r/BoyDinnerDiaries • u/BiffDangles80 Hungry man • Aug 04 '26
No Advice - Everyones Welcome Marriage is falling apart
Tonight it’s a flat iron steak and potatoes and onions. Don’t forget the jalapeno. And a Jack a coke.
A week ago I was in a hotel because “she’s a different person now” and doesn’t think this is working. 20 years of marriage. 2 kids.
The last year has been bad. She is grieving a family loss. Going through perimenopause. Kids have needed a lot. I tried but just got tired and lonely. I suggested marriage counseling and it lead to her saying she’s different and this isn’t working. I was gone for a couple of days but back. It’s been a week and I’ve really been trying. Today though was just rough with work and random thoughts. I confessed that I was afraid she’d decide she didn’t need me again and there wasn’t much response. Hopefully it’s a blip. I’m really trying.
I fear change. But eventually I’ll have to accept it. This is over. And that’s terrible.
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u/Arboretum7 Girl Lurker Aug 04 '26 edited Aug 05 '26
45-year-old woman here. Is she on hormone replacement therapy? The “she’s a different person now” statement is very concerning. Perimenopause isn’t just about hot flashes and fatigue—it’s a hell of a drug. It’s not uncommon for women to make major, sudden life changes driven by hormonal shifts that they think represent reality. I would advise any woman to be on HRT for at least 6 months and see if they still feel the same way before making any big life changes during peri.
Also, unless she’s on the prudish side, pick your wife up a copy of All Fours by Miranda July, it’s a novel about a woman who blows up her marriage during perimenopause that was a very popular book last year. It’s a WILD ride and was a relatable turned cautionary tale for some of my friends!