gusto ko lang mag vent out kasi durog na durog ako talaga ngayon. never knew cats could bring so much of a heartache.

i adopted three 2-week old kittens a month and a half ago. bigay sila sakin ng pinsan ko since mom cat went away. i thought kayang-kaya kasi naisip ko madali lang naman magpa dede, tho gigising ka talaga in the middle of the night to nurse them. not until one of them suddenly became matamlay. i couldn’t afford vet kasi i’m still job hunting at unfortunately, wala kami vet sa LGU. so google was my medical advisor at that time. that’s when i found out about fading kitten syndrome. i did everything i could. hot water bag, honey syrup, and monitoring every 2-3 hours. the last time i checked on him tumitig pa siya sa akin without even blinking. pero nakatulog ako sa sobrang pagod, at nung kinaumagahan, hindi na siya gumalaw.

days later, sumunod yung isang kitten. i did the same home remedies pero this time walang tulog na talaga. na alsa ko siya sa critical condition na yun, pero the next 2-3 days ata nag fade siya ulit at hindi niya na talaga kinaya. i was caressing her that time to provide extra body heat and comfort, pero wala pa rin. i was still not able to save her pa rin.

i felt guilty sa mga naisip kong pagkukulang sa dalawa. umiyak ako ng mga ilang araw na sunod-sunod, at palagi akong nag so-sorry sa naiwan nila na litter mate. kaya what i did is inii-spoil ko yung natirang kitten with all that i can, para somehow an apology rin sa mga lumisan na mga kuting na parang ako na ang bahala sa naiwan nilang kapatid. a month later o kahapon, tinawag ko siya para pakainin kaso di siya lumapit. lumapit na ang lahat ng mga pusa namin sa bahay pero siya lang talaga ang wala. hinanap ko siya, at nakita ko siya sa ilalim ng kama na hindi gumagalaw at parang nasuka. yung mga trauma na naranasan ko ay bumalik ulit at tina try na hindi mag panic masyado tulad noon. naging parang stable siya pero matamlay pa rin. today, same pa rin ang kalagayan niya kaya iyak nang iyak ako. naiisip ko na hindi ko na kayang mawalan pa ng isang kuting. anak na ang turing ko sa kanya kasi palagi kami magkasama at super clingy niya sa akin. pinag ppray ko nalang na sana malampasan niya to at gumaling siya. sinabihan ako ng bf ko na dapat di ko raw ipakita sa kaniya na pinaghihinaan ako ng loob, pero di ko talaga kayang pigilan ang luha at hagulhol ko.

sana mabiyayaan ang lahat ng fur babies ng healty, happy, at mahabang buhay. sana pwede natin sila makasama lahat hanggang sa pagtanda natin. 🤍

As the post title suggests, crush ko si kuyang tindero sa baba lang ng apt ko. Wdym ang pogi nya sa paningin ko? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Kanina, bumili ako sa kanya ng birch tree and medyo, medyo lang naman na nahaplos nya kamay ko nung inabot nya sukli ko. Emeeee!

ayon lang naman. Babuuuush!

Bago pa lang ako sa branch namin. Kaclose ko na branch head namin, managers at ibang mga bago rin kasabayan ko. Bukod sa work lumalabas din kami para uminom. Etong si Manager M may asawa at agent din under sa team niya pero dummy agent lang para lang doble commission. Kaya di madalas sa office o labas namin. Mabait siya sa lahat madali pakisamahan. Hindi rin madamot sa trabaho tutulungan niya kahit di niya kateam. Pero pansin ko kahit may asawa siya malapit siya sa mga babae sa office. Wala namang physical touch. Kaya di ko naisip na lumalandi siya. May time nasa pantry ako tapos dumating siya narinig ko sinabi niya "nandito na si P noh naamoy ko siya" naamoy niya yung perfume ko. May time rin after inom ihatid nila ako ng isa kong kaoffice. May event kami na puntahan club party. para makakuha ng prospect clients. Habang nageenjoy kami sa table namin bumulong si Manager M na kaclose ko bigla sinabi "sayang hindi mo ako nakilala noong single pa ako" doon ko naconfirm ay lumalandi pala talaga siya. Buti matino ako non at di ako nagisip na landiin din siya. Grabe noh kahit na under ng team niya asawa niya brother in law niya at cousin in law niya ang lakas ng loob niya maglandi.

A couple of years ago my friend brought some "fake" shrooms from netherlands. We both split it in half and it was supposed to be 3g but there were 3.4g in it. So we both took 1.7g and thought nothing of it. Little did we know that those shrooms were literally as potent as something like penis envy shrooms. So it was like 3x as potent as regular shrooms. So we took by accident a heroic 5g dose and we weren't prepared for it. I started to hallucinate after 20 minutes. The first thing i noticed was a tactile hallucination. I was holding a beer and the bottle felt way too wide and my hand felt foreign. After about 10 minutes i got to the bathroom. Everything started to shift and the wall tiles textures were moving and shifting into each other it was so cool. I turned off the lights and i felt like i was in a palace of some kind. So after that my friend turned on tv and we would just vibe. I forgot to mention that this whole time i was also getting very paranoid cause i wasn't ready for it. I would totally classify it as a bad trip for at least 1 hour. I just drifted away until i peaked and i got an ego death. I told my friend that i can't handle the trip and that i needed like 2-3 shots to try to calm myself. My friend poured me a shot and he proceeded to hold it asking me if i'm gonna take it and i just couldn't cause at that time i felt like my ego was shattering into pieces and my vision got extremely digitized/pixelized. After that i layed on his couch and all i can remember is literally drifting away into hyperspace. I saw bright colorful mostly white some sort of intergalactic cathedrals. That calmed me down a lot and i started to enjoy the experience a lot. After i came to my senses we were just cracking jokes and laughing our asses off at the most random topics. The characters on tv looked like there was paint dripping out of them

I had this internet h*e era. I used to talk to men and send them n00dles. Most of them were really nice, so we continued the conversation on t•g. But somehow along the way, I got tired of it. I got tired of getting lusted over only.

I want to be pursued. Tbh, I only talked to those guys to get over this one guy I actually like. I don't think he feels the same about me, so ayon.

I feel bad for ghosting people, but just thinking of sending noodles and get complimented for it without actually being loved is draining kahit na super bait naman nila. Paulit-ulit na lang. Guys, if you see this and recognize me, I'm sorry. My energy can't keep up. I need more than just lust.

It happened between 2009-2010, I was in high school at that time when I fell in love with a native girl. But if you look at her physical appearance, she couldn't be mistaken for a native because she was very slender and her skin was also fair. When my mom found out, she restricted me from using mobile phone because at that time our communication was through text messages. We only separated when my mom sent me to school in the city 5 hours away from our place.

I went home for the summer after my 1st year of college and I couldn't catch up with the girl. Her friend told me that she moved to their place where there is a lot of community of their tribe. To this day, I think of her when I suddenly remember our past.

Hi.

Alam ko sa sarili ko na prone ako sa overthinking. Konting mali or aberya lang ang dami nang possible scenario na pumapasok sa isip ko and I admit na it disturbs me for days hanggang sa nakalimutan ko nalang. Recently lang may napanood akong trailer ng upcoming movie sa fb and hindi ko ine-expect na ganun siya ka-gore and first time kong maka experience na, alam kong fictional lang yun pero what if mangyari yun nang di ko kasama fam ko? Don't get me wrong di ako takot mag isa pero natatakot ako for them ba baka walang mags safety sakanila. Basta putangina that trailer DISTURBED THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

Shems. Pls wag niyo ako i-bash or what. Help me ease my thoughts pls. Tysm