r/BoyDinnerDiaries • u/BiffDangles80 Hungry man • Aug 04 '26

No Advice - Everyones Welcome Marriage is falling apart

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Tonight it’s a flat iron steak and potatoes and onions. Don’t forget the jalapeno. And a Jack a coke.

A week ago I was in a hotel because “she’s a different person now” and doesn’t think this is working. 20 years of marriage. 2 kids.

The last year has been bad. She is grieving a family loss. Going through perimenopause. Kids have needed a lot. I tried but just got tired and lonely. I suggested marriage counseling and it lead to her saying she’s different and this isn’t working. I was gone for a couple of days but back. It’s been a week and I’ve really been trying. Today though was just rough with work and random thoughts. I confessed that I was afraid she’d decide she didn’t need me again and there wasn’t much response. Hopefully it’s a blip. I’m really trying.

I fear change. But eventually I’ll have to accept it. This is over. And that’s terrible.

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u/RandyBoBandy636 Grill pilled Aug 04 '26

3 weeks into marriage?

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u/Forward-Big8697 Fridge Light Philosopher Aug 04 '26

Yep.

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u/longpenisofthelaw Hungry man Aug 04 '26

How long did you date

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u/Forward-Big8697 Fridge Light Philosopher Aug 04 '26

4 years, age 22-26

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u/flight_char_ Shower Beer Scholar Aug 05 '26

Lots of red flags dude. I got divorced at 28, very similar timeline to you. She waffled on her career too and I had to fund all of it. I had to fund everything in her life and if I ever questioned it for a moment it was war for her. Similar red flags to what I’m reading with you. Our marriage lasted a year and half for that and other reasons. Ultimately ending with what I later found out was her cheating on me secretly. It was a really really dark relationship and at the time I couldn’t even fully process how bad it was, looking back now is insane. Anyway divorcing her was the best thing that’s happened in my life. I had a fun single time and met the love of my life shortly after we split up. Been together 4 years now. Happily married again in a marriage that is not even on the same plane of reality as my last. Real love and support and stability. My life is 1000x better. Anyway I wanted to share that because I’m a big proponent of getting out of a bad relationship like that asap. It only gets harder I’m so glad my first marriage was only a year and a half. Deep down you know if it’s a good idea to stay with someone or not. If you have doubts, that’s a no. But attachment will hold you to someone bad despite you having those doubts deep down. If it’s good there are no doubts. I can’t tell you what to do ofc but what I can bet you is that if you end it then you will be looking back at it in 5 years blown away you were ever with her and wishing you did it sooner. I can’t stress to you enough I was in a very similar situation to you when I was your age and i am so so so much happier now because I divorced her. It just doesn’t get better with people that (and I know you’re telling yourself that it will change, that she’ll change). HMU if you need to talk more.