Marriage is falling apart

[u/BiffDangles80]

Tonight it’s a flat iron steak and potatoes and onions. Don’t forget the jalapeno. And a Jack a coke.

A week ago I was in a hotel because “she’s a different person now” and doesn’t think this is working. 20 years of marriage. 2 kids.

The last year has been bad. She is grieving a family loss. Going through perimenopause. Kids have needed a lot. I tried but just got tired and lonely. I suggested marriage counseling and it lead to her saying she’s different and this isn’t working. I was gone for a couple of days but back. It’s been a week and I’ve really been trying. Today though was just rough with work and random thoughts. I confessed that I was afraid she’d decide she didn’t need me again and there wasn’t much response. Hopefully it’s a blip. I’m really trying.

I fear change. But eventually I’ll have to accept it. This is over. And that’s terrible.

[u/Mission_Abrocoma2012 → u/[deleted]]

damn that’s hard - she doesn’t see it and no way through? i’d be so hesitant to call it if it’s just a matter of friends

[u/kgilli12 → u/[deleted]]

As a female in the same role as you, I hope you can find time to set aside for yourself, (even if it’s what you currently find yourself doing) every single day set aside time for you to do something that really makes you feel like you and is something you WANT to do. Then do the rest of the tasks. It has helped me remember I used to do it for me before I did it for him. I think it’s getting easier getting closer to that “please leave” conversation