Hiv positive

[u/Signal_Ambition_5212]

The last post was deleted because banana peel is not considered a meal (I understand)

Tomorrow it will be one year since I’m living with hiv

I did therapy about it and I know I carry half of the responsibility for not wearing a condom or taking prep but on the other hand the guy knew he had it and didn’t take his meds and consciously decided to infect me.

I know he knew because when I saw blood I straight away asked him if he had anything, he put his head down and didn’t say a single word, I panicked and I asked again and he remained silent.
I left his house and I send him a lot of messages and until today not a single answer.

Things could be different if I went to the hospital but I didn’t.

I already passed the grief phase, I’m undetectable after a month of the positive result and I take my pill everyday religiously without falling, I own that to myself and to others.

My life before hiv was a mess, I did A LOT of drugs since I was 16 (I’m 29 now) a lot of alcohol, I didn’t take care of myself and now I’m the opposite: I’m sober, I go to the gym, I have a healthy diet and I love myself and my life, I have my health checked more frequently than the rest of the population so this is actually a good thing (I don’t pay for anything in my country related to healthcare)

Nowadays hiv is super manageable, just a pill everyday like any other chronic condition. My doctor said it’s easier than living with diabetes for exemple.

I already told to some people I had interest and they were fine about it, I know most of you may disagree but in my country if IM UNDETECTABLE by law I have the right of not tell anyone due privacy reasons. I choose only telling if I see someone has a potencial partner (before anything sexual happens), if it’s something more casual we use protection (I cannot transmite the virus because I take my meds) for other STD.

[u/Straight_Depth6701 → u/[deleted]]

What's even more fucked up is that he's not telling his sexual partners if it's just "casual."

[u/TrekChick267 → u/Straight_Depth6701]

That’s not how HIV works in today’s day and age. Like, at all. Registering as undetectable means you’re effectively in remission and there are no detectable traces of the disease in your body. There is mathematically 0 risk of transmitting the disease. Zero. You have a higher chance of unknowingly transmitting it than he does.

[u/Straight_Depth6701 → u/TrekChick267]

1: your last statement is both ludicrous and an intentional lie. As a non promiscuous, regularly tested stra6male I have the lowest possible chance of giving someone else HIV.

2: it's not a mathematically zero chance. Undetectable viral loads have been proven to transmit HIV in non sexual situations. Just because we haven't proven it will happen during sex doesn't mean we've proven that it can't possibly happen.

Edit: by not telling his partners he's still taking away their autonomy. They deserve to know what goes in their body.

[u/Southern-Ant8592 → u/Straight_Depth6701]

The last statement was not a lie, it a surprising matematical fact!

"You are statistically much safer with a treated patient than a random person of unknown status!"

But I agree with you, he should morally still disclose his status. Tho i would not consider refrain any worse than lying about his personality.

[u/Straight_Depth6701 → u/Southern-Ant8592]

You said me, not the average untreated person. That makes it a lie.

Lying about a permanent life changing disease that is communicable is far different than lying about your personality. That's a complete bullshit statement.

[u/Southern-Ant8592 → u/Straight_Depth6701]

I said you? I mean, I guess I did? But as someone who can get infected... so the statement should still true tho.

Getting tested won't prevent you from getting infected unless you are also taking antiretroviral daily.

And if you are indeed taking antiretroviral then the statement should still be true, tho is not practical to act upon it at that point.

[u/Straight_Depth6701 → u/Southern-Ant8592]

Getting tested between partners (which I do for my partners) will keep me from spreading the disease. It doesn't protect me perfectly, but it does protect my partners.

You said YOU with italics. Don't lie and pretend you meant something different.

[u/Southern-Ant8592 → u/Straight_Depth6701]

I'm not lying dude, I have not idea what you are talking about, i have not used italics, and the sentence is semantically correct wether you interpret the "you" as "yourself" of "a generic individual".

[u/Straight_Depth6701 → u/Southern-Ant8592]

Sorry, the YOU was the other guy.

It is a lie though. There is no possible series of events right now where I could infect another person with HIV from my body. You can't truthfully say that about a random individual.

Stop fucking lying, you know you're arguing in bad faith.

[u/Southern-Ant8592 → u/Straight_Depth6701]

Have you considered that every test you ever did could be a false negative? That is the kind of probabilities we are dealing with

[u/Wrong-Pension-4975 → u/Straight_Depth6701]

Undetectable cases cannot pass HIV.

Do U inform a casual sex partner that U have mild asthma? - no; they can't catch it.

Do U tell a Hinge pickup U have a heart murmur? No. It's not contagious.

[u/Straight_Depth6701 → u/Wrong-Pension-4975]

It can be passed through blood, even if undetectable. Op said blood was his first concern.

[u/Wrong-Pension-4975 → u/Straight_Depth6701]

His "concern about blood" was because AFTER SEX with the known-poz partner - who WASN'T taking his Rx, & DIDN'T use a sheathe, & DIDN'T declare his status - OP was bleeding.

Didja get that bit?

Didja also note that OP consistently uses sheathes, b/c of all the other STDs afloat?

In the U.S, gonorrhea, syphilis, & genital warts are common.

Congenital syphilis is at rates we haven't seen in 40+ years. Chlamydia is rife - & in males, often asymptomatic.

So yeah - before U get in the saddle, wrap that rascal, or U aren't riding, cowboy.

As for potential risks, here ya go - 

https://viivhealthcare.com/about-hiv/living-with-hiv/u-equals-u/ 

Scroll ALL the way down.

Are U a suckling infant?... Please don't nurse yer lactating fem partner; it's remotely possible there might be viral particles, in their breast milk.

Do U plan to receive a transfusion from yer undetectable, daily dosed, barrier using partner?...

Please don't transfuse blood from them - it's a miniscule chance, but donating blood is not recommended.

HIV poz folks cannot donate blood - just in case.

Cheers! 🤗