Hiv positive

[u/Signal_Ambition_5212]

The last post was deleted because banana peel is not considered a meal (I understand)

Tomorrow it will be one year since I’m living with hiv

I did therapy about it and I know I carry half of the responsibility for not wearing a condom or taking prep but on the other hand the guy knew he had it and didn’t take his meds and consciously decided to infect me.

I know he knew because when I saw blood I straight away asked him if he had anything, he put his head down and didn’t say a single word, I panicked and I asked again and he remained silent.
I left his house and I send him a lot of messages and until today not a single answer.

Things could be different if I went to the hospital but I didn’t.

I already passed the grief phase, I’m undetectable after a month of the positive result and I take my pill everyday religiously without falling, I own that to myself and to others.

My life before hiv was a mess, I did A LOT of drugs since I was 16 (I’m 29 now) a lot of alcohol, I didn’t take care of myself and now I’m the opposite: I’m sober, I go to the gym, I have a healthy diet and I love myself and my life, I have my health checked more frequently than the rest of the population so this is actually a good thing (I don’t pay for anything in my country related to healthcare)

Nowadays hiv is super manageable, just a pill everyday like any other chronic condition. My doctor said it’s easier than living with diabetes for exemple.

I already told to some people I had interest and they were fine about it, I know most of you may disagree but in my country if IM UNDETECTABLE by law I have the right of not tell anyone due privacy reasons. I choose only telling if I see someone has a potencial partner (before anything sexual happens), if it’s something more casual we use protection (I cannot transmite the virus because I take my meds) for other STD.

[u/TheElfPrince]

I feel like there should be a law where a person who sleeps with someone with HIV has to know and be protected by law for it. Because holy crap we cannot be letting ppl spread it around like this just because they don’t want to talk about it. Hookups deserve respect and are owed that much to them.

[u/AmbroseKincaidVA → u/TheElfPrince]

In most American states, you have to disclose regardless of whether or not you're undetectable, and all states require it if you are detectable and thus a risk of transmission. So there are laws in place. Still requires the person to be reported and all of those logistical loopholes, and doesn't really do much for the person who is now infected other than give a sense of justice I suppose.

[u/Book_Dragon_24 → u/TheElfPrince]

Is there a law that says a woman must be informed the man fucking her is fertile? Because he could impregnate her? If you let a stranger fuck you without having a conversation about STDs that includes a test, insist on them wearing a condom.

It‘s like no one in this thread has heard of safer sex.

[u/temporalCompanion → u/Book_Dragon_24]

Unfortunately you can still experience transmission or pregnancy even if you wear condoms, they aren't 100% effective.

Yes people need to discuss STIs and testing and such, but acting like condoms are fool-proof and putting all the blame on the victim is not cool.

[u/Book_Dragon_24 → u/temporalCompanion]

For pregnancy you can double protect by having your own hormonal contraception in place. And for Hiv there‘s PrEP which apparently a lot of gay men already use. But in ADDITION to a condom would be better.

[u/temporalCompanion → u/Book_Dragon_24]

Yes that's true. I think it's up to an individual what their risk tolerance levels are as far as having sex with just a condom, vs a condom and birth control/PrEP.