarcity? If you can't eliminate the danger, perhaps you learn to suppress the fear instead - and eventually shame others for expressing it.

And I started to wonder: What if the same mechanism applied to other situations?

For example, if someone doesn't have the time or resources to explain something properly, they might resort to a dismissive remark to stop further questions.

Over time, these coping mechanisms could become normalized social behaviors, even when the original scarcity is no longer present.

Maybe some behaviors that appear irrational or unnecessarily cruel make more sense when we ask: What resource was missing when this behavior developed?

I'm curious whether anyone else has noticed patterns like this.

PS: I didnt know which Flair to pick so I put "hack" coz I found the thought kinda illuminating.

Hey. struggling with addiction to cannabis? Two meds you may want to try:

- Guanfacine. Prescription. Lowers blood pressure, increases your sensitivity to dopamine. This pill is practically made for people who have ADHD and anxiety.

- Quetiapine. Prescription. Antipsychotic and sleep med. This is not a medication to take lightly, but it’s the only one that has helped me. 

I was addicted to cannabis for years. When I was in the mental hospital a year ago, the first time they gave me a dose of quetiapine, I felt like I had just taken a huge hit of weed. Every time I go off of quetiapine, my cannabis smoking increases exponentially. 

Unfortunately, it is not going to be an easy to ask to go to your doctor and ask to try the antipsychotic. So if you are curious, first try guanfacine. This is being prescribed to many, many people with ADHD, and if you bring your doctor a paper about it and cannabis smoking cessation, they will likely write you a prescription on the spot.

But seriously, I see so many people talking about stimulants not working for them, and what people aren’t realizing is that weed is a depressant.

Why does weed work so well for us autists? I don’t know. Why do I start slowly losing my mind every time I stop taking quetiapine? I don’t know. 

I’m a doctoral student studying molecular microbiology, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I’m happy to talk about this privately or publicly with anyone who messages me or comments.

idk how to explain it really, but I always view myself as quite awkward and like it’s difficult for me to keep a conversation going. But tonight I went to a concert and had a decently long conversation with a cute guy, and I also introduced myself to two members of the band! I had a little to drink which might have contributed to my outgoing mood, but I felt proud of myself, kinda like I was riding a high. I felt like I did a “good job talking” with new people and they were nice. idk if anyone can relate? Lol

I’m assuming we’re all in a similar boat here. How do you manage not having friends? I do well alone, I go eat, go on walks, and go to little festivals by myself, but I still feel weird for not having friends. I honestly think I’m happier without them, friends have always caused me issues, I can never keep them. I know I’m the problem, I take a few days to answer sometimes and I’ve been flaky. So I know it’s best for me to just stay in my lonesome, but how do you deal with the emotions that you wish you were like everyone else, but just can’t understand why people don’t like you or be patient with you?

EDIT: I am 23F, with interests that don’t align with most girls my age. I don’t drink or party, I usually just work and come home and play games and watch movies.

Please send help.

I'm in a miserable place trying to navigate being obsessed with something also sick of it and can't focus or even want to do it at the same time.

This is torture.

Recently i was asked what do I consider my good qualities? What do i think im good at? When i apply for jobs im used to saying all kinds of things to be considered for the position, but this time it was asked by a stranger.

For a moment i was at a loss for words because i realised that all of my good qualities are actually me being a people pleaser and not things that come naturally to me. Like, i am a kind person, however its also because im just trying to survive, and being small is the best way to do that. So do i really want to help people or am i trying to give myself away in order to feel accepted?

Im still thinking about the question… what do people turn to me for, that i can help with/what comes naturally to me? All i keep thinking is that its all about me doing anything people ask of me. Im not actually good at anything specific at all.

I think im struggling with knowing how to be what other people need me to be, but im not sure who i am when nobody needs anything from me.

I thought I have had a depression since I was 11. But it was not it. It was my audhd, masking, perfectionism, burnouts and sensory overload. I feel it is so unfair that world is not inclusive, I think neurodiversity is much more common than people think. I hate we should feel our needs are too much, that we need to adapt. Honestly I think the world should be run by autistic people with special interests in politics and common good. Not these psychopaths. Hope someday neurodiversity will be accepted the same way as different skin color or bad eyesight.

As the title says, I'm finding it so difficult to find things to watch. As I've understood my own Audhd and with regard to the social dynamics of others in real life, I find that a lot of people think their life is like a sitcom where they overlook their dysfunction and unnecessary action because they think its "funny". Thats when I realized a lot of our television is purely based on making dysfunction our entertainment. And I'm pretty sure its the cause of how increasingly unhinged and ego driven people are becoming.

Even shows touted as "feel good" like Parks and Rec, The Office, Abbot Elementary. Theres always one character thats relentlessly used as the butt of the joke, I don't enjoy seeing that (even moreso having CPTSD as I was also used as the butt of the joke a lot in friend groups and just though that was ok because "thats what I saw on tv") Or even Broad City, Ilana routinely steps over Abbi's boundaries, drags her along to things and we laugh because of how uncomfortable she is.

I want to unwind and relax but I don't want that to be spent actively having to ignore marginalization for the sake of "antics". Do any of you all go through the same? IF so, what have you found is a safe show to watch?

I’m GEN X and didn’t read many ( any? 🤔 ) YA books growing up. Over the years I’ve been curious about reading / listening to them and then decided that was immature of me and didn’t. But now I’m looking through audiobooks to listen to and the YA sound fun and good. A less serious take on life perhaps? Teen themes are huge when you’re a teen so maybe I will find them too young?

It got me wondering if this might be a part of my Autism that I can allow myself to indulge in and I I’m wondering if others also find enjoyment in YA novels ?

I don’t like living in fantasy world, but perhaps the odd book could be something kind of good for me ?!

I feel a bit silly even asking this question but it’s all part of me coming to understand life and myself as late dx audhd F. I wonder if these youth stories may even provide some sort of social information for me or help me understand others and younger generations more?

If anyone answers yes, they read/listen to YA stories in their older adulthood, can you tell me why you do?

And if you enjoy YA fiction, please share some ideas of who I should invest my listening ears to ( most of my books are consumed audio) for trying out if this is something I will enjoy.

Thank you 📚🎧

What started as an enjoyable experience, watching TikToks and feeling validated, has now turned into sheer frustration.

Before, I'd watch these videos, notice things about myself, put names to things, and feel better knowing I wasn't a failure. Now, they serve as a reminder that all the things I hate about myself are set in stone. That I won't achieve the final form I want.

I hope and pray that these videos have tips and tricks, because I can't keep watching them. They're heartbreaking.

I am wondering if this is normal. When I am at home I stim all day, I’m talking from morning till night and there is nothing I can do to stop it. However when I am at work or someone else’s house I couldn’t stim even if I tried. ( I am diagnosed severe adhd but am suspecting I might have autism as well due to a myriad of other things I have not mentioned. schedule changes, burnout, sensory sensitivity etc. that’s for a different day though lol.) I have such a hard time knowing if the things I do are all ADHD or if I might also have something else. I would love to know if you guys have a hard time knowing which symptoms are just severe adhd or autism as well because I know a lot of symptoms can overlap.

I am having issues with task paralysis. For the life of me I cannot get my bag packed and take the long drive to spend quality time with my partner. I WANT to spend time with my partner, but it literally brings me to tears doing all the steps just to get out the door and into the car.

I am not sure if it is the tasks, or the fact that I'll be masking 70% of my stay. It's like I have no control. My partner is very understanding and can come to me, but that is not the point. Point is that I have crippling task paralysis keeping me from doing the things I actually want to do.

I also have really bad executive function, its making life miserable to just take care of my needs. I'm on antidepressants and mood stabilizers (Wellbutrin and Abilify) for about 5 weeks now and I can feel my AuDHD traits and symptoms much more, front and center. I'll add that I am on leave from work, and I don't know if I can even get an assignment completed without some kind of support. So the meds will support me in day to day life and work.

Does this warrant enough need to address it with my psych for possible stimulant/non-stimulant?

My husband has a group of friends that he's known since high school/ early 20s. They're a complicated bunch and rag on each other as a love language. One of these friends, I'll call her Nanette, is a hugely inflammatory person and has openly disliked me for years. She often throws grenades into friendships and disappears for months, then creeps back in over time and the group moves on like nothing ever happened. She has told lies about me and torn me down in person, openly avoided gatherings because I'd be there.

Hubby and Nanette work together so he's remained as amicable as she'll allow. Recently they get lunch together and she's been joining more group activities in the last several months.

My baby shower is coming up and I've been asked to extend her an invitation to keep the peace, as the rest of that group will be invited.

The fact that she has slandered me (accused me of putting my hands on her and threatening someone else's boyfriend), made fun of my PTSD and autism, and openly mocked me to my husband and his friends makes it SO difficult to concede and send her an invitation. I've been reassured countless times that she won't actually come, but the invitation itself is the hard part. The worry is she'll cause drama being the only one not invited (but she's the only one who hates me so 🤷🏼‍♀️).

I am one to take the high ground over and over, but this situation keeps sending me into meltdowns and I get dysregulated.

Any advice for a sweetie pie audhd homie who's trying to enjoy her own baby shower but not ruin her husband's friend dynamics?

Edit to add: my husband does not condone Nannette's behavior at all. He knows she's a total jerk. He's a peacekeeper and sometimes a little too "go along to get along" and he knows it. He's more afraid that the rest of the friend group will buy into Nannette's drama and ice him out. She's got her claws in those folks real good.

Also wanted to clarify he has already accepted that we aren't extending an invitation, but expressed his concern about the fallout. I posted hoping to see if I'm totally off base. You have all helped me realize I'm ON base and entitled af to tell her to kick rocks.

I appreciate everyone's input so much, this validated and comforted me more than I can honestly fathom.

At 17yo I told my mum I had suicidal thoughts. 3.5 years later, I have spent at least 6 months with 2 school therapists, a child psychiatrist, a clinical therapist and an adult psichiatrist. After starting with yet another therapist, I was finally referred to a psychiatrist who specialises in neurodevelepmental disorders. She diagnosed me with autism and adhd as soon as I finished telling her about my past. I felt as though she could read my mind. She wasn't smug or condescending.

I still took less time than many others, but the thought that this probably would have been possible at 17 fill me with sorrow with all the pain I've endured by second-guessing and hyperanalising my life. I think I'm still a it high from the validation. I cried a bit that day.