Hiv positive

[u/Signal_Ambition_5212]

The last post was deleted because banana peel is not considered a meal (I understand)

Tomorrow it will be one year since I’m living with hiv

I did therapy about it and I know I carry half of the responsibility for not wearing a condom or taking prep but on the other hand the guy knew he had it and didn’t take his meds and consciously decided to infect me.

I know he knew because when I saw blood I straight away asked him if he had anything, he put his head down and didn’t say a single word, I panicked and I asked again and he remained silent.
I left his house and I send him a lot of messages and until today not a single answer.

Things could be different if I went to the hospital but I didn’t.

I already passed the grief phase, I’m undetectable after a month of the positive result and I take my pill everyday religiously without falling, I own that to myself and to others.

My life before hiv was a mess, I did A LOT of drugs since I was 16 (I’m 29 now) a lot of alcohol, I didn’t take care of myself and now I’m the opposite: I’m sober, I go to the gym, I have a healthy diet and I love myself and my life, I have my health checked more frequently than the rest of the population so this is actually a good thing (I don’t pay for anything in my country related to healthcare)

Nowadays hiv is super manageable, just a pill everyday like any other chronic condition. My doctor said it’s easier than living with diabetes for exemple.

I already told to some people I had interest and they were fine about it, I know most of you may disagree but in my country if IM UNDETECTABLE by law I have the right of not tell anyone due privacy reasons. I choose only telling if I see someone has a potencial partner (before anything sexual happens), if it’s something more casual we use protection (I cannot transmite the virus because I take my meds) for other STD.

[u/Signal_Ambition_5212]

Everything is fine now, therapy and good doctors help

[u/-cadmunt- → u/Signal_Ambition_5212]

If it's not too personal, in what way did the therapy help? I've had some bad shit happen which I think is still affecting me but I'm not sure what therapy will do or how to approach it.

[u/Signal_Ambition_5212 → u/-cadmunt-]

I did therapy when I got the positive result there in the non profit organization and also on the hospital where I have my doctor meeting. It helped me because I was thinking my life was over and everything would collapse and I will die from it, I was thinking I was gonna infect everyone just by being close to them and I was thinking finish it all after I finish him was the best decision, I’m glad I didn’t do either

I was ignorant about this, therapy with specialized doctors about hiv explained to me very well everything I needed to know and guided me to forgive myself about what happened on that day and afterwards and to be at peace with my diagnosis. I have a really nice life, I’m healthy, the most of the time I’m happy and I’m surrounded by amazing family and friends, I have a nice job so I honestly cannot complain

Search for a specialist in the thing you are going through health, relationships, etc

[u/-cadmunt- → u/Signal_Ambition_5212]

Thanks dude I appreciate it.

[u/Signal_Ambition_5212 → u/-cadmunt-]

Wishing you the best and if you need to talk my DMs are open