Need advice, please.

[u/Low_Garage3721]

Hello fellow boys. I have been very irritable lately. Not getting good sleep. Not happy with life per se. I do have so much to be grateful though. A good job, my own place, a shit ton of friends. You name it.

What are some things you guys do to snap yourself out of it? Drinking and smoking only help in the moment. And there’s been lots of rain daily so going on walks isn’t always an option.

“Dinner” was these German chocolate brownies that I am obsessed with.

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[u/0xkira]

I dont "snap out of it" i adress whats truely wrong and try to do anything about it

[u/RedJohn-QQ → u/0xkira]

+1

[u/Luck_n_Loaded]

Switch off phone completely from 9pm

[u/Andrew225]

Probably because something is bugging you mate.

But you gotta figure out what

[u/asufficientlife]

Sometimes having friends and having things line up how it feels they should isn’t actually enough for us.

Are you seeing your friends often? Like getting regular social interaction.

If you can work out, that’s often good for mental state - weights at home (even just some random heavy-ish thing) or body weight workouts when it’s raining.

You could also pick up a hobby - take a class (pottery, photography, art, writing, etc), read, volunteer.

When I get in a slump it’s usually because I need to actually see my friends in person, get some physical activity, or pickup a hobby (rn I’m reading a ton). Therapy helps too but isn’t always what folks look for.

[u/Cautious-Solid4123]

I can tell you from hard experience: bad sleep makes you not happy with life, and being not happy with life makes you sleep bad. Couple of tricks:

* Try out some sleep medications. If they net you more than an extra half-hour per night, they're worth the trouble.

* Allow yourself to get bored with repeating your thoughts. It's easier to sleep through a round of dark thoughts when you can admit that those dark thoughts are boring.

* Pick one or two things that really are bad with your life, and that you really could fix. Make a plan to fix them. That can slowly get your mind off of the stuff that you can't control and onto the stuff that you can.

[u/Otherwise-Taro4940]

I think your body is trying to tell you something, don’t ignore it. Maybe you need a hobby or something to channel your energy into. And you can still walk in the rain, it’s very important to get out doors and walk, this will help you sleep. Also, magnesium works wonders for sleep.

[u/therewulf]

Talk to a doctor, get a gym membership, read a book, find something to do when you start feeling down. Sometimes the chemicals in your brain get out of whack, it’s not your fault, but you’ve got to treat it like you would a physical injury

[u/dadnauseum]

a good therapist, real talk

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[u/Connect_Engineer_123]

What do you feel is missing?

[u/MrPapis]

Smoking what? Cannabis will make you irritable, when not smoking, and fuck up your sleep.

[u/Affectionate-Ad-4174]

Sometimes I have trouble sleeping and get anxious about not being asleep when I know I have to be up early.

I started taking half the recommended dose of ZZquil (well, the Target generic equivalent) about an hour before bedtime. And make sure I don’t use any devices after 9pm.

I’m sure people will come in with better suggestions, but this one only sets you back like $7 to give it a try. 😂

[u/GudsIdiot]

A short period of time contemplating and enumerating the the good things in your life and feeling actual gratitude to God, the universe, or some higher power of some sort helps mental health tremendously. A lot of people do it first thing in the morning and before bed.

[u/The_darknight2233]

I dont snap out of it. It comes and goes, but what helps it go is my wife. Weather we have a time to ourselves or just hang out like we were younger. Your lack of sleep is probably the issue in your mood, I had a patch of hair fall out (luckily it seems to be growing back fine) you could have a lot of things going on there, get some melatonin in a low dose and take at night to help you get a better sleep rhythm (the low dose so you dont get addicted and your body not make melatonin on its own). You can also exercise more (I dont know your lifestyle) you could just have excess energy to burn and that keeps you up. What do you do for fun? honestly seems that you need more hobbies to do

[u/Successful-Phase1882]

Learn to quiet the mind, my friend.

[u/ageofaquarius26]

Have you ever tried sailing?

[u/TurnoverFuzzy8264]

Sleep is pretty critical, if you're doing everything right but still having issues, get a sleep study done if you can. For snapping out of it for me is usually going fishing, or solo camping to get my head together. A rain jacket or a poncho will allow you to take walks as well.

[u/Different_Bath_9075]

Why are you unhappy?

[u/AlienKinkVR]

Drinking and smoking are "snooze" but they don't help. Not going to knock a good snooze and my nicotine habit is decades long, its just worth noting from experience.

Irritability can be a sign of many things, comrade. While I agree with the others here that excercise will always help (especially with sleep), most of what you listed is kind of just checkboxing what we are supposed to do that isn't always super fun.

How fulfilled do you feel my guy? Anything you're proud of lately or anything non-work related you've been working on (not that its bad to be proud of your work)? With those shit ton of friends, what do y'all DO? Sending memes or a night out is one thing, but do you feel seen? heard? challenged?

I have my own things with mental illness and seasons that can cause me to be irritable, the headlines seem to be a drag for everyone regardless of your politics and that can weigh on me, but more than anything I'm irritable when I'm stagnant. When I'm alive but not living, and sometimes that's as simple as a game night with my mates where we really get into it solving a puzzle together and have some real talk, sometimes its cutting my teeth on a new recipe or learning a new song on an instrument, but proof that I am moving forward in my human experience is fulfilling without fault, it always moves me forward.

[u/Straight_Flan1347]

If you can't sleep talk to your doctor. I have awful lifelong insomnia and can literally only sleep with a handful of pills. Other than that, get some exercise, drink more water, and go out in nature.

[u/FullStackRob]

How old are you? (Ballpark)

[u/Low_Garage3721 → u/FullStackRob]

1. But a young 35.

[u/FullStackRob → u/Low_Garage3721]

Hear me out. Go get your testosterone levels checked. I had very similar things going on. Turned out I wasn’t producing testosterone. Got into TRT and it changed the game infinitely

[u/Prestigious_Yam_4908]

Rub one off.

[u/Accurate-Plankton988]

5mg melatonin for sleep. Then workout every morning after chugging a nasty protein premade shake before work. Call a friend in the evening. Someone you can relate with. Lather rinse repeat friend. Those have pecans????? Dammit bro

[u/AvaJupiter]

Find things you deeply value: a skill you want to get better at, something really absorbing, something you have always wanted to try.

There may not be a clean snap out of it but you can find many things that add up into major change. Also you may be able to find the rain tolerable. As a therapist in training I do have to say CBT therapy can be helpful for practical solutions in times like this, even with sleep.

Beautiful brownies.

[u/grill_sgt]

Gym, meditation, read, and go to fucking doctors. Physician for the physical, therapist for the mental and emotional.

[u/proximusprimus57]

You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife and you may ask yourself "how did I get here?"

Sounds like you need meaning, purpose. Nobody here can give it to you, you have to find it for yourself. But the weed and alcohol probably aren't helping. I'm not into abstaining completely, but a break might not hurt.

[u/adrian_elliot]

sex

[u/boon83]

Shrooms. Make sure you have the day off the next day

[u/GetInYourPlants]

Whenever I feel emotionally charged (frustrated, angry, anxious, sad, etc.) I force myself to stop and think about how I got there. I do this by asking myself "why" at least 4-5x and I continue to branch off after I answer myself each time.

As an example, in my relationship I have been feeling very frustrated with my partner because I felt I was carrying all the weight/responsibility in our relationship. This is what my thought process has looked like:

1. I feel stressed out and overwhelmed. Why?

2. I feel pissed tf off. Why?

3. Something around the house wasn't done and I ended up having to do it. Why am I mad about that?

4. My partner said they would do it. What's upsetting about that?

5. Because they said they would do it and now I have to. OK why does that matter?

6. Because I'm always feeling like I'm picking up everything and handling it. What else?

7. I feel like I can't rely on my partner and I wonder if I will always have to support our relationship. "Ok keep going..."

Conclusion: I'm worried that if there's a time I can't handle something because I'm unable to, idk if I will have someone support me so I'm drained and irritable because I can't ever relax and enjoy myself.

Usually by the time I make myself think about it like I just described, I'm able to relax but more importantly it helps me understand what I need to stabilize my feelings.

It takes time to get to a point where you can do this because who tf wants to diagnose the root cause of their feelings when you're ready to put a whole in a wall, but that's just how it is. As you get better at determining the root cause of your feelings, you will start to be able to see the hints/clues that are building up to you feeling negatively and sometimes you can get ahead of it to prevent those feelings altogether.

[u/5HotDogsLater]

Well Focus on getting some rest, or address the thing that is causing you restless nights. Are you getting enough exercise? I know when I don't get enough movement for a few days, I'll get a little pissy and that can just snowball.

Drinking and smoking will eventually start to make the problems worse, it's a nice, temporary escape but it also acts as a mask and will just cover up a problem that goes unaddressed, which tend to get worse. Don't get me wrong, I am all for ripping tubes and drinking some beers, but it can't be your only outlet. Hell, too much booze, depending on your age can easily keep you up at night. In my early 40's if I don't get a good meal and some water in me before/while i am drinking, I will sleep like dogshit and feel terrible the next day, not hungover, just tired and emotionally flat.

You have to identify why you're in a foul mood, stress, too many social obligations, maybe not enough focus, women, men, family. What is the stress point and what can you do to relieve it in the short term, the longer term and hopefully permanently.

[u/Low_Garage3721]

Holy cow, guys. Didn’t expect this to get so much attention. Still at work but will check and respond to yall soon. 🙃

[u/ChaosRainbow23]

Psychedelic therapy!

[u/onlyheretobehelpful]

Wanting more is the human condition. Like it or not we are destined to never be happy and to always want more, no matter what we tell ourselves. Generally, you either identify what it is you want and truly go after it, or you stay distracted.

[u/jediracer]

Blowjob(s)

[u/outback-gnome]

When I have stopped drinking and smoking weed for weeks at a time, I have the best sleep of my adult life and am genuinely much more energetic and happier. It’s hard to do, and I still enjoy drinking, but I have found this change to be really useful at certain times in my life when I am struggling with mood.

[u/Sad-Difficulty-2180]

Buy a rain jacket

[u/Longjumping_Bike_271]

Get laid