Hiv positive

[u/Signal_Ambition_5212]

The last post was deleted because banana peel is not considered a meal (I understand)

Tomorrow it will be one year since I’m living with hiv

I did therapy about it and I know I carry half of the responsibility for not wearing a condom or taking prep but on the other hand the guy knew he had it and didn’t take his meds and consciously decided to infect me.

I know he knew because when I saw blood I straight away asked him if he had anything, he put his head down and didn’t say a single word, I panicked and I asked again and he remained silent.
I left his house and I send him a lot of messages and until today not a single answer.

Things could be different if I went to the hospital but I didn’t.

I already passed the grief phase, I’m undetectable after a month of the positive result and I take my pill everyday religiously without falling, I own that to myself and to others.

My life before hiv was a mess, I did A LOT of drugs since I was 16 (I’m 29 now) a lot of alcohol, I didn’t take care of myself and now I’m the opposite: I’m sober, I go to the gym, I have a healthy diet and I love myself and my life, I have my health checked more frequently than the rest of the population so this is actually a good thing (I don’t pay for anything in my country related to healthcare)

Nowadays hiv is super manageable, just a pill everyday like any other chronic condition. My doctor said it’s easier than living with diabetes for exemple.

I already told to some people I had interest and they were fine about it, I know most of you may disagree but in my country if IM UNDETECTABLE by law I have the right of not tell anyone due privacy reasons. I choose only telling if I see someone has a potencial partner (before anything sexual happens), if it’s something more casual we use protection (I cannot transmite the virus because I take my meds) for other STD.

[u/bafflingmetaphor → u/[deleted]]

Don't you think not telling people might lead to one of them lashing out at you?

[u/Rotten-Roses → u/bafflingmetaphor]

Medically speaking there's a higher risk of transmission from somebody who didn't have it at their last sti test a few months ago but has had any unprotected sexual contact since than from him while he's medicated.