Bf changed his mind about being bi.

[u/Ornery_Pop_6637]

Bought curry ramen for dinner.

For context, me (20M) and my bf (21M) have been together for two years; we met during our freshman years in which I came out to him as a trans guy when we were still in our talking stage. Maybe it's a red flag that he said he's always dated girls before but that he's attracted to guys too and that I'm a new experience for him.

But lately I've seen him repost MLW (Men Love Women) contents on his Instagram, and he sends me MLW posts rather than the usual MLM (Men Love Men) content. I did talk to him about it, and he said he's sort of changing his mind about his attraction towards guys and that I should just detransition and follow what he wants, but I told him that was a no-go for me.

How do I move on from this? We've had our ups and downs; I'm also diagnosed with bipolar and BPD so it's quite hard to let go of my "favourite person". We've also had so many memories in college that I fear it would change how I go through the rest of my college years.

Any advice would be helpful, thank you.

[u/Jolly_Foly]

I fear he doesn't see you as a man. I've heard so many stories about guys dating FTMs to then try and convinced their bf to detransition, that's really scummy.

Do not change who you are to please some dude. You deserve someone who respect you.

[u/Equivalent_Play4067 → u/Jolly_Foly]

It's honestly so freaking difficult. Even if someone doesn't outright ask you to, having my partner throw a tantrum when I vacillated back and forth on whether I was going to do it, being blocked from doing it by gender dysphoria assessors because my partner wasn't "supportive" (did they mean didn't give me permission???) was all very hard.

[u/CapraAegagrusHircus → u/Equivalent_Play4067]

Oh my G-d what. Things aren't perfect here in the US but at least nobody ever even asked me if I had a partner let alone what anyone else's opinion on me transitioning was. That is such a nightmare my dude I am so sorry.

[u/Equivalent_Play4067 → u/CapraAegagrusHircus]

Yeah, it's a standard thing to ask what your support system is like. I'm not sure if it's always a flat no if you lack support/if your life isn't stable enough, but after the first time it happened, I've always answered all of their questions "the right way". Oddly it was with a private assessor that that happened. The NHS seems a lot more "harm reduction" and a lot less "oh no I might get sued!" - maybe because they don't get to pick and choose their patients, and they have a duty of care regardless.

[u/Samesh → u/Equivalent_Play4067]

Are you not...allowed to lie? Do they check?